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Author Topic: Great forum...can you help before xmas  (Read 3585 times)

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Offline John1234

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Great forum...can you help before xmas
« on: December 21, 2011, 12:41:45 PM »
I am very safe when it comes to sex - always wear condoms - but about a year ago I got involved with a south African girl on holiday. We deep kissed and then got involved in mutual masturbation. I fingered her for sum time and it finished with her giving me a blow job. When I got to my room fear kicked in. I had blood on two of my fingers and the next day I noticed quite a big cut on my index finger. Not sure when the cut occurred and unsure of whether the blood was from the cut or her vagina or both. it was not very sore and healed about a week later. Six weeks later I got a sore throat, fever, white specks on tonsils. I went to the doctor who said he suspected glandular fever and gave me amoxicillin. Week later had the worst rash ever. Was covered across chest, arms and legs. I was taken off the drug and got better in two weeks. I have read your forum in detail and think it offers great advice to worriers like myself. I just wondered am I likely to be infected? The fingering is what I am really concerned about. P.s. I shall not bombard you with follow up questions. I just need sum  before I go on my Xmas holiday. Thanks for listening. 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #1 on: December 21, 2011, 12:45:31 PM »
Nothing you did put you at risk of contracting HIV.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #2 on: December 21, 2011, 12:54:59 PM »
John, you are worrying needlessly. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you consistently use condoms for those activities you will be well protected.

There is nothing HIV-specific about your symptoms. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

This is not an HIV situation. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #3 on: December 21, 2011, 12:59:43 PM »
Andy, Rod, thank u very much. Worry over. Keep up the good work and have a great Xmas. John.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #4 on: December 21, 2011, 08:40:58 PM »
You too, John. Get on with your life and remember to always use condoms for intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #5 on: December 28, 2011, 03:50:45 AM »
Sorry to trouble you again. I just realised how the cut occurred. It happened in the nightclub before the incident. It bled quite a lot. We sat outside for sum time talking and didn't realise it bleeding then. If it was bleeding at the time of the fingering does this change your risk assessment. Sorry to keep going on.

Offline Ann

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #6 on: December 28, 2011, 04:18:55 AM »
John,

No, it does not change our risk assessment. (I'm in total agreement with the replies you have already had.)

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us, go test and collect your negative result. As this happened over a year ago, a test at any time will be conclusive.

As a sexually active adult, you should have a COMPLETE sexual health check up at least once a year. You are much more likely to end up with one of the other, more easily transmitted STIs and some of them can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to accurately know the state of your sexual health is regular testing.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER ANY SORT OF FINGERING, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #7 on: December 28, 2011, 06:29:49 AM »
Thank you Ann.  :)

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #8 on: December 28, 2011, 01:29:42 PM »
I decided to get tested. Have to wait two weeks. Nurse at clinic said there is a possibilty of infection as I had an open cut and was exposed to fluids. She said it is small but there is a chance. What do u think of her opinion? Do
u think I could test positive? Very scared. Could do with some
help.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #9 on: December 28, 2011, 04:04:22 PM »
HIV is unable to reproduce outside its living host (unlike many bacteria or fungi, which may do so under suitable conditions), except under laboratory conditions; therefore, it does not spread or maintain infectiousness outside its host.

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #10 on: December 28, 2011, 04:25:39 PM »
Thanks Rod but my fingers were inside her. Does this make a difference as in open cut finger exposed to fluids inside vagina. I don't want to keep going on. Just worried.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #11 on: December 28, 2011, 04:28:50 PM »
HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex with a penis not a finger.
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #12 on: December 30, 2011, 04:47:16 AM »
Thanks Rod and everyone else. I guess the results will show. I'm just having all these crazy thoughts at the moment that the finger I was using might have needed a stitch and that it's openess would give access to my blood stream. Am I being stupid? Even in this case would I have been ok? I swear this will be my last response. Wishing u all a happy new year. :)

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #13 on: December 30, 2011, 04:55:43 AM »
Thanks Rod and everyone else. I guess the results will show. I'm just having all these crazy thoughts at the moment that the finger I was using might have needed a stitch and that it's openess would give access to my blood stream. Am I being stupid? Even in this case would I have been ok? I swear this will be my last response. Wishing u all a happy new year. :)


1. Am I being stupid? Yes
2. Even in this case would I have been ok? Yes

You never had a risk from fingering.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #14 on: December 30, 2011, 09:26:06 AM »
John, you are worrying needlessly. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. As long as you consistently use condoms for those activities you will be well protected.

There is nothing HIV-specific about your symptoms. If they persist you should discuss them with your doctor.

This is not an HIV situation. Period.

Nothing more to add. Get on with your life. And I am going to warn you that if you continue to come back here over your non-risk incident you are going to find yourself getting a 28 day Time Out from the site. Believe it or not, HIV is not your problem.  Period.
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #15 on: January 03, 2012, 06:16:08 AM »
Got my test results back - negative. Thank u for calming my nerves through what has been an awful lot of worry over nothing. U really are the best forum on the web. U offer fast, concise and clear responses and do not use fear and hysteria like other sites I've come across which make HIV sound like the plague. As u said it is a fragile virus transmitted in certain ways. Keep up the good work. U really are a terrific forum. Andy, Rod, Ann thank u. I have also decided to see what I can do locally to spread the word and raise money for HIV/aids charities. Happy new year to u all.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #16 on: January 03, 2012, 09:24:34 AM »
That's a happy result although not unexpected here.

Just continue always using condoms and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.

Onward!
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #17 on: January 03, 2012, 09:37:25 AM »

I have also decided to see what I can do locally to spread the word and raise money for HIV/aids charities.


John,

You could donate to the Terrence Higgins Trust (THT). If you're in the Merseyside area, Sahir House is an excellent organisation (I'm a member). If Manchester is closer to home, you can help out the George House Trust. I will admit to being partial to Sahir House.

One of the most effective things you can do is to make sure you're using condoms and urge your mates to do the same. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #18 on: January 03, 2012, 10:26:51 AM »
Thanks Ann will look into that. Just made me realise after so much extensive research how uninformed people are about the virus. I shall pass on your advice to friends. In the spur of the moment people can make really bad choices that can last a lifetime. I know it has made me think twice. Right enough from me. Take care. Much respect, John.

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #19 on: January 04, 2012, 01:52:12 PM »
Andy, Ann, last post I swear. Just for future note if I ever were to put myself at risk a negative test would be conclusive when? My last sexual encounter was sept 10th protected and tested on weds dec 28th at G.u.m clinic in England. Would have shown up right? Last post. No more. Moving on. John.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #20 on: January 04, 2012, 01:58:39 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #21 on: January 04, 2012, 02:35:32 PM »
John,

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week (or more) negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

Your test in December would have been nearly sixteen weeks after your incident in September. If you had a risk, it the result would be conclusive. As you had protected intercourse, you weren't at risk so it's no surprise that you tested negative - conclusively negative.

You do NOT have hiv!

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2012, 11:46:42 AM »
Thanks Ann. I really want to put all these experiences behind me and accept my result. Only thing is the last time I had sex I struggled to get the condom on and there were air bubbles. To my knowledge it was intact when I withdrew. If it broke can I live my life knowing that my test at 15 weeks, with whatever test at a G.u.m clinic in England is negative. Some sites say six months is conclusive. I really don't want to get a time out I just want to put this last fear to bed and live a happy life. Sorry John.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2012, 01:08:32 PM »
Your testing negative in December only confirmed what we knew already, that you were not at risk for HIV.

If the condom had broken you would have known it. Condom breakage is not about itty bitty little holes. When it fails the entire thing ends up looking like a hoop with fringe on your penis.

You are HIV negative. Stop the drama and get on with your life. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2012, 01:25:04 PM »
Thanks Andy. U just hear so much conflicting stuff on the net. I think I'm going to give Internet searching a rest and accept my result and move on. All the best

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #25 on: January 11, 2012, 02:25:11 PM »
That's a good idea about quitting surfing the net. All you will do is seek out what will feed you worst fears and all to no good purpose.

You're HIV negative. Period.

And at this point I am going to warn you that if you come back again about the same situation when we already know you are negative, you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site.

HIV is not your problem. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #26 on: January 19, 2012, 09:47:41 AM »
Okay I don't want to be one of these people that keeps coming back here with no risk situations. That would be pointless but this is a new situation that has confused me somewhat. Not related to my past posts. A few weeks ago I had sex with a girl I know pretty well. We used protection. Couple of weeks later I have developed a throbbing pain in my penis so thought I should get it checked out. G.u.m thinks I may have chlamydia. I know your a HIV specific website but I'm worried because I wore protection throughout the whole event. If the tests come back positive do u think I should re-run my HIV test? I've read that as long as condoms don't spilt then u r safe but could there be any other ways through condom use I could become infected. Please don't give me a timeout. I really think you guys are terrific n I'm not in the habit of pestering people for no reason but I'm really confused on how I could end up with this bacterial infection when I played it so safe? Is it likely I could have caught it years ago or from another experience before my HIV test? Just need some help. Much respect.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #27 on: January 19, 2012, 10:24:02 AM »
Okay I don't want to be one of these people that keeps coming back here with no risk situations. That would be pointless but this is a new situation that has confused me somewhat. Not related to my past posts. A few weeks ago I had sex with a girl I know pretty well. We used protection. Couple of weeks later I have developed a throbbing pain in my penis so thought I should get it checked out. G.u.m thinks I may have chlamydia. I know your a HIV specific website but I'm worried because I wore protection throughout the whole event. If the tests come back positive do u think I should re-run my HIV test? I've read that as long as condoms don't spilt then u r safe but could there be any other ways through condom use I could become infected. Please don't give me a timeout. I really think you guys are terrific n I'm not in the habit of pestering people for no reason but I'm really confused on how I could end up with this bacterial infection when I played it so safe? Is it likely I could have caught it years ago or from another experience before my HIV test? Just need some help. Much respect.
Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In addition, consistent and correct use of latex condoms reduces the risk of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including diseases transmitted by genital secretions, and to a lesser degree, genital ulcer diseases. Condom use may reduce the risk for genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and HPV-associated diseases, e.g., genital warts and cervical cancer.

Again this is not an HIV concern.

Offline Ann

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #28 on: January 19, 2012, 10:28:07 AM »
John,

Don't put the cart before the horse. You said the clinic thinks you have chlamydia but you do not yet know if this is true or not. Non-specific urethritis isn't always sexually transmitted. It can also be present for some time before you experience symptoms - and you can have it without symptoms as well.

You need to understand that UNLIKE hiv, many of the bacterial STIs are MUCH more easily transmitted. This is why I always urge people to get checked for ALL the STIs. Between being easily transmitted, they can be present with no obvious symptoms.

You would only need to retest for hiv if you need to see that negative result for peace of mind.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #29 on: January 19, 2012, 10:38:10 AM »
Thanks Rod and Ann. So HIV wise still no risk?

Offline Ann

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #30 on: January 19, 2012, 11:04:01 AM »
John,

No. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John1234

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Please help
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2012, 01:40:21 PM »
Last Thursday I went out n got very drunk. I can't remember any of the nightclub but was with a lot of gay guys. I remember getting home in a taxi n someone telling me to get tested. I've come up with all these crazy theories that something happened to me in the nightclub because for the last week I've had a sore backside. Do u think I would remember anal sex if it happened n would the pain be there the next day not three days later? Is this just a fear of HIV taking control again?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #32 on: March 22, 2012, 04:03:17 PM »
John, I've merged your threads here. Please follow the rule of the site as stated in the opening thread of this Forum and always keep all of your entries in this same thread.

I honestly can't tell if your latest concern is about a for real risk or simply another maybe what if. Having a sore butt can happen for all sorts of reasons. But if you have any serious doubts about what may have happened on your drunken night out, then get tested. You can do it initially at 6 weeks. If you test negative at that point then you will likely continue to test negative for a conclusive result at 3 months.

Mixing excessive drinking and going on the town and maybe having casual sex is a very dangerous combination. Avoid it in the future. If you are old enough to be having sex then you are old enough to behave responsibly about protecting yourself. 

Good luck if you decide to get tested.
Andy Velez

Offline John1234

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #33 on: April 13, 2012, 05:26:20 PM »
Sorry for the late reply...thanks Andy. I had a test at day 28 rapid combo which was negative. Doctor listened to my concerns and said that the test was conclusive in relation to the risk. If I had another rapid combo at six weeks do you think that I can rule out HIV. hope you're well, kindest regards.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Great forum...can you help before xmas
« Reply #34 on: April 13, 2012, 07:21:26 PM »
As long as you are comfortable that there wasn't any penetration then I don't see a need for any testing.

But given your history of excessive worrying, I would say test at 6 weeks or 3 months, whichever you need essentially just for your peace of mind.

What will it take for you to let go of what I think is probably an unwarranted concern? 
Andy Velez

 


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