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Author Topic: He only started to enter me...  (Read 1920 times)

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Offline Miadeuu

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He only started to enter me...
« on: April 05, 2012, 05:09:16 AM »
Hello fine people.

I'd just like to start by saying that as someone who is unfortunately rather paranoid about unsafe sex, i have read this forum before and think you all have the patience of saints. Hopefully my story isn't going to sound too ridiculous.

I am usually a top but a few days ago I decided to use a dildo and really try bottoming. I enjoyed it but the roughness that morning of using it had made me bleed slightly, as the dildo was rather large.

Anyway that evening I met a man and we ended up back at his. I made it clear we wouldn't be having sex but we fooled around anyway. It was at this stage is known he had split up with his boyfriend in january and claimed he had his last std test in February, since which he hasn't slept with anyone. I believed this but still kept my wits around me. We had oral sex briefly on each other and at one stage he started rubbing his cock against my anus by my request. At one stage we got a little too vigorous and the head of his cock for just a split second began to enter me. We both immediate stopped realizing what was happening and continue to mutually masrurbate until we cum.

My worry started afterwards, when I went to the toilet I realized that I was still bleeding a bit from the mornings rough antics and having even mild pressure applied to that area looked like it had started again.

I explained the situation to the guy afterwards and he assured me not to worry as he was confident his test result was accurate. He would have nothing to gain from not telling me.

I woke up today, two days after, with swollen glands. It could be unrelated as ive been feeling a bit iffy for about a week and with the warm weather im dehydrated. But am i at risk from this anal rubbing and a very brief beginning of insertion? I can still seek PEP, but im not sure if that is wise given what happened?

Any advice welcomed.

Offline Miadeuu

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Re: He only started to enter me...
« Reply #1 on: April 10, 2012, 07:47:44 PM »
Hi there, can anyone clarify the level of risk associated with this?

I had protected sex the following week with a man, but I was very drunk. I recall often insisting on condom usage and as such we went through 4 that night because i was so persistent, I do even remember stopping him at one point to make sure his condom was on. However, as I don't tend to sleep with men when i'm drunk, there are parts of the night i'm not 100% sure what happened during.

The next day I asked the gentleman in question the question id asked previous - his status and if we'd definitely used condoms. I know that is an embarrassing question to ask given that its equal responsibility, but usually when i cant remember  a moment in time i assume the worst as I am a worrier. He assured me we used multiple condoms throughout the course of the night, that he was negative as of his last testing and that I had nothing to worry about.  We remain in touch as friends now.

I think because I have trust issues I am always suspicious of taking other peoples word for things, and why should i? My sexual health is my own responsibility. I just worrry now chronically about if ive put myself in a bad position as I've been feeling a little under the weather since. My good friend recently tested positive after a drunken encounter with a man whom ejaculated inside of him. I think this incident has struck the fear into me, and I just need some reassurance if possible about what I should do next.

I am thinking about seeking counselling from a local sexual health service too because my attitudes towards sex and men are obviously not super healthy


Offline jkinatl2

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Re: He only started to enter me...
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2012, 12:06:54 AM »
If you used a condom, then you were absolutely protected against HIV. Of course other STDs are more easy to catch.

However, I agree that it might be wise for you to re-examine your combining hard drinking and sex with partners of unknown status. Mistakes can certainly happen in condom use, and you really want to have your wits at least somewhat about you when you negotiate for - and then implement - safer sex practices.

I think you came out of this OK. But careening around like that, trust me, is a recipe for disaster. Please take care of yourself.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: He only started to enter me...
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2012, 06:36:31 AM »

I think because I have trust issues I am always suspicious of taking other peoples word for things, and why should i? My sexual health is my own responsibility.


You're absolutely right to not take other people's word when it comes to their hiv status. Many people only assume they are hiv negative. You're also absolutely correct when you say that your sexual health is your own responsibility. Kudos.

I have to ask - are you one of those people who only assumes that they're hiv negative? Have you ever been tested and if you have, do you test regularly or are you going by one result a few years ago? Regular hiv and STI testing is a MUST for any sexually active adult.

I really don't see any risk in anything you've written. (And I do apologise that your first post went unanswered for so long - you somehow fell through the cracks and that doesn't happen often here. I'm not sure how it did in your case; sorry about that.)

The only thing you report that was slightly risky was the split-second entrance during frottage. (The penis/anus rubbing you report is called frottage, and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.) I seriously wouldn't worry about that - it was far too brief and shallow to be of any real concern.

I agree with JK - please examine your habit of drinking and having sexual encounters. A few drinks is ok, but drinking to the point where your memory is hazy isn't good. Your plan to get some counseling is a very good idea - please follow through with it.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year (twice or more is better if you're very active with several partners) and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts


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