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Author Topic: HIV Risk please help me  (Read 4844 times)

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Offline helpme123

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HIV Risk please help me
« on: March 27, 2012, 06:58:22 AM »
About 2 weeks back. I had unprotected oral sex with a lady and i freaked out and i ask her to stopped. The whole oral sex lasted at most 30sec-1min. I fingered her and kissed her and it ended with a handjob with condom. Its been 14days since the incident and i am very scared i might contract HIV through these actitvities. I am intending to go for a screening on the 21st or the 22st day from the incident. Please give me your opinions. 

Offline Ann

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #1 on: March 27, 2012, 07:39:24 AM »
help,

Nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection.

Kissing is not a risk. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. For this reason, getting a blowjob is also not a risk for hiv infection.

Fingering is not a risk. Hiv can only infect a very few, very specific types of cells and these cells are not present on your fingers, even if you have cuts or hangnails or whatever.

Getting a handjob - or blowjob - with or without a condom is not a risk for hiv infection.

Not one person has ever been infected through any of the ways you're worried about and you are not going to be the first.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER HANDJOBS, BLOWJOBS, FINGERING OR KISSING, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpme123

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #2 on: March 27, 2012, 07:42:53 AM »
Thanks for replying so fast.
So if i were to be tested on the 21st or 22nd since the incident the result would be conclusive???

Offline Ann

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #3 on: March 27, 2012, 07:46:53 AM »
Help,

Yes, you can test at any time and get a conclusive result - because you have not been at risk for hiv infection. You'd only be at risk if you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse that you haven't told us about.

When you have actually been at risk, you would have to wait three months for a conclusive result. You do not have to wait because you have not been at risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpme123

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #4 on: March 28, 2012, 09:29:50 AM »
there is still about 5 more days before i am going to test. i still feel really queasy about the oral sex and the etc. Although it lasted only about 30seconds-1min for the oral sex. I still feel i am at risk of getting infected. Should i really be very worried at all ????

Offline Ann

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #5 on: March 28, 2012, 09:59:48 AM »
help,

You can feel as queasy as you want, but it will not change the fact that getting a blowjob isn't going to cause you to be hiv positive. Not one person has ever been infected this way and you certainly are not going to be the first.

You got your dick sucked - get over it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpme123

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #6 on: March 31, 2012, 12:07:52 PM »
I just went testing today. ELISA finger prick and is only the 18th day since the incident. The results came back negative. But at the clinic the person said it was not conclusive as the window period was still short of a few days. Should be worried?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: unprotected oral sex questions!!!
« Reply #7 on: March 31, 2012, 12:16:13 PM »
Actually you were far short of the appropriate testing time for a conclusive result IF you had a real risk. 3 months is the testing point for a conclusive negative result.

But you did not have a risk as you have been told before, so testing was/is completely unnecessary. If you decide you need to do it anyway for your peace of mind then get tested at 3 months. But you really don't need to do that.
Andy Velez

Offline helpme123

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HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #8 on: January 18, 2013, 04:11:29 AM »
About a 13 days ago, i have sex with a stranger i met in a pub. She was one of the working girls in there. We ended have sex and i had unprotected oral sex with her and i did the same for her for a brief amount of time. And we have protected sex and i use alot of condoms. About 7 of them and now i am extremely worried that maybe because of so many attempts at sex my risk increases. After the whole incident i even fill the 7 condoms with water under a tap to see whether was there any leakages. None had any leakages unless i never notice it properly. As there was so many attempts and i remember i went limp and i took the condom out. And change it a new one when i ok. And there were brief moments were i penerate her and i was limp. Now i am afraid maybe the condom failed me and slipped and i came into contact with some of her fluids. but i remember none of the condoms slipped in anyway like totally. Just lots of attempts on sex. Please help me

Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #9 on: January 18, 2013, 04:35:26 AM »
◾Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #10 on: January 18, 2013, 04:45:46 AM »
i am really sorry about it. I need your advice please help me.

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #11 on: January 18, 2013, 10:02:26 AM »
help,

I've merged your new thread into your original thread - where you should post all your additional thoughts or questions. It helps us to help you when you keep everything in one thread. It doesn't matter how long it has been since you last posted in your thread or if the subject matter is different.

If you need help finding your thread when you come here, click on the "Show own posts" link under your name in the left-hand column of any forum page.

Please also read through the Welcome Thread so you can familiarize yourself with our Forum Posting Guidelines. Thank you for your cooperation.




Protected sex is just that - protected. No risk for hiv infection. And we've already told you repeatedly that getting a blowjob is also not a risk for hiv infection.

You have not had a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #12 on: January 18, 2013, 10:41:44 AM »
But i am really worried, cause i use 7 condoms and the attempts at sex was more and so my risk increases? And maybe out of the 7, i remember i went limp a little so i rest awhile and i continue. In any case if i really went limp and i penetrated her, is there a risk where by i could come in contact with her fluids because the condom was not tight but the condom remain on my penis through out i remember. I am just afraid its loose so i had a risk?? And i really feel abit weird since after that incident.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #13 on: January 18, 2013, 03:16:13 PM »
But i am really worried, cause i use 7 condoms and the attempts at sex was more and so my risk increases? And maybe out of the 7, i remember i went limp a little so i rest awhile and i continue. In any case if i really went limp and i penetrated her, is there a risk where by i could come in contact with her fluids because the condom was not tight but the condom remain on my penis through out i remember. I am just afraid its loose so i had a risk?? And i really feel abit weird since after that incident.

Whether you used seven, seventy, or one, they were used correctly. The vulnerable area of your penis, the urethra, was covered. That is the important thing.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #14 on: January 18, 2013, 08:19:32 PM »
In anyway if I was limp, and I penetrate her was I at risk at all? Like maybe her fluids manage to come in contact with me because the condom was not secure? And is it true there is lower risk for the insertive partner? In your experience have u come across where by condoms fail ppl and they get infected?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #15 on: January 18, 2013, 08:25:06 PM »
In anyway if I was limp, and I penetrate her was I at risk at all? Like maybe her fluids manage to come in contact with me because the condom was not secure? And is it true there is lower risk for the insertive partner? In your experience have u come across where by condoms fail ppl and they get infected?

There is an EXTREMELY  lower risk for the insertive partner. The reason being is that the infectious fluid in a female is deep within the vagina, in mucousal areas close to the cervix. You simply cannot encounter those with a limp penis, a tongue, or a finger.

You really have not had a risk.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #16 on: January 18, 2013, 11:37:40 PM »
Have you come across anyone who still got infected because they attempt sex
So many times at one go? So if I go get tested in a month's time is the result conclusive? In my case there is really no risk and i should not even be worried? For the past few days I am really feeling different like out of place and i develop a sore throat with green phlegm about 3days after the incident.
« Last Edit: January 18, 2013, 11:39:54 PM by helpme123 »

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #17 on: January 19, 2013, 12:54:07 AM »
Have you come across anyone who still got infected because they attempt sex
So many times at one go? So if I go get tested in a month's time is the result conclusive? In my case there is really no risk and i should not even be worried? For the past few days I am really feeling different like out of place and i develop a sore throat with green phlegm about 3days after the incident.

I have never seen a male test postive over a condom break - and you did not even have that.

There is no way you have HIV. I am sorry you are torturing yourself this way. I wish there were magic words I could use to make you believe that you are not infected.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #18 on: January 19, 2013, 07:46:16 AM »
How about have u seen a lot of people who are the insertive partner and did not use protection and they get infected? Is the numbers very great? Or people who use protection and still got it? I am really sorry but just a lot of things is going through my head. and I just feel really different

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #19 on: January 19, 2013, 08:56:43 AM »
Things maybe going around in your head but as you have already been repeatedly told, nothing you have reported would have put you at risk for HIV transmission. No risk. Period.

If you can't let go of this unwarranted concern about HIV then maybe you should see a therapist or other professional to discuss the matter. We can't help you with that in this setting. What I can tell you again is there was no risk. And we will not indulge you in an endless number of questions about what ifs connected to your fears which have no basis in HIV science.

Cut out the drama and get on with your life.
 
Andy Velez

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #20 on: January 21, 2013, 08:04:27 AM »
Just want to ask, how reliable are condoms in protected sex? And is there any known cases where vaginal fluids or her fluids that manage seep into a condom which is loose or not secure and manage to infect people. Because I use so many condoms and I am really afraid somehow somewhere something went wrong and I never notice and  if a condom breaks is it hard to not notice? Pls bear with me I just want to clear my doubts.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #21 on: January 21, 2013, 08:07:13 AM »
Latex condoms, when used consistently and correctly, are highly effective in preventing the sexual transmission of HIV, the virus that causes AIDS. In addition, consistent and correct use of latex condoms reduces the risk of other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs), including diseases transmitted by genital secretions, and to a lesser degree, genital ulcer diseases. Condom use may reduce the risk for genital human papillomavirus (HPV) infection and HPV-associated diseases, e.g., genital warts and cervical cancer.
Laboratory studies have demonstrated that latex condoms provide an essentially impermeable barrier to particles the size of STD pathogens.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #22 on: January 21, 2013, 08:18:43 AM »
Whether you go limp or not, condoms provide effective coverage. As long as the head of your penis is covered then you are protected.

When a condom breaks it's not about teeny tiny holes as people sometimes fear. When it fails it's very obvious to the eye because the whole thing goes and ends up looking like a hoop with fringe on your penis.

You are worrying needlessly. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #23 on: January 21, 2013, 08:51:06 AM »
I intend to get tested in about 11 days which is the one month mark. In my case if I get tested how accurate is it at that point, and will I turn out fine? The anxiety is really killing me. I am losin sleep and all. And I develop a sore throat after 3-4 days after the incident with green phlegm. Is it related?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #24 on: January 21, 2013, 08:52:48 AM »
You can test anytime, because you never had an exposure.

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #25 on: January 21, 2013, 09:11:33 AM »
Test anytime? But is it even conclusive to say I am off the hook and clear? I am sure u seen lots of ppl and cases but have u come across someone who did not turn out well even in a very protected and low risk situation. I am really sorry to bombard u.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #26 on: January 21, 2013, 01:26:44 PM »
Test anytime? But is it even conclusive to say I am off the hook and clear? I am sure u seen lots of ppl and cases but have u come across someone who did not turn out well even in a very protected and low risk situation. I am really sorry to bombard u.

I have not encountered anyone on this forum who used a condom for penetrative sex and then tested positive.

I have been on this site doing risk assessments for ten years.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline helpme123

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #27 on: January 22, 2013, 08:06:06 AM »
In any case, how accurate is a negative result at a month's time? Like
how clear is it of an indication? And in my case is there even a remote chance I can get it because I can't shake this off really

Offline Ann

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Re: HIV Risk please help me
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2013, 10:24:31 AM »
help,

As you have been told, you have not had a risk. Therefore a test at any time will be conclusive.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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