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Good Deed gone terribly wrong, now husband HIV

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ImisstheOldTimes:
Damn spell check!

Sicker and sicker

Blue75:
Imiss, thank you.  We are lucky (I guess) in that he was notified and found early.  He is not sick at all, nor does he look it.  We would have never known had he not been contacted. I'm so very sorry about your Dad. It must be hard.

Miss, I'm not sure if a place about 45 miles away may have actual support groups or not.  If it doesn't then we're 90 miles away for a large city.  His doctor is not a specialist per se, but from what we're told, is the main person other hiv in our town goes to.  Apparently she is the city's hiv guru so she is experienced and has several patients with it that she's been seeing for over 25yrs.  My husband; however, wants to enroll in the big cities hiv specialist hospital.  I will leave all those decisions up to him.  I just want to support him.  And, hopefully, I am still negative.  I was tested the day he found out; however, not really thinking this was all possible, we were intimate the night before.  I guess that doesn't matter as we've never used protection even after what we believe is the exposure time.

I'm not sure about my insurance.  In researching the various drugs for hiv, I went to my insurance website and when I typed the names in, it said not covered.  I guess we'll figure it out when the time comes.  His case worker said that no matter what, he will get his meds so I'm depending on that.  He does quality for the Ryan White program but only dr visits, labs, etc...no meds coverage from there. 

I'm leaning on God right now.  Trying to remember that He is in control, but it's hard.

Blue75:
, but Becaise he drawsis strengGot test results back... C265, viral 56500

What concerns me most...the liver tests are 700+ when high norm is lke 65. Oh God, please no more bad news.

I've been feeling strange lately...not normal, I am an emotional wreck &I scared for all of us now.

Pls help, if anyone has had super high liver counts. Is it the virus or is it the boredom drinking at night...every night? We are both just shy of 40yrs old.  Please let talk with me, I'm a mess..worse than my infected husband because he draws strength from me, but I'm drained &I can't let him down.

We are after work, boredom drinkers but every night boredom drinkers. What do we do?

Blue75:
I'm sorry, working from phone, not easily able to see what I'm typing but hope you understand what I was getting at.

mecch:
I am sorry you have to live with this big change and of course sorry you husband got HIV.

He's going to have it forever, .... until the cure....  You don't ever have to get it....  So get your safesex rules in order.  Which might even change eventually... when he is undetectable and for quite some time...   

Secondly get his access to care together...  That's the key to living well.  He'll need to see doctors regularly and take the treatment when its time.

Third, drinking every night sounds like a problem.  You are calling it boredom drinking but it sounds to me like you are both stressed out about the diagnosis and everything that comes with it, so maybe you might consider this drinking to be a stress reduction or evasion technique. Were you everynight "boredom drinkers" before diagnosis?  Its pretty common to be overloaded by a HIV diagnosis.   

You have a family, jobs (?), a full life - why are you bored every night?  Well, you'll have to find a way out of that every night activity because it sounds like a road to nowhere - both for your couple, for your health, and for your family.  If you think you are alcoholics, maybe get help with organisations that help people to stop drinking. 

If, instead, it is an anti-anxiety technique - escape route - then you and your husband should both be leaning ways to lesson anxiety about HIV.  IF you want to go the medication route, there are anti-anxiety medications better than a couple of cocktails everynight.  Also, coming to terms with diagnosis and also living in a serodiscordant couple is a way to lesson the anxiety or fear or shock, etc etc.

Even though he's positive you still have a long future together and every night is an opportunity to count your blessing and do something either comfy and ordinary and enjoyable.  Or, think of some new project to get invested on together.  A project about the future so you see its important not to get stuck worrying or longing for the past, which is over, or a present that is filled with a bit too many stresses.

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