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Author Topic: I can't live like this...  (Read 3346 times)

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Offline Hopedieslast

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I can't live like this...
« on: March 15, 2012, 07:12:26 PM »
I there, on october 28th 2011 I had sex with a HIV+ man who said he didn't have.
Im a male..

I saw his meds (kaletra+truvada) but I had no idea what those were for until I googled next day.

He gave me oral sex, we kissed a lot, he rimmed me (sorry for being so explicit), then he later fucked me WITH condom, he changed condom because he got soft and according to him they didn't break, but I don't believe anything he says now..

Im only 18, studying aboard and living alone...

I had bad dry cough 1 month after, I think I may have gotten herpes, not sure...

10 days after encounter I had a terrible headache and bad joint pains...

2 weeks ago I had a swollen lymph node in my groin left side that lasted like 2 weeks...

I have abdominal pain and pee alot...

I don't have the courage to get a test cause I have noone that can go with me, Ive been doing BAD at school because I cant concentrate... I promised to God that I would never have casual sex again... This have been some hard 4 months, crying almost everyday...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2012, 07:28:07 PM »
I there, on october 28th 2011 I had sex with a HIV+ man who said he didn't have.
Im a male..

I saw his meds (kaletra+truvada) but I had no idea what those were for until I googled next day.

He gave me oral sex, we kissed a lot, he rimmed me (sorry for being so explicit), then he later fucked me WITH condom, he changed condom because he got soft and according to him they didn't break, but I don't believe anything he says now..

Im only 18, studying aboard and living alone...

I had bad dry cough 1 month after, I think I may have gotten herpes, not sure...

10 days after encounter I had a terrible headache and bad joint pains...

2 weeks ago I had a swollen lymph node in my groin left side that lasted like 2 weeks...

I have abdominal pain and pee alot...

I don't have the courage to get a test cause I have noone that can go with me, Ive been doing BAD at school because I cant concentrate... I promised to God that I would never have casual sex again... This have been some hard 4 months, crying almost everyday...

Hope,

You can stop crying. Receiving oral, kissing and rimming are NOT risks for HIV transmission.

Protected anal sex is also NOT a risk for HIV transmission. HIV is a fragile virus, it is transmitted in very particular ways. Those ways are:

Unprotected vaginal and anal sex;
Sharing contaminated injecting equipment such as needles and syringes;
In some cases from HIV positive mother to her unborn or nursing infant.

You were not at risk for HIV transmission from this sexual encounter. You did the right thing, you used a condom for anal sex and so you needn't worry about this other fellow's HIV status.

If you are feeling sick, please see a doctor. The symptoms you report have nothing to do with HIV. Also, they don't have anything to do with herpes.

Given that you are sexually active you should be having a full sexual health screening at least once a year. Twice is better. If it's been a while since your last screening or if you've not had one before, you should visit your doctor or local clinic.

Think about having sexual health screenings as similar to getting your car serviced on regular basis. It's a good habit to get into but it doesn't mean there is anything wrong.

Please take the time to read our Welcome Thread. It contains links to our lessons on HIV transmission.

Most of all, keep using condoms whenever you have anal or vaginal sex. That way you can be sure that you will not contact HIV even if your sexual partners lie to you about their status.

MtD

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2012, 12:11:25 AM »
I've been thinking maybe the condom broke, he told me over the phone that he kept the condoms oncase I wanted to sue him...

That worries me alot, and I've had headaches, dry cough, that lymph node, I got some kind of acne on shoulders and chest and some pimples ( like 10 ) (without fluids) on my butt, the 10 days after exposure I had bad joint paints and I think fever (I had chilla and I wore a big jacket.. So there's no way I was cold but I still had chills)

I also had a pimple on my face... And lately i've had abdominal pains... Bad abdominal pains..

I think i've felt tired too (i've needed to sleep in the afternoon after arriving school)

Im very scared to get a test.. I dont know what I would do... I live very far away from my parents and I live alone..

Maybe the condom broke..

I told the guy I was going to get PEP, he said go for it, but I didnt have the courage to go to a clinic


And many headaches...

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2012, 12:30:13 AM »
I've been thinking maybe the condom broke, he told me over the phone that he kept the condoms oncase I wanted to sue him...

That worries me alot, and I've had headaches, dry cough, that lymph node, I got some kind of acne on shoulders and chest and some pimples ( like 10 ) (without fluids) on my butt, the 10 days after exposure I had bad joint paints and I think fever (I had chilla and I wore a big jacket.. So there's no way I was cold but I still had chills)

I also had a pimple on my face... And lately i've had abdominal pains... Bad abdominal pains..

I think i've felt tired too (i've needed to sleep in the afternoon after arriving school)

Im very scared to get a test.. I dont know what I would do... I live very far away from my parents and I live alone..

Maybe the condom broke..

I told the guy I was going to get PEP, he said go for it, but I didnt have the courage to go to a clinic


And many headaches...

Ok, let's assume the condom broke.

You were protected up until the condom broke and I don't think you will have contracted HIV as a result of this encounter but it does constitute a risk for HIV infection and you need to be tested. The window period for HIV antibody testing is 3 months. Most people who test positive do so within 4 weeks of being infected, the average is 22 days.

Since this sexual encounter occurred last October the window period has expired and you can test now to determine your HIV status.

So I encourage you to be tested for HIV. As soon as you can arrange it.

PEP is only effective within 72 hours of exposure so it is not an option in this case.

The symptoms you refer to are irrelevant. Pimples, tummy aches and chills are not specific to HIV. And the acute symptoms some people experience following infection occur in the two weeks following infection.

Most likely it is a combination of stress and seasonal colds that are making you ill. As I said before, if you feel ill please see a doctor.

We will not discuss symptoms with you any further.

HIV testing might be scary but undiagnosed HIV is scarier. If you're grown up enough to go out having sex, you're grown up enough to get an HIV test. So toughen up and do it.

But as I said, I think you will test negative.

MtD

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2012, 12:38:10 AM »
Not sure if this is relevant but he pulled out, jerked and cummed outside...

But then maybe there was precum...
« Last Edit: March 16, 2012, 12:42:27 AM by Hopedieslast »

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2012, 12:56:29 AM »
Not sure if this is relevant but he pulled out, jerked and cummed outside...

But then maybe there was precum...

That simply means the chances of you having been infected with HIV are even smaller.

In any event I have outlined both scenarios for you here. Either the condom didn't break in which case you were not at risk or it did and you were at risk and you need to be tested.

Even under the worst case scenario, you are very unlikely to have been infected and yes I am taking into account his being HIV positive.

So stop the hand wringing and arrange to be tested for HIV.

MtD

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2012, 01:14:27 AM »
What are my chancea of testing positive?
I prefer to go back to my country, donate blood and let my parents know that way..

I really havent been the same... I dont laugh anymore, i cant even smile..

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #7 on: March 16, 2012, 01:59:30 AM »
What are my chancea of testing positive?
I prefer to go back to my country, donate blood and let my parents know that way..

I really havent been the same... I dont laugh anymore, i cant even smile..

In my opinion the chances of you testing positive are very small.

Please don't using the blood collection system to test. That's a shitty thing to do.

Blood banks aren't the same as HIV testing services. They've got better things to do than weed people like you out of the system. Besides, a positive result from a blood collection service screening doesn't constitute a formal diagnosis anyway. In the unlikely circumstance you test positive they'll refer you to an HIV testing service.

Just see a doctor or a clinic and arrange a test that way.

You really are making way too much of a drama out of all this.

MtD

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #8 on: March 23, 2012, 07:04:15 PM »
You said ars symptoms appear 2 weeks after infection, I remember having BAD joint pain in arms and shoulders, aswell as BAD headache and chills...

4 months have passed and I've a really bad sore throat, hurts when swallowing, this last week...

I had those joint pains for 2-3 days exactly at the 14th day..

Ps: The Pope is visiting a city in the country im studying in, Im visiting him and I'll pray for a cure soon...


Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #9 on: March 23, 2012, 07:33:25 PM »
You said ars symptoms appear 2 weeks after infection, I remember having BAD joint pain in arms and shoulders, aswell as BAD headache and chills...

4 months have passed and I've a really bad sore throat, hurts when swallowing, this last week...

I had those joint pains for 2-3 days exactly at the 14th day..

Ps: The Pope is visiting a city in the country im studying in, Im visiting him and I'll pray for a cure soon...

The only way you will know if you are HIV positive is to be tested. Symptoms tell you nothing. All manner of things can cause joint pain and chills.

You are torturing yourself without good cause.

Give my regard to the Ratz. He owes me a beer.

MtD

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #10 on: March 31, 2012, 10:10:18 PM »
I'm on vacations with my family... Can't stop thinking about my risk as he DID have HIV...

I've had a sore throat for some 2-3 weeks now and developed fungi on my feet.. (just noticed today.. Yellow nail, smells bad)

I do know that means my body couldnt fight the fungi becayse of my weakened immune system.. So I got it..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #11 on: March 31, 2012, 10:28:36 PM »
Symptoms or lack of symptoms will not tell you anything about your status. The only way to know your status is by testing. You can obtain your conclusive negative result 3 months post exposure.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #12 on: March 31, 2012, 11:02:19 PM »
In re-reading your entries it seems dubious as to whether you actually had a risk at all. The guy was using condoms for anal intercourse. They provide very effective protection.

So this is really a big anxiety drama on your part with you misinterpreting everything you are calling another symptom of HIV ARS. And nothing you are reporting is in any way HIV specific.

You've got some time to wait until you can test. You can do it initially at 6 weeks. A negative at that point will strongly point the way to testing negative at 3 months. Make it easier on yourself and focus on other matters in your life. You'll be amazed at how much easier the waiting time will go. And please don't bother telling us you are too worried to do that. That kind of self-pity is not going to fly here.

Ultimately I expect you to come out of this ok. 
Andy Velez

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #13 on: March 31, 2012, 11:27:29 PM »

You've got some time to wait.

Really? This happened last october :s

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #14 on: April 01, 2012, 04:21:11 AM »
I considered PEP back then... Should I have gotten it?

Offline Ann

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #15 on: April 01, 2012, 05:03:32 AM »
Hope,

Hiv negative people get fungal nail infections all the time. It's not a sign of hiv infection.

They get sore throats all the time too - also not a sign of hiv infection.

No, you did NOT need PEP over this NO RISK situation.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

If the condoms had broken, you would have noticed. None of the other activities you engaged in were risks either.

If testing is the only thing that will allow you to get over this, then go test and collect your conclusive negative result. Unless you've been having unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse that you have not told us about, a negative result is what you will receive.

Get tested at the earliest opportunity - strictly for your peace of mind - and put this behind you and get on with your life. As this happened way back in October, your test will be conclusive.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!!

Make sure you read through the condom and lube links in my signature line. A correctly used condom rarely breaks. (And when a condom does break, it's VERY obvious.)

You did not have a risk and you only need to test to give you peace of mind so you can move on with your life. We fully expect you to test hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hopedieslast

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  • Posts: 10
Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #16 on: April 05, 2012, 12:10:01 AM »
I think the sore throat is caused by ulcers at the back of the tongue (I touched the ulcers with my fingers, they are way at the back of my tongue, can't see them..), I've NEVER had these before..and they do hurt..

I read that they are caused by a suppressed immune system..

Offline Ann

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #17 on: April 05, 2012, 05:43:05 AM »
Hope,

Stop fretting about why you have oral ulcers. There are many possible causes - but in your case, hiv isn't one of them as you had NO RISK. If the ulcers continue to bother you, see your doctor or dentist.

As I said to you before, if testing is the only thing that will convince you that you had NO RISK, go test and collect your conclusive negative result.

You will not be permitted to use this forum to air your worries about your sore throat. If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Hopedieslast

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #18 on: April 18, 2012, 02:09:17 AM »
I may have gotten it from some way I don't know how, he may have wanted to infect me on purpose so I didn't notice... I'm sorry about being back here again but I'm only 18 and I've never had so many oral issues... I got a tiny bump at the roof of my mouth..the back of my mouth isn't reddish pink as it should be, it's white and I see veins, roof my mouth has gotten a little yellow.. Not sure if it's the smoking but my friends who smoke don't have those..

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #19 on: April 18, 2012, 02:44:03 AM »
I may have gotten it from some way I don't know how, he may have wanted to infect me on purpose so I didn't notice... I'm sorry about being back here again but I'm only 18 and I've never had so many oral issues... I got a tiny bump at the roof of my mouth..the back of my mouth isn't reddish pink as it should be, it's white and I see veins, roof my mouth has gotten a little yellow.. Not sure if it's the smoking but my friends who smoke don't have those..

People who smoke get those ulcers and things. You have to know this. You are freaking out over NOTHING.

You had PROTECTED sex. Hell, even if you had unprotected sex, the guy is on MEDS for the virus. Transmission likelihood is remote even if he didn't use a condom - which he DID.

This has crossed the line of ridiculous and entered the realm of the offensive.

You think HIV positive people are monsters looking to hurt other people? Really? You've certainly been asking a lot of monsters for help on this forum.

I get it. You are 18. You are not a mature adult. You got in over your head sexually. That is not an excuse for being this way. Maybe what you need to rethink is your decision to have adult relations for which you are clearly unprepared emotionally.

Oh, and quit smoking. It will kill you. Also, it makes your breath gross and is very last century. You want to be cool? Try being self-possessed and smart. Witty is optional. Crazy is not.







You think
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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Re: I can't live like this...
« Reply #20 on: April 18, 2012, 06:07:39 AM »
Hope,

You've been repeatedly told that you did not have a risk and whatever is going on with your mouth has nothing to do with hiv. Go see a doctor or dentist about your mouth. Nobody can diagnose you over the internet.

You've also been repeatedly told to go test if you don't believe you have not been at risk. This happened back at the end of October - you could have had a test nearly three months ago and would have saved yourself all this extra worry. Go test, collect your negative result, and move on with your life.

As you have also been previously told, you will not be permitted to use this forum to wring your hands over your no risk incident and you will also not be permitted to use this forum to moan about your lack of balls where getting tested is concerned. Grow a pair and get tested so you can put this behind you.

I'm giving you that time out you've been warned about. Do not attempt to create a new account to get around your time out, you will be permanently banned.

And I promise you; if you come back after your time out with more of the same - and without having tested to put your mind at ease - you will be given another time out.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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