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Author Topic: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?  (Read 1779 times)

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Offline forrest

  • Member
  • Posts: 162
Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« on: March 13, 2012, 12:26:44 AM »
Hey guys

I was wondering if any of you have anyone that inspires you.  I mean... to your core... someone with HIV or maybe otherwise... when things are rough... when you are feeling down... when you are struggling with HIV... is there someone that you can genuinely say inspires you?  Inspires you to live? 

Thanks!
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2012, 01:56:58 AM »
I have used so many different folks for exactly that. And many of them are right here.

Ann - tempers a dominatrix's edge with the mother's instinct for gentle support. She has talked me down from more ledges than I think she knows.

Matty- puts into perspective that things are always some form of bullshit, if we are only able to see it that way. He knows volumes about HIV, AIDS, and many if not most other related medical conditions, and is not selfish with his remarkable knowledge. He has been my tether on occasions when I honestly thought I was going to melt completely away.

Newt - breaks it down to the science, and makes complex labs and tests understandable.

Mark - gives me an insight into the world of the ASO as it exists today, a world I left behind years ago (and am venturing back into) and reminds me that, illness notwithstanding, we all have really important things that we can accomplish. Lives, literally, that we can save. Including, and not incidentally, our own.

Betty- Who has shown me that bravery means not only facing your own demons, but facing those of others as well - and that even when the demons are stronger, a person's faith in humanity can endure. Whatever burnout is, she is the opposite of that.

And of course, the heroes who have passed, but whose lessons remain intact.

Moffie - who is the main reason I can brew homemade beer and not get sick, and who kicks me in the ass whenever I feel sorry for myself. And sometimes just when I am showing an ass that needs a kicking. My ability to feel sorry for myself for any extended period of time has been curtailed by that man. And he owes me a handmade leather holiday stocking, and I intend to collect.

Christina - who taught me that it is no shame to be happily, gratefully juvenile in a world replete with adult responsibilities and sensitivities.  Taught me that you don't HAVE to "find" your inner child if you never lose her. And that believing, even in short sustained bursts - in the magic - is not only OK ---- but vital.

Kate - who showed me that love burns more fiercely than anger, brighter than stardust. Who still teaches me, in the screensaver I still have of a penguin on an ice floe, that we are all adorably, awkwardly, inexorably wombling home. And that we have to believe in that home, and the real family we provide to inhabit it.

I am lucky as all shitfuck to have found these people. I am every day awed by their intellect, wisdom, vast memories, and deep love. They refuse to let me be bitter, cold, or lonely. I dare not feel those things because I have uncovered the parts of humanity that prove that those things are illusions, stupid busywork we delve into when we are afraid of the real lessons of love, forgiveness, insight and connection.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Torchwood

  • Member
  • Posts: 54
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2012, 08:24:54 AM »
My daughters inspire me.
Discovered 4/2006
VL: 1600
CD4: 1005
Started Complera 10/2011
VL: 48,500
CD4: 570
1/17/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 890
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 895
11/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1193
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1461
11/13
CD4: 1273
VL: Undetectable
5/14
CD4: 1788
VL: Undetectable

Offline forrest

  • Member
  • Posts: 162
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2012, 09:47:14 PM »
That is quite some nice things you've said jkinatl2!!  These folks should feel humbled by what you've said. Very cool.  I'm don't know anyone that well here yet, but that will come with time.

I asked this question because I find myself down a lot... I don't think i have come to terms with being HIV+ and feel quite heavy with all of this and have felt this way for nearly a year now.  It doesn't seem to be getting better. I am starting counseling and maybe that will help as well. 

But I was watching The Voice last night and a guy on there that made it another round has HIV and he seems so positive and full of life and that sparked the thought in my head. Just wondering if folks on here had others that inspired them so when things were dark and they were feeling really down... if there was someone they found inspiring.

Thanks!
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline forrest

  • Member
  • Posts: 162
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2012, 09:49:09 PM »
My daughters inspire me.

I wish I were so lucky. That's one of the things that makes me the most sad about this... that I realistically will probably never have kids now.  I know there is something called sperm washing... but realistically... I will probably never have kids and I would have been an effing awesome dad. It makes me sad.  Thankfully, you have kids that can inspire you  :)
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2012, 10:03:52 PM »
I wish I were so lucky. That's one of the things that makes me the most sad about this... that I realistically will probably never have kids now.  I know there is something called sperm washing... but realistically... I will probably never have kids and I would have been an effing awesome dad. It makes me sad.  Thankfully, you have kids that can inspire you  :)

There are a LOT of options for having kids besides sperm washing. I am not even sure how many people go that route anymore. If you want kids, it's more than possible. YOu could even adopt, of course :)

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline forrest

  • Member
  • Posts: 162
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2012, 10:14:10 PM »
YOu could even adopt, of course :)

Not to derail the original topic... but really?  I just read in some other thread how they were turned down to adopting because he was HIV+ ... oh, it was Torchwood... He ended up having three kids, right Torch, In Vitro. Anyway... yeah... and I am single right now and not getting any younger... will see. But thanks for commenting!  :)
2011-03-26:  Tested Positive

Date           |VL        |CD4 |4%  |CD8 |8%  |C4:C8
2011-04-06 |48,653 |603 |32.0 |646 |35.0 |0.61
2011-05-23 |64,324 |577 |36.0 |576 |36.0 |1.00
2011-08-02 |18,319 |574 |36.3 |587 |37.2 |0.98
2011-12-06 |10,375 |480 |30.1 |616 |38.7 |0.78
2012-02-22 |  9,674 |570 |33.6 |655 |38.7 |0.87
2012-05-04 |  8,439 |559 |30.4 |706 |38.4 |0.79

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,348
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2012, 10:30:15 PM »
Not to derail the original topic... but really?  I just read in some other thread how they were turned down to adopting because he was HIV+ ... oh, it was Torchwood... He ended up having three kids, right Torch, In Vitro. Anyway... yeah... and I am single right now and not getting any younger... will see. But thanks for commenting!  :)

HIV positive people can and do adopt.

Offline LM

  • Member
  • Posts: 409
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2012, 02:31:50 AM »
Don't give up having children, forrest! Too many bad people are having children while good people choose to have none. That's not good!

As for role models, I've always tried to inspire myself in great human beings in history. Their legacy is something I try to remember so that I can apply their lessons in my life.

But as for HIV, there are 3 people here that inspire me:

- Ann, for being... I don't know, like a mom. That's how I see her. Hope she doesn't get offended by that, because I think it's a great compliment. :D

- Newt, for amazing me with so much knowledge and wisdom.

- and Leatherman, for always showing a kind heart, despite all the hardships.

Many others as well over here are great people, but I haven't had the opportunity to know them better. But knowing these people exist, and that they have HIV just like me, makes me feel better and more hopeful. I've seen nasty people with HIV, so it's very important for me to know there are amazing people like them.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,681
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2012, 09:45:03 AM »


    I have too many on here to list   :)


     Jan is at the top of the list  ;)

     Magic Johnson is my inspiration  , of people i have not met .
     The day after I tryed to kill myself I saw Magic on the T.V.

       It was like GOD   put Magic there for me to see life could go on .

                                                   Weasel , Very grateful for many good inspirational  people in my life  :-*   
" Live and let Live "

Offline klipsch

  • Member
  • Posts: 90
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2012, 10:00:18 AM »
God

I've learned not to hang my hopes on people, because we are all human. People are undependable. God always has my back.

I've read a few books and have a great interest in different spiritual philosophy's. I don't follow any religion. One of the best things I've heard is "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Give him a religion and he'll starve to death praying for fish..."



 
when shit has value...the poor will be born without assholes...

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,704
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2012, 10:47:10 AM »
My dad like many dads was imperfect and screwed up some decisions and actions over the years. I think there were several years I really didn't like him much especially late teen years when he wasn't enthusiastic about my announced education and career goals.  Funny, I thought it was just me signaled out, but my sister told me last Christmas she got the same odd discouragement about following her dreams at the same age..

Well anyway, we all got over that issue as adults and then there were many more years before his death a couple of years ago.  And in total, I think he was truly upstanding, decade after decade - generous, hard working, serious, respectful, interesting to know and interested in others, open to change in ideas, etc etc.  He was a "good man and a good father"  (if not always I think a good husband.)

I had a few profs in HS and college too, who were inspirational both for how well they did their jobs, and because they were literally "inspirational" (some teachers are!) to inspire wonder about the domain they were teaching, or lead students (e.g. me)  to develop great skills.

The tables are turned now, and I don't have kids or a family to take care of.  I get positive energy, inspiration, and optimism from most of my college students so I guess you can say they inspire me to always be hopeful about humanity.  Its true they are "the best and the brightest".  It helps that swiss aren't particularly cynical or jaded or spoiled at college age, and also they are polite.

Other than that, i am inspired in specific areas by different people's specific achievements.   A year ago I was very inspired by Rachel Maddow's TV show, for example, which seemed like a new thing we hadn't seen before, and needed.

Also, anyone who is almost always cheerful and optimistic I find very admirable and inspiring.   I can think of a few colleagues and friends I have had over my lifetime who had this quality, and even one boyfriend!  Woke up everyday to sing happy tunes in the shower with great enthusiasm. 
« Last Edit: March 14, 2012, 10:49:38 AM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2012, 11:24:19 AM »
I don't believe in role models , you simple cannot put your faith in a person, cause they aren't perfect, and will always let you down, it's called human nature ::)

however people do inspire me that do good things
for AIDS, CANCER, and other diseases  :)

and lastly all LTS ( like myself inspire me the most) it takes GUTS to live w/ teh AIDS for more than 25 yrs.  and you all know who you are  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,665
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2012, 04:01:08 PM »
A Role Model?  Not really.  I think labels tend to confuse what we might find useful.  There are a lot of people, whom I have great respect for, however they are not me and I do not look to them to model my life.  What I have found instead, are people who lead by example and are generous and compassionate in how they conduct their lives.  They embody all that we, as a species, hope to be and they serve to ground us in the belief that hope will always remain.

The folks who have proven to be the most special to me, are those who taught me lessons that I never realized I needed to learn.

Joe

Offline drewm

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,111
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2012, 04:04:27 PM »
The folks who have proven to be the most special to me, are those who taught me lessons that I never realized I needed to learn.

Joe

Well said.
Diagnosed in  May of 2010 with teh AIDS.

PCP Pneumonia . CD4 8 . VL 500,000

ATRIPLA - VALTREX -  FLUOXETINE - FENOFIBRATE


Numbers consistent since 12/2010 - VL has remained undetectable and CD4 is anywhere from 275-325

Offline BT65

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  • Member
  • Posts: 9,945
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2012, 04:34:35 PM »
That is quite some nice things you've said jkinatl2!!  These folks should feel humbled by what you've said.

Believe me, I do feel humbled.  Coming from JK, it's a huge ego-booster.  Thanks sweets, you inspire me also. 

There are others also, and they know who they are.  They always come through for me and have lifted me many, many times.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline karry

  • Member
  • Posts: 271
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2012, 08:00:26 PM »


But I was watching The Voice last night and a guy on there that made it another round has HIV and he seems so positive and full of life and that sparked the thought in my head. Just wondering if folks on here had others that inspired them so when things were dark and they were feeling really down... if there was someone they found inspiring.

Thanks!

I cried when I watched Jamar Rogers perform on the voice! He is indeed an inspiration.

I have a friend who has lived with cancer for 15 years. She is also handicapped. She is so full of life! She was one of the first people I told about my diagnosis....and she made me look at her life, her ability to live every moment fully..and her acceptance of herself. She is my inspiration.
K.
Take it a day at a time....and be positive about it too!

Offline Torchwood

  • Member
  • Posts: 54
Re: Who inspires you? Do you have a role model?
« Reply #17 on: March 15, 2012, 09:22:43 AM »
I wish I were so lucky. That's one of the things that makes me the most sad about this... that I realistically will probably never have kids now.  I know there is something called sperm washing... but realistically... I will probably never have kids and I would have been an effing awesome dad. It makes me sad.  Thankfully, you have kids that can inspire you  :)

We did the sperm washing. Worked great, wife and kids are negative.
Discovered 4/2006
VL: 1600
CD4: 1005
Started Complera 10/2011
VL: 48,500
CD4: 570
1/17/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 890
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 895
11/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1193
4/12
VL: Undetectable
CD4: 1461
11/13
CD4: 1273
VL: Undetectable
5/14
CD4: 1788
VL: Undetectable

 


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