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Author Topic: My absence  (Read 2639 times)

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Offline DingoBoi

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,355
  • Bailey's Infected Creamô Served since 2004
My absence
« on: September 25, 2006, 10:58:57 PM »
i haven't been very active here on the forums, nor have I posted in my blog... I'm in the throws of excommunicating sustiva from me... okay... that worked for a month or so... now i'm just scared to post.

I've been bad in the past and need to take a little break from here... at least from being 'nasty' in the mods opinions.. even if they did deserve it.

I feel like i sometimes in the past have let my life revolve around this website.. and for a while it was all I had.

I do cherish this site, but I no longer feel I NEED it like i did before.

I just don't.

It's not that I don't come here daily.  I do.  I read most of all threads.  I just can't/won't participate in most anymore for my betterment.  It's not that I'm ignoring people... I just need to settle myself more.

You all have helped me get where I am after 2 years in... and I love you for that.

I still have my bad days and my good days.  But it's looking up as I met someone special in Montreal! 

Offline Cliff

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,645
Re: My absence
« Reply #1 on: September 25, 2006, 11:05:27 PM »
Hey Bailey

Best wishes to you and Shane. 

You bring up a good point here and something others also wrestle with....

Quote
I feel like i sometimes in the past have let my life revolve around this website.. and for a while it was all I had.

I do cherish this site, but I no longer feel I NEED it like i did before.

Anyways, I wish you well.

Cliff

Offline Terry

  • Member
  • Posts: 339
  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: My absence
« Reply #2 on: September 25, 2006, 11:27:18 PM »

Iíll settle for no less than open and honest heart felt apology.

In my opinion, you have thrown your bile at me and many others here in this forum way too often for my comfort. And for no other reason than to feed your own selfish,  simple minded ego.

Your a hateful, drug/alcohol dependant egotistical ASS!

Youíre also A-Moral.

And in no way do you represent me or my lifestyle.  (Gay man) Not here or anywhere else that your identified as gay person.

Shame on you for being so hurtful to so many nice people.



Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: My absence
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2006, 11:39:36 PM »


  Rut roe.....  Why can't we all just live in one big house and wake up eating ego waffles every morning. 

  Ok folks place your bets which will be the first   moderator to step in?

  This sounds like a job for Andy Velez
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline Sky

  • Member
  • Posts: 225
    • Myspace
Re: My absence
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2006, 11:47:40 PM »
Bailey, I know it probably feels weird not "needing" this site as much as you used to, and that actually a very good thing.  You've come out of the growing pains of HIV and shared much of that transition with everyone in your blog.  I wish you and Shane the best!!!  You guys deserve it  :)
Poz since 2003.

Offline Iggy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,435
Re: My absence
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2006, 11:49:09 PM »
.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2007, 08:55:48 PM by Iggy »

Offline alive2

  • Member
  • Posts: 78
  • i guess im having a good day
Re: My absence
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2006, 11:52:29 PM »
thats good,you feel you have gotten to the point of not needing to rely on the site daily for inspiration or venting,this means your gaining control of things,thats the whole point of everything im here for,the advice,and help in realizing i dont need to depend so much on this as my only outlet,now im getting healthy enough to get out there and continue to trudge along in life with everyone else,but do stay i touch.some of the things you experience in life may be vital to give hope to others who were where you once were,good luck and take care

Offline Tim Horn

  • Member
  • Posts: 799
Re: My absence
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2006, 07:04:11 AM »
Terry and Tom --

Neither of your responses are at all helpful to anything remotely constructive in the Forums.  In light of everything that has gone down in the Forums over the past month since AMG, I would sincerely hope that those who were witness to the pot boiling over would understand the importance of thinking about what they really want to say before they say it. 

Terry, was it really necessary to say half the things you wrote in your response to Bailey?  For all of Bailey's bile that you say you've been subjected to, you seem to have a lot of your own to spew as well.  You easily could have responded strongly to Bailey without making so many of the nasty comments you did. 

Tom, this is hardly the first time you've posted passive-aggressive responses to messages posted by others.  Your baiting Moffie with sugar-coated barbs wasn't lost on the moderators and your fanning the flames here isn't either. 

With this said -- and perhaps against my better judgement -- I'm going to leave this thread open. 

Tim Horn

Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,394
  • 29 years positive, 57 years a pain in the butt
Re: My absence
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2006, 09:55:31 AM »
Hey Bailey,

I understand. We all grow, learn and become more the better for it.

I will carry fond memories of Montreal with me for the rest of my days and I am delighted that something special may be growing in your life, in both of your lives.

Just don't disappear altogether.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline Basquo

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,254
Re: My absence
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2006, 10:04:14 AM »
I agree with Mark, DO NOT DISAPPEAR!! I would hate to have to send Cora the bloodcat to sniff you out, though she has been hinting about a trip to Disney.

Offline Terry

  • Member
  • Posts: 339
  • 7/13/82 Infected
Re: My absence
« Reply #10 on: September 26, 2006, 12:12:11 PM »
 

Terry, was it really necessary to say half the things you wrote in your response to Bailey?  For all of Bailey's bile that you say you've been subjected to, you seem to have a lot of your own to spew as well.  You easily could have responded strongly to Bailey without making so many of the nasty comments you did. 


Tim,

Yes, I felt it was necessary for me to speak at level that would be understood.

However, Your point is well taken. My apologies if I have caused you or anyone else undue stress.




Dan J.

  • Guest
Re: My absence
« Reply #11 on: September 26, 2006, 02:55:04 PM »
Bailey,

Good luck in everything that comes your way in life.  I truly hope you and Shane will be happy together.

It would be selfish of me to tell you I don't want you to go, but I understand where you coming from.

Please check in from time to time to let us know how you are.

Always,

Dan J. :-*

Offline lydgate

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,022
  • Virgin, can't drive
Re: My absence
« Reply #12 on: September 26, 2006, 04:23:40 PM »
I understand the point about not "needing" this site as much now as in the past. Over the summer, I was on here for hours every day, reading posts, writing as many as 15 posts a day. I was broke, feeling blue, my hand was fractured, my apartment was hotter than a sauna, my friends were all out of town... and AMeds was simply wonderful, by simply being there, for me and for so many others. Now, I'm crazy-busy with school, and HIV seems to have become part of the "normal" background noise of my life. I still log on a couple of times a day, but with less of the I'm-addicted-to-this-space feeling.

Good luck, Bailey, with everything.

Jay
Her finely-touched spirit had still its fine issues, though they were not widely visible. Her full nature, like that river of which Cyrus broke the strength, spent itself in channels which had no great name on the earth. But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.

George Eliot, Middlemarch, final paragraph

Offline water duck

  • Member
  • Posts: 397
Re: My absence
« Reply #13 on: September 26, 2006, 05:03:21 PM »
Bailey,

What you did, need alot of courage, therefore you merit my admiration. Ofcourse, you had in that same process  give courage to other ; for them to bring out their 'anger' ; i am hoping that you have enough courage left over , to take all these with good graces. When i was i denial for the first two years, i had became aggressive towards close friends,( guess subconscious i thought i could get away with it ), without myself knowing it, till one day , the wife pulled me aside and told me , why am being so aggressive to the husband, i stopped dead in my tracks and reviewed everything. She was actually the first person i disclose to.

Having said this, i wished that those who are reading this and had been offended by you in more ways than one ; would or could find the understanding within themselves to forgive you.

Now that you had found love, give it a chance, let it in , help you heal , so tomorrow you will be a stronger and better YOU.

good luck.

Siang

Offline newt

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,878
  • the one and original newt
Re: My absence
« Reply #14 on: September 26, 2006, 05:04:35 PM »
Life is not on the screen  ;)

- matt
« Last Edit: September 26, 2006, 05:45:11 PM by newt »
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline Longislander

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,486
Re: My absence
« Reply #15 on: September 26, 2006, 06:45:52 PM »
We all have different personalities, and can't always get along with everyone.  That's what makes this lilttle group real, not some fairytale-land. Respect needs to be shown by all.

Take a little break, but come back in and listen, and perhaps help us out every now and again.

Good luck with the boy. ;)
infected 10/05 diagnosed 12-05
2/06   379/57000                    6/07 372/30500 25%   4/09 640/U/32% 
5/06   ?? /37000                     8/07 491/55000/24%    9/09 913/U/39%
8/06   349/9500 25%              11/07 515/68000/24     2/10 845/U/38%
9/06   507/16,000 30% !          2/08  516/116k/22%    7/10 906/80/39%
12/06 398/29000 26%             Start Atripla 3/08
3/07   402/80,000 29%            4/08  485/undet!/27
4/07   507/35,000 25%            7/08 625/UD/34%
                                                 11/08 684/U/36%

Offline anniebc

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,939
  • AM member since 2003
Re: My absence
« Reply #16 on: September 26, 2006, 07:18:25 PM »
 :-* :-*..for two wonderful young men who have found something special.

Browsing is good, means you still care about us, and if I know you then that will never change... come back when you are ready..no need to rush.


Hugs to you
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Eldon

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,664
Re: My absence
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2006, 07:30:48 PM »
Hey Bailey,

I wish the BEST for you and Shane.




Make the BEST of each Day!

Offline DingoBoi

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,355
  • Bailey's Infected Creamô Served since 2004
Re: My absence
« Reply #18 on: September 26, 2006, 08:23:02 PM »
eep, I didn't mean that I'm going away.  I'm not.   Just that my reduced participation here has some reasons behind it.   I'll still be posting pretty much at the level i am now, but don't often in the living with forum particularly.   I've received a couple pm's about it from some and just wanted to clear that up.. i suppose the title wasn't particularly accurate because I'm not taking a break... just getting outside and doing things more often, or even staying home and playing more with puppy.

And I didn't mean to seem that I don't need this forum.  I do, just not for the same reasons as before.


Tim, your instinct was right.  You should trust them.  You probably should lock this after this post.

As for Terry,

I owe apologies to lots of people on these forums, but I can't fathom why I would owe you one.  I went back and read all the posts in this forum and we've barely interacted.   If I had a good fight with you, I'd remember it and the interaction we did have was rather non-eventful.

For the record, I don't do drugs.  I do drink alcohol.  PS:  I'm told I do have a great ass!

You say I'm amoral and for clarity purposes I'll post the definition
Quote
having no moral standards, restraints, or principles; unaware of or indifferent to questions of right or wrong: a completely amoral person.

I have a quite strong moral code, I do have restraints (leashes and such :P) and strong principals which I've voiced my opinions about many times.   Perhaps you missed all that whiile sitting alone.

Now, do our moral standards concur.  Hell no... and I wouldn't want them to.   I don't have a problem with you being a 22+ year celibate for reasons of your own choosing.  At least I don't loathe myself for being who I am.

And that's the crux of the issue I think.  It's okay to be gay as long as it meets your exact definitions and standards and morals without being effeminate, flamboyant and, in my opinion, frankly having a bit of fun once in a while.  I'm glad I don't represent you because I think yours are pretty well arsed.

The difference is, I can let you be who you want to be.   I don't understand why you can't do the same.









« Last Edit: September 26, 2006, 08:53:44 PM by DingoBoi »

 


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