Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
July 29, 2014, 09:49:41 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 632317
  • Total Topics: 47881
  • Online Today: 298
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question  (Read 5557 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline robinhunter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« on: February 28, 2012, 06:23:50 AM »
Hi im hoping that perhaps i can put this oral sex issue to rest once and for all..my girlfriend has a viral load of over 200,000 and a cd4 of 740 or so per her last results on feb 18 2012.I have several times performed unprotected oral sex on her as well as her on me... im a male in case you were wondering.....o.k so here is my question ..[that im sure you have heard a million times]... during our intimate time i perform oral sex unprotected on her for long lenths of time...i come in contact with and im sure ingest plenty of her vaginal fluid....please undrstand im not freaking out im not pacing back in fourth getting ready to jump off a building... truth is ... we are very serious and are planning our lives together... im 41 she is 33 ...and i have to say that this part of our intimacy together ... the [oral] part is very important to her ... and ... well ... i like doing it for her.... so... strait up ... can i keep going down on my girlfriend without the worry of infection ... i know her viral load is a little high ... not sure that matters but were working on that... :).. and btw ... we have protected intercourse ...so any help you can give to clear this up would be great.... and i hope the answer you give is what i already think....thank you

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,203
  • Ninja Please
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #1 on: February 28, 2012, 06:26:06 AM »
This thread might be better posted in our Someone I Care About Has HIV forum where you will get more responses from more members.

I'm sure one of our moderators will move it for you Robin.

Cheers,

MtD

Offline robinhunter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #2 on: February 28, 2012, 06:32:53 AM »
Thank you ... this web site is great i see its going to be very helpful for us ..i plan on doing alot of research on what i can do to help her improve ... health wise both physical and mental she is a great woman .... and of course our sex life is ... well important too.... we have a great one btw...but being educated on both our behalfs just makes it better if the stress of issues like this can be put to rest

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,203
  • Ninja Please
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2012, 06:37:41 AM »
Thank you ... this web site is great i see its going to be very helpful for us ..i plan on doing alot of research on what i can do to help her improve ... health wise both physical and mental she is a great woman .... and of course our sex life is ... well important too.... we have a great one btw...but being educated on both our behalfs just makes it better if the stress of issues like this can be put to rest

I've flagged this thread for moderator review. In the meantime you might like to take a squizz at our Lessons section (if you've not already) which has lots of useful information about how HIV is and is not transmitted.

I will say that HIV is certainly not transmitted by performing oral sex on a woman. It's unprotected anal and vaginal sex that is the problem.

MtD

Offline robinhunter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #4 on: February 28, 2012, 06:43:13 AM »
Thank you so much i do look forward to learning all i can about this ....nutrition and her well being is a big focus of mine..so i will certainly be spending some time on this site...ty

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #5 on: February 28, 2012, 06:53:35 AM »
Hi Robin, welcome to the forums.

I moved your thread for you. :)

Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection. Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies** started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

**There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

I also have personal experience with this. I was in a serodiscordant relationship for around eight years. I always had a detectable viral load as I was not (and am not yet) on meds. We had a full sex life and the only thing we did to protect his negative status was to use condoms for intercourse. That's it, that's all you need. He remained hiv negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,761
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #6 on: February 28, 2012, 08:11:28 AM »
Damn Ann, awesome response!
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline robinhunter

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #7 on: February 28, 2012, 06:25:53 PM »
Thank you matty and ann .... you both are great and your patience and knowledge on this topic is very appreciated ... thank you for your time and imput...  :)

Offline Matty the Damned

  • Member
  • Posts: 12,203
  • Ninja Please
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #8 on: February 28, 2012, 09:52:43 PM »
Thank you matty and ann .... you both are great and your patience and knowledge on this topic is very appreciated ... thank you for your time and imput...  :)

We're glad we could help. Feel free to pop in whenever you need.

Best regards,

MtD

Offline mpositive

  • Member
  • Posts: 297
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #9 on: July 18, 2012, 07:10:51 AM »
Wow Ann, I just read your reply here and I gotta tell you, it should probably be made into a Sticky. 
Very informative.
Thanks :) :)

Offline Rockin

  • Member
  • Posts: 491
Re: hiv pos girlfriend ....im hiv neg.....intimacy question
« Reply #10 on: July 18, 2012, 05:49:58 PM »
Ann Ann do the same for male-on-male oral sex as well!!  :P

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.