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Author Topic: Do you have a gay doctor?  (Read 5168 times)

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Offline LiveWithIt

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Do you have a gay doctor?
« on: February 14, 2012, 10:05:50 PM »
I don't know of any, but I was on a cruise a few years ago and there was a gay doctor of infectious diseases.  Right now I am pretty happy with my doctor, although she did make me wait almost an hour Monday for my appointment.  But she's usually very good and I've been able to walk in at times without an appointment when I had a problem and she's seen me.  I would think having a gay doctor would be easier to talk to them about certain things gay related, or gay sex related. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline surf18

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #1 on: February 14, 2012, 10:14:45 PM »
I don't have a gay doctor, though I have often thought it would be great to have one. More understanding of the issues.

Online mikeyb39

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #2 on: February 14, 2012, 10:47:39 PM »
I have a gay HIV doc, but he has been my doc pre-diagnosis, been seeing him for about 15yrs.  i can't imagine going to 'regular' doctor.  i feel like i can talk to my doc about anything, plus he has worked with HIV issues since the 80's so i feel pretty confident. For me, its just nice to have a gay doctor because I feel i have something in common and can talk more freely about gay issues etc.
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Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #3 on: February 14, 2012, 10:58:13 PM »
I have a little bump under my nose and the doctor thought I should have a dermatologist look at it and I fessed up and I told her it was from using poppers and she didn't even know what they were.  So she asked and I told her they were amyl nitrate, but then I remembered that the new ones are butyl nitrates.  Plus when I've gotten an STD she tells me to use a condom for sex, maybe they have to say that.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #4 on: February 15, 2012, 12:34:59 AM »
I have a little bump under my nose and the doctor thought I should have a dermatologist look at it and I fessed up and I told her it was from using poppers and she didn't even know what they were.

Your doctor's unfamiliarity aside, perhaps this is a sign that you need to lay off the poppers for a while. 

Quote
Plus when I've gotten an STD she tells me to use a condom for sex, maybe they have to say that.

What else would you expect her to say?  Condoms do prevent the transmission of STDs.

All this being said, I do have a gay doctor, who I like very much.  However, I didn't know he was gay before I went to see him -- it was just serendipity.  I do appreciate that I could feel more comfortable discussing issues related to my sexual health with him.  He always asks me if I've been sexually active, so that he can test for STDs.  One of these years I actually hope to be able to say "yes" (to the part about being sexually active, not the STDs).

About 20 years ago, when I was first looking for a doctor here in Austin, I went to a gay doctor who was basically a big prick.   Two visits and I never went back.  For years I saw a straight doctor whom I also thought was very knowledgeable, and I felt comfortable talking to.   Just because a physician is gay doesn't necessarily mean he is good.

Regards,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline leatherman

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #5 on: February 15, 2012, 06:49:53 AM »
He always asks me if I've been sexually active, so that he can test for STDs.  One of these years I actually hope to be able to say "yes" (to the part about being sexually active, not the STDs).
I found that out the hard way the last time I had a physical. LOL I was just about to leave the office when the physican's assistance remembered to ask this. Since I had just started into a relationship, I proudly got to answer "yes". She replied, "drop your pants" and whipped out a very long q-tip. owie! Next time I think I'll say "no". LOL

The PA that I see most of the time is a lesbian about the same age as myself. I figure she's heard it all by now, plus she's seen my junk several times, so my "doctor visits" are very comfortable and there's nothing she and I don't talk about. Now the ID doctor himself wears the tightest slacks and has the hottest ass. I really wish he was gay - sigh.  ;D LOL

I guess what it comes down to is not neccesarily having a doctor that is gay; but a doc that has had experience. As my doc and his PA have been treating nothing but HIV clients for 20+ years, there's not much they haven't heard about or already treated or seen! LOL
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

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Offline wolfter

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #6 on: February 15, 2012, 07:53:26 AM »
I have a gay doctor and a gay dentist.  It wasn't a deciding factor but I do feel more comfortable that they understand my lifestyle. 

My ID doctor is my age and decided to on this field of medicine because he also witnessed the death and destruction amongst his friends in the gay community.  I admire that and have the utmost respect for him.  But more importantly, he is a great doctor.  I am never left waiting for appointments and am never rushed through my appointments. 

We are even FB friends and I got an invite to his upcoming civil ceremony to his partner. 

Wolfie
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #7 on: February 15, 2012, 11:21:33 AM »
My previous doctor before I moved was very good and very nice.  He always engaged me in personal conversation for a few minutes.  He knew where I was working and used their services so we talked about it.  He was straight and divorced and remarried and had kids.  We never spoke of his personal life but somehow I gathered this speaking with him and his head research nurse, who was amazingly sweet and helpful, but later left to work for  a pharmaceutical company.  He was cute in a non traditional way.  He was 40ish and was balding in a horseshoe patter and had a mustache, which I don't like, but he was so nice and in a position of power and it made me have a little crush on him.  I was also not very sexually active for a few years so there were no special tests to do, but he seemed pretty cool with everything.  You should kind of have to be to be an ID doctor.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline SANJUANDUDE

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #8 on: February 15, 2012, 02:12:13 PM »
Once I had a gay doctor, but I didn't care for him.  due to the excessive moving that my partner and I have done around the country, we have gone through quite a few doctors. 

« Last Edit: February 15, 2012, 02:35:11 PM by SANJUANDUDE »
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Offline Ann

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2012, 09:52:43 AM »

Right now I am pretty happy with my doctor, although she did make me wait almost an hour Monday for my appointment.  But she's usually very good and I've been able to walk in at times without an appointment when I had a problem and she's seen me.


I sometimes have to wait a while for my appointment too, but I don't usually mind. I know that if someone came in before me, without an appointment but with something urgent, they'd be seen before me and make my appointment late. But I know if I were the patient who got in without an appointment due to something serious, I'd be grateful I could do that.

It can also mean that someone with an appointment before me is very newly diagnosed and needs a little extra hand-holding. One time early on in my own diagnosis, I turned up with my 14 y/o daughter. I wanted her to see what the clinic was like and what went on there, so she wasn't sitting in school on my appointment days worrying and wondering what was going on.

As soon as my doctor saw her with me, he invited her in with us and took his time answering any questions she had and talking with her. We were in there over an hour, even though this had not been allowed for in the schedule that day. I wasn't expecting such great service and it made me very happy that he cared enough about me and my family to take the time.

So when I find myself getting a bit antsy in the waiting room when my appointment gets delayed, I remind myself that perhaps someone else really needs that extra time. I know the extra time is always afforded to me when I need it. :)
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

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Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2012, 11:30:47 AM »
I sometimes have to wait a while for my appointment too, but I don't usually mind. I know that if someone came in before me, without an appointment but with something urgent, they'd be seen before me and make my appointment late. But I know if I were the patient who got in without an appointment due to something serious, I'd be grateful I could do that.

It can also mean that someone with an appointment before me is very newly diagnosed and needs a little extra hand-holding. One time early on in my own diagnosis, I turned up with my 14 y/o daughter. I wanted her to see what the clinic was like and what went on there, so she wasn't sitting in school on my appointment days worrying and wondering what was going on.

As soon as my doctor saw her with me, he invited her in with us and took his time answering any questions she had and talking with her. We were in there over an hour, even though this had not been allowed for in the schedule that day. I wasn't expecting such great service and it made me very happy that he cared enough about me and my family to take the time.

So when I find myself getting a bit antsy in the waiting room when my appointment gets delayed, I remind myself that perhaps someone else really needs that extra time. I know the extra time is always afforded to me when I need it. :)

If I knew she was with other patients or doing something important I wouldn't mind.  There was one patient in the other exam room and he was done and I had to wait another 30 minutes on that uncomfortable exam table.  My previous doctor. before I move would sometimes come in late and the staff would apologize because he had been held up at the hospital.  That I didn't mind as much.  If he was in a hurry and I was just there for a follow up, which is usually the case, every 3 months or so I don't mind if he just got to business and gave me my lab results and prescriptions and moved on.   

About 45 minutes into the wait the nurse came back to get something and I asked her how long, and she said I was next.  When you don't know what the doctor is doing you just think they keep you waiting for kicks, and because they are not backed up with patients.  Maybe she heard when I said that the billing girl basically told me that she didn't care about the lab bloodwork test bill that I got in error and that she basically said they only care about money that was due to them. 

I was so upset about the wait I was tempted to cancel.   I was just going up for a follow up and just needed my lab results from the previous test.  I'm glad I didn't say anything to the doctor about the wait, it really is rude to keep someone waiting that long, I don't care who you think you are, or who is waiting.   This is why I try to never get to a doctor's office more than 5 minutes before the appointment. 
« Last Edit: February 16, 2012, 11:32:57 AM by LiveWithIt »
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline buginme2

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2012, 11:34:11 AM »
I routinely have to wait, and an hour isnt out of the ordinary.

"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

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Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2012, 05:08:59 PM »
Given the times I have had to show up at the doctor with a serious issue, and have been allowed to cut in line, I have no issues whatsoever waiting an hour or so if need be.

You'll get your turn to do the same, at some point or another. And you will be grateful not to have to go to the ER (where I waited for five hours, struggling to breathe with PCP a few years back).

As far as a gay doctor, I've had them. One asked me out, which seemed a bit inappropriate.

Beyond the notion of where your medical professional puts his or her junk, the most important thing is to find a good fit. Not all gay doctors are good doctors. Not all straight doctors are judgy 'phobes.

My favorite doctor was a straight guy who was as much of a research and science geek as I am, and to whom I told to basically check me for every STD every time I go in, because I know for a fact that an undiagnosed STD can wreak havoc on someone with HIV/AIDS. Think talking about giving blowjobs is embarrassing? Try wearing a portable penicillin IV fanny pack to the grocery store when you are being treated for neurosyphilis. THAT is embarrassing. That and the permanent hearing loss and cognitive issues.

Sadly, that doctor left the practice to go into (shock) research. Now I have a PA who is absolutely adequate so long as nothing serious happens. In short, I'm on my own.

You need a doctor with whom you can be honest, forthright. A doctor who is accessible and informed.

Maybe that will be with a gay doctor. Or a female doctor. I wish there was an easy algorithm to figure out who is the best fit for you. Sharing a sexual orientation does not necessarily make for a better fit. My absolute WORST doctor was a gay guy. He was a real insensitive bitch who, when I came in showing classic symptoms of Sustiva-related suicidal ideations, decided to throw a pile of Welbutrin at me and send me home. Notwithstanding I had preexisting anxiety issues. I nearly killed myself thanks to his dismissal.

It is a struggle to find the right doctor. In many ways it will be the most important relationship you will have in your life.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2012, 05:30:35 PM »
My doctor is gay. I didn't choose him because he is gay but because my ID doctor at the time recommended him as a PCP who was up on HIV. I found out he was gay later. I suppose having a gay doctor is a plus but I can talk to doctors about sex regardless of their sexual orientation.

I can only think of one doctor who didn't react well to my honesty. I was in a clinical trial at Wake Forest and in the process of doing an assessment a doctor asked me my number of sexual partners. I asked over what period of time and he said lifetime. I said I really had no idea and he said "five, ten?" I said "no, more like 50." He had this look of total disgust. I told him quite calmly that among my friends my number would be considered low and if he was going to work with this population and wanted people to be honest he needed to change his attitude. He left the room and had someone else complete the assessment.

I had a gay dentist once, a petite Asian man who used to tell me about going to leather parties, dirty jokes, etc while I was in the chair. Having a dentist who makes you laugh while he has a drill in your molar is not a good thing!

Offline denb45

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #14 on: February 16, 2012, 05:57:32 PM »
I had a Black Gay ID-Doc way back in 97 to 99 in Sacramento, Ca @ Kaiser South, nice guy, we used to talk about each others hubby's and snicker about all the details on a good day, ( if he wasn't too busy)  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #15 on: February 16, 2012, 06:04:06 PM »
BTW, I don't find the prostate exam any less awkward with a gay doctor.

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #16 on: February 16, 2012, 08:20:32 PM »

I can only think of one doctor who didn't react well to my honesty.

If I was asked my number of lifetime partners I would say too many to count.  I've been a bad boy at certain times in my life.

I only had one bad interaction with a doctor and it was at the ER of a Catholic hospital.  Here is south Florida I've never seen so many hospitals.  Where I grew up in the northeast they have been closing them down for many years.  One major city that had 3 only has one, It has a Catholic name but it's basically a general hospital. 

Anyway I went to the hospital thinking I had a tear from some sex I had with a  guy with a  huge member.  The nurse was not shocked, and she was professional and she took me into the ER and I was seen by a doctor right away.   I didn't have bleeding, it was mostly discomfort.  The doctor didn't touch me or even examine my anus.  I ended up going to a doctor who ordered a colonoscopy and everything was fine.   Turns out the pain was probably just discomfort from the sex and it turned out that I had chlamydia and it was treated with antibiotics and I was fine.  And when the ER doctor said I could go, I just left, the nurse had rushed me in so quickly that she didn't even ask for my ID or take my info, I think she just had my name.  I had insurance, but I said F it, if this is how I am treated they can figure out how to bill me later. 
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #17 on: February 17, 2012, 06:09:58 AM »
Yes
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline Theyer

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #18 on: February 17, 2012, 06:12:55 AM »
BTW, I don't find the prostate exam any less awkward with a gay doctor.

Completely agree
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline aztecan

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #19 on: February 17, 2012, 10:41:51 AM »
I've never had a gay doctor, but I have had some good ones.

Sometimes, our likes or dislikes have little to do with the doctors from which we can choose.

I had a doctor I really liked. She was the doctor who got me started on meds, was very caring and supportive, knowlegeable, and easy to confide in.

Then, my employer changed insurance, and I was forced to find another doctor. I had no choice, but that is the shape of health care in the U.S.

Mind you, at the time, the doctor was not local. It was a three-hour drive to see her, usually an hour or more wait in the waitiing room, then a three-hour drive home again.

Ah, the good old days.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline sevillano

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #20 on: February 17, 2012, 12:49:17 PM »
I do have a gay doctor and he NEVER makes me wait :D in fact, being from such a small country as Slovenia (pop 2mio) means that everyone knows everybody, ergo it is not really comfortable to sit in the hall of THAT part in the clinic (STD sector), so my doc makes everything possible that appointments for hivers start at hour (punctualy). Yeah, I already met some acquintances there, so there is no doubt, they are in the same club (most probably, specially if I see the same person more than once) - news spread around faster than you think.

Firstly he was all shy and used to pretend not being gay (even if he is probably just 28yrs or maybe 30yrs) but we soon realized there was no point of playing hide and seek game :D we have some friends in common so... I found him when he was still playing "the hide" part :D
« Last Edit: February 17, 2012, 05:57:50 PM by sevillano »
----------------------------------------
dec 2010       - tested neg
22.01.2011    - infection
10.02.2011    - tested poz (test of 4th generation)
18.02.2011    - ELISA test poz
                    - VL: 5 mio
                    - CD4: 421 (19 %)
                    - CD3: 1709 (78%)
                    - CD8: 1267 (58%)
may 2011 - CD4: 428 (21%)
                  VL: 250 000
august 2011 - CD4: 398 (24%)
                      VL: 50 000
november 2011 - CD4: 320 (24%)
                           VL: 134 000
09.12.2011 - CD4: 284 (26%)
16.12.2011 - started TRUVADA/REYATAZ/NORVIR
16.3.2012 - CD4: 373 (25%), VL: 459

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #21 on: February 17, 2012, 04:26:44 PM »

Mind you, at the time, the doctor was not local. It was a three-hour drive to see her, usually an hour or more wait in the waitiing room, then a three-hour drive home again.

Ah, the good old days.

HUGS,

Mark

I can't imagine a doctor good enough for me to drive 7 hours round trip each visit.   I would put my limit at about 45 minutes away.  It takes 30 minutes to get anywhere where I live due to traffic.
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline eric48

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #22 on: February 17, 2012, 07:10:47 PM »
My doc is openly gay and active in the local community and highly reputated

I have no problem with him being gay, but, I have considered changing doc, nonetheless...

Why ? because I found myself going to the doc as exited as if I were going on a date ;-)

He is real nice, but nice to every patient. and , hum... Well... how to say ...?

Feeling a bit jealous ? Having my 'life' exposed to someone who really cares but not exclusively cares.

There is a bit of role playing when doc is gay and ... Handsome...

Confuses me.

Eric

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #23 on: February 17, 2012, 08:24:55 PM »

Confuses me.

Eric

Well yeah... you're married to a woman aren't you?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #24 on: February 18, 2012, 11:29:25 AM »


  My doctor isn't gay but does wear a Sari.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline denb45

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #25 on: February 18, 2012, 11:43:20 AM »

  My doctor isn't gay but does wear a Sari.

My current ID -Doc isn't gay, but she's an infectious disease/HIV doc/GP so she understands & respects different life-styles, she young ( only about 28) and very progressive, she is from Suny State U of NY @ Syracuse
and I really like her,  have a great rappor with her  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #26 on: February 18, 2012, 11:57:15 AM »
My first doctor of 8 years was gay -- I had him pre-diagnosis but briefly then. He was a jovial, fat gay Jew who wore Tweety bird socks every day. He'd actually treated HIV from the early days, as even before HIV he'd run a STD clinic in Greenwich Village. He shared offices with a gay dentist who routinely played Streisand as he fixed your cavities. Delightful. I had a gay acupuncturist too back then, and a gay dermatologist.

My next HIV doctor was a straight woman who I saw only twice -- I fired her when she yelled at me on the phone, then hung up on me. She was outraged about something with my HMO denying something she'd prescribed to me. I was tempted to report her to the AMA but my gay shrink talked me out of it, saying everyone can have a bad day. Whatevs.

My next doctor was Keith Haring's old doctor, also gay -- and there were Haring prints throughout the office as evidently he'd had to barter for medical services the last year of his life. The waiting room was fun because it was always half full of gay men, and the other half were M2F transexuals. Tony place too, doorman building on Central Park South.

Then I moved to Filthydelphia and my first doctor was a straight woman from Ukraine -- she was quite lovely, but after 8 months got preggers and left that clinic, so then I was bumped up to my current doctor which worked out quite well because he's the director/head clinician of the entire operation, and probably one of the top two HIV specialists in the city. He's straight, Lebanese, kind of cute, very talkative, and probably the favorite personality wise of all of the ones I've had -- though a close tie with Tweety Bird sock man who was also lovely.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Online mikeyb39

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #27 on: February 18, 2012, 12:06:20 PM »
Personally i don't think i could ever have a female doctor.  I get very uncomfortable with a female even touching me, much less sticking a finger in me or touching my junk.  I would be mentally scarred.   haha.
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Online mikeyb39

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #28 on: February 18, 2012, 12:09:48 PM »
yes i have issues.  i know...haha
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD

Offline denb45

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #29 on: February 18, 2012, 12:34:05 PM »
Personally i don't think i could ever have a female doctor.  I get very uncomfortable with a female even touching me, much less sticking a finger in me or touching my junk.  I would be mentally scarred.   haha.

Doesn't matter to me male or female, as long as they are professional, (Dennis who prefers Big Muscular Strapping Male RN's to touch my junk, and finger my hole)   ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #30 on: February 18, 2012, 12:35:51 PM »
Personally i don't think i could ever have a female doctor.  I get very uncomfortable with a female even touching me, much less sticking a finger in me or touching my junk.  I would be mentally scarred.   haha.

How manly of you.

I've been at the colorectal surgeon with not one but two women helping stick things up my shit chute.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline buginme2

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #31 on: February 18, 2012, 12:52:12 PM »
Best Dr I had was a woman.  Give it a try Mikey, you may like it.

My dermatologist is a woman, having her check you for melanoma on your anus is quite an experience.

Also, the dr at the anal dysplasia clinic is also a woman.

Seems like I only get to have women looking at my bungy hole lately.
"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

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Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #32 on: February 18, 2012, 01:04:14 PM »
My dentist is a very cute gay bear. 

I have always preferred female doctors for all other matters.  Nowadays however my primary care doctor is an older fella; he is super sweet and very open minded (even though he can get a bit annoying when he asks about my sex life --he thinks I should be having more sex).  I see two female docs when it comes to HIV matters.  Love them.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline bear60

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #33 on: February 18, 2012, 01:40:26 PM »
My last primary physician was a gay man.  I really liked him and his approach to care.  We were about the same age (65) and both a bit overweight.  So I didnt get too many lectures about losing weight.
Unfortunately he retired after only one year of being my Primary physician.  I now have a female dotor.
One of my first doctors,  back in the day,  was gay.  This was 1989. Unfortunately at the time HIV was such a huge stigma, that he did not tell anyone ( even his gay patients) that he was HIV + and had AIDS.  He died very quickly.
The next doctor was gay as well.  He had an enormous number of gay patients who were all HIV+ and /or had AIDS.  His biggest drawbck was that he tended to try large doses of AZT.  AZT was the only drug available back then. It was later discovered that smaller, not larger doses of AZT were better.  So....a lot of his patients developed anemia and had to have whole blood transfusions.  It was all very stressful.
He eventually had to retire because of the stress from losing so many patients.
I hope today that all this has changed, but I see one post that indicated stigma associated with AIDS or HIV. 
Just thought I'd recount what it was like back then.
 
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #34 on: February 18, 2012, 03:22:59 PM »
Personally i don't think i could ever have a female doctor.  I get very uncomfortable with a female even touching me, much less sticking a finger in me or touching my junk.  I would be mentally scarred.   haha.

That's one thing I don't like about my female doctor.  I wish she would do a rectal exam of the prostate.  I do have a history of rectal cancer in the family.  Instead she orders a PSA blood test which is then not covered by Medicare because I am under 50 so now I have to ask the doctors office to submit an appeal on my behalf.   To me a rectal exam is a medical procedure so I don't feel odd about it regardless of a man or woman doing it.  She did have to check that area once, but it was for something else, and the odd thing is that they have to have the nurse in there also.
Pray God you can cope
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Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #35 on: February 18, 2012, 06:34:09 PM »
That's one thing I don't like about my female doctor.  I wish she would do a rectal exam of the prostate.  I do have a history of rectal cancer in the family.  Instead she orders a PSA blood test which is then not covered by Medicare because I am under 50 so now I have to ask the doctors office to submit an appeal on my behalf.   To me a rectal exam is a medical procedure so I don't feel odd about it regardless of a man or woman doing it.  She did have to check that area once, but it was for something else, and the odd thing is that they have to have the nurse in there also.

Why don't you go to a proctologist for this?
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline OneTampa

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #36 on: February 18, 2012, 07:31:20 PM »
Back in mid-80's when my company switched health plans, I had my first visit with a gay doctor.  He was extremely attractive with absolutely no bed side manner and was a total jerk.  I immediately requested another doctor who happened not to be gay and remains my primary care physician (he is now in private practice out of the plan network) to this day.

The other specialists I see are also not gay but they are wonderful and I have been with them for years. I can also talk freely with them.  I am very pleased.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline aztecan

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #37 on: February 18, 2012, 11:49:00 PM »
I can't imagine a doctor good enough for me to drive 7 hours round trip each visit.   I would put my limit at about 45 minutes away.  It takes 30 minutes to get anywhere where I live due to traffic.

The point was that, at the time, there were no local doctors who would see HIV patients. Zippo. I could have refused to drive the distance, but I would not be here to converse, which I wouldn't like much at all.

Even if they docs here would have treated hi fivers, they had no knowledge of how to. I live in a rural area, more or less, and the only option I had back then was to drive to Albuquerque. There were some scary trips during snow storms, etc., but I made it.

We now have a doctor here - one doctor here. I am grateful every day for his presence. If I didn't like him for some reason, I would be driving to Albuquerque again. Those are my options.

HUGS,

Mark
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Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #38 on: May 02, 2012, 09:58:21 PM »
I went to a group today with a gay HIV doctor speaker and I am considering changing over to him.  I think it's important for a doctor to know what we do that we may feel uncomfortable with talking to a straight doctor, or even mentioning something they are unfamiliar with.   I got a chance to ask him a few questions at the end and asked about my doctor and he told me that 6 of his patients have switched over from her, she's a good doctor but there are other benefits to switching such as having my blood work drawn at his office instead of going to Quest.
« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 10:01:12 PM by LiveWithIt »
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Offline darryaz

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #39 on: May 02, 2012, 10:15:04 PM »
My doc isn't gay.....I would say he's metro-sexual.  But he is an excellent doctor.

I've been going to a gay dentist and am completely dissatisfied with him.  I'll be changing soon. 

Gay or straight is far less important to me than COMPETENT and personable.

Offline HnyMustard

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #40 on: May 02, 2012, 10:22:50 PM »
I don't think I have a gay doctor, but she could be lesbian. I can't say I care either way. I do feel like I can talk about anything, and she'll get it. She's kind of granola; which I appreciate.

And so far as the sex of my doctor, I prefer a female. As a gay male, ladies always make me feel more comfortable. I'm hesitant to talk about gay "things" with a straight man.. but I think that's my own hang up.


Offline tednlou2

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #41 on: May 02, 2012, 11:10:01 PM »
My HIV doc is not gay.  My therapist is.  I have found it extremely more comfortable in discussing gay relationship issues--getting along with my partner, sex, and having HIV.  He can relate.  He began working with HIV/AIDS patients in the late 80's/90's.  We talk very openly about sex and don't use kid words for naughty parts and sex acts..lol.  I think I would be more hesitant with a straight therapist, unless he was very engaging and could talk the talk.  My therapist and I just had a discussion about the pros/cons of a couple occasionally having fun with a 3rd.  I don't think I could have that conversation with a straight guy.  I'm sure there are many straight docs/therapists who know all the in's and out's with gay relationships and sex.  But, I think many just can't relate.       

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #42 on: May 02, 2012, 11:26:27 PM »
I have a straight, female therapist and openly discuss anal butt sex in the most graphic terms with her. She loves and adores me.

We also enjoy discussing ramps, because she's a vegetarian and works at the Headhouse Farmer's market for a crunchy-granola food co-op on Sundays.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Pilot

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #43 on: May 03, 2012, 12:05:16 AM »
My doctor is gay and he is the only doctor I have seen since 98 and he is good most of the time but he is a bit of a chatty Kathy and often runs an hour behind schedule.  We have had some real discussions about it.  He knows that if I wait an hour I am out the door.  If he realizes that I am there he picks up the pace because he said I know you are an escape artist.. lol...

Offline MarkB

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #44 on: May 03, 2012, 04:18:31 AM »
I'm loving this thread. Gay doctors, dentists and therapists?!

 ;D

It's a bit isolated here, in truth, and on occasion it gets wearisome. Since 2OO7 (when I was diagnosed), I have met the grand total of one other human being whom I know to be HIV+, although to be fair I have spoken on the 'phone with another (you know who you are, awesome person  :-* ), and of course, there is this forum. In HIV terms, it's a bit like living in a hermetically sealed room. Much as I would have welcomed it on occasion, I've never even been to a support group, because there is none within at least a 1OO mile radius of where I live, which is a bit far to drive for a kvetch.

In short, I'm not just the only one in the village, I'm probably the only one in the county. I really must move away from woop woop ...

 :( 



/ ... edited for typos.
« Last Edit: May 03, 2012, 04:28:42 AM by MarkB »

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #45 on: May 03, 2012, 06:01:48 AM »
My dentist is gay. All the other doctors are breeders.  Can't remember tast time I had a gay doc.  I dated a gay doc, does that count?
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #46 on: May 03, 2012, 06:30:03 AM »
One of my best friends is a doctor and I do use him on occasions because we live in diffrent city's now . He is a one hell of man and I admire him greatly . Early on in the Aids epidemic many people were sent to him that other doctors refused to treat , as a primary care physician he was way in over his head as were most doctors back then . He paid a huge price for taking care of Aids patients , first his partners kicked him out and eventually hospitals hated to see him coming for admitting so many uninsured critically ill and dieing patients . To this day he will take on a sick person irregardless of they're ability to pay and he will even make house calls . 

The saddest part is I have had people who know we are close come up to me and say that they blame him for the death of a friend or worse a friend of a friend . They blame him because so many people died under his care when the truth is he was the only one who did care . People only make the mistake of speaking ill one time to me about my friend who is a gay doctor . 

Offline mecch

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #47 on: May 03, 2012, 08:00:22 AM »
The saddest part is I have had people who know we are close come up to me and say that they blame him for the death of a friend or worse a friend of a friend . They blame him because so many people died under his care when the truth is he was the only one who did care . People only make the mistake of speaking ill one time to me about my friend who is a gay doctor .

How can people be so stupid.
ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline MarkB

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #48 on: May 03, 2012, 08:08:51 AM »
Early on in the Aids epidemic many people were sent to him that other doctors refused to treat , as a primary care physician he was way in over his head as were most doctors back then . He paid a huge price for taking care of Aids patients , first his partners kicked him out and eventually hospitals hated to see him coming for admitting so many uninsured critically ill and dieing patients . To this day he will take on a sick person irregardless of they're ability to pay and he will even make house calls .

Having read this, I am in awe of your friend. Such compassion and care is humanity at its best.

Offline Jeff G

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Re: Do you have a gay doctor?
« Reply #49 on: May 03, 2012, 08:16:12 AM »
Having read this, I am in awe of your friend. Such compassion and care is humanity at its best.

I have been in awe of him since I met him at age 21 . His modesty is also part of his charm , once when I brought up what he has done for people he just shrugs it off and said " what else can you do" and changed the subject .

 


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