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Author Topic: I went to far  (Read 1609 times)

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Offline todd2769

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I went to far
« on: February 13, 2012, 06:33:32 PM »
My story: A few months ago I was in Las Vegas and ended up in a VIP room with a dancer at a strip club. I was very drunk and was french kissing, fingering and sucking on her breast. She then performed oral sex on me. I am very scared since I had pulled some skin off around my nails a few hours early and there was bleeding on my finger earlier in the day. The oral sex was also very rough. About 6 weeks later I found a lump just below my collar bone. I am afraid it is a swollen lymph node. My GF whom I had unprotected sex with a couple of weeks after the possible exposure is now 2 months later having an overgrowth of yeast that has spread from her vagina to her inner thighs and rear end. I no there has not been any documented cases from fingering or oral, but I did both and my finger had exposed wound and now we both have symptoms. Do I need to get tested. Please help.  thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2012, 06:35:26 PM »
You do not need testing you never had an exposure.

HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative anal and/or vaginal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child

Offline todd2769

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2012, 07:22:52 PM »
Thank you for the quick response.  I am trying to move past this episode and I have a lot of guilt.  I know it was low risk, but when I read some of the post in the "I just tested positive forum" some people claim to have always practiced safe sex and don't know how they got infected. On other sites I have read about people claiming to have gotten infected through oral. Why are these cases not followed up on and documented. Does it have to occur in a long term case study to be considered documented? If I tested positive would I be an undocumented case? 

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2012, 07:26:22 PM »
Thank you for the quick response.  I am trying to move past this episode and I have a lot of guilt.  I know it was low risk, but when I read some of the post in the "I just tested positive forum" some people claim to have always practiced safe sex and don't know how they got infected. On other sites I have read about people claiming to have gotten infected through oral. Why are these cases not followed up on and documented. Does it have to occur in a long term case study to be considered documented? If I tested positive would I be an undocumented case?
I can tell you it wasn't from practicing safe sex.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2012, 07:48:54 PM »
You had an incident which as Rod has accurately told you was absolutely no risk whatsover for HIV. We're not going to indulge you in giving serious credence to what you are reading anywhere and using as fodder to feed your unfounded fears.

You were not at risk. There is no need for testing. Cut out the unnecessary drama and get on with your life. Really.

Guilt is a whole different matter from actual risk. You did what you did on that occasion. It's history. Be smart and let it go and get on with your life. Whatever is going on with your gf has nothing to do with HIV. She should be discussing her symptoms with her own doctor. Like many straying partners you are mistakenly thinking you are passing a virus you don't have. Get over it. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #5 on: February 14, 2012, 05:09:53 AM »
Todd,

Have you EVER tested for hiv? Has your girlfriend? Because while what you did with the stripper was absolutely NOT a risk for hiv infection, what you've been doing with your girlfriend - unprotected intercourse - IS a risk for hiv infection.

It never ceases to amaze me that people go through their lives blithely having unprotected intercourse with people they date, but only freak out and worry about hiv when they've been in contact - no matter how safe - with a sex worker.

You and your girlfriend should BOTH have been tested for not only hiv, but all the other STIs out there BEFORE you stopped using condoms. Have you ever use condoms with her - or any other of your girlfriends?

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER KISSING, FINGERING, BREAST SUCKING OR GETTING BLOWJOBS, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline todd2769

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #6 on: February 14, 2012, 07:21:25 AM »
Thank you to all for the replies.
Ann,
We have been in a serious relationship for over 4 years and are now engaged. We were both tested before we stopped using condoms. Neither of us have had many partners and we both always used condoms in the past. I think what really scared me about the exposure I had even though it was very low risk, is that her doctor told her that if this yeast infection keeps recurring that it may be some type of immune deficiency. On the optimistic side, he also said that since she is on the birth control pill and was also on antibiotics a couple of months ago that they both contribute to these types of yeast over growths. Thank you all again for the information. I am trying to put the past behind me and get over this guilt. One last thing, should I get tested for other STIs due to this one incident?

Offline Ann

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2012, 08:18:20 AM »
Todd,

There's a possibility to become infected with syphilis, gonorrhea, chlamydia and/or herpes through getting a blowjob. The first three can often be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

It's not surprising your gf has a yeast infection after taking antibiotics, plus being on the pill. I practically only have to look at a bottle of antibiotics and I get a yeast infection - and this has been happening to me since I was a teenager, many, many years before I became poz.

She may need more aggressive antifungal treatment, and it may also help if she makes some dietary changes. There is information all over the internet on the possible relationship between diet and the over-growth of yeast (aka Candida albicans). EVERYONE has C. albicans in and on their body and overgrowth is very common and not necessarily related to immune system problems.

You may also need to be treated for yeast - you could be passing it back and forth between you.

I'm glad to hear about your past condom use and testing habits. That's the right way to go about it.

Again, just to be clear, you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection during your lapdance experience.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline todd2769

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #8 on: March 09, 2012, 03:20:41 PM »
Ann and Andy,
Thanks, for the information. I have been ok for a couple of weeks, and come to this forum for the encouragement,  but today my girlfriends doctor told her she needs to go for an HIV and diabetes test to try to determine the underlying cause of the overgrowth of yeast. She is upset and ask me if she had anything to worry about with HIV and did I cheat on her. I told her no, but I have never been this scared. I can't convince myself it was such a low risk. I remember she kept licking the top of my penis and if she had blood on her tongue that is how I could have been infected. I know the odds are in my favor at 10,000 to 1 chance with oral sex, but what bad timing for her doctor to suggest an HIV test.  I will let you know the results, and hopefully I will get through all of this and then I will get tested. I am afraid my odds now are at 50 /50.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #9 on: March 09, 2012, 03:28:08 PM »
What ever is going on has nothing to do with you. You never had an exposure and you can't transmit anything you don't have.

Offline todd2769

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #10 on: March 09, 2012, 03:33:35 PM »
thank you Rod,
I am just looking for some positive feedback right now and I appreciate your quick response.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #11 on: March 09, 2012, 06:46:57 PM »
Ann and Andy,
Thanks, for the information. I have been ok for a couple of weeks, and come to this forum for the encouragement,  but today my girlfriends doctor told her she needs to go for an HIV and diabetes test to try to determine the underlying cause of the overgrowth of yeast. She is upset and ask me if she had anything to worry about with HIV and did I cheat on her. I told her no, but I have never been this scared. I can't convince myself it was such a low risk. I remember she kept licking the top of my penis and if she had blood on her tongue that is how I could have been infected. I know the odds are in my favor at 10,000 to 1 chance with oral sex, but what bad timing for her doctor to suggest an HIV test.  I will let you know the results, and hopefully I will get through all of this and then I will get tested. I am afraid my odds now are at 50 /50.


This is all about your guilt and not any real risk for HIV as you have been told repeatedly. There really is nothing more for us to add or say beyond that you did not have a risk all of your what if scenarios notwithstanding. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline todd2769

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  • Posts: 6
Re: I went to far
« Reply #12 on: March 11, 2012, 12:17:05 PM »
your right it is probably mostly about guilt, but there are some real symptoms and the timing all fits. I just can't go by statistics at 1 in 10,000 since it only takes one unlucky time. I developed a lump on my collar bone about 2 weeks after, it is very hard and has not gone away 3 months later, and I had an itchy throat and cough that started 11 days after and lasted about 1 week. My girlfriend has this yeast rash that has been with her for 2 months and she had an itchy throat, swollen glands and cough about 2 weeks after we had sex.   I will know for sure next week since the doctor has sent her for hiv and diabetes test, since he is trying to rule out some of the things that could be the cause. I have reread everyone's answers on this thread and it is helping me get through this.  Thank you.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #13 on: March 11, 2012, 01:20:48 PM »
your right it is probably mostly about guilt, but there are some real symptoms and the timing all fits. I just can't go by statistics at 1 in 10,000 since it only takes one unlucky time. I developed a lump on my collar bone about 2 weeks after, it is very hard and has not gone away 3 months later, and I had an itchy throat and cough that started 11 days after and lasted about 1 week. My girlfriend has this yeast rash that has been with her for 2 months and she had an itchy throat, swollen glands and cough about 2 weeks after we had sex.   I will know for sure next week since the doctor has sent her for hiv and diabetes test, since he is trying to rule out some of the things that could be the cause. I have reread everyone's answers on this thread and it is helping me get through this.  Thank you.

To date there has never been a documented case of HIV transmission through getting a blowjob. How do you figure 1 in 10,000 - when there has yet to be the 1?

You had NO RISK for HIV.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Online Andy Velez

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Re: I went to far
« Reply #14 on: March 11, 2012, 03:30:38 PM »
Whatever is going on with you symptomatically has nothing to do with HIV. See your doctor about your symptoms. Your head may be telling you otherwise but they have nothing to do with HIV.

We're not going to indulge you with more back and forths about a totally non-risk situation.

If you continue to return here about this you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out for at least 28 days.

HIV is not your problem. Period. 
Andy Velez

 


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