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Author Topic: not noticing a broken condom  (Read 3117 times)

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Offline chrisAtl

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not noticing a broken condom
« on: February 09, 2012, 06:25:26 PM »
I just recently got out of a 3 year relationship and got tested three months post our breakup and it was negative. But during those three months I did have sorta a rebound relationship that lasted for about a month. During that time with the new guy we had anal intercourse twice... both times I wore a latex condom but we used a water based hand lotion that did have mineral oil in it. I didn't notice any breaks or anything and he was actually the on that threw away the condoms both times and he said they didn't break. Its been three weeks since the last time we had sex and now my lymph nodes are swollen on one side. I haven't had any other symptoms but I've just being consumed with anxiety that maybe the condom had a small tear or something that neither of us noticed.

Is it possible that it could have been damaged and neither of us knew? I was the insertive partner both times and I'm circumsiced. Thank you for your time.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #1 on: February 09, 2012, 06:39:40 PM »
I just recently got out of a 3 year relationship and got tested three months post our breakup and it was negative. But during those three months I did have sorta a rebound relationship that lasted for about a month. During that time with the new guy we had anal intercourse twice... both times I wore a latex condom but we used a water based hand lotion that did have mineral oil in it. I didn't notice any breaks or anything and he was actually the on that threw away the condoms both times and he said they didn't break. Its been three weeks since the last time we had sex and now my lymph nodes are swollen on one side. I haven't had any other symptoms but I've just being consumed with anxiety that maybe the condom had a small tear or something that neither of us noticed.

Is it possible that it could have been damaged and neither of us knew? I was the insertive partner both times and I'm circumsiced. Thank you for your time.
You never had an exposure. Had the condom failed you would have known without a doubt.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #2 on: February 09, 2012, 11:11:24 PM »
Whatever is going on with you symptomatically has nothing to do with HIV because nothing you did put you at risk. You wore a condom for anal which is exactly what you are supposed to do everytime.

If the condom had failed you would have known it because it's not about little itty bitty holes. When it goes the whole thing ends up looking like a hoop on your penis with fringe.

If your symptoms persist you should discuss them with your doctor. HIV is not the problem. Period.

Andy Velez

Offline chrisAtl

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #3 on: February 10, 2012, 03:58:15 AM »
Thank you so much for your words. It makes it much easier to breathe. I was wondering, do you think I should get tested just in case?

I want to test again because of the overwhelming anxiety this is causing me. Its like I'm completely losing myself to this. 

Am I being irrational or have you ever known of anyone that used a condom (that didn't break) and was infected?  Once again thank you so much and im sorry for bothering you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #4 on: February 10, 2012, 04:00:32 AM »
Thank you so much for your words. It makes it much easier to breathe. I was wondering, do you think I should get tested just in case?

I want to test again because of the overwhelming anxiety this is causing me. Its like I'm completely losing myself to this. 

Am I being irrational or have you ever known of anyone that used a condom (that didn't break) and was infected?  Once again thank you so much and im sorry for bothering you.
Yes you are being irrational. If a condom is used correctly it doesn't fail and you won't contact HIV and most STDs.

Offline chrisAtl

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #5 on: February 10, 2012, 04:04:05 AM »
Ok. I really appreciate it.

Y'all have helped me so much.

:)


Online Andy Velez

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #6 on: February 10, 2012, 08:37:12 AM »
There is no need for testing.

If you can't let go of this fear you can get tested just for your peace of mind. But it is not necessary. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline chrisAtl

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #7 on: February 14, 2012, 04:09:41 AM »
If a condom is used correctly...

Ive been wondering about "correct" use of a condom. As I believe, like I said, it didn't break. But technically I didn't use it "correctly" because we used lube with oil in it.  I don't mean to question y'all, I just legitimately don't know.

Is the only way a condom can fail be by breaking? So like if it didn't break I was 100% protected the whole time?

I think I'm just super concerned because I got th flu in Nov and a cold in jan so I'm so confused as to what now I could be going thru symptomaticly. And since Oct I've been convinced it is HIV despite being tested before this latest encounter on Jan 17. So yeah I'm going for my 4 week test today and still wanna say thank you for doing what y'all do.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #8 on: February 14, 2012, 08:27:05 AM »
Chris, when a condom fails it's not about itty-bitty little holes as people often fear.

No, it's quite clear what has happened because the whole thing gives and ends up looking like a hoop with a lot of latex fringe on your penis.

In the future make sure that you used a water-based lube. Oil-based lubes can cause breakage. Fortunately in your case this time that didn't happen. You would have known it if that had happened.

You're good to go this time. And keep using a condom everytime for vaginal and anal intercourse, no matter who your partner is.
Andy Velez

Offline chrisAtl

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #9 on: February 14, 2012, 06:08:36 PM »
So, like you said, I tested negative at 4 weeks. And like you said I never had a risk to begin with. I'm going to test again at 12 weeks just for my peace of mind and ocd issues or w.e it is. And I believe it should come back negative then.  So thanks again for your responses. Y'all are providing a great service for which I am so thankful. :)

Online Andy Velez

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #10 on: February 14, 2012, 06:53:52 PM »
Well even when it is expected a negative result is always a happy thing.

And of course you are going to continue to test negative.

Meantime get busy with other things in your life. It will make the waiting time go more easily than you may imagine is possible.
Andy Velez

Offline chrisAtl

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Re: not noticing a broken condom
« Reply #11 on: April 23, 2012, 02:17:07 AM »
Ok, so I got my 13 week test and it was negative. Just wanted to give an update and say thanks again. I know a lot more now b/c of this place.

 


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