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Poll

Should I tell everyone that I've ever had unprotected sex with?

yes
1 (25%)
no
3 (75%)

Total Members Voted: 4

Author Topic: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners  (Read 2803 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline noobnooberton1979

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Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« on: January 28, 2012, 11:23:57 PM »
Not sure if I am posting in the right place....
This is my first post. I was just diagnosed (Jan 2012) and I haven't even gotten my blood count results back yet. I have no idea when I contracted this, although my last test was in 1998.. Around 2002 I had a personal tragedy, went on self destruct mode for about a year. I considered myself very lucky as I had never contracted any STDS (haha jokes on me) and I got my life back on track, although I didn't always use a condom EVERY time. My question is this: since I'm not sure how long I have had this, should I contact all partners that I may have had unprotected sex with from then until now? I am not showing any symptoms and I would not even had known I had HIV if I hadn't gotten pregnant. (My current partner is NEG and so is the baby). :D

Any advice would be welcome

Offline noobnooberton1979

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2012, 11:47:14 PM »
Oh and I meant to add that if things do not work out with my current partner, I intend to tell all FUTURE partners.

Offline noobnooberton1979

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Re: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« Reply #2 on: February 08, 2012, 12:50:45 AM »
Seriously. I'm really stuck here.. No one?

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« Reply #3 on: February 09, 2012, 08:39:32 AM »
Hi Nic, welcome to the forums. I'm terribly sorry your thread was overlooked for so long - unfortunately it happens sometimes.  :-\

In many states, you will be contacted by an official from the health department and during this interview they will give you the opportunity to give them the contact information of your previous partners. The health department will then contact them to tell them they need to test. When the health department informs them, you will be kept anonymous so your privacy is protected.

If your state is one that does not perform this interview, you can still contact your local health department to have them inform the people who need to know. You might ask your doctor for details of who to contact in order to make this happen.

Of course you can also inform people yourself, but please do be careful. You don't know how they will react and you don't know who they will tell. Informing people anonymously via the health department is the safest way to go.

But yes, you should let people know. It's the right thing to do. Just make sure your safety and privacy is being taken care of.

Again, welcome to the forums - and sorry it took so long for you to get a response.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline noobnooberton1979

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2012, 12:29:22 AM »
Thank you, Ann. I guess in my heart I knew it was the right thing to do, it was just very difficult since I have no idea how long I have had this thing, or when I contracted it, so it was hard to know who to contact. (If that makes any sense). I've pretty much taken a list of my relationships since I left my husband in 2002. (That was the last time I took a test.) I've contacted them. One guy wants nothing to do with me anymore (we weren't really talking any way) and the other guy has been very supportive. (He also came out neg.) It is a scary thing and I don't hate anyone for their gut reaction. The only other person I can think of that could have passed it to me was killed in a motorcycle accident last year, so I guess I'll never know if he had it for sure but we WERE in a serious relationship and trying to have a baby so we didn't use protection. It's really screwed up... but he didn't look sick..he wasn't a IV drug user, and I don't think he was bi. :-\

Also a little off topic.. I have had NO symptoms whatsoever. I never even catch a cold and cuts always heal quickly for me. In fact, I had a caesarian and didn't get sick either, my stitches healed fine... What is up with that?  ???

Any one know what sort of symptoms I should look for to let me know I'm getting sick??
       

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Question of disclosure to previous sex partners
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2012, 08:25:03 AM »

but he didn't look sick..he wasn't a IV drug user, and I don't think he was bi.


I bet you don't qualify for any of those statements either. That's the thing - you can't tell by looking at a person, and you can't go by what they do for a living, past drug use (or the lack of drug use) or anything else like that. Don't feel bad - I learned that the hard way too. Please understand that your infection may have come from ANYONE you had intercourse with who wasn't wearing a condom. That person didn't necessarily look sick, nor did he necessarily have to had used drug or have sex with men. It could have been anyone.


Any one know what sort of symptoms I should look for to let me know I'm getting sick??
       

Don't look for anything, because neither symptoms or even the LACK of symptoms will ever tell you a single definite thing about the state of your immune system.

The only way to know is to be regularly monitored by a doctor who has experience in treating hiv positive patients. You need to have your CD4 count and your viral load measured at least four times a year. You should also have regular complete blood counts and other blood tests at the same time. You can read more about how to monitor your health in the Lesson found elsewhere on this website called The Blood Tests You'll Need.

There are many more Lessons available here. Please click on the links I've given you here and read some of them. If further questions arise while you read, feel free to come back into the forums to ask.

You know, you're going to get colds and flu just like anyone else. It won't mean you're in any serious danger as long as your CD4s are above 200. That's why it's so important to be regularly monitored by a doctor. As long as you have good counts, any illness is likely to be just something that anyone gets.


I have had NO symptoms whatsoever. I never even catch a cold and cuts always heal quickly for me. In fact, I had a caesarian and didn't get sick either, my stitches healed fine... What is up with that?


Well, nothing is up with that. Many people never have a single symptom for years and years. I've been poz for fifteen, not on meds yet, and I've never had any illness that would point to hiv. If I hadn't been diagnosed after being named as a contact (my local health department got in touch with me after a man I had a relationship with tested poz, and he named me as a contact), I probably still would not know I was poz.

There's no reason why you wouldn't heal normally. The only time in hiv infection where this may not be true is if you have only a few CD4 cells - like ten. Most poz people have no trouble handling bacterial infections, because the part of the immune system hiv messes with is a different one to the part that deals with bacteria. We're more prone to viral or fungal infections though.


By the way, when are you getting your results back? Soon I hope. We can have a more in-depth discussion when we know where your counts are at.

Ann



edited for clarity
« Last Edit: February 12, 2012, 08:35:08 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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