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Author Topic: Disclosure blah blah blah  (Read 19507 times)

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Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #50 on: January 29, 2012, 02:43:03 AM »
I have to say I am stunned at the amount of disclosure questions. I get the hard part of it when it comes to dating and when and how to tell. What I don't get is why is there even a question about disclosing before you have sex. We all have a moral responsibility to tell any and all sexual partners. I got a lot of shit from people about being all high and mighty about the subject. We all ( for the most part) are here because someone didn't disclose to us. Do you really want to do this to some one else all in the sake of getting some. If you answered yes, well you have no morals and you make the rest of us look like monsters.

Bottom line folks, it is your responsibility to tell.  You dont want to, well tuff shit. Do the right thing.  The world will be a better place because you did. My mom always says god doesn't like ugly.  I couldn't agree more with her.
This is what you said. No one who comes here to ask disclosure questions wants to harm someone else. People do wreck-less things but that doesn't mean they intended to harm someone else.

I said you are a monster if you knowling sleep with someone and you know your positive and you lie and say no.  If your going to qutoe me get it right
I quoted you above. You didn't say anything about the lying about it part. That's a HUGE difference from what you posted. You may have been thinking about the lying but it never made it to the keyboard.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 02:48:39 AM by AdonisSMU »

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #51 on: January 29, 2012, 02:47:21 AM »
I wish that was true
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #52 on: January 29, 2012, 02:53:21 AM »
Like I said before JeepGuy, I agree with you in principle but I think your approach is wrong. That's my disagreement.

I think upfront within the first 5 minutes is probably best. Maybe the guy should know your status before your name. 

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #53 on: January 29, 2012, 02:56:33 AM »
Couldn't agree more with you on that One
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #54 on: January 29, 2012, 03:01:54 AM »
I told a guy who thought he was going to pick me up off the street and literally ran the other direction like he had been infected simply by me saying hi to him.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #55 on: January 29, 2012, 03:08:52 AM »
I am sorry that happened.  A few months back I finally work up the courage to ask this guy out.  I was so  attracted to him. We went to a wonderful restaurant and was having a great time. When I shared I was positive the look of fear on this guys broke my heart. I felt like shit.  But I was honest and up front. I feared I would loose my job, but it actually turned out for the best. I thought friends and family would turn their back. Well some did, but for the most part it has brought me closer to most. Disclosing isn't a bad thing.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #56 on: January 29, 2012, 03:11:23 AM »
My message is pretty tough and I know that. With that said I personally believe to the core of my being sleeping with some one and not disclosing is
Wrong. 
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline OneTampa

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #57 on: January 29, 2012, 10:17:22 AM »
...and SCENE.

Very interesting discussion on this thread and one we've had many times before. My view, short of rape or other forcible means, is that every able bodied adult is responsible for his/her actions and can choose to engage (and by what means) or not in the sex act.

It also appears to me that the OP's title to this thread "Disclosure blah blah blah" anticipated that there would be a whole lot of chat-chat-beat-a-ma-gums (in this case keyboard dancing) in response to his opening narrative that served as the propellant.

Agree or not, the OP gave everyone a chance to keep those brain synapses firing. Everyone gets a gold star for their observational dexterity. (File under Mental Health?)

BTW, I had a few DunkinDoughnuts and a frosty diet coke reading the transcript.

Holla! 
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 10:41:22 AM by OneTampa »
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaŪto frito."

Offline bocker3

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #58 on: January 29, 2012, 10:40:07 AM »
My problem with your take on this is not the belief that one should disclose -- it's the utter black/white of it.  You have annoited yourself the disclosure police here.  You are not "stating your opinion" you are making JUDGEMENTS.  There is a huge difference there.  You have every right to state your opinion and you have every right disclose every time, what you really don't have is the right to judge someone else -- why??  because, unless you were a party to it, you don't know what went down, you are simply taking an absolute position and applying to every situation.  That is what is so fucked up in your ridiculous thread here.

Also -- putting the onus only on the pos guy is not going to help end infections, in fact it may have the opposite.  If you think one needs to judge whether or not to use a condom on whether or not someone says I'm poz or I'm neg, well -- many of us are here from using that approach.  I know -- now you will say that isn't what I'm saying -- but you are Blanch, you are.  I've yet to see you take any responsibility for your infection -- and I've yet to see you say anything about the necessity for condom use every time (by a neg person).  It's always about what the pos guy should do.

There is nothing more dangerous than someone who is so convinced that they are right and can not look at what anyone else is saying.  You see, I personally hope I would always disclose, because I think that is the right thing to do FOR ME.  You are looking at poz disclosure from the eyes of a victim and until you leave your victimhood behind, it is not the rest of us who are bitter queens -- IT IS YOU.

So..... enjoy the view from high on your horse and pedestal -- look out for the fall though, it will be a big one.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #59 on: January 29, 2012, 11:00:34 AM »
No shit it's not easy. I never said it was.  From the beginning I said if you are positive you should disclose to your sexual partners. What's so bad and so hard here.  Instead I am met with bitchy queens bringing up things I shared and trying to be cruel. 

No, we were pointing out old things said about yourself in an effort to make you into a less judgmental, nasty, moralizing queen while simultaneously playing the victim (which, naturally, you're still doing as I wake up and am having my first coffee).

Quote
You know some asked me the other day are you only going to date HIV positive people?  I said I don't know but so far I haven't met one that isn't messed up in the head. Me included.

... you don't say
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 11:02:32 AM by Miss Philicia »
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #60 on: January 29, 2012, 11:38:07 AM »
There is no victim miss, you and I just don't see things the same. I have never gone back and used your earlier post against you.  That's one thing your great at.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #61 on: January 29, 2012, 11:42:22 AM »
There is no victim miss, you and I just don't see things the same. I have never gone back and used your earlier post against you.  That's one thing your great at.

Right, because I'm the only one has stated that you're doing this in the thread -- playing the victim. As far as what I brought up about things you said in previous threads your hypocrisy about disclosure and HIV criminalization is entirely relevant, and it's quite noticeable that you've failed to adress what I earlier stated. You initially brought up the context of your own infection and ex-husband here, not me.

You really are a piece of work.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline mecch

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #62 on: January 29, 2012, 11:43:48 AM »
PozJeepGuy.

Your morality works for you but its hardy for everyone, and hardly appropriate in all situations.

1) There are plenty of places in this world where there is no need to disclose HIV or for that matter, any health issue, or anything, before having sex.

2) There are millions of people who are HIV+ and certainly do have safe sex with others and don't feel the same moral obligation as you.  Meaning they have safe sex and don't say they are HIV+.

FURTHERMORE, there are certainly many many people who know they are HIV+ and also are undetectable, and have safe sex with others, without disclosing. 

We can't know the details on the relationship between the serodiscordant couple having this safe sex.   We are talking about populations.  On the level of a population, I don't see anything immoral about such actions.

 

ďFrom each, according to his ability; to each, according to his needĒ 1875 K Marx

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #63 on: January 29, 2012, 11:54:27 AM »
Mecch, I hear ya man. I was floored the other day about another post were the guy knew he was positive and up front lied about it. I personally can't see where that is ok. Because he went back and told this guy to go get pep and that made everything ok?. I am talking when some one actually knows they are positive.  I get the before conversion and before you know for sure.  You didn't know.  But to up front lie and still have sex with some one and you didn't disclose, that is wrong.  atleast for me it is.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #64 on: January 29, 2012, 11:58:41 AM »
I only brought this because I have lost sleep over that other post. I can't get it out of my head. I never said to disclose to your neighbors and ect. I said we should disclose to sexual partners before intercourse.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Online Jeff G

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #65 on: January 29, 2012, 11:59:34 AM »
I'm left to wonder why Poz Jeep guy felt the need to start a thread like this one and use the language he chose . I'm thinking given his past posting history he is still trying to work out his anger issues about becoming HIV positive . What ever it is he chose some really hateful and close minded words in trying to work out those issues . It sure isn't pretty .

After reading disclosure threads on the forum for years I changed my mind about how I felt about the issue , but then again I was open to to hear and consider other peoples point of view and was able to learn some things I hadn't considered before .

Are you really surprised that people get offended when you call them immoral and monsters because they have a diffrent point of view ?

Offline buginme2

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #66 on: January 29, 2012, 12:07:08 PM »
  But to up front lie and still have sex with some one and you didn't disclose, that is wrong.  atleast for me it is.

That's fair.

But mistakes do happen.  People are people and sometimes other things can get in the way of that (like intoxication or situational issues).  To paint every situation with a broad brush of its the Poz persons responsibility.  That's not fair.

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #67 on: January 29, 2012, 12:10:02 PM »
I was floored the other day about another post were the guy knew he was positive and up front lied about it. I personally can't see where that is ok. I am talking when some one actually knows they are positive.  I get the before conversion and before you know for sure.  You didn't know.  But to up front lie and still have sex with some one and you didn't disclose, that is wrong.  atleast for me it is.

This is something that is as old as the dawn once this virus reared its ugly head and people started being infected.  Especially with the stigma that being poz carries.  There are many people out there still who cannot handle the rejection that often happens when they disclose.  So they lie, that is, if they know they are poz.  Not withstanding, there are men who do the noble thing and insist upon safe sex, but there are also the rare few who believe in spreading their seed and taking down the whole ship, if they could. And there are also those fucked up bug chasers who are adamant on getting themselves infected because they feel they will be free.

Just look online, I am sure a good percentage of men on these hookup sites are NOT being truthful when it comes to them being negative... especially when you take into consideration it is all too common to see some proudly touting "neg as of [date]" and that date happens to be 50 years ago (okay, so I'm exaggerating, but you get the picture that some people think that since they got tested 24 months ago, they are still neg.)

Take stupidity such as this, people seeking partners that are "clean" or "DDF/UB2" you can imagine why some men don't feel compelled to disclose, especially when the ultimate goal is landing a fuck with someone they're hot for.

So tell me Jake, in this hypothetical situation (taking AIDS out of the situation) if a woman doesn't insist upon a condom and winds up pregnant, is it her fault?  Can the man say it's her fault, if he didn't particularly want a child?

I'm just trying to see how the responsibility angle plays out....
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #68 on: January 29, 2012, 12:13:23 PM »
That's fair.

But mistakes do happen.  People are people and sometimes other things can get in the way of that (like intoxication or situational issues).  To paint every situation with a broad brush of its the Poz persons responsibility.  That's not fair.

Exactly, it just as much my responsibility as it is my NEG other-half' Bob's  responsibility  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #69 on: January 29, 2012, 12:15:02 PM »
I only brought this because I have lost sleep over that other post. I can't get it out of my head. I never said to disclose to your neighbors and ect. I said we should disclose to sexual partners before intercourse.

Who in this thread, or the other one for that matter, said we should not disclose? 


Did you ever resolve that med issue of yours?
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #70 on: January 29, 2012, 12:25:52 PM »
Still not on meds. I have my own issues on that one that after this thread I dont feel comfortable sharing. 

I have no idea about a women getting preggers. I so gay I told understand straight relationships.   I always joke and say god says being straight is wrong and they all are going to hell. Seriously that was a joke.  Let me be clear that was a joke.

Talking about that other thread he said the said I'm neg and he said me too. Then felt horrible about lieing.  I'm not asking anyone to do anything that I myself don't do.

The monster statement was about pozzies Going out and not disclosing and having bare sex and infecting people because they just don't want disclose makes all pozzies look like monsters to the out side communities.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #71 on: January 29, 2012, 12:30:02 PM »
Still not on meds. I have my own issues on that one that after this thread I dont feel comfortable sharing. 


@ PozJeepGuy  your only hurting your own health in the long run ,by not being on any AVRs  ???
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #72 on: January 29, 2012, 12:34:50 PM »

I have no idea about a women getting preggers. I so gay I told understand straight relationships.   I always joke and say god says being straight is wrong and they all are going to hell. Seriously that was a joke.  Let me be clear that was a joke.

That's fair.  I wasn't concerned about the pregnancy itself.  I basically was asking how you felt about if it resulted from a woman not insisting upon her partner using a condom (because AIDS wasn't the main concern hypothetically).  I just wondered where you felt the responsibility would lie in a situation as such, that's all. You can surely see how it could be similar to someone getting infected, as a child could possibly be something which neither partner desired; they were only thinking about the sex.  No big deal.


The monster statement was about pozzies Going out and not disclosing and having bare sex and infecting people because they just don't want disclose makes all pozzies look like monsters to the out side communities.

If you look in the news, it's not only gay men who aren't disclosing.  Remember there have been numerous threads where straight men have received stiff penalties after being prosecuted for deliberately infecting women  and I don't think anyone here on these forums condone that sort of activity.  As most have said, there is no one size fits all scenario, and each individual must decide for themselves when it is proper for them to drop the "A" bomb to any potential partner.
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline PozJeepGuy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #73 on: January 29, 2012, 12:36:55 PM »
Yes I am aware. The first round was so so bad I'm just not ready to go for round two. Next regiment is already picked out.
Jacob Perry

I refuse to wear my HIV as a badge of shame any longer.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #74 on: January 29, 2012, 12:38:18 PM »
I only brought this because I have lost sleep over that other post. I can't get it out of my head. I never said to disclose to your neighbors and ect. I said we should disclose to sexual partners before intercourse.

And therein lies another element of the problem - outside of the judgments, you have also stated that non-disclosure to a sexual partner feeds and reinforces stigma. Yet, you state that you never said to disclose to neighbors and ect. ---- this lack of being out about one's status perpetuates more stigma than non-disclosure to a sexual partner could ever create.

In fact, as shown through the research (go figure - research should actually be applied to thought), putting the responsibility for "safe sex" and disclosure fully on the positive person reinforces and creates stigma.

Disclosure to the general populace reduces stigma significantly. If research citations are needed to back up my previous sentence - please believe me when I say I can supply.

Disclosure to the general populace shows that people with HIV are not monsters, are not to be ostracized, that we contribute to society, that we face many of the same issues that others face, and most of us have the same moral compass as others.

Only disclosing in the context of a darkened bedroom before a ravaging sexual experience, places the issue of a person being HIV+ into a context that makes it one that is seen as something people should fear, run from, and removes all of the other elements of the person being a human who is capable of having positive relationships from the equation.  This reinforces all of the negative stigma surrounding HIV that has gone on for too long.  Criminalization of nondisclosure is the icing on the cake that further magnifies stigma. Maybe we should consider criminalization of nondisclosure of persons who have been unfaithful in relationships?

Supporting the prosecution of persons for nondisclosure is paramount to giving license to the prosecution or segregation of persons with HIV period. It totally removes the other party from any responsibility. Ultimately, if it is the other person's health that might be impacted - than it is their responsibility to take whatever steps needed to protect their health and not put that responsibility on some other party.

I do have a real issue with the whole outlook of I am going to be in the closet with my HIV status to the whole world - with the exception of those that I am getting intimate with - but then I am going to elevate myself to a level of judgment on those who don't disclose in intimate situations and support their prosecution.

Of course, we could solve this whole problem.... we could just tattoo "HIV+" on all of our pozzie foreheads (oh, but that would mean that everyone would know --- and that's right --- you only want to take the high road of disclosure when in the bedroom).... You'll excuse me if I am of the opinion of not giving much weight to people who want to limit their disclosure to the bedroom. Full disclosure - in the open, non-sex act related world goes along way toward making disclosure in the bedroom a non-issue and actually has a tangible impact on reducing/eliminating stigma.

September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #75 on: January 29, 2012, 12:41:59 PM »
Still not on meds. I have my own issues on that one that after this thread I dont feel comfortable sharing. 

I have no idea about a women getting preggers. I so gay I told understand straight relationships.   I always joke and say god says being straight is wrong and they all are going to hell. Seriously that was a joke.  Let me be clear that was a joke.

Talking about that other thread he said the said I'm neg and he said me too. Then felt horrible about lieing.  I'm not asking anyone to do anything that I myself don't do.

The monster statement was about pozzies Going out and not disclosing and having bare sex and infecting people because they just don't want disclose makes all pozzies look like monsters to the out side communities.
You need to be on meds. You are much more of a health risk to yourself and others by not being on meds. Delaying isn't going to stop the side effects from happening the quicker you know about them the quicker you can move on to treatments that work for you.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 12:48:52 PM by AdonisSMU »

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #76 on: January 29, 2012, 12:47:02 PM »
You need to be on meds. You are much more of a health risk to yourself and others by not being on meds.

Not necessarily, Adonis.  Especially when you hold the belief that a high CD4 count + full disclosure means that there is absolutely no risk of transmission from you to your partner(s).  Not directly saying this is the case with anyone on this thread, but there are many people who think this way  :o

Edited to add this snippet taken from this thread to provide weak support for my argument

Interesting I never thought that it could happen with the meds being so good at keeping the VL undetectable!  I have taken a few on and when the VL spiked I scaled back and everything returns to normal again by the time a new series of tests are performed, which for me is every 3 months.
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 12:53:51 PM by Solo_LTSurvivor »
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #77 on: January 29, 2012, 12:49:33 PM »
Seriously, like Solo_LTS says. Personally I had a detectable viral load for over a decade, and had several sero-discordant relationships. Condoms were always used and I never became a monster and passed on my seed.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #78 on: January 29, 2012, 12:55:16 PM »


 Full disclosure - in the open, non-sex act related world goes along way toward making disclosure in the bedroom a non-issue and actually has a tangible impact on reducing/eliminating stigma.


Exactly!  :)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #79 on: January 29, 2012, 12:55:50 PM »
Not necessarily, Adonis.  Especially when you hold the belief that a high CD4 count + full disclosure means that there is absolutely no risk of transmission from you to your partner(s).  Not directly saying this is the case with anyone on this thread, but there are many people who think this way  :o
Really? Does that mean VL is low? VL is a better measure for possibility to transmit I would imagine but I could be wrong here.

Simply disclosing doesn't mean anything as far as the no risk of transmission. There is always risk of transmission whether you know about the HIV or not. You are never going to get around that.

Offline bocker3

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #80 on: January 29, 2012, 01:04:08 PM »
I was floored the other day about another post were the guy knew he was positive and up front lied about it. I personally can't see where that is ok. Because he went back and told this guy to go get pep and that made everything ok?.

This is where you are really showing your inability to see anything other than your predetermined mindset.  That person never said what he did was "OK" -- if he had thought that, he never would have posted.  He MADE A MISTAKE, let me repeat that for you -- HE MADE A MISTAKE, and was guilt-ridden over it.  Instead of offering support you called him an immoral monster.  For someone with as many issues as you have, one would think you would be willing to offer support instead of judging.

You also might want to talk to you therapist about why this incident is keeping you up at night.  Why you feel a need to keep bringing up his mistake and, potentially, make him feel worse.  One realy should clean their own house before attacking someone else -- and even more importantly, one should read the situation properly, instead of twisting it to provide a platform for moral outrage.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #81 on: January 29, 2012, 01:18:17 PM »
I only brought this because I have lost sleep over that other post. I can't get it out of my head.

SRSLY?  You need to get yourself a hobby or something. Reading might be a good thing. 
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #82 on: January 29, 2012, 01:23:03 PM »
SRSLY?  You need to get yourself a hobby or something. Reading might be a good thing. 

... or kittycats. Here are mine:

"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline AdonisSMU

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #83 on: January 29, 2012, 01:27:25 PM »
I remember early last year I met this guy and I wasn't really attracted to him. I asked him about his HIV status right before we were going to start messing around and he said he was positive and that I shouldn't ask it the way I did because most HIV+ guys would've lied and he made it sound like it was my fault. I left after that little exchange and right after I texted him that I was too.

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #84 on: January 29, 2012, 01:30:49 PM »
... or kittycats. Here are mine:



I love me some pussies  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #85 on: January 29, 2012, 01:31:20 PM »
... or kittycats.


... or perhaps dancing?

don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #86 on: January 29, 2012, 01:37:41 PM »
Or Imaginative Stylish Needlepoint......

http://www.ehrmantapestry.com/?mpch=ads
 
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline LM

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #87 on: January 29, 2012, 01:38:03 PM »
How judgmental... we all know people get infected from those who don't know their positive status or simply don't use condoms. Disclosure has nothing to do with this. It's annoying to see someone trying to prove himself that he's better than others by throwing around judgments.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #88 on: January 29, 2012, 01:38:48 PM »
I also have a puppydoggie (and I like colorful bed linens)

"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline WillyWump

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #89 on: January 29, 2012, 01:42:10 PM »
Mornin *yawn* shouldnt all you heathens be in church washing away your sins?

anyways, I win...

POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #90 on: January 29, 2012, 01:45:38 PM »
I also have a puppydoggie (and I like colorful bed linens)


Miss P, somehow I think this guy that I stumbled across (courtesy Dennis' link) has you beat:



Incidentally, what's in that shopping bag next to the baseboard?
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Online wolfter

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #91 on: January 29, 2012, 01:46:33 PM »
Being recently infected, I'll cut you some slack due to the raw emotions that this news brings.  I've always joked that it was drunken college party where I got infected.  I've never admitted here how it really happened.  The person I loved most in the world was already infected and chose to withhold that from me.  All the typical fears of abandonment, etc....  It took me quite a while to forgive and move on but I did.  I came to accept that I COULD have become infected by that hot guy who I had a hot night of raw sex with on my birthday in college, although probably not.  Forgiving the person who probably gave me this virus required me to take accountability and my responsibility for my behaviors and actions also.

The one thing that always bothers about the morality side of any argument is; who will reign over that position?  I'm glad you view it as the moral thing to disclose, as do I.  But how do we collectively decide what is moral and what should the consequences be?  Some might argue that it is the moral responsibility to quit funding expensive HIV drugs since it behavioral issue.  In some cultures it's still moral to stone a cheating wife.  Hopefully that's not your morality?  Too often people confuse morality with judgmentalism.  Our individual codes of ethics and morals is too deeply individualized to form a collective consensus.

I hope your can come to grips with a lot of internal anger that still haunts you.  I learned from experience that it's a bitter place that punishes worst the one who is angry.

Take care and wishing you good mental health.

Wolfie


Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #92 on: January 29, 2012, 01:48:11 PM »
Miss P, somehow I think this guy that I stumbled across (courtesy Dennis' link) has you beat:


Incidentally, what's in that shopping bag next to the baseboard?

What else SEX TOYS  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #93 on: January 29, 2012, 01:49:02 PM »
... or perhaps dancing?



Or start a new collection.  Here's a suggestion.  My understanding is that proper disclosure took place prior to each donation.




Mornin *yawn* shouldnt all you heathens be in church washing away your sins?

anyways, I win...


Byotch, please.  PINCH ME!
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #94 on: January 29, 2012, 01:51:03 PM »

Incidentally, what's in that shopping bag next to the baseboard?

Oh, just my outfit for tonight... sewing and shopping (with my puppydoggy in tow) are my other hobbies:

"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #95 on: January 29, 2012, 01:58:19 PM »
Oh, just my outfit for tonight... sewing and shopping (with my puppydoggy in tow) are my other hobbies:


Faboolous dahling!  Shi shi shi!!  I think I may try that outfit tonight with my new hairdo.

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #96 on: January 29, 2012, 01:59:03 PM »

Or start a new collection.  Here's a suggestion.  My understanding is that proper disclosure took place prior to each donation.




Or even better: piss. 

http://bcove.me/5xx5z18y

I hear it has antiseptic and medicinal qualities that kill anything, including superbugs   ;)
« Last Edit: January 29, 2012, 02:26:49 PM by Solo_LTSurvivor »
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #97 on: January 29, 2012, 02:00:04 PM »
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #98 on: January 29, 2012, 02:05:42 PM »
Being recently infected, I'll cut you some slack due to the raw emotions that this news brings.  I've always joked that it was drunken college party where I got infected.  I've never admitted here how it really happened. 

Wolfie

I got teh AIDS from a toilet seat and a syring half full on herion, with some leather daddies blood in it, as he handed it to me, way back in 1981 (I was still in the Closet and had not come to terms with my queer sexually) he DIED in 95, may he rest-in-peace, and even to this day, I have no animosity toward him at all   it is what it is ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Solo_LTSurvivor

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Re: Disclosure blah blah blah
« Reply #99 on: January 29, 2012, 02:13:21 PM »
I got teh AIDS from a toilet seat and a syring half full on herion, with some leather daddies blood in it...

it is what it is ;)

Recently I saw a post on CL where this neg guy was seeking a leather daddy to party him up and whore him out and force him to take loads so that he would seroconvert in the end and I had thought about originating a thread about how bizarro it is that there are still bug chasers in existence and how people felt.  He actively was recruiting poz men in his ad, and said no load refused.

Glad I didn't now with the way this thread is going  ;D
don't equate intelligence with lack of masculinity
Jim Phelps, Mission Impossible
____________________________

Seroconverted: Early 80s
Tested & confirmed what I already knew: early 90s

Current regimen: Atripla. 
Last regimen:  Epzicom, Sustiva (since its inception with NO adverse side effects: no vivid dreams and NONE of the problems people who can't tolerate this drug may experience: color me lucky ::))
Past regimens
Fun stuff (in the past):  HAV/HBV, crypto, shingles, AIDS, PCP

Jan 2012: 818/21%
Apr 2012: 964/22%
Jul. 2012: 890/21%
Oct. 2012: 920/23%

Still UD after all these years

 


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