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Author Topic: Waiting, Anxious and Worried  (Read 1621 times)

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Offline willbok

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Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« on: March 22, 2012, 08:42:35 AM »
I took the OralQuick rapid HIV test this week.

After the 20 minutes, to my dismay and surprise, the test came back "preliminary positive, with a faint line". Here's some history about myself:

I am a gay male, and have been in what I believed to be a monogamous relationship with a man for the past year and 4 months. I have not slept with anyone besides him since the onset of the relationship. He says the same, adamantly. I have been the top in the relationship, and have had unprotected anal and oral sex with him. Prior to this relationship, I had an unprotected event with a guy, and prior to that over the years, I had mostly protected sex, and several unprotected oral sex events.

Here is an approximate time line of events which cause me concern now:

Oct 29-30 2010:  Had unprotected anal sex with a friend--me the bottom once, then the top two times. Neither ejaculated inside one another. He claims to be HIV negative, even after recently testing this year.
Dec 5-9 2010:  Had oral sex for the first time with my current partner after one month of dating. He did not ejaculate in my mouth.
Jan 4 2011:  Took an HIV oral quick test, results were negative.
NO SEX WITH ANYONE BETWEEN JAN AND MAY
May 22 2011:  Had unprotected anal sex with current partner for first time-me being the top.
May 23 2011-Jul 20 2011: Had unprotected anal and oral sex with current partner, me on top, ejaculating occasionally inside him, and oral sex-he would ejaculate in my mouth.
NO SEX WITH ANYONE BETWEEN JUL AND DEC
Dec 10 2011-Mar 8 2012: Had unprotected anal and oral sex with current partner, me on top, ejaculating occasionally inside him, and oral sex-he would ejaculate in my mouth.
Mar 2012: Tested preliminary positive/faint line after quick oral test. Currently waiting on conclusive result.

Questions:

A. Could I pretty much confirm that the first man I had sex with in October is a non-factor because 9 weeks passed between that event and my negative HIV test in Jan?
B. If I am confirmed positive, is it likely that my current partner was the one that transmitted the disease to me since he is the only one I have had sex with since Dec 2010?
C. I have read that most faint line results after a quick test are usually deemed negative after the conclusive test comes back. Is this still a true statement?
D. Is it possible that another existing illness, such as malaria, hepatitis, severe sinusitis could cause a faint line/preliminary positive result?
E. Is it true that a faint line is a possible indicator of a recent exposure/infection, or could the infection been "sleeping" in my body for a long period of time?
F. What role would having an STD or previously having an STD in this scenario?

I appreciated you comments, suggestions, and answers, as I am going through a living hell at this time. I realize now that I am ignorant to a lot of things regarding unprotected sex. Hopefully my story can be a lesson learned for others.

Thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #1 on: March 22, 2012, 09:59:18 AM »
First of all a preliminary positive result or any positive result always has to be confirmed by having a western blot done. And a positive result on the initial test is always trumped by a negative western blot, since the latter is more specific and sensitive. Lots of things can cause a false positive which is why the western blot is so important. 

The average time to seroconversion is 22 days. All but the very smallest number of those who are going to seroconvert will do so within 4-6 weeks after an exposure. We follow the CDC's recommendation for testing at 3 months after a risk for a conclusive negative result.

The risk is less during unprotected anal for the insertive partner. But lower risk is not the same as no risk so transmission is still possible.

Having some other active STD means the immune system is down and that makes someone more vulnerable to HIV transmission during risky sex.

Unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse are the only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV. 

Will, the next step is to have the western blot done. Hopefully it will come back negative. Good luck with that and keep us posted.

Andy Velez

Offline willbok

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #2 on: March 22, 2012, 10:13:58 AM »
Andy,

I appreciate your response and insight. I will keep you informed about my WB result. The hardest thing now is the waiting. I pray that the results are negative. If not, I will have no choice but to accept the facts.

The other hard pill to swallow is the fact that the person that I feel is the love of my life most likely is the one who may have infected me. This hurts so much.

Thanks.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #3 on: March 22, 2012, 10:23:31 AM »
OK. One thing at a time. First is to get that next result.

And IF, (note that I say IF), the result is positive again, that can be dealt with including in within your relationship with a guy who is very special to you.

But let's do it one step at a time.

Good luck.   
Andy Velez

Offline willbok

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #4 on: March 22, 2012, 10:48:38 AM »
Thanks again Andy. Just to clarify something though. Is there any difference between having a faint line versus a clear solid line result from the quick oral test?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #5 on: March 22, 2012, 11:45:20 AM »
Yes, I would say a faint line can be indicative of a less certain positive or indeterminate result. That's why a western blot is always used to either confirm or when there is any doubt about a positive.
Andy Velez

Offline willbok

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #6 on: March 22, 2012, 07:29:38 PM »
Thanks Andy for the info. I will advise the results of the WB next week. I really appreciate you taking the time to provide this info.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #7 on: March 22, 2012, 08:28:26 PM »
You're welcome.

Good luck with the test result.
Andy Velez

Offline willbok

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #8 on: March 27, 2012, 07:44:07 PM »
Well, after several looooong days of uncertainty, I received my WB results back. I am happy to report that I am negative. I thank Andy for his advice and kind words of hope and encouragement. False positive preliminary results DO indeed happen!

The past 5 days were the most paralyzing days of my life, and I never want to relive them again. I played out so many scenarios in my head about how I would handle the news if it turned out that I was indeed positive. I am so thankful that I did not have to play any of them out.

As I am thankful for my results, however, I am hurting for those who are and will not be in my situation. If you are fortunate enough to receive negative results, learn from your mistakes. I see that time and time again, many people resume putting themselves at risk, and then later complain and cry out for help even though the moderators of this site regularly advise everyone of us about the importance of practicing safe sex and encouraging our partners/lovers to be tested as well. I never thought I would be in this situation, but here I am. The main thing I am taking away from this experience is the importance of communicating with the person laying next to you every night. Each and every one of us has a history, so never feel uncomfortable talking about these subjects with your partner.

Let us all pray and hope that one day this virus will be eradicated. I thank all who fight everyday for those less fortunate, and to those who dedicate their lives to helping and educating people like myself.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #9 on: March 27, 2012, 07:51:12 PM »
That's great news. On with your life now and remember always, always use condoms for intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #10 on: March 28, 2012, 06:59:31 AM »

The main thing I am taking away from this experience is the importance of communicating with the person laying next to you every night.
 

Good to hear that, Will. But I have to ask, has your partner also been recently tested? Just because you tested negative doesn't mean that he is also negative. I was with someone for a year and a half before I found out I was hiv positive - and he tested negative. We never used condoms before I tested positive.

You can't ever know a person's hiv status going by someone else's test results. He needs to test as well. If he is positive, he needs to know. Hiv is no longer a death sentence - when you know you're poz. The main cause of hiv related deaths in Western countries today is hiv that is diagnosed too late.

You should both be tested for ALL the other STIs as well. Some can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

Please urge your partner to get tested.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline willbok

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Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2012, 08:33:48 AM »
Ann, you are absolutely right. After going through this experience, I will be taking my partner to get tested as well. I don't know if I could ever again just take someone's "word" that they are negative again. Although we have a relationship where we can talk about anything to each other, I realize now that my life is far more important to protect.

Thanks to all of you once again.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Waiting, Anxious and Worried
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2012, 09:19:27 AM »
Will,

You're welcome.

His life is important too - and that's just a good a reason for him to test as the reason of you protecting yourself.

Good luck with your talk - and here's hoping he tests and tests negative. Don't forget to also BOTH get tested for all the other much more easily transmitted - and not always present with obvious symptoms - STIs. Maybe you could go get tested together, as a couple, so you can support each other during what may sometimes be a stressful time.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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