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Author Topic: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice  (Read 5896 times)

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Offline mjc

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I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« on: January 25, 2012, 08:23:21 AM »
Hello,

Firstly I should mention I am prone to being very concious about my health especially in relation to HIV and I'm aware alot of this is most probably anxiety.

Just over a month ago I met a guy and gave him oral and he ejaculated in my mouth. Originally I was not concerned but then I developed a cold two weeks later and starting to convince myself I had contracted the virus, although he had told me he tested negative in Dec and tests every three months, as he is quite promiscuous from what I gather.

Then I noticed I was getting very spotty and getting very dry skin while still having a cold, although my docs have assured me it is not a "rash". I convinced myself I had contracted it at this point and suffered from the chills.

After the inital cold I recovered a few days later developed a "dry cough" and it felt like my arm pits and arms were on fire, but I could not feel any lmpyh nodes and neither could my doctor, although I was not in pain with it at the time.  This was mainly at night and I experienced two or three night sweats.

I ended up having to take time of work for anxiety and booked myself in for an inital 28 day duo test here in the uk, which they claim are 99.7% accurate, and it came back negative, which eased my mind for all of about 6 hours as that night I had a seriously dry mouth, really thirsty and could not sleep due to the pain in my arm pits and this time my chest, and I was really sweating.

The reason this is concerning me is that I had a dental check up and my dentist told me I have a bit of gingivitus, nothing to worry about she said, I nearly had a heart attack. I hadn't noticed any bleeding whatsoever, I have sensative teeth and smoke.

My doctor has said I have really dry skin so could be a cause of the burning sensation and that although it was a low theorectical risk to focus on the negative result and then to get retested at 12 weeks for my peace of mind and to ensure accuracy of the first test.

Am I going crazy? I am not undergoing councelling for my anxiety but the back of my mind tells me that all the medical professionals are wrong and that they are not taking me seriously.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #1 on: January 25, 2012, 08:46:22 AM »
You're worrying needlessly about HIV. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present.

There is absolutely nothing HIV-specific about your symptoms. Also ARS symptoms do not come and go. If they are going to show up they show all at once and after maybe 2 weeks more or less they are gone.

It's no surprise that you tested negative. I don't see any need for further testing.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it. Use condoms consistently for those activities and you will be well protected.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #2 on: January 25, 2012, 09:55:32 AM »
Thank you. My dentist said my teeth need a clean and the reason I hadnt noticed bleeding was because I smoke and it stops it. Im concerned about spots that are appeared on my bum but the doctor said it wasnt a rash, usually they are more diffuse? The sweats, armpit pain, cough and spots did come at the same time. Would I be more likely to have contracted it like this?
Do you know if the duo tests are accurate if having symptoms at the time?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #3 on: January 25, 2012, 10:03:44 AM »
Thank you. My dentist said my teeth need a clean and the reason I hadnt noticed bleeding was because I smoke and it stops it. Im concerned about spots that are appeared on my bum but the doctor said it wasnt a rash, usually they are more diffuse? The sweats, armpit pain, cough and spots did come at the same time. Would I be more likely to have contracted it like this?
Do you know if the duo tests are accurate if having symptoms at the time?
You never had an exposure and don't need testing.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #4 on: January 25, 2012, 10:07:58 AM »
Thanks guys. I still will be getting tested to check but your advice is massively reassuring.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #5 on: January 25, 2012, 12:41:37 PM »
Well an HIV test is strictly for your peace of mind.

You should be aware that other STDs are much easier to acquire. It's a good idea for anyone who is sexually active to at least once a year have a full STD panel done for an all clear. You might think of doing that with your HIV test if you haven't done them all for a year or more.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #6 on: January 25, 2012, 01:29:50 PM »
I have been checked for them all and all clear. Im worried as my oeal hygiene isnt the best and I need a filling I may have been at risk. Plus I have never felt pain in my armpits like that before. It was horrendous and was shooting right down my sides and I was so thirsty and had chest pain and was boiling hot. And the armpits hurt every now and again and it concerns me. Never have I had pain like that, I had to get in a cold shower to ease the pain. I dont know if that could be anxity but it scared the life out of me.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #7 on: January 27, 2012, 01:06:44 PM »
My dentist told me I had gum disease, the one up from gingivitus. I am still getting throbbing under my arms and still have a dry cough. Im obviously concerned again. Are there any reports of transmisdion this way?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #8 on: January 27, 2012, 02:15:27 PM »
You're worrying needlessly about HIV. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV if it is present.

There is absolutely nothing HIV-specific about your symptoms. Also ARS symptoms do not come and go. If they are going to show up they show all at once and after maybe 2 weeks more or less they are gone.

It's no surprise that you tested negative. I don't see any need for further testing.

The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it. Use condoms consistently for those activities and you will be well protected.

I've nothing more to add about your situation. You keep coming up with more details and what ifs which do not change the basic situation that your risk was strictly in the realm of theoretical rather than actual. Whatever is causing your swollen lymph nodes is not HIV. 
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #9 on: February 16, 2012, 11:49:43 AM »
Hi guys,
My 6 week test 4th gen elisa came back negative. I wanted to thank you for your support with this forum.
I have one more question, which indirectly relates. I have been suffering from symptoms similar to hepititis.. Although these results also came back negative at 6 weeks. And discovered I have low immunity to hep b so am doing the vaccine again. If it is discovered I have contracted hepititis after I recieve my liver enzyme results and they do more tests, would furthet hiv testing be required as I have heard it is more likely to transmit in t
he presence of another infection?
I have been advised I do not need to retest at the clinic but these new ongoing symptoms have brought back my concern and the information you get from various sources is so inconsistent.
Thank you for your time.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #10 on: February 16, 2012, 03:08:08 PM »
Hi guys,
My 6 week test 4th gen elisa came back negative. I wanted to thank you for your support with this forum.
I have one more question, which indirectly relates. I have been suffering from symptoms similar to hepititis.. Although these results also came back negative at 6 weeks. And discovered I have low immunity to hep b so am doing the vaccine again. If it is discovered I have contracted hepititis after I recieve my liver enzyme results and they do more tests, would furthet hiv testing be required as I have heard it is more likely to transmit in t
he presence of another infection?
I have been advised I do not need to retest at the clinic but these new ongoing symptoms have brought back my concern and the information you get from various sources is so inconsistent.
Thank you for your time.
There is no need to do any HIV test, you never had an exposure.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #11 on: February 16, 2012, 03:08:53 PM »
They are two separate issues. You were not at risk for HIV. Even if you do test positive for Hep B that would not change that you were not at risk for HIV.

Good luck on Hep B. It's wise that you're doing the vaccine again. It's not uncommon that has to be repeated due to losing immunity to it.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #12 on: February 16, 2012, 03:33:52 PM »
Thank you Andy. I know you guys base it on facts so I wanted to be sure. I tested neg for hep b at 6 weeks but I have had symptoms so get liver enzyme test tomorro even though they assure me the antigen would have been present.
Its brilliant that you guys base things on facts rather than speculation and this forum has really helped with my anxiety. So thank you.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #13 on: February 16, 2012, 03:41:45 PM »
OK. Glad you found the exchanges here to be helpful, MJ.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #14 on: February 17, 2012, 04:06:37 PM »
Liver enzymes normal. Once again I wanted to thank you guys on your support and advice on this forum. Anxiety can play tricks on you and you guys are legends. I'm signing off now having learnt a valuable lesson. All the best  :)

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #15 on: February 29, 2012, 06:21:47 PM »
Hi guys,
Bit of insight needed here- know you're busy so will keep it quick.
Had to go back to the clinic today as Ive had issues, turns out they think it is ballantis. This in itself I am not concerned about as tight forskin, had it before and just wanted their opinion on treatments.
Obviously I had a full screening at a different clinic a few weeks ago and had put it all behind me as per my previous post. I gave the nurse my full history including the incident and the tests and timeframes and just wanted to get on my way.
She insisted I had a full blood check, I didnt push for it, and told me I should never have been told not to retest at my usual clinic, despite having all the information available to her.
Bit confused as I had put the whole episode behind me. Is this because some clinics use different tests? She didnt do a urine check so Im really really confused. I wouldnt have even been concerned about HIV but shes forced it back into my head.
Any opinions on this? You guys know the score and every single person you speak to in clinics has a different opinion.
 Guess she could just be covering her back? Seems like a waste of NHS money to me as surely she would recommend I wait the full 12 weeks surely.
Really wishing I hadnt gone and Id just popped to the shop for some Aquas cream, as thats all I got anyway!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #16 on: February 29, 2012, 06:40:51 PM »
You never had an exposure. End of subject.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #17 on: February 29, 2012, 06:58:30 PM »
Rod I need to take you with me to that woman!
I'd actually pay to have someone like you just slap me every time I get worried! Thanks for the super quick response.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #18 on: February 29, 2012, 07:22:50 PM »
And in the meantime you really do need to get on with your life.

Period.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #19 on: March 01, 2012, 06:05:14 AM »
Thanks Andy. I really had put it all behind me.
I just dont understand her reasoning and it concerned me that she was so insistant.
Thanks for your patience and time.

Offline Ann

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #20 on: March 01, 2012, 06:59:07 AM »
mjc,

Sometimes health care providers aren't quite as informed concerning hiv transmission issues as they should be, and sometimes they just cannot see past their own prejudice and fear of hiv to accept the science behind hiv transmission. (Kinda like some of the people who post here!)

You're going to encounter these people in the NHS (and the private health sector) from time to time - I know I do.

When it's a case of them being blinded by stigma and prejudiced I've found there's not much you can do to change their thinking, but if it's a case of simply not being up-to-date, sometimes you can get through to them.

Even if you DID have a risk (you didn't), that six week negative is not going to change.

By the way, if you haven't already, you should get vaccinated against hep B.

You should also have been tested for all the other, much more easily transmitted STIs. Some can be present with no obvious symptoms - notably syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia - and you can get them in your throat as well, again with no obvious symptoms. The ONLY way to know whether or not you've picked up one of these is to test.

As I haven't previously posted in your thread (missed it somehow - sorry), I'll give you my usual talk on how to avoid hiv infection just in case you haven't read it in another thread.

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER HIV TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #21 on: March 01, 2012, 07:34:47 AM »
Ann thanks for your response. I was in the north east of England so your comments make perfect sense. As soon as I saw MSM get written down I kinda knew she would give me a grilling, despite all the info I gave her about my full panel of checks already done and no risks since.
I suppose being over vigilant is never a bad thing but to dismiss all previous checks and insist on another lot, even though if there had been a risk I would still not have cleared the window period anyway.
Frustrating. But thank you once again. Next time I will just go to the chemist. (unless there has been a risk of transmission of any kind)

Offline Ann

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #22 on: March 01, 2012, 09:52:51 AM »
mjc,

Sounds like a good plan.

BTW, balanitis can be caused both by not washing enough - and also by washing too much. Sometimes soaps can aggravate it - and if I'm reading you correctly that you have a tight foreskin, you may be inadvertently leaving soap reside behind.

All you really need to do is use plain water and maybe a quick swipe with a flannel. You don't really need to use soap on the head, but if you feel you must, get yourself an unscented, pH balanced wash, available at Boots and most other chemists, and make sure you rinse well.

Make sure you're using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you shouldn't have a risk in future. Make sure you're using them correctly (read those links I mentioned) and you shouldn't have to worry about broken condoms either, as a correctly used condom rarely breaks.

Good luck, and get on with your life!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #23 on: March 01, 2012, 10:39:40 AM »
Cheers Ann.
Consider it done.  :D
All the best

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2012, 01:45:26 PM »
Guys just letting you know the test at 9 weeks came back negative for everything.
I still have these abdominal issues so will be running a full panel next week to rule everything out.
Worried I could have Hep due to these pains.
Just so Im clear, a 12 week test for everything would be conclusive right?
I know you are going to tell me I didnt have a risk and to get on with my life but I need the reassurance of a conclusive test.
Thanks in advance.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2012, 02:07:33 PM »
I expect you to continue to test negative for HIV at 12 weeks. HIV is not your problem. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #26 on: March 16, 2012, 08:12:07 AM »
Guys,
Conclusively tested negative at 12 weeks, from a no risk incident, but I had to check!
Thank you for your patience and time responding to all my concerns, this forum is amazing.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #27 on: March 16, 2012, 09:39:56 AM »
Good. Glad to know you got the inevitable all clear. Now get on with your life and make sure you are always using condoms for intercourse.
Andy Velez

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #28 on: March 19, 2012, 04:55:42 AM »
Hi guys,
was wondering if you can point me in the right direction for window periods for all other STDs... I cant seem to find anything on BASSH and info all over the web says different.
Just trying to be careful and make sure Im 100% ok.
Sorry I know this is a HIV only forum but I thought you guys may be able to help.
Thanks very much.

Offline Ann

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #29 on: March 19, 2012, 06:07:08 AM »
mjc,

Most of the other, much more easily transmitted STIs can be tested for ten days to two weeks after sexual activity. You can be tested sooner only if symptoms, such as an unusual discharge, appear.

You need to know that some STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, notably syphilis, gonorrhea and chlamydia. Up to 80% of people never have any obvious symptoms of gonorrhea and chlamydia, so the ONLY way to know is to test.

Syphilis shares a three month window period with hiv for a conclusive negative result.

As you've already been told (reply #20), any sexually active adult should be having a COMPLETE STI panel of testing done at least once a year (twice is better) or more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #30 on: March 19, 2012, 06:22:54 AM »
Thank you Ann,
Im concerned about the hep windows. My clinic refused to test me at 3 months for anything other than HIV as I had a full screening done at 9 weeks and they say there is no need as I have recently had the vaccination, after the event.
Guess I will have to ride it out till may when they check the vaccine worked.
Thank you once again for your help. I should imagine its irritating having to repeat yourself all the time!

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #31 on: March 22, 2012, 05:56:05 AM »
Hello moderators,
Hope you are all well. I have a request if possible, could I get a 28 day time out? I keep getting tempted to post after a conclusive negative result and I really need to move on.
You all have been a massive help to me and I really am gratefull for all the work you do.
Thank you once again!
Mj  8)

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #32 on: March 27, 2012, 02:49:22 PM »
Guys and Gal I need some help,
Docs cant figure out whats wrong... Results all came back fine.
Now had random pain around abdomen, upper right quadrent, itchy skin, random rashes for 7 weeks.
Really want to let go of this and move on with my life. Hep C is not a possibility in my case is it? Can I rule out possible delayed seroconversion? Is that just a myth anyway?
Sorry to ask you guys again but it is because I trust you to give it to me straight.
Thanks,
MJ

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #33 on: March 27, 2012, 05:39:08 PM »
Whatever is going on with you has nothing to do with HIV. If you are having physical symptoms you should be discussing them with your doctor.

HIV is not your problem and there is nothing more we can do for you in this setting.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #34 on: March 28, 2012, 06:47:04 AM »
mjc,

While nothing you did was a risk for hepatitis, you may as well test for hep B and hep C anyway, to rule them out if nothing else. Everyone should be periodically tested for hep B and C.

Keep working with your doctor to find out what, if anything, is going on with you. Whatever that may be, it is NOT hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #35 on: March 28, 2012, 09:29:16 AM »
Thanks ann. Have done a full panel at the three month mark. No issues. I guess everything would have been picked up now so I hope the docs find an answer soon.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #36 on: July 21, 2012, 06:03:36 PM »
Hey guys,
Hoping Im right in using the same thread as before.
Brief question, I had protected receptive anal with someone I met but before that he was teasing me with his penis. What concerns me is there was alot of pressure and precum and the tip of his penis may have entered me slightly, not fully and I quickly grabbed the condom and carried on. Obviously I can tell the difference between penetration and rubbing and he was also using his hand so Im unsure of my risk. Awaiting a six week test result. Do I need to test again at three months? It was very brief if at all. Im just not sure if it was his penis or his fingers. It lasted a total of no more than 10 seconds before the condom went on and it didnt break.
Should I consider this a risk?
Thanks in advance.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #37 on: July 21, 2012, 06:06:41 PM »
Had you been penetrated you would have known.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #38 on: July 21, 2012, 06:14:12 PM »
Yes Im aware of that Rod, It was more of teasing without entering and fingering. So am I safe in assuming no risk? The very tip of his penis may have entered me slightly, Im not sure as I couldnt see and as soon as I felt pressure I went for the condom. I wasnt sure if this classed as dipping.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #39 on: July 21, 2012, 06:16:57 PM »
Then you are aware that you didn't have an exposure.

Offline mjc

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Re: I'm driving myself insane, need some sound advice
« Reply #40 on: July 21, 2012, 06:19:45 PM »
Cheers Rod

 


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