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Author Topic: Another study . . .  (Read 1806 times)

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Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,358
  • 28 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Another study . . .
« on: January 20, 2012, 10:56:49 AM »
 . . . that talks a bit about survivor's guilt, but also focuses on my (or should I say our) generation as well.

http://www.pinknews.co.uk/2012/01/20/us-study-sexual-minority-stress-risk-for-older-gays/

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline leatherman

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  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #1 on: January 20, 2012, 03:17:57 PM »
Quote
Some men were affected by losing peers to AIds
what a crazy caption to that picture. ::) "some" seems to be inappropriate.

I can't imagine that any gay man, aged 44-75, has gotten by in life without being "affected by losing peers to AIds" (which by the way, has the typo of not capitalizing the 'D' and 'S' in AIDS). There's a pretty big hole in that time range with a lot of "missing" gay men, so that any gay man (regardless of status), in the range of 45 and up, sure ought to realize that they are affected by the loss of those people. (I might even venture to say that any gay man 35 and up ought to be able to realize that there's a lot of missing gay men of a certain age; but that could just be my wishful thinking.)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,075
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #2 on: January 20, 2012, 03:41:35 PM »
I don't stress about aging.  I'm grateful for it.  Being told at 21 that you could possibly live to be 30 sure changes the mindset about it.

I also don't think we can always avoid the survivor's guilt that arises from time to time. 

Wolfie
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #3 on: January 20, 2012, 04:08:37 PM »
Well, I didn't come Out & Proud  as a Gay men until I was 32 w/ teh AIDS, so when I started losing peers, BFs, and everyone as being new to the gay scene, and I must say back then, it was a bit overwhelming, as I found myself being a caregiver and watching others die, so yeah , I can relate to whole  -sexual-minority-stress-risk-for-older-gays , cause I'm an old fart, I should have died yrs ago, but that didn't happen ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

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  • Posts: 3,234
  • 30 Years Poz
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #4 on: January 20, 2012, 09:31:24 PM »
Mark,

Another study telling us what we already know.  However, the issue of being validated by society by recognition of your relationships really hit home for Stephen and I.  It is THE final reason that we decided to move back to Canada.  I knew that equal rights for gays, in the states, would not happen in my lifetime and I wasn't willing to wait.  We were lucky in that I had that option and I can't tell you how different it is, to just be us, two married guys and to be treated just like everyone else.

Joe
Life is what happens, when you are busy making other plans.

Though you may be only one person in the entire world, to one person, you may be the entire world.

I wish to become half the man, that my dog thinks I am.

Remember me with simple acts of kindness and I will live forever.

Offline aztecan

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  • Posts: 5,358
  • 28 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #5 on: January 21, 2012, 12:09:15 PM »
I agree, much of the study was full of things we already knew, but, if the general public starts to be aware of this, it might help.

Well, I can dream, can't I.  :o

I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.

But, I do worry about the day, should it come, that I can't care for myself, which was something they did bring up in the study.

And we just keep on keeping on.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #6 on: January 21, 2012, 12:25:42 PM »


Oh don't worry Mark, we'll just buy a large compound and pool all of our money together and  invite whomever we want and live out the rest of ours days in LGBT- older AIDS bliss  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #7 on: January 21, 2012, 12:29:20 PM »
I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.
this year on my bday in March when I turn 50, I'll be celebrating 14 yrs since I was in the hospital with a group of doctors telling me that would probably be the last bday I ever had. ::)  ;D

In spite of any and all other issues I have (like the daily sadness that resides within me because all my friends and my two partners are now all long gone), I love getting older every year.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,926
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #8 on: January 21, 2012, 12:30:11 PM »
we'll just buy a large compound and pool all of our money together and  invite whomever we want and live out the rest of ours days in LGBT- older AIDS bliss  ;)
tick, tick, tick
we better get working on this plan soon. None of us are getting any younger. LOL
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
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Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #9 on: January 22, 2012, 12:30:11 PM »
I don't worry about aging, in fact, I relish it. I have found it surprisingly liberating in some ways.

I agree.   The things that used to consume my time and stress me when I was younger don't seem nearly as important.  Maybe it's just a matter of accumulating life experiences, and getting a better understanding of what really matters to me. 

Quote
But, I do worry about the day, should it come, that I can't care for myself, which was something they did bring up in the study.

Me too.  :(

Hugs,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline harleymc

  • Member
  • Posts: 175
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #10 on: January 23, 2012, 12:58:14 AM »
"endangering the mental health of middle-aged and older gay men."

That horrible era when we were dealing with multiple deaths of significant others per week.... aaaaaargh. Then to top it off we were also caring for others and lobbying when our own health was seriously compromised. Mix in economic stress and some really blatent discrimination and violence.

I reckon that all things considered we've done rather well, I tip my hat to us all!
Well done us!

It's all right to miss our loved ones. Memories of them can also give us a smile, comfort us and strengthen our will.


Offline aztecan

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,358
  • 28 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Another study . . .
« Reply #11 on: January 23, 2012, 02:56:43 PM »
"endangering the mental health of middle-aged and older gay men."

That horrible era when we were dealing with multiple deaths of significant others per week.... aaaaaargh. Then to top it off we were also caring for others and lobbying when our own health was seriously compromised. Mix in economic stress and some really blatent discrimination and violence.

I reckon that all things considered we've done rather well, I tip my hat to us all!
Well done us!

It's all right to miss our loved ones. Memories of them can also give us a smile, comfort us and strengthen our will.

I agree, hats off to us!

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

 


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