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Author Topic: Hard to be LTS almost 30 years with no partner:  (Read 136 times)

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Offline jm1953

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  • Posts: 287
Hard to be LTS almost 30 years with no partner:
« on: February 10, 2016, 11:11:05 PM »
Haven't been on for awhile.  Good to see familiar names.

Never did I think I would not be partnered at age 63.  But, my last relationship of 10 years ended miserably.  Thought this was the one to really settle down and take care of each other.  I was much further along with the virus than him who was practically a newbie.  Long story short, he couldn't deal with seeing or living with someone in the advanced stage of the virus.

Whatever the case, I have dated since, but no connection.  Now I am too sick and tired to even pursue a relationship.  Nor do I know I want one.  Just wish things would have worked out differently.

I asked my HIV doctor how the rest of his long term patients are doing 25 years POZ and up.  He said the majority are partnered which makes a huge difference in
a patients attitude knowing there is someone there for them that understands and will help them through it.

I've gone into a major depression which does not help things.  But my doctor is not surprised.  Fortunately I have a small network of friends and physicians who have helped feel the void.

For those of you partnered, I envy you.  Going through this alone and living with a double stigma having depression and an LTS is Hell. 

I wanted to ask the forum if there are other single Long Term Survivors like myself, and how you are dealing with it.  Maybe we can help each other.

Hugs to all.
Positive 29 years. Diagnosed 10/1987.  Current CD 4: 720: Viral load: almost 100.  Current drug regimen, Tivicay, Emtriva, Endurant, Wellbutrin, Clonazepam, Uloric, Losartan Potassium,Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Offline BT65

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Re: Hard to be LTS almost 30 years with no partner:
« Reply #1 on: Yesterday at 06:25:23 AM »
Hi JM,
I haven't been in a relationship for quite a few years and I'm doing fine. But I've gotten to the point where I'm comfortable enough with myself to not need a romantic relationship. 

I don't pursue relationships...I don't want to have to feel like I'm accountable like for other people's time, making sure someone is happy, etc.   I've had several health issues but I have good friends, a lot of which are on these forums.  And even though we live in different areas of the country they have helped as much as they can.  I also have a roommate who has been my best friend for over 20 years.  When I broke my leg, then had to have a rod put in, she was very helpful. 

I also lived alone when I broke my hip and had to have a plate put in. That's when a couple of the people on the forums helped me. Plus I had others from the forums checking on my well being which was nice.
I guess that's how I've gotten through the more recent years. The relationships I've had weren't necessarily healthy other than a couple.  I don't have a good picker so it's probably to my best interest to stay single.  Good luck. Being alone isn't so bad.

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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