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Author Topic: Life is tough...  (Read 4471 times)

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Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Life is tough...
« on: January 10, 2012, 08:30:11 PM »
That is the title of an article by Danny Wuerffel (Heisman Trophy winner and former NFL player) on CNN.com. He talks about his experience with Guillian Barre Syndrome. He also muses on the American view that life should always be happy, good, fun...easy. Television, magazines...even from pastors...barrage us with that message...think soft-drink or beer commercials. That this constant drum beat can make an already tough moment into an unbearable one.

I think part of the reason I'm mentioning this article is that a friend of mine, who's negative, lost his job this past summer. A very, very good job. He's always moved up in his line of work. This is his first setback and he is in his late fifties. What is aggravating to me is his feeling that his world is crumbling around him and there's nothing he can do to stop it. Yes, the world he lived while employed is no longer available (fancy dinners, yearly trip to Europe) but he still has more options available to him than most. I've avoided giving him back the advice he had given me when I was unemployed for extended periods. It wasn't good advice to give then and, even as payback, it's still not good advice today. But I can't see him having a tough time of it even though he's unemployed. He has too many options still open to him.

I guess what I'm trying to figure out is...when is life truly tough. Was it tough for the first settlers in America or was it just a hard life with the hope of making something better. Is it tough because of what you're dealt in life or is it tough in how you deal with the life your dealt. Some people might say I've been dealt a tough hand having contracted AIDS. But from my experience and viewpoint...not really. Especially when compared to what my best friend has experienced having AIDS. Being horribly ill, losing one eye to fungus, lying in the hospital bed, just skin and bones, waiting for death to relieve him of the agony and pain. He did recover from that period, now he's built like a brick sh*thouse and some would say things couldn't be better for him. But I know that's not true.

Looking back on my life I think I've had a good one. My parents loved me and each other. I always had food on the table. We lived in our own house. I felt safe. Everything was and is stable in that regard. Of course there were blips. That very, very bad reaction to penicillin when 2. Almost drowning when 8. Near death from a rear end collision. Spent my 20th year summer in the hospital...3 times. Hepatitis, Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever and something they could never figure out but knew I was gravely ill. Compared to those blips though, AIDS has been a walk in the park for me.

Not that I wouldn't jump at the chance to be negative. But I don't want to start living in a what-if world. Some times my life hasn't been easy. Times when I've been very sad. But, despite everything that has happened in my life, I don't think I can say I've ever had it tough. Maybe I'm just pollyannaish. Or, maybe, I see that there is someone worse off than me...and that keeps me from getting in to self-pitying.

Anyway, anyone else have a take on "life is tough?"...
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline denb45

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2012, 08:59:22 PM »
I try not to take things to seriously tho, for me just getting up & breathing, and being able to do for my otherhalf (I'm he's caregiver)
keeps me going, I kinda have a very jaded view of life (I always have)

 I've learned that, if I can put food on the table, pay the rent/mortgage, gas & electric, Gas in my Truck, and buy whatever it is I need, that's good enough for me, as long as I could get what I needed, even when I worked, that was all I ever wanted in life.

my otherhalf Bob told me the other day, I love you, your a very modest type of man you don't require a lot of things..... ( like many of my other BF's did)... now I know I'll never have that white-picket fence, and a 2 car Garage, but, I'm ok with this @ the rip old age of 55..it is what it is, and it aint what it aint, life is good & I'm intering into the twilight part of my life, I used to question why I was still ALIVE
but, now I think I know why  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline wolfter

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #2 on: January 11, 2012, 10:58:18 AM »
Whenever I start having those thoughts, I'm reminded of a lot of loved ones who died way too early and didn't have the opportunity to face the challanges we do, but also missed out on the opportunity to experience this life.

I always have a ready answer when people complain to me that life is tough; It's better than the alternative.

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline lilguru

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #3 on: January 11, 2012, 12:27:20 PM »
Sometimes I think that friends and family who were there at the beginning of this adventure (HIV) think that my life has been good, wonderful and all that hype, because I haven't "suffered".  I am thankful and grateful for all I have and that I lived through the worst part of the epidemic.  I wish sometimes though that the friends and family could really understand and see inside the life I have had and understand how "tough" it has really been.
September 1987 - HIV+

Offline Buckmark

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #4 on: January 11, 2012, 12:32:14 PM »
I try to take the view that "Life is....".  Sometimes life is difficult. Sometimes life is easy.  Sometimes life is wonderful.  Sometimes life is tragic.  It's natural to want it to be better, but if you get caught up in that thinking, you may never appreciate what is good in your life right now.

That said, I think Danny Wuerffel is a blowhard.  But he's a preacher, so that's about all I expect.

When is life tough?  Clearly a rhetorical question.  Just like a recent thread on "How much money is really enough?".

Regards,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline denb45

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 12:39:32 PM »
I think life is whatever you wanna make it, if you don't expect to much, then you won't get much , I never wanted to set myself up to FAIL, but, I did FAIL anyway, and when I did I picked myself up off the ground and  pulled up my boot-straps, and tried life AGAIN, as long as I'm alive, I'm not gonna give up on life, it's the natural order of things isn't it  ???
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2012, 02:38:49 PM »
My take on "life is tough" is it's a fleeting topic.  Sometimes life is tough, but perspective is everything.  I can always find folks whose life appears worse than mine, but what's the point?  All that matters to me, is that I know that I am good enough, by simply existing.  I am not defined by how others see me, only by how I see myself.  I've made some horrible mistakes and learned a lot of things the hardest way possible.  While I may have failed at some ventures, I have never been a failure, because I refuse to be defined simply by my actions.

I have had a very eventful life and sure there have been some really "tough" times, but those feelings and situations are intertwined with the rest of living.  No matter how rough things may be, I always have the love of those close to me and with that support, I can weather just about any storm.  I've lived long enough to understand that shit happens and it really pays to choose your battles wisely.  I know the cost of allowing your viewpoint to dampen your spirit and I know I will never know just how powerful I am, until I'm not powerful enough.

I'm a true optimist which does not mean I am not realistic.  Yes life can be tough, but as judged against what and by whom?  I like my life and I've done the best I can, with what I have.  I finally understand the concept of loving the life you live, rather than worrying about the life you thought you would have.  For me, perspective is everything.

Joe

Offline Theyer

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #7 on: January 12, 2012, 11:34:46 AM »
I applaud your patience LTS , personally when rich friends react to set backs by grizzling I long to drug them dump then in a homeless cardboard city with a note stating the times off the soup kitchen visits.

However like you I was loved as a child ,knew before 5 that there where bombs in the road and generally have tried to develop an approach off making the best off what ever I am dealt.

An interest in polotics, history , and travel also help to keep in perspective financial issues , ditto health problems can take on a new shade when viewed globally.

But real depression is hard and even I would try to see if said friend had gone there before I would get all revolutionary on him . But he does sound that he is being a bore. So action will at least have to be thought about because  forgiveness for remaining in the land off the Boring ,well I am sure I need say no more.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2012, 11:45:48 AM by Theyer »
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #8 on: January 15, 2012, 01:03:41 PM »
My life isn't tough @ all, never really was, I recall being very sick 12 yrs. ago, and now suffer from other non-AIDS- related health problems as some of you other LTS of this disease suffer from, is it really AIDS
 or MED related, well that's up to the medical experts to decide, I'm not RICH nor I'm I Poor, I'm just 55
yrs. old and comfortable in my own skin.....life is good  :)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Theyer

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  • Current ambition. Walk the Dog .
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #9 on: January 19, 2012, 03:25:15 PM »
What is a " blowhard " please .
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline denb45

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #10 on: January 20, 2012, 09:35:23 AM »
What is a " blowhard " please .

 ;D ;D ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Buckmark

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  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #11 on: January 21, 2012, 10:04:37 PM »
What is a " blowhard " please .

A blowhard is someone who is boastful, a braggart, self-important, likes to hear themselves. talk.

Politicians are usually good examples.   ;)



"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #12 on: January 21, 2012, 11:35:56 PM »
A blowhard is someone who is boastful, a braggart, self-important, likes to hear themselves. talk.

Politicians are usually good examples.   ;)

Thank You Henry  ;)  very well said  8)

Newt Gingrich
Mitt Romney   
Rick Santorum      
Ron Paul      
Rick Perry

are all blowhard's
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline bear60

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #13 on: January 22, 2012, 01:29:20 PM »
My former partner Paul, who died of complications from AIDS, used to wear a T Shirt that said "LIFE'S A BITCH AND THEN YOU DIE". 
He also had a T shirt with Tammy Fay Bakers face smeared all over it (remember that one?)
Humor got us thru some rough spots.
I will never say that having HIV is easy. Never.  And those of us who have changed our lives to accomodate HIV in some way, are survivors.  But to say HIV made my life better, no. Never.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #14 on: January 22, 2012, 01:33:55 PM »


 ;D Joel....lol I remember those T-shirts, we even had them on the left-coast (Nor-Cal) back in the day  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline wolfter

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #15 on: January 22, 2012, 01:35:02 PM »

He also had a T shirt with Tammy Fay Bakers face smeared all over it (remember that one?)

Thanks for the memory.  I had that shirt, it read something like "I ran into Tammy Faye at the mall".

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Theyer

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #16 on: January 22, 2012, 04:56:32 PM »
Thankyou Henry and Dennis, its a good thing I asked I thought it meant someone who dressed in a hair shirt, never seeing any joy in life , moaning all the time and having a limited repertoire when it came to fellatio.
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline weasel

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #17 on: January 23, 2012, 06:52:50 PM »
Anyway, anyone else have a take on "life is tough?"...

    For the most part my life has been rather good .

    Growing up in Connecticut  having the best of most everything .

    A good education , A stint in the NAVY !   Yup that was fun  :)

     I settled in Las Vegas , Met Bob , We worked our asses off for what we had .

     When I could no longer work we moved to Possum Village ,Missouri  8)

       Bob has heart issues ,with that comes way more issues than I have !

     Life is not easy with HIV , But life can still be  FUN  . 

       Most of my friends died back early in the days before  HARRT

      At time depression has made my life tough ! , It is a rather  hard thing to deal
      with !

        If one were to ask what would you rather be cured of ?   
       I would pick depression over HIV/AIDS !! 

        I would rather be happy and die than die being depressed  :-\

                                                         Weasel  :-*

     P.S. Life is what you make it !
            I have few regrets ..........


 Edited to say :
                     If this topic were asked when I went from HIV POZ to FULL BLOWN AIDS , I would have a bitter hateful answer !
    BUT time has faded that awful time .............
 I have moved on , in more ways than one . 
   No longer living among people,  life is very different now . I have found being happy  is possible .   
     
« Last Edit: January 23, 2012, 07:05:17 PM by weasel »
" Live and let Live "

Offline chiarasun

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  • POZ+ since 1984 & still smiling 1 day at a time :)
Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #18 on: January 27, 2012, 11:47:34 PM »
always have some tough times and sick days, but thru it all i still feel blessed cuz i was able to have 2 boys, now 24 & 21 and thru them i have and continue to experience unconditional love... always dreamin for more, but definitely blessed for what i have

Offline ARMANDO

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #19 on: January 29, 2012, 10:34:10 AM »
every time i get the feeling that my life is too hard and tough to handle,i think of some thing i may have read somewhere,"I COMPLAINED AND COMPLAINED THAT I HAD NO SHOES UNTIL I MET A MAN THAT HAD NO FEET!!!this always gives me a reality check and i find that things could always be so much worse and i force myself to look at things in a different light.Some days are better than others but ultimately i am grateful that i am still alive .i miss all of my friends that have passed and i think of them often but continue on!!

Offline deibster

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #20 on: February 02, 2012, 08:47:04 PM »
Life is good! After 30 years of hard work I received a decent disability package with health benefits. It is not the high-life that I dreamed of, worked hard for, but it has good points, good friends at my ASO, good neighbors. I will be forever grateful that my sons (29 yrs & 32 yrs) love me despite my HIV and have Better jobs than I ever had.

Life was tough in '77 when I got out of the navy with a college degree & could not get a decent job. I washed dishes in Texas in a 100 degree kitchen for $3 per hour. I got depressed and I think that work with depression was as tough as my brother's medical school.

I agree, a cure for Depression would mean more to me than a cure for AIDS ! I don't know which has harmed my kidneys more, 17 yrs of hiv meds or 35 yrs of anti-depressants.      Hugs from Provincetown, Deiby  :D
« Last Edit: February 02, 2012, 08:49:02 PM by deibster »
Poz since Dec 1992. Meds since 1995. Disability since 2005.

Prezista/Norvir, Epzicom, Cytomel, Prevacid, pravastatin, Fenofibrate, Remeron, Zoloft, Concerta, doxazosin, Allegra180, Nasocort, Centrum, Flax Oil, Fish Oil

Offline wolfter

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Re: Life is tough...
« Reply #21 on: February 03, 2012, 12:49:30 AM »
Just going through my Charlie Pride songs on youtube and found one of my favorites that includes the phrase about life being tough.  I always thought Charlies was/is one hot MFer.  ;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TDbQ2YD_xL8
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

 


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