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Author Topic: Oral sex and a tiny bit more  (Read 2466 times)

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Offline taytay123

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Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« on: January 10, 2012, 10:04:57 AM »
Hi there,

4 weeks ago I and a man whom I did not know very well performed unprotected oral sex on each other. While we were fooling around he also applied pressure from his penis on my anus and the tip may have gone in for a few seconds. Before we did anything he told me he was HIV negative and I asked him again a couple weeks after and he told me the same thing.

A couple days after this instance, a friend of mine who is HIV+ (but undetectable for years) performed oral sex on me. I didn't mean for it to happen, but it did. He also fingered me.

2 weeks after the second act I had an HIV test that came back negative. I realize this doesn't mean much as it was only 2 weeks after, but I was having panic attacks so I had it done. Now, about 3.5 weeks after the second interaction I developed a sore throat (not too painful) and slightly enlarged lymph nodes, but not fever. The sore throat passed after a couple days, but I'm very paranoid that they are results of acute hiv infection. I realize the commenters here are not really supposed to speak to symptoms, and I've scheduled an appointment with my doctor for next week. I was hoping someone could talk to me about the risk potential that I've put myself in. Thank you!

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2012, 12:52:51 PM »
I see no reason to test for HIV in the situations as you describe them.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2012, 01:18:47 PM »
thanks jknatl2 for that. i'm also hoping one of the global coordinators will give me his/her take as well.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2012, 01:58:06 PM »
Neither of the incidents which you are concerned about would have put you at risk for HIV. Receiving oral is absolutely not a risk. Giving oral is theoretically a risk but in the real world of HIV we know that your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

Fingering and rubbing are not risks for HIV. Just be sure that if you have anal intercourse whomever is the insertive partner is always wearing a condom. Then you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV.

There's no need for further concern this time.
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 09:50:29 PM »
Thanks Andy. Would you suggest I get tested next week again or just wait for the 3 months? I promise I will not keep posting

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 01:04:21 AM »
If you get tested AT ALL over this incident (which I would find a bit excessive,) then wait until the three month period - otherwise you will doubt the validity of the tests.

I cannot imagine this being an HIV situation at all, and strongly suggest that you consider more self-education regarding real-world risks for HIV and other STDs.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2012, 09:39:00 AM »
I don't think  you need to get tested at all. But as JK has said, you should probably do it at 3 months because otherwise you may think you didn't wait long enough.

But testing is only for your peace of mind because you did not have a risk.
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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  • Posts: 10
Bareback for a minute
« Reply #7 on: March 21, 2012, 09:29:40 AM »
Hey there,

I've been dating this guy for a while now and a little less than two weeks ago while we were fooling around he topped me without a condom for at most a minute. I don't know why I allowed it I think I just really liked him and trusted him, which in hindsight was silly. Safe to say we are no longer dating.

After he did this I kind of freaked out at him. I knew that he had been tested about 3 weeks prior to this event and the results were negative. However, he then told me that he had topped someone without a condom in December (he's uncircumcised). So his test was only 2 months after this act.

I got tested a week after we did this because I like to every 3 months and it came back negative. About a week later and I woke up in the middle of the night burning up with a sore throat. I'm afraid this is acute HIV infection.

I told this guy to get another test done now since it's about 3 months since he had unsafe sex and therefore more conclusive.

I'm basically freaking out and would appreciate someone talking to me about the risk I took. Thank you.

Offline taytay123

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Re: Bareback for a minute
« Reply #8 on: March 21, 2012, 09:31:25 AM »
Also, he didn't ejaculate in me and doesn't really produce much pre-ejaculatory fluid.

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Bareback for a minute
« Reply #9 on: March 21, 2012, 09:32:30 AM »
You must keep all your questions, thoughts and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the best advice we can.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the "Show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

I would also draw your attention to the posting guidelines for Am I Infected? which are outlined in our Welcome Thread.

Please note that your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD

Offline taytay123

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Re: Bareback for a minute
« Reply #10 on: March 21, 2012, 09:43:55 AM »
Also I have a low grade fever around 100.4

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Bareback for a minute
« Reply #11 on: March 21, 2012, 09:48:15 AM »
You must keep all your questions, thoughts and comments in your original thread. This helps us follow your story and give you the best advice we can.

If you cannot find your original thread, please click the "Show own posts" link in the left hand column of any forums page.

I would also draw your attention to the posting guidelines for Am I Infected? which are outlined in our Welcome Thread.

Please note that your questions will not be answered until you return to your original thread.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2012, 10:17:45 AM »
I've merged your threads here. In the future you need to follow our rule as stated in the opening thread of this section to write all entries in only one thread.
Thanks for your cooperation.

As to your latest concern, however brief, insertive anal without a condom is a risk. Albeit a low risk. I suggest you get tested at 3 months to confirm that you are HIV negative.

This is the second such incident for you and that is a red flag to me that you're playing around in potentially dangerous territory. You can have all the anal sex you want. Just do it the safer way which means the insertive partner needs to be wearing a condom everytime. You are in charge of protecting your own health so you need to make it clear to any partner that you are committed to using condoms everytime for anal intercourse.

Hopefully you will come out of this ok. Remember pleasure is short-lived but HIV is forever once you have it.   
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #13 on: March 21, 2012, 10:24:12 AM »
Thanks Andy. I know I need to take my health more seriously. Both times I trusted people too much and so I'm going to reassess that. However, I was hoping you could maybe speak to his HIV infection risk after having a negative result after 2 months. Thank you.

John

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2012, 10:49:44 AM »
If you test negatively at 2 months then it's likely you will continue to test negative at 3 months.
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2012, 12:07:54 AM »
Thank you Andy. He got tested today (~3 months since the potential exposure) and it came back negative. This is two weeks after our bareback moment. Should I be able to breath a little bit of a sigh of relief?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2012, 09:22:44 AM »
Of course every negative result is a happy thing. A negative at post-6 weeks will be a more significant indication that you're going to continue to test negative.

Meantime while waiting to test you need to make a real effort to focus your attention on other matters in your life. Don't bother saying you are too worried to do that. That kind of response won't fly here. Just do it and see how much easier the time will pass. Really.
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #17 on: March 23, 2012, 10:58:43 AM »
I agree Andy and I'm seeing a therapist about all this but I was hoping that if he had a negative result after 3 months from the potential exposure, then would that be conclusive enough to say that it would seem that he would not have been able to give it to me? What's weirding me out is that I was sick with a fever, which never really happens to me and so my mind immediately jumps to the worst case scenario.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #18 on: March 23, 2012, 11:14:32 AM »
I don't believe in using someone else's test result as a means of determining your own negative status. Get your own test done. That's a part of recognizing that it is you who is responsible for protecting your own health.
Andy Velez

Offline taytay123

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #19 on: March 23, 2012, 11:20:41 AM »
Yes of course I am going to get tested, just hoped that if he tested neg after 3 months then it would be close to impossible for him to give it to me (went with him to get tested) since I won't really have any relief for another 4 weeks. Anyways planning in getting tested next week and then again at 6 weeks and then again at 3 months, hoping for the best. Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Oral sex and a tiny bit more
« Reply #20 on: March 23, 2012, 01:25:23 PM »
Of course every negative result is a happy thing. A negative at post-6 weeks will be a more significant indication that you're going to continue to test negative.

Meantime while waiting to test you need to make a real effort to focus your attention on other matters in your life. Don't bother saying you are too worried to do that. That kind of response won't fly here. Just do it and see how much easier the time will pass. Really.

I appreciate your concern but man, you are making this so way more complicated than it needs to be. My above quoted comment still stands.
Andy Velez

 


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