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Author Topic: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)  (Read 4799 times)

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Offline strid1

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ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« on: January 10, 2012, 04:43:37 AM »
I was really drunk and i performed oral sex on a female sex worker not knowing if she had her menstrual cycle or not and whats worst is that i have bleeding gums. Sadly to say exactly two weeks later i got this terrible headache which still persists until now, was feeling weak and neck was sore and was really fatigued and had chest pains. I could not eat for 2 weeks and lost weight. In week 3 i developed a redish rash on my inner thigh which was slightly raised but a little ittchy. I see that now in week six it is fading and skin becoming dried around it. Week 5 i had a itchy troat and it was like that for about 3 days and also developed a white coat on the side of my toungue and top. Now in week six my neck feels enlarged at the front again and kind of difficult to swollow.
 
Now the thing that really gets me scared is that my wive and i had been active after this. She had loose stools in 2 different weeks, a slight sore troat once and again yesterday, really fatigued for 2 weeks and still persists, slight head aches and the other morning she woke up and told me her arm was numb and she had no feeling , hot flushes and a dry cough at odd occassions. Strangly the same happened to me and my vision seems blurred.
 
I had went for a rapid test 25 days later which checks for antibodies and it was negative however the symptoms still persist and i know that it is somewhat accurate at 3 months. People say that i have had no risk because it is oral but how is it that people get HIV through oral sex? Also is it possible that the test would have picked up antibodies as i was feeling those symptoms?

I am so scared because all of these symptoms are occuring after 2 weeks and within 6 weeks. I do not know if i can go on with all of this....

Please advise please  :'( :'( :'(
 

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #1 on: January 10, 2012, 05:46:19 AM »
Ann .....Andy.....Please help  :(

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #2 on: January 10, 2012, 08:23:14 AM »
Strid, you are mixing a bunch of bits together which make no sense in terms of HIV risk. Giving oral is not a risk, even with bleeding gums and if she had been menstruating. Your saliva contains over a dozen elements and proteins which very effectively prevent the transmission of viable HIV.

Like many straying husbands and partners you are now mistakenly (mis)interpreting everything that happens to you and your wife as another sign of HIV. Wrong, wrong, wrong! Nothing you are reporting is in any way HIV specific. If your symptoms or those of your wife continue you should be discussing them with your doctor(s). There is no need for HIV testing. This is not an HIV situation. Period. 
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2012, 09:09:34 AM »
Thanks Andy for the feedback. Much appreciated. Well i will test again after 6 weeks to be certain however it is really so strange that these symptoms appear in the 2 to 4 week timeframe. God i hope that everything will be okay.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 09:46:54 AM »
OK. And I do expect you to test negative.

Keep us posted.
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #5 on: January 11, 2012, 01:44:00 AM »
Hi

Thanks, i wonder why here is South Africa they are so adament at the clinics that this can be contracted via oral sex.

Anyway i hope it was not any other form of contraction cos all these symptom and time frames with myself and spouse seems too real

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #6 on: January 11, 2012, 01:55:51 AM »
I am sorry that your local clinics seem ill-informed regarding HIV infection. Performing cunnilingus is not considered an HIV risk.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #7 on: January 11, 2012, 02:34:32 AM »
Thanks, i just read a tread from the recent POZ forum and a guy advised that he just had some flu like symtoms and then a rash. He went to the doc after 4 weeks and did 2 tests, one was non reactive and the WB was negative. What scares me is that i had a rash on my inner thigh at around 3 to 4 weeks and it is now almost at gone at 6+ weeks and now my wive and i have been having these symptoms if you read my post above. I am so so scared of going for another test 

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #8 on: January 11, 2012, 02:40:48 AM »
I urge you to refrain from trawling the recently infected forums. People post there in a state of shock. They are often unaware of, or unwilling to admit to their sexual activities. Many, including the person whose thread you posted in (wrongfully, as the rules here specify), are in the process of coming out as gay, accepting their sexuality, and realizing - albeit a little late - that compartmentalizing one's sexuality does not make an effective shield from HIV and other STDs.

Your experience was as close to absolutely zero risk as medical science allows. You will not, I predict, test positive for this incident. If you do, you will be the source of much scientific scrutiny I am sure. I say this with over eight years of risk assessment on these forums, and over fifteen years' of HIV prevention education.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #9 on: January 11, 2012, 03:22:43 AM »
I am really really sorry and will never do that again. Please forgive me in my state of stupidity. I am trying to look at every possible reason i know. Just one last question though, what if the condom was re-used, is there a possiblity to contract it via that if the sin of the penis had a cut?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2012, 03:44:15 AM »
No one reuses condoms.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2012, 08:40:35 AM »
Stop with the theoretical and outlandish what ifs. HIV is not passed through re-used condoms. Aside from anything else the virus is too fragile to survive in that context in viable form.

 You did not have a risk. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2012, 08:57:19 AM »
Thanks Andy .God bless

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2012, 09:36:50 AM »
You're welcome. Now get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2012, 06:33:44 AM »
Hi guys

Back again today, just reading some posts and thinking about life in general. Just a bit concerned after reading all treads by people that have just found out that they were positive. I cannot help but associate my wife and my symptoms with all of them, it is like sometimes exactly the same. I am now beginning wonder if there was any other way that i could have exposed myself. I can only remember the fact that i gave oral. This is freaking me out. I am just too scared to go for another test  since its been exactly 50 days today and the test at 27 days was negative.

Well we'll just have to wait and see whats the outcome. Just not feeling myself over these past few weeks. I never felt this way before.

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #15 on: January 12, 2012, 08:25:04 AM »
You never had an exposure and you've been advised of that not only here but another forum aswell.

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #16 on: January 12, 2012, 08:28:16 AM »
I wish that was true rapid, not sure what else to think. Sorry for annoying you guys with all these questions and stuff, it's just really scaring having these thoughts

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #17 on: January 12, 2012, 08:31:01 AM »
I wish that was true rapid, not sure what else to think. Sorry for annoying you guys with all these questions and stuff, it's just really scaring having these thoughts
Thoughts aren't facts and the fact is, you never had an exposure.

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #18 on: January 12, 2012, 09:07:20 AM »
Thanks, if i did not get it through oral giving and recceiving even with all the possibilities i explained ,then there is no other way i could have got it, i will have to wait and check again in 40 days time. Wonder if i'll be able to make it by then

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #19 on: January 12, 2012, 09:14:40 AM »
For you testing is strictly for your peace of mind. And a negative result is a foregone conclusion.

While waiting to test you need to make a real effort to focus on other issues in your life. It will make the waiting time pass more easily than you may imagine is possible.

Meantime I can tell you that we're not going to indulge you in an ongoing conversation about your non-risk situation. Wait it out, get tested and collect the inevitable negative result.

As with so many straying partners, the real issue here is your guilt feelings. You can't undo what you did. Accept it and get on with your life is my strong recommendation.
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #20 on: January 13, 2012, 04:08:10 AM »
Thanks guys ,anyway yesterday the wife came from work feeling terrible, troat was sore and very tired. went straight to bed and slept. I woke up last night with my entire body numb and a inflamed lymphnode at the back of my neck. When the wife got up this morning she complained that het neck was so sore at the sides. Freaking me out and beginning to accept that i might have contracted HIV.....Now thinking of every way to see how i will find the courage to go on with what i might of done. I honestly know that there is something wrong with my body ,weird things are happening. Chest pains,headaches ect.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #21 on: January 13, 2012, 04:44:52 AM »
Thanks guys ,anyway yesterday the wife came from work feeling terrible, troat was sore and very tired. went straight to bed and slept. I woke up last night with my entire body numb and a inflamed lymphnode at the back of my neck. When the wife got up this morning she complained that het neck was so sore at the sides. Freaking me out and beginning to accept that i might have contracted HIV.....Now thinking of every way to see how i will find the courage to go on with what i might of done. I honestly know that there is something wrong with my body ,weird things are happening. Chest pains,headaches ect.
If you and your wife feel unwell see a doctor you don't have an HIV concern and you cannot give her something you don't have.

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #22 on: January 13, 2012, 07:03:37 AM »
Hi

Is it possible to still suffer with ARS after 6 weeks? I just got some swollen lympnode at the back of my head and neck and one behind the ear?
God i guess this is amost everything now

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #23 on: January 13, 2012, 07:09:44 AM »
Hi

Is it possible to still suffer with ARS after 6 weeks? I just got some swollen lympnode at the back of my head and neck and one behind the ear?
God i guess this is amost everything now
You aren't suffering ARS symptoms, you've never had an exposure.

Offline Ann

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #24 on: January 13, 2012, 07:31:36 AM »
Strid,

The symptoms that some people experience when very newly infected are NOT due to the virus itself. They are due to the process the body goes through while producing antibodies.

This means that if the symptoms YOU experienced starting at week two had anything to do with hiv, you would have tested positive - or indeterminate - when you tested at 25 days.

Other things to consider - the rash associated with hiv seroconversion is NOTHING like the rash you describe. The symptoms do not come and go and swap and change. They come on all at once and go all at once and yes, six weeks is far too late for seroconversion symptoms to appear.

The bottom line here is that you did NOT have a risk for hiv infection in the first place.

If you (and your wife) feel unwell, go see a doctor. It's nothing to do with hiv. You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
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Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #25 on: January 16, 2012, 12:22:53 AM »
Thanks Ann, so the test that i did at 25 days was the a rapid test which checks for antibodies. would that have still picked up?

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #26 on: January 16, 2012, 07:23:44 AM »
Hi Andy / Ann

Just a quick question for my knowledge. If i have a possible STD and was exposed to the risk that i mentioned above, will that change the possibilities of my outcome?

Thanks

Offline RapidRod

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #27 on: January 16, 2012, 07:38:19 AM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result,  or no-risk situation will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #28 on: January 16, 2012, 08:48:02 AM »
More what ifs. Even if you contracted another STD during sex, that does not mean you would have been more vulnerable to getting HIV as well.

 
Andy Velez

Offline strid1

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #29 on: January 16, 2012, 09:49:27 AM »
Thanks Andy however what i meant to ask was if i did have an exsisting STD which i did not know about, would that have changed the chances of contracting HIV?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: ARS symptoms - So terribly scared (Please help)
« Reply #30 on: January 16, 2012, 10:01:02 AM »
Yes, that would be a greater risk for HIV, but you didn't have a risk in the first place as you have been told repeatedly.

I am going to remind you now that if you continue coming here with more what ifs about a non-risk incident you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from the site for 28 days.

This is all about guilt and fears and without any sound basis in HIV science. Cut out the drama and get on with your life is my strong suggestion.
Andy Velez

 


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