Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
Newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr Instagram
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
October 22, 2014, 12:13:56 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 643064
  • Total Topics: 48931
  • Online Today: 220
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Author Topic: girl or guy  (Read 5969 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
girl or guy
« on: January 08, 2012, 11:48:49 PM »
OK, had another conversation with straight friends today about whether I'm the man or the woman in a relationship.  I adore these people and I'm glad they finally feel comfortable enough to ask me specifics, but this gets tiring.  They are friends with "gays" from their places of employment. They thought I'd really like to meet one of their "friends".  The first thing Donny says to me is; "he's an attorney and comes from money".  That doesn't impress me much.  I mean come on, tell me about him and I might consider.  Then Carly tells me he's a bit of a flamer who always demands his way.  OK, I'm really interested.....not

Then the conversation moved to which role I play in a relationship.  I partially made them see the flaws in their beliefs.  I thought we progressed past that.  I want an equal man, someone who compliments, not detracts.  I want an equal, not someone who fits a role. 

Straight people, please don't try too hard to fix me up with your lonely, successful, and rich friends.  They're single and unattached for a reason. :o

That last nightcap kicked in.  Goodnight all....wishing everyone positive mental health.

wolfie 
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2012, 04:52:50 AM »

The first thing Donny says to me is; "he's an attorney and comes from money".  That doesn't impress me much.


That don't impress me much either. Shania said it best. (she's hot; wonder what ever happened to her?)

I've caught straight mates of mine having that kind of conversation about lesbian couples as well. It's annoying, I agree. You should hear the scathing remarks my favourite bartender comes out with when someone asks him if he's the man or the woman in a relationship. I wish I could remember some of them verbatim, they're hilarious and make the point very well.

I suppose it might be worth pointing out that this sort of straight confusion is a throwback to the days when gay or lesbian couples used to use straight couple stereotypes as a means of flying under the radar. If one could pass for a man (in a lesbian couple) or a woman (in a gay couple) out in public, they could pass as a straight couple and not draw negative attention to themselves. If I recall correctly from my reading of GLBT history, lesbians were historically a bit more successful in this type of endeavour.

As for people trying to fix you up with their mates, you got it exactly right - they're single for a reason. Annoying as hell.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2012, 08:42:46 PM »
Thanks Ann.  Kinda been thinking about this quite often today.  It almost equates within our own culture.  Top v's bottom kinda thingy.  Maybe my friends think the pokee is always the "girl" and they are basically asking which way I like it?  I'd never last with a man who always wanted it one way or the other. 

Perhaps I should let this guy take me out on an expensive date, explaining that I like playing the "girl" role.  And if he's butt assed ugly, a girl doesn't have to put out.   :o

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,686
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #3 on: January 10, 2012, 07:15:34 PM »


         Wolfie   !

          I am looking for a POKETTE   :o

          Sort of a POKEE :-*
       
            Please reply with a picture of yew    :)

            Contact will take place after a  Goy / Birl   check    :-X

                                               Love   Weasel   ;)
" Live and let Live "

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2012, 07:28:38 PM »
   Wolfie , I used to tell co-workers that ask me that question, and I would always tell them, I'm a gay man
and there is NO man or woman in my relationship, were both gay men, and then, they would just scratch their heads and walk away in confusion  ;D  ;D ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Hoover

  • Member
  • Posts: 286
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2012, 07:48:02 PM »
The few times I had to hire workers for things I couldn't do, after a few days they would figure out that we were a gay couple. Eventually they all asked, "Who does the cooking?" We knew exactly what they were thinking, in their minds whomever does the cooking is the woman. You could see the wheels turn in their heads when we told them we took turns......
Have fun with stupid questions.

Cheers,
Hoover and ...
Infection date: March 16, 2010
20/05/10 - CD4 348  VL 58,000  Lymph nodes in jaw painful!  Antioxidants started.
01/06/10 - CD4 428  VL?
24/06/10 - CD4 578  VL 9,800
13/07/10 - CD4 620  VL?
04/09/10 - CD4 648  VL?
01/11/10 - CD4 710  VL?   CD8 972
16/12/10    CD4 738  VL?  CD8  896   
02/02/11    CD4 520 (month of parasites and new lab)
14/03/11 started Truvida and Sustiva (Efavirenz)
04/07/11 CD4 686 VL 75 CD8 588  41%
10/10/11 CD4 757  45%  VL UD

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,913
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2012, 08:41:29 PM »
OK, had another conversation with straight friends today about whether I'm the man or the woman in a relationship.  I adore these people and I'm glad they finally feel comfortable enough to ask me specifics, but this gets tiring.  They are friends with "gays" from their places of employment. They thought I'd really like to meet one of their "friends".  The first thing Donny says to me is; "he's an attorney and comes from money".  That doesn't impress me much.  I mean come on, tell me about him and I might consider.  Then Carly tells me he's a bit of a flamer who always demands his way.  OK, I'm really interested.....not

Then the conversation moved to which role I play in a relationship.  I partially made them see the flaws in their beliefs.  I thought we progressed past that.  I want an equal man, someone who compliments, not detracts.  I want an equal, not someone who fits a role. 

Straight people, please don't try too hard to fix me up with your lonely, successful, and rich friends.  They're single and unattached for a reason. :o

That last nightcap kicked in.  Goodnight all....wishing everyone positive mental health.

wolfie

Thats what you want fine.

However, consider this.  Sounds like you pre-judge people as much as they do, if you look at your post in a different light.  Personally I don't have many "deal breakers" but seems like you have a few!! 

You were getting this information 2nd hand, about the guy, from square straight friends to boot. While being an attorney may NOT impress you, what would be the problem meeting an attorney?  Same thing for a "flamer".  That's what straights said about him.  Maybe they say you are a flamer too. Or something equally dumb.  Ok maybe he is a "flamer".  Never dated a flamer?  Why not? Just not your style?

"Straight people, please don't try too hard to fix me up with your lonely, successful, and rich friends.  They're single and unattached for a reason. :o"

Im just playing devils advocate, but really, the last sentence??  Its pretty harsh on someone you don't even know.   Are you single and unattached?  But your "reason" is OK and the ones you assume for this guys are objectionable?

Just saying, I wouldn't mind some of my friends trying to fix me up. Yeah sometimes you just "know" its not a match, but there are plenty of surprises so it often pays to give it a go, at least when someone shows interest.  I ended up with unlikely boyfriends in life, and also some unlikely friends, and lovers. 

Keep an open mind, dear, the last thing we "gays" need is to continue this trend of mounting criteria and deal breakers about who can or cannot be a possible lover or partner.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,415
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2012, 10:23:09 PM »
I think Wolfie's point, oh (single) preachy one, is that it is a bit annoying, and presumptious, for a straight person to want to "match up" their gay friends - usually because they have one thing in common -- they are gay.  Being gay isn't a reason to go out on a date with someone.  Even worse -- a blind date.  I suspect (and Wolfie please correct me if I'm wrong) he was more upset about THAT than the fact that he was a rich, lawyer.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2012, 10:44:18 PM »
Boy, you single men are a strange lot, you simply cannot come off as being desperate, you might SCARE them away, and your never gonna find a man, with that type of behavior, don't you single queers know how to play hard-to-get  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2012, 11:16:25 PM »
I respect you all's opinions.  That's what I love about being here.  Perhaps I was wrong in some of my initial thoughts.  I just don't need fixed up.  I'm single by circumstances.  I have the confidence again that I don't just need/want any man.  I'll wait for the right one.  I assume I'll know again once I see it.

Much respect

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2012, 10:24:08 AM »
Zactly,Wolfie most men like a good challenge, if you don't give them one, they will probably loose interest in you very FAST, make them work for it, if they are interested in you, they will continue to be, if they aren't there is always other fish in the fish sea......

I never had a problem finding a BF, and never remained single for very long, I was the type of guy that would say," I'll do it, when I wanna do it, NOT when you want me to " that was how I did it  ;D
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 10:25:39 AM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2012, 10:38:12 AM »
I've had a while to consider some of the comments and also evaluate my thoughts.  I guess a lot of my issues stemmed from my friends' beliefs and comments regarding what I would find attractive or am looking for in a relationship.  Why lead with the attorney comment.  I've witnessed straight people doing this in the dating world too.  I hear them talking about someone who has a great job, nice house, expensive car and etc...  I read into this that they think I might be interested in external aspects rather than the person. 

Why not mention positive attributes that might be beneficial and put the person in a positive light.  IE...I have a charming friend that you might like to meet.  He is funny, easy going and has an awesome personality. 

I'll also retract the statement about him being single for a reason.  That was a bit harsh and judgmental.  Perhaps he is that awesome guy who is also waiting for right person instead of settling for someone who is impressed with his external assets?

And I will probably never consider dating another "flamer".  I dated a guy a long, long time ago who fit this role perfectly.  Perfectly masculine in private, but felt a need to scream "faggot" by his actions when out in public.  Not a judgment call as much as my own personal tastes.  Let them flame away, I'm just not fanning the fires with them.  I don't think I have ever been considered a flamer, but have been told I have some effeminate traits.  Whatever that is.  I'm as comfortable with a sewing machine as I am with a floor jack.  I can make you a nice pair of lined drapes or replace your transmission. 

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2012, 10:45:55 AM »
I'm as comfortable with a sewing machine as I am with a floor jack.  I can make you a nice pair of lined drapes or replace your transmission. 

Wolfie
  Well, if I wasn't married, I'd hit that  ;D your my kinda man  :-*
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2012, 11:00:31 AM »


    I've seen stuff like this in the work place as well.  Introduce the new black guy to the black secretary...  The thought process seems to be they should hit it off extremely well simply by being the same race.

    Personally, I think introductions should be based soley on tit and ass size.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #14 on: January 11, 2012, 11:01:36 AM »
  Well, if I wasn't married, I'd hit that  ;D your my kinda man  :-*

 8)  Who says I'd let you?.....;)

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #15 on: January 11, 2012, 11:03:01 AM »

    I've seen stuff like this in the work place as well.  Introduce the new black guy to the black secretary...  The thought process seems to be they should hit it off extremely well simply by being the same race.

    Personally, I think introductions should be based soley on tit and ass size.

Or cock size? :o

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #16 on: January 11, 2012, 11:05:49 AM »
8)  Who says I'd let you?.....;)

Wolfie

ok, so that's how your gonna play THIS huh, I love a good challenge, make me work for it, but don't do for to long, I may loose interest in you  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #17 on: January 11, 2012, 11:17:05 AM »

    I've seen stuff like this in the work place as well.  Introduce the new black guy to the black secretary...  The thought process seems to be they should hit it off extremely well simply by being the same race.

    Personally, I think introductions should be based soley on tit and ass size.

I always hated that when employers always did that to me, 'oh just put Dennis with all the black or Latino workers, to me that was kinda tride for them to even think that way  ???
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,913
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #18 on: January 11, 2012, 02:10:27 PM »

    I've seen stuff like this in the work place as well.  Introduce the new black guy to the black secretary...  The thought process seems to be they should hit it off extremely well simply by being the same race.

    Personally, I think introductions should be based soley on tit and ass size.

Yes if only my friends would include cock size in their selling points...
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,776
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #19 on: January 11, 2012, 02:51:10 PM »
OK, had another conversation with straight friends today about whether I'm the man or the woman in a relationship.  I adore these people and I'm glad they finally feel comfortable enough to ask me specifics, but this gets tiring.  They are friends with "gays" from their places of employment. They thought I'd really like to meet one of their "friends".  The first thing Donny says to me is; "he's an attorney and comes from money".  That doesn't impress me much.  I mean come on, tell me about him and I might consider.  Then Carly tells me he's a bit of a flamer who always demands his way.  OK, I'm really interested.....not

Maybe they simply care enough about you and even while misguided are simply trying to help.  It's not just the action, it's the intent.  I think what they did was endearing.  You cannot expect straight folks to understand the rules of gay dating, when even gays do not.

Joe

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,415
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #20 on: January 11, 2012, 06:29:46 PM »
Oh Joe -- I don't see this as confusion on the rules of gay dating (not sure what those are exactly...).  I see this as a, "your gay, he's gay -- you two should go out" no real reason to connect except the gay part.  They may have meant well, but it is frustratingly demeaning to assume all one gay man needs in another is that he is gay.  Now, I wasn't there, don't know the people, so I am completely open to being wrong, but that is how I read this.
As I said, I was never a fan of the "set up" at any rate.  Fortunately, I haven't had to date in a long time.......

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,531
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #21 on: January 11, 2012, 06:38:41 PM »
...
Zactly,Wolfie most men like a good challenge, if you don't give them one, they will probably loose interest in you very FAST, make them work for it, if they are interested in you, they will continue to be, if they aren't there is always other fish in the fish sea......
...

If everyone took your advice about playing hard-to-get, then no one would ever get together.  This never made any sense to me.  How do you determine who should pursue whom?  That sounds similar to the question "who is the man, and who is the woman"?   ???


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #22 on: January 11, 2012, 08:46:08 PM »
If everyone took your advice about playing hard-to-get, then no one would ever get together.  This never made any sense to me.  How do you determine who should pursue whom?  That sounds similar to the question "who is the man, and who is the woman"?   ???

Herny, it's different for everyone, I never really had to try to pursue anyone , they always pursued me, if I wanted to get involed with them I did, if not I didn't, it was always my choice and mine to make, did I play hard to get YES almost all the time, did it always work, not always, but most of time it did, were all diferent and we all like different things about someone, if you both like a lot of things about each other it's doable, always has been that way for me, I cannot really speak for anyone else, but myself  ;)
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 08:49:44 PM by denb45 »
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Online Miss Philicia

  • Member
  • Posts: 24,209
  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #23 on: January 11, 2012, 08:49:37 PM »
LOL
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #24 on: January 11, 2012, 09:11:01 PM »

As I said, I was never a fan of the "set up" at any rate.  Fortunately, I haven't had to date in a long time.......

Mike

gotta agree with you there mike, I haven't dated in well over 18 yrs. I probably wouldn't even know how to anymore, what worked for me back then really doesn't apply now-a-days, and I'm being honest here, all I'd probably get now would be STDs and anal-warts, not to mention the fact that I'm well into my 50s  ;D ;D ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Joe K

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 3,776
  • 31 Years Poz
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #25 on: January 11, 2012, 09:30:09 PM »
Is there some secret contest to see who can post the most per thread?

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #26 on: January 11, 2012, 09:39:46 PM »
Is there some secret contest to see who can post the most per thread?

beat's the hell outta me Joe, I'm 55 yrs old, have been with the same man for 18 yrs. most of the posters in here are 10 to 15 yrs younger than me, and most of them aren't even in a LTR, so they couldn't possibly understand any of this, so guess I'm not really qualified to give dating advice  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline emeraldize

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,353
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #27 on: January 11, 2012, 10:07:55 PM »
Hi Wolfie--You're a lucky man to have people who think enough of you and probably even love ya such that they wanna try to find a partner for you.

Yes, their features/benefits matching system is flawed--but, you're lucky, I think. Em

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,913
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #28 on: January 11, 2012, 10:11:35 PM »
Being set up can suck. Until it doesnt.
Playing hard to get has its value. Until it doesnt.

At least the friends were thinking about your happiness, no matter how clumsily.

And you might give that successful guy a go.  Maybe its only the straights who think hes a "flamer".   Who knows, if he does turn out worth pursuing, than the success and the money is just a cherry on the cake. 

I dont think success or money is a deal breaker per se.  If the person has a heart and floats your boat, job and/or financial stability is good thing, isn't it?

I appreciate your walk back on that last point.

Hey anyway, if you are happy single and just content to see who crosses your path naturally, that's fine and dandy too!
« Last Edit: January 11, 2012, 10:14:01 PM by mecch »
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,531
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #29 on: January 11, 2012, 11:04:53 PM »
...
At least the friends were thinking about your happiness, no matter how clumsily.
...

Wolfie, I think this is ultimately what you need to think about:  do you think your friends had your happiness in mind, or are they uncaring buffoons?  Chance are it's the former, and they just a little clumsy in their approach to helping you.

One more thing to think about.  A date with a rich, successful, single guy doesn't sound so bad.  It just depends on how active you want to be in your search for a partner / mate.  But the more people you meet, the better the likelihood of you finding a good match.

Now finish your white zin, and go to sleep!  :)

Cheers,

Henry
"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #30 on: January 12, 2012, 08:31:44 AM »
Thanks guys for the valid points.  I do KNOW that my friends truly care for me and only are wishing the best for me.  Perhaps my initial reactionary attitude needs reevaluated. 

I never stated that wealth and success were a deal breaker.  That would be ridiculous.  I just don't think that's as important as the character of the person.  Bill became very successful in his career but that wouldn't have mattered in the long term success of our relationship.

I'm neither happy or unhappy being single.  I just never envisioned finding love again, especially at my age.  Hopefully I stop doing that comparison thing soon.  I have reached that point where I want to find another person to spend my life with.  I truly enjoyed coming home to a person that I was in love with.  I enjoyed all that being a couple afforded us. 

I've agreed to attend their next get together instead of a date per se.  He has a weekend home here at the lake and regularly has groups of friends over.  The worst that can happen is that I develop some great friendships.  I also think it's awesome my straight friends are so closely involved with them all. 

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #31 on: January 12, 2012, 09:05:38 AM »
I never went for the "flamer" or  "super-butch" types of gay men , I always thought that those types were too extreme for my taste in men, however I did love men that were in-the-middle, and well rounded, it's all about attitude & personality for me, I never cared if a man was rich, poor or middle-class, never cared what he drove, or where he lived or what he wore, no bodies perfect, were flawed in one way or another, and were all different, and to me that is what makes life interesting  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,686
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #32 on: January 12, 2012, 05:38:26 PM »
Hi Wolfie--You're a lucky man to have people who think enough of you and probably even love ya such that they wanna try to find a partner for you.

Yes, their features/benefits matching system is flawed--but, you're lucky, I think. Em

   Em  , You are so very correct  :)

      Most of the straight people I know  HIDE  and run when they see another GAY MAN  around
     for fear of me getting to know a person they know   :-\

      Wolfie You are young and a nice catch  ;)

                                                                           Weasel

      P.S.  Having a drinky to get threw the night  :o
" Live and let Live "

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #33 on: January 12, 2012, 05:56:25 PM »
This thread is a clusterfuck of bad relationship advice.  Everyone is different and everyone has a different set of rules and dealbreakers unique unto themselves.  It is the very idiosyncratic nature of human beings that makes person A like person B but not person C.  Whether this be financial security, good looks, great personality, or just a nature that is complimentary to your own, what could one date hurt anybody?  I try not to prejudge or snap judge anyone, but after a date you can usually tell if you're interested or not.  Wolfie my advice is to maybe take the date and then be honest with the guy if you're not interest, no harm no foul.

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #34 on: January 12, 2012, 07:52:18 PM »

      P.S.  Having a drinky to get threw the night  :o

Don't know what's up, but I haven't felt much like partying lately.  Maybe working around all those drunks so much has something to do with it.  I've not had a glass of wine in probably 2 weeks now. :o

thanks for the compliment also. ;)

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #35 on: January 12, 2012, 09:41:07 PM »
This thread is a clusterfuck of bad relationship advice.

Oh come on now Trey, you know it's not bad advice, @ least not coming from most of us who have been in a LTR for  many yrs.

it might be somewhat 20 yrs DATED, but it's certainly not bad advice..

most of us old timers are still in those LTR's , so we much be doing something correct there youg man  ;)

EXCUSE ME regular older gays speaking there mind here , nothing more  :)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline tednlou2

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,979
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #36 on: January 13, 2012, 12:35:37 AM »
Wolfie,

I have a guy I want to set you up with.  Now, he is in the closet.  I hope that doesn't bother you.  He also still lives with his mother.  He gets pets and they all seem to end up dead.  I'm not sure what that's about and whether I should call the Humane Society.  But, he has an awesome personality.  Sometimes, he has more than one personality.  But, it would be like being in an open relationship and you would still be monogamous.   

Can I give him your number?

Offline mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,913
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #37 on: January 13, 2012, 06:52:10 AM »
Awful first dates are kinda funny a few days later. Unless it was with a serial killer.
I have been on some where we both realised about an hour into it that its an awfully bad match and we laughed. That's often quite the relief.  The worst is meeting some anal retentive type who plays games or doesn't show much of his humanity.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #38 on: January 13, 2012, 08:54:08 AM »
Wolfie,

I have a guy I want to set you up with.  Now, he is in the closet.  I hope that doesn't bother you.  He also still lives with his mother.  He gets pets and they all seem to end up dead.  I'm not sure what that's about and whether I should call the Humane Society.  But, he has an awesome personality.  Sometimes, he has more than one personality.  But, it would be like being in an open relationship and you would still be monogamous.   

Can I give him your number?

I already had his number....I dated him a while ago..... ;D

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline weasel

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,686
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #39 on: January 13, 2012, 09:32:33 AM »
Wolfie,

I have a guy I want to set you up with.  Now, he is in the closet.  I hope that doesn't bother you.  He also still lives with his mother.  He gets pets and they all seem to end up dead.  I'm not sure what that's about and whether I should call the Humane Society.  But, he has an awesome personality.  Sometimes, he has more than one personality.  But, it would be like being in an open relationship and you would still be monogamous.   

Can I give him your number?

        I AM rolling on the floor laughing my ass off   8)

        That is  very funny  , Although  I have met this man also ...............

                                                                                                 Weasel  :-*

      P.S.    Bar~B~Ques  and puppies don't really go together  :o

                                                                                                   
" Live and let Live "

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 24,891
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #40 on: January 13, 2012, 10:44:37 AM »
Ask the straight couple who is the guy and who is the girl in their relationship.
Andy Velez

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #41 on: January 13, 2012, 10:55:44 AM »
Ask the straight couple who is the guy and who is the girl in their relationship.

In their case, she just might be the guy. ;)

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #42 on: January 13, 2012, 11:11:56 AM »
In their case, she just might be the guy. ;)

Wolfie

Well, IMHO they don't make strap-on's for nothing  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline wolfter

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,633
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #43 on: January 20, 2012, 09:47:52 AM »
Update:  We had our "Queen of hearts" drawing last night.  It always draws a large crowd.  I walked in expecting to see the same people and this totally hot guy caught my eye.  Maybe the gaydar was in overdrive?

I hadn't planned on working but I decided to help behind the bar so I could interact freely with the customers.  I had no idea who he was but quickly figured out he was my friends' guest.  If he's a flamer, then I'm a downright queen.  He is incredibly charming, sweet , and if I didn't mention;  totally hot.

It took all my strength to not accept his invite for a nightcap. 

Wolfie
Complacency is the enemy.  ;)  Challenge yourself daily for maximum  return on investment.

Offline Buckmark

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,531
  • Would you like to tie me up with your ties, Ty?
    • Henry's Home Page
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #44 on: January 22, 2012, 12:16:09 PM »
This is the same guy your friends were trying to get you to meet, and which started this whole thread?  My, you've certainly changed your tune....

Why didn't you accept his invite for a nightcap?  Maybe that depends on what he meant by nightcap (I'm always terribly naive about these things).   Perhaps you could have instead offered him your phone number, and suggested getting together again.  Work it!

Cheers,

Henry


"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline hope_for_a_cure

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,502
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #45 on: January 22, 2012, 12:50:13 PM »
The 'who is the girl ?... who is the guy ?' question has always led to some interesting responses no doubt.  I have never had that conversation with a 'straight' male but have several times with my lesbian friends.  Its genuine curiosity on their part I guess. 

Personally, the total 'flamers' dont do much for me.  I like masculinity and intelect.  If the discussion is only about tv, movies, and meaningless drivel then its not going anywhere. 

No right answer Wolfie... if you dont feel like a date with someone, I am sure you will not accept one.   

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #46 on: January 22, 2012, 12:53:14 PM »
I never went for the "flamer" or  "super-butch" types of gay men , I always thought that those types were too extreme for my taste in men, however I did love men that were in-the-middle, and well rounded, it's all about attitude & personality for me, I never cared if a man was rich, poor or middle-class, never cared what he drove, or where he lived or what he wore, no bodies perfect, were flawed in one way or another, and were all different, and to me that is what makes life interesting  ;)
Then this one will throw you. http://www.videobash.com/video_show/weirdest-body-builder-ever-2663?utm_source=T8&utm_medium=Traffic_Trade&utm_campaign=t8_gay_trade_box2   ;)

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #47 on: January 22, 2012, 12:59:30 PM »
Then this one will throw you. http://www.videobash.com/video_show/weirdest-body-builder-ever-2663?utm_source=T8&utm_medium=Traffic_Trade&utm_campaign=t8_gay_trade_box2   ;)

 ;D ;D ;D Roddels that's too funny........
   
that is from steroids... HGH or something, doubt it's natural at all  ;)

or he would  had to be weight training ever since when he was 10 yrs old..........lol  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #48 on: January 22, 2012, 01:16:12 PM »
;D ;D ;D Roddels that's too funny........
   
that is from steroids... HGH or something, doubt it's natural at all  ;)

or he would  had to be weight training ever since when he was 10 yrs old..........lol  :D
I have some women friends that would die for a set like that.  ;D

Offline denb45

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: girl or guy
« Reply #49 on: January 22, 2012, 01:19:39 PM »
I have some women friends that would die for a set like that.  ;D

 ;D Bob & I know a few of them here in ABQ ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.