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Author Topic: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(  (Read 2974 times)

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Offline diegozeus

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18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« on: January 04, 2012, 03:47:04 AM »
im 18 and i did a really foolish thing , and that was have sex with a prostitute in sydney. this happened about 10 weeks ago. i let her place the condom on me and from there on i let her go on top of me. this is where the problem began, once i told her to change positions, she pulled off and we realized the condom had broken completely. i was pretty scared as i didn't know how long it could have been exposed and what i may have caught. she told me that she was "clean" and that she gets tested every week(which i find hard to believe). it was a massage parlor, so standard std/hiv checking is not done according to her.

my biggest concern was catching hiv. i havent told anyone about this incident and it really has been eating me up inside. i have been so nervous, depressed and angry ever since. I spent the first few weeks trying to look for symptoms and i could find nothing.

At week 8 i had a runny/stuffy nose with some congestion, but no headache, fever or diarrhea, so  i assumed it could just be my grass pollen allergy playing up.

At week 10 which is now, i have a cold sore on the corner of my mouth AND 3 tiny canker sores bunched together behind my cold sore inside my mouth. These symptoms really made me do some research and finding out that canker sores are connected to HIV really sunk my heart so deep.

 im sorry for telling u guys my symptoms as it may not be a good indicator of actually contracting HIV, but im really scared and i needed a place to just get it off my chest. im 18 and i haven't lived a day in my life.

i've been reading other posts in this forum and keep seeing that heterosexual men with condom breaks rarely contracted HIV. But as i was doing some research i found that heterosexual men make up a large part of new HIV diagnoses. well im not to sure how this works.

thank you for taking the time to read this. if you could provide any feedback i would be more than grateful.


 

 

Offline Ann

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #1 on: January 04, 2012, 04:01:07 AM »
Diego,

In over ten years of answering questions in this forum, I've yet to see the insertive partner end up hiv positive due to a condom break and I do not expect you to be the first.

However, testing is the only way to know for sure.

The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week (or more) negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

You can test now for peace of mind, or you can wait another two weeks for a conclusive result. I fully expect you to test negative.

Neither symptoms nor the lack of symptoms will ever tell you a single thing about your hiv status - ONLY testing at the appropriate time will. None of your symptoms sound remotely like they'd have anything to do with hiv.

Straight men are becoming infected through not using condoms at all. While hiv is a fragile, difficult to transmit virus and more so from a woman to a man, it can happen if you push your luck too many times.

You need to make sure you're using condoms correctly. A correctly used condom rarely breaks.

The two leading causes of condom breakage are...

1. Not using enough (or any) water-based lube.

2. Not making sure there is no air trapped in the tip. You need to pinch the tip of the condom between finger and thumb of one hand while you roll it down with the other. Once it's on, you need to give the condom a firm stroke from tip to base while watching the tip. If there's air in there, you'll see it. If this happens, roll it back up and try again. You'd be better off putting your own condom on yourself in future, so you can make sure it's on correctly with no air bubble.

Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

In addition to hiv testing, you should test for all the other STIs as well. You're much more likely to end up with one of the more easily transmitted STIs following a condom break than you are to end up with hiv. Many of the other STIs can be present with no obvious symptoms, so the only way to know for sure is to test.

One more thing - while I realise that you were repeating what the woman said, you need to know that the use of the word "clean" to describe a person's sexual health is insulting to those of us who are poz as it suggest that we are dirty. Please do not use that term here again.

In a nutshell, you do need to test but I fully expect you to test hiv negative. Make sure you test for all the other STIs as well, regardless of whether or not you are experiencing symptoms.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #2 on: January 04, 2012, 05:31:02 AM »
Thank you Ann for the quick and detailed response. You have put my mind at ease for the time being, hopefully when i wake up tomorrow i wont spend the whole day searching for HIV symptoms. And im sorry for mentioning that word, and will not ever in this context.   

Just one more thing, how often have u heard a heterosexual man mention he had canker sores and ultimately test negative, because 3 canker sores besides each other on my lip has never happened to me before. i can understand the cold sore, because i get them every now and then...but the painful canker sores are still bugging me.

 And i will get tested next week, hopefully to this part of my life to rest.

thanks
deigo

Offline Ann

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #3 on: January 04, 2012, 05:38:29 AM »
Diego,

People in this forum are forever going on and on about all sorts of symptoms (including canker sores) when they haven't even had a risk. They always test negative, despite being convinced they've been infected. You can't get infected when you have not had a risk.

People need to realise that symptoms - or even the LACK of symptoms - will never, ever tell you a single thing about hiv status. Many people never have a single symptom after engaging in risky behaviour and yet test positive. What counts is the activity you have engaged in, not how you feel afterwards.

People also need to realise that stress can do all sorts of things to your body and make you feel unwell or get canker sores, herpes outbreaks, rashes etc etc etc.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #4 on: January 05, 2012, 03:46:27 AM »
SORRY to bother u again Ann, but i would like to know how HIV rashes present themselves, because i've developed tiny red/pink spots about 5mm large here and there around my body, eg 1 near my elbow, 2 under my armpit,2 on my stomach, 3 on my back and about 6 on my inner right thigh near my groin. some are itchy..would this be considered a hiv rash and not due to nerves? please forgive me if this is a stupid question, but i really am scared.

And i visited the sexual health clinic today and the nurse told me i had to wait till the 3 month mark before i can be tested, so that leaves me stressed for another 1.5-2 weeks...

Offline diegozeus

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #5 on: January 05, 2012, 05:13:35 AM »
im soooo scared, i just read

Heterosexually acquired HIV
Fifty one (17%) newly diagnosed cases in NSW
in 2010 were heterosexually acquired. Thirty
four (67%) cases were male and the median age
was 43 years.
Data source: NSW HIV/AIDS database, Communicable Diseases Branch, NSW Department of Health, as at 11 October 2011

these small random red/pink spots on my skin are freaking me out!!


Offline Ann

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #6 on: January 05, 2012, 06:36:59 AM »
Diego,

The rash that sometimes accompanies seroconversion does not itch and it does not appear in most of the places where yours are appearing. It appears on the torso (the area between the neck and the groin, excluding the arms and legs). It looks more like a dark reddish flush just under the surface of the skin than it does a spotty rash - similar to how meningitis appears as a flush. If you didn't see it, you would have NO idea it was there.

It also doesn't appear so late in the window period. If you were going to get a seroconversion rash, it would have happened two or three weeks after the incident you're worried about, not ten.

You really need to chill out and stop surfing the web for scary hiv information. I'd bet the farm that none of those heterosexual men were infected because of a condom break.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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  • Posts: 8
Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2012, 07:11:31 AM »
Ann,

Thank you so much for your reassuring words, i don't know how I'd make it through this without your help. This community is blessed to have you.

And in the mean time, i'll try not to stress out too much, but if i do come back with another question please don't be mad at me. sometimes my nerves kick in and i cant help but ask for your help, because this forum was the first place i came for help and you were the only one that helped me.

Thank you
Diego 

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #8 on: January 05, 2012, 08:56:40 AM »
Diego,

We (and I think I can speak for all of us here who answer questions in this forum)... we don't get mad at people for asking questions.

The only time we may get mad is when people repeatedly disregard our posting rules. The rules are there for a reason. (No, I'm not saying YOU have disregarded any rules, but plenty do just that.)


However, we DO get frustrated (not mad) when people do not pay attention to and learn from what we take time to explain.

We get frustrated when people allow the stigma of hiv to cloud their judgement to the point where they are no longer open to science, logic or reason. 

We do our best to be patient - and we appreciate it when people listen to the facts and common sense instead of stigma and hiv hysteria.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2012, 06:29:33 AM »
so now i have a rash, canker sore, cold sore, Loss of appetite and Difficulty swallowing. The last 2 i have been experiencing for the past 2 days could possibly be caused by anxiety, but i cant be too sure of that since they are part of the HIV symptoms. still scared? YES


Today i went to the medical center and showed the doctor my rash, he barely looked at it and gave me Doxycycline 100mg to take and gave me a blood test (std screening). 10.5 weeks after exposure, im hoping this standard std screening will produce good results.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2012, 07:16:14 AM »
Diego,

One could consider breathing as a symptom of hiv infection - because people living with hiv breathe. Yes, that's how general the things you're worrying about are - they could be symptoms of anything. In your case they are highly unlikely to be symptoms of hiv infection.

I still fully expect you to test negative.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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  • Posts: 8
Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #11 on: January 09, 2012, 04:06:06 AM »
So i got tested on day 72 and today i recieved my results(day 76). it was a MEIA test, which i have never came across in any forum, all i hear is ELISA and P24 antigen or something like that. well, im glad to say it was negative at day 72, so im wondering is it accurate enough to consider that i will stay negative till the 90 day window period is over? My doctor also said that if i were to get HIV that i would live up to 20 years more only, i was shocked and so scared. i refused to believe that, please tell me he's wrong.  :( 

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #12 on: January 09, 2012, 04:12:54 AM »
Diego,

Unfortunately, many doctors have not kept up with the advances in modern hiv treatment. A person newly infected and diagnosed today can expect to live into their 70s or even longer, provided they start treatment when necessary and do not get run over by a bus.

Of course, untreated hiv infection will still kill. That isn't going to change.

MEIA tests are commonly used and are mentioned in these forums fairly often. They are reliable tests.

I absolutely do not expect your result to change when you confirm at the three month point. If your symptoms had anything to do with hiv seroconversion, you WOULD have tested positive on your 72 day test.

You were never likely to end up poz over a one-time condom break anyway, as you have been told.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline diegozeus

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #13 on: January 09, 2012, 06:31:11 AM »
thanks for the quick reply Ann. :)  One more thing is the MEIA test the same thing as the ELISA test? just wondering because i saw some posts on other forums saying they're synonyms.

Offline Ann

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Re: 18 , broken condom , really scared :(
« Reply #14 on: January 09, 2012, 06:46:05 AM »
Diego,

MEIA stands for microparticle enzyme immunoassay. ELISA stands for enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay. They're basically the same thing and they are both reliable.

You need to stop over-thinking this situation. You were never likely to end up hiv positive following a condom break and your 72 day test result is NOT going to change.

You need to take a break from searching this forum and if it takes giving you a time out to get you to understand that, then that's what you'll get. We've given you all the information you need.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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