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Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

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Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" AIDSmeds forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

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NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

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Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Trying to stay calm...  (Read 1061 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline Jay2301

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Trying to stay calm...
« on: January 03, 2012, 03:05:08 PM »
I've been married for almost 18 years now.   I have only ever strayed during one period of time when we were having trouble, about 3 years ago.  During that time I had unprotected oral sex (both ways) with two separate females (I am male) of unknown status.

I felt horrible afterwards and I know that it was the guilt that was really getting me.  I tested for HIV and was negative at 30 days past the second exposure, 50 days past the first.

I moved on with my life but this is something that comes back to haunt me every now and then.  Most recently I find myself worrying again.  I decided I have to put this to rest so I sent off a home access test today and now have to await results.

Finding this forum has helped me because previously I thought there was at least some risk to me, but after reading these forums I am trying to convince myself there is zero risk in this behavior.   I keep telling myself that I will not be the first person infected in this manner and hoping that I won't get infected via some kind of fluke of circumstance.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,837
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #1 on: January 03, 2012, 03:13:53 PM »
Even though nothing you have reported of your activities put you at risk, it was still a smart move on your part to get tested.

I certainly expect you to test negative, but now you will have confirmation of your negative status and you can put the ghost and your hopefully your guilt as well to rest.

You did what you did and you can't undo that. Accept that, take a breath and let it go. That is the best thing you can do for all concerned.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Jay2301

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #2 on: January 03, 2012, 07:08:22 PM »
Andy,

Thank you for your kind words.  I really appreciate what you guys are doing here.  The hardest thing is waiting for the results and it's nice to have an outlet to at least talk about this.

I suffer from anxiety, but i had it under control until recently I starting thinking about this issue; and somehow I let things get away from me.  However at least reading this forum helps me.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,837
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #3 on: January 03, 2012, 07:15:50 PM »
Meantime while waiting for the negative result I expect, make a real effort to focus on other matters in your life. It will make the waiting go much more easily.

Really.
Andy Velez

Offline Jay2301

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2012, 07:33:24 PM »
As suspected, the result is Negative!   I want to thank you again and reiterate that I am really touched by the work you guys are doing on this site.  You guys are definitely making a positive impact in people's lives.

Let me know how I can help.  I can donate to help your site or I can make a general donation to fight this disease.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,837
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2012, 07:44:11 PM »
A negative result is always happy news.

We're glad to have been helpful.

As for a donation, any AIDS service organization in your area can always use some financial support.

Cheers.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 08:23:57 PM »
Jay,

You can donate to the site with a check made out to AIDSmeds.com

Send it to:

AIDSmeds.com,
462 Seventh Avenue, 19th Floor,
New York, NY 10018.

Thank you!

Ann

please note that donations to AIDSmeds.com are not tax-deductable as we are not a registered charity - but donations are greatly appreciated and help keep the forums running - put "forums" in the memo line
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jay2301

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #7 on: January 05, 2012, 02:39:46 PM »
Sent! :)

Keep up the good work.  You are really helping people.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Trying to stay calm...
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2012, 07:16:55 AM »
Jay,

Thank you. Much appreciated.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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