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Author Topic: Some questions I need to have cleared  (Read 6547 times)

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Offline needtobecareful

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  • Posts: 9
Some questions I need to have cleared
« on: June 26, 2006, 07:59:56 AM »
I have posted here many months ago, but have lost my previous password so I have just set up a new account. Please bear with me.

I have a few questions that I would like some expert answers for; I would be very appreciative if you could be patient with me even if they sound a little bizarre.
I am only just becoming sexually active, and anticipating sex very soon which is making me extremely anxious because of my past worries about HIV through non-sexual route. I just want to make sure I know all the facts and do eveything the right way to protect myself in order to avoid the emotional trauma of worrying all over again should I inadvertently expose myself. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.


1) How much more is the risk of getting infected with HIV for uncirumsized men having unprotected vaginal sex with a positive women?

2) Is there really no risk of HIV transmission if COPIOUS amounts of vaginal fluid fall onto penis head through frottage? Or is there some  risk??? I just dont see how this is so different from intercourse besides the few seconds that the virus may be exposed to air in the case of frottage.

3) I KNOW that condom breakages are normally not subtle events and can be fairly obvious when they happen during intercourse. But is this always the case? Have there been reports of condoms only breaking or tearing slightly around the tip/head of the penis while it has penetrated the vagina?


Thank you ever so much for your service. God Bless.

Offline Ann

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #1 on: June 26, 2006, 08:18:32 AM »
need,

We are now using totally new forum software and everyone had to create a new account. Click here for your old thread.

1. If you use condoms, it doesn't matter if you are circumcised or not. You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL STIs together. To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with a sexually transmitted infection.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

2. There really, really is no risk of hiv transmission during frottage. The only risk where hiv and frottage is concerned is if you get carried away and allow unprotected penetration to happen. Hiv really is a very fragile virus and successful transmission only occurs INSIDE the human body. If frottage worries you, don't do it. Simple as that. You should be aware that frottage DOES carry a risk of becoming infected with some of the more easily transmitted STIs such as chlamydia, gonorrhea, syphilis and herpes, but it does NOT transmit hiv.

3. Condom breaks are normally noticeable, yes. If you worry about condoms breaking, check them during the act. I've yet to see someone end up hiv positive because of a broken condom.

Don't forget to read through the condom and lube links in my signature line, and read through the Welcome Thread as well, making sure you follow the Lesson links.

Something else you should know: Anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results. Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #2 on: June 26, 2006, 08:24:08 AM »
I am only just becoming sexually active, and anticipating sex very soon which is making me extremely anxious because of my past worries about HIV through non-sexual route. I just want to make sure I know all the facts and do eveything the right way to protect myself in order to avoid the emotional trauma of worrying all over again should I inadvertently expose myself. Please get back to me at your earliest convenience.

EXPERIENCING ANXIETY WHEN BECOMING SEXUALLY ACTIVE IS PRETTY MUCH PAR FOR THE COURSE. IN TERMS OF PROTECTING YOURSELF IN RELATION TO HIV, AS LONG AS YOU CONSISTENTLY USE CONDOMS FOR EITHER VAGINAL OR ANAL INTERCOURSE YOU ARE COVERED, LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY.
 
1) How much more is the risk of getting infected with HIV for uncirumsized men having unprotected vaginal sex with a positive women?

THE RISK IS SIGNIFICANTLY GREATER FOR UNPROTECTED INTERCOURSE IF YOU ARE NOT CIRCUMCIZED BECAUSE THE MUCOSAL SKIN OF THE FORESKIN IS AN ADDITIONAL RECEPTIVE AREA FOR TRANSMISSION. BUT THE ISSUE IS MOOT AS LONG AS YOU ALWAYS USE A CONDOM BECAUSE THEN THE HEAD OF YOUR PENIS IS COVERED, WHICH IS THE ESSENTIAL MATTER. LET"S NOT GET INTO QUANTIFYING THE ADDITONAL LEVEL OF RISK. JUST USE A CONDOM EVERYTIME AND YOU WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS.
  
2) Is there really no risk of HIV transmission if COPIOUS amounts of vaginal fluid fall onto penis head through frottage? Or is there some  risk??? I just dont see how this is so different from intercourse besides the few seconds that the virus may be exposed to air in the case of frottage.

NO, FROTTAGE IS NOT A RISK AND IN THE HISTORY OF THE EPIDEMIC, THERE'S NEVER BEEN A DOCUMENTED CASE OF TRANSMISSION DURING THIS VERY COMMON SEXUAL ACTIVITY. JUST MAKE SURE IT IS ACTUALLY FROTTAGE AND NOT ACTUALLY INSERTION.


3) I KNOW that condom breakages are normally not subtle events and can be fairly obvious when they happen during intercourse. But is this always the case? Have there been reports of condoms only breaking or tearing slightly around the tip/head of the penis while it has penetrated the vagina?

NO. PRACTICE PUTTING ON CONDOMS SO THAT YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH THE PROCESS. YOU MIGHT ALSO TRY MASTURBATING WITH ONE ON SO THAT YOU CAN REASSURE YOURSELF ABOUT THEIR STRENGTH. MAKE SURE YOU ARE USING LATEX.  THEY PROVIDE VERY EFFECTIVE PROTECTION.

Cheers,  
Andy Velez

Offline needtobecareful

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #3 on: June 27, 2006, 07:26:20 AM »
Andy and Ann,

Thanks a million for your comprehensive answers. I do appreciate your time and attention.

I HAVE indeed read all the LESSONS on this website (including ALL the links in Ann's messages!) and I just have 2 additional questions that are not really addressed in the lessons.

1) The girl that I will be having sex with says she is a virgin (like me). Although I do believe her, of course i cannot be confident that she is HIV negative for sure. I myself am absolutely paranoid about HIV infection and the possibilty of pregnancy so I will DEFINITELY wear a condom during sex (even though she is ok with unprotected sex- which is worrying in itself!). HOWEVER, what i would like to know is how much bleeding occurs when a virgin female is penetrated for the first time? The high likelihood that she will bleed (since she is a virgin) and the remote possibilty that she is HIV+ worries me since this is contact with blood that we are talking about. Any advice in this regard?
Shall I change condoms and put on a new one as soon as I notice blood upon penetration? Or is it riskier to fumble around with a blood covered condom and possibly contaminate myself while changing? I really do wish she wasn't a virgin becuz of these bleeding issues.

2) Clearly, it is vital that the condom does not break both to prevent HIV transmission and pregnancy. How important is it to use a water-based lube? People have protected sex left and right with no use of lubrication and seem to be ok. Is it risky not to use lube? Am I jeopardizing protection if I dont use any lube for vaginal intercourse???

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #4 on: June 27, 2006, 08:49:09 AM »
need,

You probaby won't encounter virginial blood, whether she is or isn't. Most young women today use tampons and, well, do the math. Even if there is any blood present, as long as you are wearing a condom there won't be enough to cause a panic. Whether or not you change it is up to you and the circumstances.

Are you sure you want the first time for both of you to be fraught with anxiety? How would it be to wait until you're more emotionally ready and calm? I can tell you now that if you do wait, your first time will be something worth remembering.

You need to use lube if the person you are entering is dry and/or tight. Lube decreases friction and helps prevent breaks.

Don't use oil-based anything on latex condoms because oil will weaken the latex.

It's up to you what you do, but if you do choose to have intercourse, make sure that condom is correctly in place and lubed up.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needtobecareful

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Some questions- N9 condoms!
« Reply #5 on: June 30, 2006, 05:58:45 PM »
Hi Guys,

I have 2 quick questions that I would tremendously appreciate if you could address for me.

1) As Andy mentioned, uncircumsized men have a SIGNIFICANTLY increased risk of HIV infection because of the extra mucosal membranes which are receptive to the virus (compared to circumsized men). Does this STILL mean that receiving oral sex (being the insertive partner) is ABSOLUTELY NO RISK for UNCIRUMCIZED unprotected oral sex?
I realize that the only minor risk is for the person performing oral sex and that there is no risk for the other partner - but my question is if this is also true for uncircumcized men (insertive)?
I just want to conclusively know if I can engage in unprotected oral sex (insertive) since I am uncircumcized.

2) I am little confused about N9 containing condoms. Is my understanding correct: They DO reduce risk of pregnancy BUT they SLIGHTLY increase the risk of HIV transmission ONLY TO THE RECEPTIVE PARTNER DURING VAGINAL SEX? Or do they also increase HIV transmission to the penetrative partner? Please clear this up for me cuz I am unsure if I should use these condoms for extra protection against pregnancy.

Offline cobiz

  • Member
  • Posts: 34
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #6 on: June 30, 2006, 06:25:16 PM »
Hi Ann

I have some questions that your comments on another thread " some questions I need to be cleared" have made be to be concerned. Actually, I have quoted you saying that you are yet to see a person contracting hiv from a condom breakage, what do you really mean with this? Does it mean condom breakage never lead to transmission? Secondly, on a personal level, as to your boyfriend who has ever since remained neg after your testing pos was he circumsized during the period of the exposure? I would higly appreciate you answers to this questions.

Kind regards

Offline cobiz

  • Member
  • Posts: 34
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #7 on: June 30, 2006, 06:33:30 PM »
sorry, i realise that I have posted on somebody else thread but please  just give me a response.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #8 on: June 30, 2006, 06:52:28 PM »
need,

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for infection, no matter if you have a foreskin or not.

N9 Does not increase the risk to the insertive partner. It only increases risk if your skin becomes irritated as a result of the N9. This does not usually happen to the insertive partner as the lube that contains N9 is on the outside of the condom.

Ann


Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #9 on: June 30, 2006, 06:53:12 PM »
Cobiz,

You are hijacking this thread and you know we don't allow that. Please post in your own thread. Thank you for your cooperation.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline needtobecareful

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #10 on: September 21, 2006, 02:59:04 PM »
Hi,

I had previously posted with my username 'prayer'. How can I access the archived posts before the format here was changed?

Please lemme know.

Offline needtobecareful

  • Member
  • Posts: 9
Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #11 on: September 21, 2006, 06:50:29 PM »
Hi Guys,

I'd hate to be inpatient, but can you please tell me ASAP how I can access the archived Fears forum before the website was reformatted? I want to access my older postings whivh I had made under the username 'prayer'. Thanks.

Offline needtobecareful

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #12 on: September 21, 2006, 07:02:43 PM »
I just found the archived fears forum -- but why is it empty?

I am going through kind of a diffuclt time since I have finally after 8 months gathered up the courage and take the hiv test (ELISA). Results will be out in few days-week. And I want to read the responses you guys had given me before. They were pretty relieving, and I need some encouragement now.

Any idea on how I can access my postings as 'prayer'?

Offline needtobecareful

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #13 on: September 22, 2006, 03:11:26 AM »
I don't understand why despite being so helpful, sometimes you guys just choose not to answer.

Is there something wrong? Pls let me know.

Anyway, best wishes to you all.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #14 on: September 22, 2006, 05:45:39 AM »
It's not that we chose not to answer you it is that we sleep too. You can no longer access the old forum archived files as you have seen, they no longer exist.

Offline needtobecareful

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #15 on: September 24, 2006, 09:28:17 PM »
Hi Guys.

Hope everything is well with all of you.

I was trying to access the archived forums which are apparently now deleted.

Back in Jan 2006 I had made numerous postings under username Prayer.

Basically I was worried intensely (still am, but less)over a drunken french kissing incident with a girl of unknown status and whom I did not know. The main cause of worry is the fact that there was an accidental bite from me to her and its possible that she bled (Although I did not see any since it was dark and I was drunk). Nevertheless, I have heard of many occasions where people do bleed while french kissing because of bites/tears etc. And by the way, I am mid twenties male and have not had any other risks since I am still a virgin.

Anyway, for the most part you guys did relieve my worries, but not completely. And I have struggled with this incident for the past 9 months, going on and off worry cycles. I have been terrified of testing and happily avoided it since most people (including all of you) said repeatedly that there is no risk, and no need to test even if some blood was involved.

BUT LAST WEEK after another bout of worrying I finally gathered up the courage and went to test and I am still waiting for the results, which god willing will be negative. So even though I am just a username to you guys, I felt that I should thank you for all the releiving information you did provide and to tell you that I have decided to test and will inform you of the result.

Thanks for taking the time to read this. Any feedback and final words of reassurance will be truly appreciated.
Fingers crossed!

All the best to all of you!

Offline needtobecareful

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Re: Some questions I need to have cleared
« Reply #16 on: September 28, 2006, 03:39:33 PM »
GOT MY NEGATIVE RESULT TODAY!!!!!

Thank you all for all of your help and information! You are all indeed doing a great service to humanity.

BEST WISHES TO ALL OF YOU FOR LONG, HAPPY, PROSPEROUS LIVES!

 


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