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Author Topic: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances  (Read 3035 times)

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Offline gonzo

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« on: December 19, 2011, 02:17:40 PM »
Someone I deeply cared about many, many years ago,(and still do) is back in my life, and now I find out he's dying, I had things envisioned for the both of us that will never happen now because I was such a hot headed little punk way back when.
Sometimes you don't get a second chance, so don't mess it up the first time around!
diagnosed in 1990, current Meds: Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #1 on: December 20, 2011, 07:30:05 AM »
((((((Gonzo))))))

I'm so sorry to hear about this. While you may not have a second chance to do some of the things you envisioned, you still have a second chance to give him your love be there for him now and he will need your love and support during this difficult time. It will be difficult - for both of you - but it will be rewarding at the same time. Bittersweet.

I'll be sending you both plenty of love, light, strength and positive healing energy. The body may be beyond healing, but the spirit never is. Hang in there and know we're here for you during this difficult time.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline OneTampa

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,273
  • "Butterflies are free."
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #2 on: December 22, 2011, 07:56:21 PM »
Someone I deeply cared about many, many years ago,(and still do) is back in my life, and now I find out he's dying, I had things envisioned for the both of us that will never happen now because I was such a hot headed little punk way back when.
Sometimes you don't get a second chance, so don't mess it up the first time around!

Gonzo,

Your post hit a nerve with me.  As Ann notes, please relish the time you have again with your friend despite the current circumstances.  Be loving, thoughtful, funny, mad, silly.  Believe me, you will be able to call on those moments to lift your spirits the rest of your life.

Take care.
« Last Edit: December 22, 2011, 07:59:10 PM by OneTampa »
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #3 on: December 22, 2011, 08:04:14 PM »
No good deed go's unpunished, they are probably back into your life for a good reason, be there for them, it's what we do for each other in the end that counts, it's not your fault or theirs, it is what it is

{ HUGS } all around  :)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #4 on: December 23, 2011, 06:18:28 AM »
Take great opportunity of the time you have together, fill it with love. Hugs.

Offline gonzo

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #5 on: December 29, 2011, 09:11:04 AM »
 Thanks for your support, I'm dealing with this a lot better now.
I wasn't doing very well emotionally before he 'popped up', and then I was elated when he did, but when he told me his situation I was devastated.
 I have stopped complaining about my issues which are nothing compared to his, and started living a little more, I can't be there for him if I'm not there for myself
  It hurts to see him in pain tho, I feel so useless I wish I could do more, I never thought our reunion would end up like this, but I'll take whatever time I can get with him, I have never stopped loving him, and I never will.
diagnosed in 1990, current Meds: Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir

Online mecch

  • Member
  • Posts: 11,925
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #6 on: December 29, 2011, 10:30:01 AM »
I have never stopped loving him, and I never will.
You think he feels the same? Maybe you should express that at least once it might be wonderful for you both to have that out on the table.
Im sure that is why the heavens have pushed you back together for this next little journey.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

  • Member
  • Posts: 194
  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #7 on: December 30, 2011, 08:30:03 PM »
I second meech. If there's something you want him to know...tell him now. Don't end up like I did. Having to tell my ex, what I had wanted to tell him for so long, while he lay unconscious on the hospital bed just hours away from dying from cancer (he was HIV-, always thought he'd outlive me by decades). I always thought I'd have that one last chance. But you don't...tough lesson to learn.
« Last Edit: December 30, 2011, 10:41:14 PM by LongTimeSurvivor »
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline gonzo

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #8 on: December 30, 2011, 11:21:11 PM »
 I'm pretty sure he knows how I feel by my actions, I've tried verbalizing it to him, but I end up getting tongue tied, and change the topic.
I'll definitely have a serious talk with him before the year ends, even if I have to have a few drinks in me to get the courage to do so.
diagnosed in 1990, current Meds: Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir

Offline gonzo

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2012, 12:08:26 AM »
Jason's gone, and I'm so angry at myself for waiting so long to reconnect with him, so many things I wish I could change, but now it's too late.
I miss him so much, I can't sleep, I can't go to work, the slightest things makes me cry, I wish I could spend just one more day with him
diagnosed in 1990, current Meds: Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir

Offline Hellraiser

  • Member
  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #10 on: January 14, 2012, 01:30:19 AM »
Jason's gone, and I'm so angry at myself for waiting so long to reconnect with him, so many things I wish I could change, but now it's too late.
I miss him so much, I can't sleep, I can't go to work, the slightest things makes me cry, I wish I could spend just one more day with him

So sorry to hear this.  You have my deepest sympathies =(

Offline joemutt

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,042
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #11 on: January 14, 2012, 03:05:49 AM »
I feel sorrow at your loss, my deepest sympathy.

Offline Ann

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  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #12 on: January 14, 2012, 07:48:45 AM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. ((((((Gonzo))))))

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline gonzo

  • Member
  • Posts: 52
Re: Sometimes there are no 2nd chances
« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2012, 02:29:29 PM »
Thank you all for your kindness and sympathy,

gonzo
diagnosed in 1990, current Meds: Truvada/Reyataz/Norvir

 


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