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Author Topic: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...  (Read 3109 times)

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Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« on: December 17, 2011, 08:58:06 PM »
Since I just signed on to this here forum thingy I figured I better state my bona-fides so my ass doesn't get kicked.

Got tested for HIV shortly after the first blood test was approved. Tested positive. I was 25ish. Needless to say the atmosphere at dinner that night wasn't the best as I sat there crying. The next morning woke up and stared at the ceiling for a bit...then thought to myself "I'm not dead yet" and I haven't looked back since.

That's not to say I wasn't scared sh*tless, but that, I only discovered recently in therapy. My thought at the time was when something happened I'd deal with it then...not spend time worrying. That was quickly squished when I developed Thrush. So HIV went to AIDS rather quickly. Yes, indeedy, added my number to those statistics. That I figured was the beginning of the end and I was still 25ish. Stayed with me for several months and then just...vanished.

Fast forward...never developed anything after that. T-cells stayed around 700ish...give or take. At one point, after I moved to NYC from Atlanta, my NYC doc (love my doc) said he wanted to test me again. Since my T-cells were in the 700s and I had an undetectable viral load he thought I wasn't positive despite the episode of Thrush. That was the weirdest week of my life. After all that time, was I going to find out that I was negative.

Well...no, I was positive. In one sense I was relieved. I knew how to deal with being positive/AIDS. Being possibly negative was actually scary. What would I do with my life?!

Anyway, I went on Atripla in 2009. First time I was on drugs. I had been on testosterone for a while because I was low. Androgel at first but now I do the injection in my butt. Big change since I use to be terrified of needles. Because my doc wants me to have meat on my bones he also prescribes Nandrolone. Which is nice since I work out four times a week. Finally...I have a chest.

I also am on Bupropion XL and Lexapro. Bereavement issues from the death of my first partner 20 or so years ago. Finally realized I had to do something about it. Not healthy to grieve (I mean hours of crying at times) for so long. Meds have done wonders. As I tell my friends..."Oh, so this is what normal life is like."

I think that covers most of that...oh, so I've been positive somewhere between 27 and 33 years. The 33 being when I first had sex with another man. 27 being years since tested. Yes, they all add up. I'm 52. So, I've been positive longer than I've been negative.

Forgot to mention. I've worked pretty much the whole time. Never had to take disability. Had to take unemployment a time or four. NYC Doc says I'll die of old age before I'll die of AIDS. Cheerful thought...I think...

Any questions...please...ask away...just wanted to introduce myself/my avatar...
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline J.R.E.

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  • Joined Dec-2003 Living positive, since 1985.
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #1 on: December 18, 2011, 01:16:15 AM »
My thought at the time was when something happened I'd deal with it then...not spend time worrying.

Hello,....

Welcome, good to hear from you and thanks for the intro! And I know what you mean by the above statement. Like yourself, I also felt, that HIV was something that I just had to deal with, up to and not excluding going into denial for so many years after I tested positive in 1985. The most excruciating pain, was the loss of so many friends through the years.

I tested positive positive in 1985, and in 1989, had the worst case of shingles that I ever had.  This crippled me up fpr a good two weeks, and even today, have areas on my back and stomach, that are " dead area's with, no/ or very little  sensation to touch.

For myself, 18 years passed, since 1985, before I started on any meds. The denial was kicking in full time, and I was one very sick person back in 2003. A hospital stay, snapped me out of that mode, quickly.




Forgot to mention. I've worked pretty much the whole time. Never had to take disability.


I've been pretty fortunate and lucky in this area too.  Although, looking back, I don't know how the hell,  I managed to work back in 2003 with 16 t-cells, but somehow, I pulled through it all.  At 60, years of age, It's a struggle at times, but, I will be able to retire in 2 years. ( two years isn't arriving fast enough) can't wait to just take it easy !




Once again Welcome, , it's good to hear from ya/ Keep on keeping on--- !!! -----Ray   
Current Meds ; Viramune, Epzicom, 40mg of simvastatin, 12.5mg of Hydrochlorothiazide.
Metoprolol tartrate 25mg



http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=40802.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=45159.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39722.msg495621;topicseen#msg495621

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=46806.0

http://forums.poz.com/index.php?topic=39414.msg491701#msg491701


 In October of 2003, My t-cell count was 16, Viral load was over 500,000, Percentage at that time was 5%. I started my first  HAART regimen  on October 24th,03.

 As of 6/4/14,  t-cells are at 423, Viral load <40

 Current % is at 13% 

  
 62 years young.

Online Theyer

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #2 on: December 18, 2011, 07:03:11 AM »
Welcome, welcome.

Great intro , many of us will will be nodding our heads in recognition when reading it,
I look forward to your further posts.

Best wishes

Theyer
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #3 on: December 18, 2011, 11:07:42 AM »
Welcome, and thanks for sharing your story, like many of us LTS I too I'm gravely disabled after testing POZ back in 87, but I know for sure that I probably got infected around 81 or 82 (living in Nor-Cal S.F.Bay Area)

I have underlying health problems that do not permit me to go back to work, and, being under 500 T-cells my doc says "with all of your other health problems, I wouldn't recommend this" besides, I wouldn't make any more $$$ than I already do now (it would be about the same)

all & all we all have a different story to tell about teh AIDS, some of us still work and others cannot EVER....For me I just take it one day @ time, and throw pills into my mouth every 12 hrs, and hope for the best  ;)


Again Welcome


HUGS 

Dennis in ABQ  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #4 on: December 19, 2011, 08:02:14 PM »
Thanks for the greetings...being the new "kid" on the block it takes some time to figure out the neighborhood.

Which is a point that has occurred to me. I seem to be an outlier in this group. Most of you have suffered a great deal from having AIDS. With that knowledge, unfortunately hard won, you have a vantage point from which to respond intelligently to some of the posts on here.

I, on the other hand, have really had no problems since being diagnosed...other than the thrush episode. The only reason I am on Atripla now is because of the medical community reevaluating HIV/AIDS care guidelines. My T-cells had gone down to 500 and my doctor said according to the new guidelines it was probably time to consider going on medication. We talked and I agreed.

Even with being on Atripla I haven't had any issues. I never seem to suffer any side effects whatever they put in me. I sleep pretty good now that I'm on Bupropion and Lexapro. I workout four times a week...my energy level is good, evidenced by my pushing 95lb dumbbells for flat bench press among other things. I even got over my fear of needles because of the medication my doctor wanted me to take...it was only injectable. One funny thing that came out of that was it's so hard to really see in the mirror where I need to put the needle in my butt muscle that I went and had my butt tattooed so I'd know where to put the needle. Needless to say, my friends get no end of merriment out of that.

The upshot is...I'm probably going to hang back a bit on giving advice. My experience doesn't seem to be germane to most issues on this particular board. Doesn't mean I won't write but I think I'll choose my topics very carefully.

Again, thanks for the greetings...much appreciated.
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Online Theyer

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #5 on: December 20, 2011, 06:48:43 PM »
You do not have to be have  ill to offer support,opinions and the like. Your comment will be welcome your support also. I would be a very isolated person if only the friends who had been ill I listen to and in the Early days lonely as they kept dying.

Now I am on this theme medical care would be a bit patchy too.

Don,t join in if you do want to but I would not exclude you for the reasons you gave.

mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #6 on: January 03, 2012, 01:44:53 PM »
Welcome to you, Long Time Survivor.   I lived in Atlanta also, from 1986 until 2001.
Tested poz in 1987, was extremely ill / near death during the 90's.   Saquinavir saved me, in 1995-96.   I've taken dump truck loads of meds since 1988...and continue to do so each and every day.

Like you, I am on bupropion; also, I am on Paxil.   It helps me to stay "functional".  Some days, I think that if I actually sat down, pondered everything that has happened to me, and the iffy-ness (how's that for a new word?) of my future, I would begin to cry uncontrollably, and no one could ever make me stop.   So I don't sit down and ponder...

I'm also on testosterone therapy, 200 mg injected every 2 weeks.   It helps me tremendously, and I can FEEL it if I am late in getting my shot....

Judging from your avatar pic, you look really good.   Glad you are working out and staying fit.   I was VERY fit around 1999-2001....then less so, and now, not at all.

We're a pretty good bunch of folks here; several of us LTSers stay mainly to this forum, because we seem to be a pretty misunderstood bunch in the "Living With" section.   Kind of an apples and oranges thing....

Glad you've joined us, look forward to hearing more from you!

Hugs, Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline wolfter

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #7 on: January 03, 2012, 02:38:22 PM »
Sorry I missed this thread and forgot to welcome you.  Too bad we didn't have access to these forums in the early days.  Would have been a great support system.

Welcome and best wishes.

Wolfie
productivity breeds content

Offline aztecan

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  • 29 years positive, 56 years a pain in the butt
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2012, 10:31:36 AM »
Hey LTS,

I also am late in welcoming you, but I'm glad you've joined in.

As Theyer said, you don't have to have been sick to post or lend support.

Keep on posting.

HUGS,

Mark
"May your life preach more loudly than your lips."
~ William Ellery Channing (Unitarian Minister)

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2012, 09:18:07 PM »
Decided to update my avatar.  :)

Figured I wanted to avoid confusion. Still me...just different distribution of facial hair.
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline tee

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #10 on: September 05, 2012, 12:47:29 PM »
Hello, I am a mother,daughter and grandmother living with hiv for 15 years. I went on meds 15 yeasr ago, I have gone on and off  of meds a few times, but for the most part have been on meds and doing well. my biggest struggle with hiv has been loneliness. I have yet to meet other white women living with hiv. if you google white women and hiv all subjects change to black women and hiv. after all this years the stigma has not changed. still searching for m.d.g. just like me.

Offline mitch777

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #11 on: September 05, 2012, 05:49:35 PM »
welcome (late) LTS,
while my story has it's similarities as far as timing goes and have not ever been diagnosed with AIDS, I am NOT beefy (and never have been) like you.
been on meds for 15+ years.
131 lbs. 5' 10" 53 years old.
genes, strain of virus, etc. in my humble opinion can be a sgnificant factor.
glad to hear you are doing great!
please don't be too shy with your contributions to the forum.
sounds like you are sensitive to those of us that have more health issues.
welcome!
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #12 on: September 05, 2012, 06:25:02 PM »
Hello, I am a mother,daughter and grandmother living with hiv for 15 years. I went on meds 15 yeasr ago, I have gone on and off  of meds a few times, but for the most part have been on meds and doing well. my biggest struggle with hiv has been loneliness. I have yet to meet other white women living with hiv. if you google white women and hiv all subjects change to black women and hiv. after all this years the stigma has not changed. still searching for m.d.g. just like me.
welcome to the forums, Tee.  :D You might want to start up a thread of your own in the Positive Women forum, if you'd like to talk directly to other women with HIV. I'm sure you'll find quite a few other members who can relate to you and your issues. Of course, guys can't post in that forum, and those who haven't been dx'ed since the early days can't post in this forum, so you also might want to post something in the "living with" forum so any member could chat with you.  ;)


btw, I really like the new improved avie, LTS ;)
« Last Edit: September 05, 2012, 06:27:10 PM by leatherman »
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline bear60

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Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #13 on: September 12, 2012, 08:56:13 PM »
Please direct Tee to the womens forum.

As for come ons....I always took the hand to the crotch approach.
Poz Bear Type in Philadelphia

Offline LongTimeSurvivor

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  • I don'no...there may be Zombears...in theres...
Re: Bar come-on: So...what brings you here...
« Reply #14 on: September 24, 2012, 04:09:43 PM »
Naughty...naughty...naughty...bear...
Of course it's important. It's an email...

 


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