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Author Topic: How much money is really enough?  (Read 13288 times)

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Offline Hoover

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #100 on: January 06, 2012, 06:10:20 PM »
Sorry about the bad stuff in yalls history.
Other than our x-wife trying to cause trouble, things are cool here.
I tell the husband that he better be good to me as he has no clue where funds are kept. He has no idea of the bank accounts or passwords. God knows I have tried to tell him, but he likes it this way. One of my sisters and our son know all the accounts to help him out if I get bit by a Terciopelo and die in our yard.
Funny how different people handle their lives together.

Cheers,
Hoover and what's his name ;D
Infection date: March 16, 2010
20/05/10 - CD4 348  VL 58,000  Lymph nodes in jaw painful!  Antioxidants started.
01/06/10 - CD4 428  VL?
24/06/10 - CD4 578  VL 9,800
13/07/10 - CD4 620  VL?
04/09/10 - CD4 648  VL?
01/11/10 - CD4 710  VL?   CD8 972
16/12/10    CD4 738  VL?  CD8  896   
02/02/11    CD4 520 (month of parasites and new lab)
14/03/11 started Truvida and Sustiva (Efavirenz)
04/07/11 CD4 686 VL 75 CD8 588  41%
10/10/11 CD4 757  45%  VL UD

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #101 on: January 06, 2012, 07:04:43 PM »
Sorry about the bad stuff in yalls history.

Cheers,
Hoover and what's his name ;D

Well, it's not really bad, we were young, and before we actually met each other is when all this stuff happened to us, it's a hard lesson, but never-the-less a lesson learned to say the least, I'm sure everyone
in this forum (are those who have to balls to admit it) has been taken to the cleaners in one form or another in their lifetime, be careful who you trust, there is a lotta TAKERS OUT THERE  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #102 on: January 06, 2012, 10:28:09 PM »
I had a nice chuckle reading this.  I was a budget analyst for the federal government at the former Newark Airforce Base.  I oversaw a $34 Million  annual budget and had a reputation for being uber conservative.  If my budget chief had ever looked into my personal finances, I'd have probably been demoted to a clerk position.  I'm great with others' money, just not my own.  I was fortunate to have a spouse who handled all of that. 

Wolfie

HAHA wow what are the odds. Maybe its a requirement for the job is to be completely crazy with your own personal finances so that we can focus all of our energies at work LOL. It's nice to meet someone else from that field, what a coincidence  ;)
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline Ann

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #103 on: January 07, 2012, 03:56:08 AM »
I've always kept my money separate in a relationship too. The only slight exception was when I was married. We both had our separate accounts, but we had one joint account for shared bill paying (ie rent, utilities etc) into which we both deposited a set amount each month. It worked great.

I was always the one to sit down and write the cheques each month. I can't remember the last time I paid a bill by cheque - the bills I have now I either pay online or in cash, in person.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline numbersguy82

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #104 on: January 07, 2012, 09:52:15 AM »
I've always kept my money separate in a relationship too. The only slight exception was when I was married. We both had our separate accounts, but we had one joint account for shared bill paying (ie rent, utilities etc) into which we both deposited a set amount each month. It worked great.

I was always the one to sit down and write the cheques each month. I can't remember the last time I paid a bill by cheque - the bills I have now I either pay online or in cash, in person.

Agreed Ann... I think it's a wise decision to keep personal finances seperate. I think in this day and age there is nothing wrong with keeping a joint account for shared bills, but maintaining your own nest egg on the side. At this point I don't know if I would ever live with a man again. I love my independence and freedom that goes along with seperate spaces. It's 2012 afterall and we are all suffering from a disease that, lets face it, is expensive to maintain. We owe it to ourselves and our health to be responsible enough to ensure our medical needs are taken care of and that means having our own money on the side somewhere.
8/10- 73 cd4, 7%, and 300k VL *First Labs*
9/10- Started Norvir, Prezista, and Truvada
10/10- 511 cd4, 22%, and 886 VL
12/10- 498 cd4, 22%, and 106 VL
3/11- 529 cd4, 29%, and 101 VL
8/11- 620 cd4, 30%, and 74 VL- Switched to Atripla
10/11- 580 ce4, 30%, and 62 VL
12/11- 684 cd4, 31%, and FINALLY *UD*

Offline bocker3

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #105 on: January 07, 2012, 12:41:46 PM »
Here is a bit of a twist......

Sid and I have combined just about all our finances.  We kept them separate for the first 10 yrs or so.  We have combined for a number of reasons, it's easier to manage, etc.  However, one big reason is that by having us listed together on the accounts, if one of us dies the money automatically goes to the other.  Our accounts are jointly owned with right of survivorship (or some such wording).  This way, there is little chance of monies getting caught up in any estate battle with the "legal" family.
Yes, we have all the right legal documents together, but that doesn't stop someone from stepping in and contesting things.  Even if our docs help us prevail, it could tie up the estate for months or years.  Having our checking and saving accounts always accessible to each other takes that worry away.  It's also why I make sure that my life insurance policy (gotten while still neg) gets paid automatically -- this won't go through probate either, but directly to Sid.  Because there is such a mismatch in our earnings, I need to make sure that Sid is protected if something happens to me -- so that he wouldn't lose the house and everything we've built together over these 21+ years.
I think it is wise to be cautious, especially early in a relationship -- but caution also comes with a potential "price".

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #106 on: January 07, 2012, 12:57:16 PM »
Here is a bit of a twist......


Mike

Mike, that's a good idea for the both of you guys, you are a home owner w/ real property, and kids, so YES, you have to do everything possible to protect that, however Bob & I don't own anything, and we don't possess any real property, both  of our families don't care or even want any of our stuff which has little to no value to anyone.....

Bob & I like it that way , we both have life Ins. and both of us are the sole beneficiaries as well as medical power of attorney if any of us should need to pull the plug (so to speak) we both have a DNR order in our medical records, so @ least we took care of the basics , were glad that things aren't or won't be legally complicated for us in the end, it's all taken care of ( so to speak)  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Hoover

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #107 on: January 07, 2012, 01:13:52 PM »
Mike,

We are in the same boat, everything was placed in corporations we own to protect the other from that 3rd cousin or closer family member that decides to claim the dead partner's properties.
Even our kids do not have claim to any of our belongings.
The things we built and saved will not be taken from the other after one of us dies.

Also here in CR, the lawyer gets 20% of the estate for just writing a will.
(they don't mention that one!)
No wills here, just partnership in accounts and corporations.
Infection date: March 16, 2010
20/05/10 - CD4 348  VL 58,000  Lymph nodes in jaw painful!  Antioxidants started.
01/06/10 - CD4 428  VL?
24/06/10 - CD4 578  VL 9,800
13/07/10 - CD4 620  VL?
04/09/10 - CD4 648  VL?
01/11/10 - CD4 710  VL?   CD8 972
16/12/10    CD4 738  VL?  CD8  896   
02/02/11    CD4 520 (month of parasites and new lab)
14/03/11 started Truvida and Sustiva (Efavirenz)
04/07/11 CD4 686 VL 75 CD8 588  41%
10/10/11 CD4 757  45%  VL UD

Offline bocker3

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  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #108 on: January 07, 2012, 01:50:43 PM »
Mike, that's a good idea for the both of you guys, you are a home owner w/ real property, and kids, so YES, you have to do everything possible to protect that, however Bob & I don't own anything, and we don't possess any real property, both  of our families don't care or even want any of our stuff which has little to no value to anyone.....

Bob & I like it that way , we both have life Ins. and both of us are the sole beneficiaries as well as medical power of attorney if any of us should need to pull the plug (so to speak) we both have a DNR order in our medical records, so @ least we took care of the basics , were glad that things aren't or won't be legally complicated for us in the end, it's all taken care of ( so to speak)  ;)

I want to be clear -- I'm not saying our way is the better way -- I was just giving another view.
As for the house -- that is something that could get litigated if anyone in my family decided to do so.  It is in my name, because I initially bought it with a VA loan and could not use that benefit with a "non-spouse".  When I refinanced to a conventional mortgage a few years back if I added Sid there would have been a giant "gift" tax due -- so the house remains solely in my name.
My larger concern was around our cash assets.  If I die, they instantly become only his.  No one can really tie that up in court.  Of course, I suppose ANYTHING could be litigated, so we have already talked about being sure to move most of the cash out of the joint accounts and into new "single" accounts upon a death. 
In the end - many don't like to talk about these sorts of things, but there probably isn't a more important conversation for long-term couples.  Losing one of us would be devastating enough to the other, without then having to deal with a potential lack of cash too.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline leatherman

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #109 on: January 07, 2012, 04:47:21 PM »
but there probably isn't a more important conversation for long-term couples.
except for the added discussion about living wills and medical power of attnry (which in my case, of having poverty-stricken partners, has always been more important in the end than any money matters)  ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #110 on: January 07, 2012, 05:19:40 PM »
I suppose ANYTHING could be litigated
Mike

True, all of this to me sounds very complicated and I've seen things go south rather quickly in these matters
where as the police had to be called, and few arrest were made, it's not a very good situation for anyone....

but hey, at least your thinking ahead as far as all of your family members & of course Sid, if something should happen to you, always good to have a solid plain of action, but, no matter what you really do, someone will always end up unhappy, you simply cannot please each & every one of them....

when it comes to property & $$$ I've seen people do some really rude stuff to each other, and not in a good way at all..... I'm glad you though all of this thur  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline newt

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #111 on: January 07, 2012, 06:40:43 PM »
Well this thread prompted me to make a will, and "what little I have" turned out to be possibly more when I am dead (a flat is flat, right, and you can live in it...). It  is amazing the complexities of this, like what ifs? But is done, and some of the scenarios were not nice to think about. Solicitor was ace, thought of at least 3 unlikely scenarios I hadn't. UK people, married or not, if you have 2-500 and a house/mortgage/passable tenancy rights, go spend the money and make a will.
--m att
"The object is to be a well patient, not a good patient"

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #112 on: January 07, 2012, 06:53:48 PM »
Well this thread prompted me to make a will
A will is good, if you've got something as a tangible assett and want to leave it to a loved one...

Both Bob & I are 55 yrs old, and in poor health, we don't have any children, don't own anything, and aren't obligated to anyone for anything, and we don't want the rest of our life to be complicated
in any way, we like our life together, and wouldn't change a thing...our life is good  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline bocker3

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #113 on: January 07, 2012, 07:38:51 PM »
except for the added discussion about living wills and medical power of attnry (which in my case, of having poverty-stricken partners, has always been more important in the end than any money matters)  ;)

True....  I was bunching all that together in my comment -- without ever stating it, so thanks for pointing that out. 

A will is good, if you've got something as a tangible assett and want to leave it to a loved one...

Both Bob & I are 55 yrs old, and in poor health, we don't have any children, don't own anything, and aren't obligated to anyone for anything, and we don't want the rest of our life to be complicated
in any way, we like our life together, and wouldn't change a thing...our life is good  ;)
Dying without a will -- even if one is "poor" can still leave major headaches for the surviving partner.  Upon your death, without a will, "legally" everything of yours conveys to your next of kin (that being the "legal" kin).  So, it is possible that a partner still loses whateve you may have -- including sentimental items -- if a family member jumps in. 
Without a legal document stating that your partner has final say on what happens to your remains, you might have family brought in anyway -- the "authorities" may look to them for this guidance and ignore your partner.
 
It is still so amazing to me that so many folks don't get how important legal recognition of our relationships really is -- just the legal hassles that ensue without it.  Letting us "marry" would instantly remove the bulk of these idiotic hassles.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #114 on: January 07, 2012, 07:55:55 PM »
True....  I was bunching all that together in my comment -- without ever stating it, so thanks for pointing that out. 
Dying without a will -- even if one is "poor" can still leave major headaches for the surviving partner.  Upon your death, without a will, "legally" everything of yours conveys to your next of kin (that being the "legal" kin).  So, it is possible that a partner still loses whateve you may have -- including sentimental items -- if a family member jumps in. 
Without a legal document stating that your partner has final say on what happens to your remains, you might have family brought in anyway -- the "authorities" may look to them for this guidance and ignore your partner.

If I should die, Bob doesn't loose anything except me & my income, my Twin Sister isn't interested in anything we don't have she makes over 300K a yr. so she doesn't care... his family lives 2,000 miles
away, and they aren't interested in anything Bob doesn't have....we have NOTHING to take, it go's where ever hopefully the goodwill or something like that...... not even our life Ins. can be detested, we checked
it's such a small amount anyway ( under 5K each)

[/quote]
 
It is still so amazing to me that so many folks don't get how important legal recognition of our relationships really is -- just the legal hassles that ensue without it.  Letting us "marry" would instantly remove the bulk of these idiotic hassles.

Mike
[/quote]

YES I agree, that would help somewhat and make all of this less messy in the end  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline leatherman

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #115 on: January 08, 2012, 12:29:29 AM »
True....  I was bunching all that together in my comment -- without ever stating it, so thanks for pointing that out. 
I knew you understood Mike ;), I just wanted to point out since everyone was talking about house-ownership and money, that even without those factors there are legal hassles that need paperwork to help the surviving partner in simply dealing with the medical needs of the soon-to-be-deceased partner.

It is still so amazing to me that so many folks don't get how important legal recognition of our relationships really is -- just the legal hassles that ensue without it.  Letting us "marry" would instantly remove the bulk of these idiotic hassles.
Amen to that!

Dying without a will -- even if one is "poor" can still leave major headaches for the surviving partner.   ...
.
ain't that the truth? Being poor leaves no room for leeway. Instead of worrying about whose children may play vulture and come circling in for the house and money while an estate goes to probate, there's the concern about what the heck to do now with that partner's portion of the monthly income gone - like keeping the utilities on, the rent/mortgage paid, food in the cupboards and whether the vehicle will be repossessed and/or whether one will have to move before the end of the month has come. :o
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #116 on: January 08, 2012, 10:52:35 AM »
there's the concern about what the heck to do now with that partner's portion of the monthly income gone - like keeping the utilities on, the rent/mortgage paid, food in the cupboards and whether the vehicle will be repossessed and/or whether one will have to move before the end of the month has come. :o

I never had to worry about such things when my last BF died, all I lost was his income, I was still able to keep everything going, utilities, rent/mortgage, food in the cupboards and the vehicle was in my name, after about a month or two, I was able to find Bob, he had an income, and his own vehicle, has own money, his own banking his own credit cards, so he moved-in, and told me "hey you need the help so be thankful" and I like you your a very nice honest guy , so here we are almost 18 yrs later  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline MitchMiller

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #117 on: January 15, 2012, 02:59:34 AM »

Offline Ann

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #118 on: January 15, 2012, 06:31:35 AM »

This will tell you how much you need to retire:


I don't need AARP to tell me how much I need to retire, I need to retire very, very much - preferably to a beach-front house in Hawaii.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #119 on: January 15, 2012, 02:42:10 PM »
This will tell you how much you need to retire:

http://www.aarp.org/work/retirement-planning/retirement_calculator/?intcmp=HP-link1-spot1

Funny you mention AARP. both Bob & I think that is the biggest farce ever, and when we get anything in the mail from AARP we just run it thur the paper-shredder, Bob did have AARP a few yrs ago, and ended up burning his AARP card in effigy  ;D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline LiveWithIt

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #120 on: July 01, 2012, 02:49:52 AM »
I have to agree with Jeff - it is subjective -
I work full time and make a fairly good salary with good benefits; however, South Florida can be an expensive place to live.



South Florida is much cheaper than say north NJ.  You'd be lucky to find a studio in Newark for $750 but you can find a small one bedroom apartment just a little north of Fort Lauderdale 3 blocks from the beach for $750.  You can find a decent bigger apartment for $650 a few miles from the beach.  (basically all of south Florida is a few miles from the beach) You might find something even cheaper if you are willing to live in a studio, or efficiency as they call it here.   There are cheaper states to live in, but as far as a major metropolitan area, and especially with a gay scene, south Florida is one of the cheapest to live.

Luckily growing up we didn't have a lot of money so I know how to live within my means,  we weren't so poor that we couldn't afford food or clothing or shelter, but we didn't vacation, besides weekend day trips to the beach or lake in the summer.   A friend of mine grew up upper middle class and I just told him he doesn't know how to live like a poor person.  If he gets extra money like a tax return or some commission money from a job he left his first instinct is to spend it rather than saving it.  One time he said he had only a few dollars on his debit card left for the month and one time he said he only had 35 cents on him.  :-[

I really have to get my S together.  Now is the time that the relatives are getting older and I will have to drive back  or fly 1300 miles when one passes away to attend the funerals.
« Last Edit: July 01, 2012, 03:01:11 AM by LiveWithIt »
Pray God you can cope
I know you have a little life in you yet.
I know you have a lot of strength left.

Offline elf

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Re: How much money is really enough?
« Reply #121 on: July 01, 2012, 03:25:44 PM »
I don't need AARP to tell me how much I need to retire, I need to retire very, very much - preferably to a beach-front house in Hawaii.
good choice  ;)
Let's have a Kiki!

 


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