Quantcast

Subscribe to:
POZ magazine
E-newsletters
Join POZ: Facebook MySpace Twitter Pinterest
Tumblr Google+ Flickr MySpace
POZ Personals
Sign In / Join
Username:
Password:
Welcome, Guest. Please login or register.
April 20, 2014, 11:26:10 PM

Login with username, password and session length


Members
Stats
  • Total Posts: 620617
  • Total Topics: 46759
  • Online Today: 273
  • Online Ever: 585
  • (January 07, 2014, 02:31:47 PM)
Users Online
Users: 2
Guests: 200
Total: 202

Welcome


Welcome to the POZ/AIDSmeds Community Forums, a round-the-clock discussion area for people with HIV/AIDS, their friends/family/caregivers, and others concerned about HIV/AIDS.  Click on the links below to browse our various forums; scroll down for a glance at the most recent posts; or join in the conversation yourself by registering on the left side of this page.

Privacy Warning:  Please realize that these forums are open to all, and are fully searchable via Google and other search engines. If you are HIV positive and disclose this in our forums, then it is almost the same thing as telling the whole world (or at least the World Wide Web). If this concerns you, then do not use a username or avatar that are self-identifying in any way. We do not allow the deletion of anything you post in these forums, so think before you post.

  • The information shared in these forums, by moderators and members, is designed to complement, not replace, the relationship between an individual and his/her own physician.

  • All members of these forums are, by default, not considered to be licensed medical providers. If otherwise, users must clearly define themselves as such.

  • Forums members must behave at all times with respect and honesty. Posting guidelines, including time-out and banning policies, have been established by the moderators of these forums. Click here for “Am I Infected?” posting guidelines. Click here for posting guidelines pertaining to all other POZ/AIDSmeds community forums.

  • We ask all forums members to provide references for health/medical/scientific information they provide, when it is not a personal experience being discussed. Please provide hyperlinks with full URLs or full citations of published works not available via the Internet. Additionally, all forums members must post information which are true and correct to their knowledge.

  • Product advertisement—including links; banners; editorial content; and clinical trial, study or survey participation—is strictly prohibited by forums members unless permission has been secured from POZ.

To change forums navigation language settings, click here (members only), Register now

Para cambiar sus preferencias de los foros en español, haz clic aquí (sólo miembros), Regístrate ahora

Finished Reading This? You can collapse this or any other box on this page by clicking the symbol in each box.

Welcome to Am I Infected

IMPORTANT UPDATE
Posted Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Welcome to the "Am I Infected?" AIDSmeds forum.

New members -- those who have posted three or fewer messages -- are permitted to post questions and responses, free of charge (make them count!). Ongoing participation in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- posting more than three questions or responses -- requires a paid subscription.

A seven-day subscription is $9.99, a 30-day subscription is $14.99 and a 90-day subscription is $24.99.

Anyone who needs to post more than three messages in the "Am I Infected?" forum -- including past, present and future AIDSmeds Forums members -- will need to subscribe, with secure payments made via PayPal.

There will be no charge to continue reading threads in the "Am I Infected?" forum, nor will there be a charge for participating in any of the Main Forums; Meds, Mind, Body & Benefits; and Off Topic Forums. Similarly, all AIDSmeds pages, including our "How is HIV Transmitted?" and "Am I Infected? (A Guide to Testing for HIV)" lessons, will remain accessible to all. 

NOTE: HIV testing questions will still need to be posted in the "Am I Infected?" forum; attempts to post HIV symptoms or testing questions in any other forums will be considered violations of our rules of membership and subject to time-outs and permanent bans.

To learn how to upgrade your Forums account to participate beyond three posts in the "Am I Infected?" Forum, please click here.

Thank you for your understanding and future support of the best online support service for people living with, affected by and at risk for HIV.

Author Topic: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!  (Read 1599 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline worried2012

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« on: December 07, 2011, 06:02:11 AM »
I am extremely worried about a possible HIV exposure.Thanks in advance for your help!! On Saturday, December 3rd I had "safer" sex with a guy. We went out tonight - Tuesday, December 6 - and he told me that he is HIV+! I am angry that he told me three days AFTER our encounter and moreso because I am way outside the PEP window now. Can you please assess my risk??

WHAT I DID:

- Moderate French kissing for five minutes
- Gave a blowjob for one minute (no precum, no ejaculation)
- Received a blowjob for three minutes (no ejaculation)
- Frottage/mutual masturbation (ejaculation)

MY STATS:

- No previous STDs per August bloodwork. No sexual encounters up until now.

HIS STATS:

- Diagnosed one year ago. Has not started HIV meds. CD4 approximately 500. Assigned to a specialist at a major clinic.     
12/7/11 -- HIV Negative -- OraQuick Advance Rapid/Clearview HIV 1/2 Rapid Test
12/7/11 -- STD Negative  -- Full STD Panel
12/27/11 -- Scheduled OraQuick Advance + HIV DNA/RNA Test

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« Reply #1 on: December 07, 2011, 06:20:04 AM »
Worried,

You don't need PEP because nothing you did - or had done to you - was a risk for hiv infection. Sexually speaking, the only proven risks are unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. You didn't have intercourse.

You need to assume EVERYONE you have intimate encounters with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly. That means condoms for intercourse, every time, no exceptions.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST SPECIFICALLY OVER ANYTHING IN THAT ENCOUNTER, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jkinatl2

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« Reply #2 on: December 07, 2011, 06:58:03 PM »
Just wanted to chime in and agree with Ann. Also, to suggest that you assume every partner is HIV positive and protect yourself accordingly. That way there won't be this anger, because you will not be behaving differently towards HIV negative partners then HIV positive ones.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« Reply #3 on: December 08, 2011, 09:20:32 AM »
Worried,

Jonathan is absolutely right. You can't go by what people tell you about their hiv status, or how they look or what they do for a living or whatever. Many people do not accurately know their hiv status and sometimes people lie.

The stigma and discrimination that surrounds hiv is a powerful motivator for people to keep their mouth shut when it comes to admitting they are poz. Please don't add to the discrimination - I hope you've not been nasty to this guy. He's a human being just like you. He just happens to have a virus, one that using condoms will protect you against.

Like Jonathan says, you need to assume that ANYONE you are intimate with is hiv positive and protect yourself accordingly. It's really simple - just use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse and you will avoid hiv infection - and other STIs as well.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline worried2012

  • member
  • Posts: 2
Re: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« Reply #4 on: December 08, 2011, 09:46:04 AM »
Ann and Jonathan - Thank you for your helpful comments! I wasn't mean with the guy after he disclosed his positive status. We have continued to speak since then. I definitely told him I was angry though. I was taken advantage of!!   

I understand the fact that POZ people face stigma/discrimination. My brother has done pro bono legal work for HIV+ clients. If the guy had he been upfront with me, this whole SNAFU could have been avoided.

Unfortunately, I am still a bit worried about the "theoretical" risk of infection via oral sex. Yesterday, I took a OraQuick Rapid HIV test to re-confirm my current negative status. I also got a flu shot to reduce the chance I confuse symptoms for ARS.

Here's the problem: In 6 weeks, I will be on an extended business trip in South Asia. Where can I find a confidential/English rapid HIV test over there?? 
12/7/11 -- HIV Negative -- OraQuick Advance Rapid/Clearview HIV 1/2 Rapid Test
12/7/11 -- STD Negative  -- Full STD Panel
12/27/11 -- Scheduled OraQuick Advance + HIV DNA/RNA Test

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Sex with HIV+ Man. Worried! Risk?!
« Reply #5 on: December 08, 2011, 10:47:27 AM »
worried,

You can look for clinics in Asia by searching the database at aidsmap.com's e-atlas.

Unless you have absolutely horrible oral health and his viral load is sky-high (which I doubt as he would have been put on meds if it was high), there's no way you're going to be infected by a one minute blowjob with no precum and no ejaculation. No way. And him sucking you is not a risk at all.

Are you aware that there have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one. Not all of the poz people in these studies were on meds with an undetectable viral load.

I understand you are angry over not being given information that may have changed your mind about what activities you participated in, but he did not put you at risk. His positive status should not have changed anything you did. I hope you remain friends. In fact, there's a very good chance that there are other positive people in your life that you don't know about. Many people are very closeted about their status. More importantly, many people do not even know they're poz. Please encourage the people in your life to test regularly. Thanks!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


Terms of Membership for these forums
 

© 2014 Smart + Strong. All Rights Reserved.   terms of use and your privacy
Smart + Strong® is a registered trademark of CDM Publishing, LLC.