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Dont know what to do :(

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Im 24 years old and just tested positive for HIV. I dont know what to do know and i feel everything is just coming to an end. I dont know if i want to start on medicine. Ive heard people have died faster because of that. Anyone heard the same? Does the medicine help you live longer? I feel awful. Dont know if its my body or my brain. Starting to getting paranoid and that i maybe not wake up the next morning.

But the worst part is that i cannot go into a relasionship with a woman no more. I always wanted to create a family and have a good life but no i just waiting for my death. Its frightning and i dont know what to do :'(

Matty the Damned:

I'm sorry to hear that you've tested positive for HIV.

About the medications. There is overwhelming scientific evidence that medications aka Highly Active Anti-Retroviral Therapy or HAART significantly increase the lifespan of HIV positive people. Not just that but for the vast majority of HIVers on HAART the quality of that life is improved as well. There are a large number of people here who would not be with us without HAART.

People who have lived 25+ years in some cases.

It's true that HAART can be very punishing for some people. The side effects can be most unpleasant, nevertheless, most people find those side-effects tolerable. Many people don't experience significant ill effects as a result of medications at all.

You don't have to leap head first into medication treatments right now. In fact, I'd recommend you wait until you have an idea just how your HIV is progressing. Many people can go for years without medications and feel perfectly healthy. Indeed, there is some wisdom in taking a more measured approach. HAART is a serious commitment and not one to be entered into lightly.

Darlin' you're only waiting to die if that how you decide to think. We don't use the term "people living with HIV" for nothing, you know. ;) Similarly, there's no reason why you can't have a fulfilling intimate relationship with another person and even have children if that's what you desire. There may well be options such as adoption or fostering, but you should know that there are also methods of conceiving "naturally" available to HIVers. Certainly there are complications, but then such is life.

Finally welcome to the Forums. Take the time to read our lessons section. You'll find the link to our treatments and testing lessons in the upper left hand corner of the page.



first i am sorry to here that you tested positive.
having only just tested positive myself i dont know that im one that should be giving you advice but if you dont mind, i will tell you what I choose to believe
first and foremost hiv is not the death sentence it once was.
you dont mention what your cd4 and virus level counts are and i wonder if you just tested positive have you already gotten the first numbers back?
even assuming your doctor did want to start you on meds, from what i  ve seen and heard time and time again is that the meds are able to bring the virus levels down to undetectable i am not going to get much further into this area because as i said im just feeling my way around this new world myself now.  i WOULD suggest you click on the lessons pages and try to read them...for me at least i found them very helpful and above all know this  YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE please stick around read others posts they can be a great source for inspiration. and by all means ASK questions!
my name is Jeff  and im here if you need a hug or need to talk


Welcome to the forums. It is always difficult to welcome someone new here, but I am sure that you WILL find the support and knowledge you need in living with HIV.

I completely understand the emotions that you are going through. The ups and downs the anxiety, the anger, guilt, the fear. It is something that everyone of us has gone through at some point. For me, my earliest fears began back in 1985, when I was diagnosed positive. Its been 21 years since that time.

I can also tell you that if I had not started on medication when I did, back in October of 2003, I would not be typing this message out to you right now. The meds have saved my life. I still work full time. I was diagnosed when I was 33 , I am now 54, soon to be 55 in a couple months.

My advice to you at this point, would be to take things slowly, give yourself some time to adjust to this new lifestyle and knowledge of your status, of living with HIV. And, by the way, there is absolutely no reason why you can't be in a relationship. I know things are tough right now, and that things can seem very frightening, but I can tell you that things will get better, if you allow yourself to live in a positive frame of mind.

Read up on the lessons when you are ready, and don't be afraid to ask questions !! The more you understand, on how to live with this virus, the better your life will ultimately be. You may not believe this right now, but this is not the end of your world. It will certainly change,  but you will still be a part of it.

Take care of yourself---------Ray

Andy Velez:
You've already received some sage advice from regular members here. And we're glad you found your way to this site.

Right now HIV feels huge and overwhelming. Given time you will see that it will remain an important part of your life, but only a part of it. And your dream of having a family will still be possible. That's further down the line, but I will tell you that methods have been developed which allow for those who are HIV+ to safely have children without passing on the virus.

Right now it's first things first. You need to have a doctor who's regularly monitoring your statistics and with whom you can form a good working partnership to keep you healthy. That will be help you to see that your life is going to go on and that it's going to be about much more than just HIV. Gradually you will learn everything you need to know about taking care of your health.

Please read the lessons on this site. I think you will find them helpful. Remember that you're always welcome to ask questions here and to bring up anything you want to discuss.

This is a challenging time for you, but you can get through it. And then life is going to go on. Really.



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