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Author Topic: I'm in the hospital.... again.  (Read 8806 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

Offline odyssey

  • Member
  • Posts: 763
  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #50 on: November 25, 2011, 07:07:05 PM »
Yeah. Looks like I'm stuck on these meds until Monday or Tuesday at the earliest. The difficulty with the situation is that my ID doc is at one hospital about an hour and a half south of the hospital I was sent to due to a lack of beds. Otherwise, I'm pretty sure my doc would have come to see my on the unit to discuss this. Whug! It certainly doesn't help that I'm beyond nauseous either.  :( Hopefully the zofran helps with that a little!
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline anniebc

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  • Posts: 5,885
  • AM member since 2003
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #51 on: November 25, 2011, 07:15:22 PM »
Hey sweetheart, I haven't been on line for a wee while so missed all this..just wanted to say I'm thinking of you and sending you big hugs..get better soon.

Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #52 on: November 25, 2011, 07:22:19 PM »
awww thanks Jan! I was just thinking of you awhile ago and silently hoping you might peek in! Yay! Hugs gratefully accepted and reciprocated!

<3
odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline anniebc

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #53 on: November 25, 2011, 07:24:49 PM »
awww thanks Jan! I was just thinking of you awhile ago and silently hoping you might peek in! Yay! Hugs gratefully accepted and reciprocated!

<3
odyssey

Instead of a report button we should have a *Like* or *Dislike* button..if we did I'd press the like button on this one.. ;)

Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #54 on: November 25, 2011, 07:30:22 PM »
Instead of a report button we should have a *Like* or *Dislike* button..if we did I'd press the like button on this one.. ;)

Aroha
Jan :-*

 ;D If there was a *like* button for you, you'd have to keep me at arms length because I wouldn't stop pushing it! *like* *like* *like* *like*  ::)
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline anniebc

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  • AM member since 2003
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #55 on: November 25, 2011, 07:39:58 PM »
;D If there was a *like* button for you, you'd have to keep me at arms length because I wouldn't stop pushing it! *like* *like* *like* *like*  ::)
You really are a sweetheart.

Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline buginme2

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #56 on: November 26, 2011, 12:23:29 AM »
I hope you feel better.   You have mentioned your intention to change meds.  One thing to consider which may be a factor to your doctor is the combination you are on, Reyataz, norvir, Truvada is one of if not the best combinations for people who may not be 100% adherent with their meds.   It is the preferred choice for those who may have psychiatric issues that could  cause them to miss doses.   People who fail treatment due to non adhrenece who are on R/T/N often times will not develop resistance. 
It seems resonable to attempt to stabalize your psychiatric issues with other medication while continuing on your current path.  Of course its your decision.  I just wanted to mention that since it hasnt been brought up.
"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e0gcEC1TWE

Offline odyssey

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  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #57 on: November 26, 2011, 08:17:16 AM »
I hope you feel better.   You have mentioned your intention to change meds.  One thing to consider which may be a factor to your doctor is the combination you are on, Reyataz, norvir, Truvada is one of if not the best combinations for people who may not be 100% adherent with their meds.   It is the preferred choice for those who may have psychiatric issues that could  cause them to miss doses.   People who fail treatment due to non adhrenece who are on R/T/N often times will not develop resistance. 
It seems resonable to attempt to stabalize your psychiatric issues with other medication while continuing on your current path.  Of course its your decision.  I just wanted to mention that since it hasnt been brought up.


I'm sure if this is surprising or not, but I am amazingly adherent to my medication, both ARV and others. I set alarms left and right to take my ARVs and also take my other meds with excellent consistency, even when I'm not doing well. I'm not one of those people who stops taking their medicine when they are not feeling good, or contrastingly, when they are feeling better. I know I need my meds to help me and I take them as prescribed.

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline camille07

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  • Posts: 570
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #58 on: November 26, 2011, 10:43:54 AM »
Odyssey-

Hope you feel better soon!  And I really hope the nausea subsides a bit. 

Hugs,

Camms

Offline odyssey

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  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #59 on: November 26, 2011, 10:48:42 AM »
Thanks Camille! I'm a little less nauseous this morning than I was last night. I'm not going home today like was planned. I'm still very depressed and there are concerns of suicidality. So I'm staying here at least until tomorrow. Good thoughts are appreciated.

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Lou-ah-vull

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  • Posts: 924
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #60 on: November 26, 2011, 01:42:45 PM »
Hang in there....the fact that you are aware of and can describe what you are thinking and how you are feeling is a really good sign. 

I should also add, your willingness to post about this will most likely help someone else who is not as strong as you are.  As  you heal, you are supporting others to heal.  Thank you for continuing to post and I am continuing to hope for happier thoughts and better feelings.

Gary
Diagnosed Oct. 2005
10/05:  367 (26.2%), 24556 VL
01/06:  344 (24.6%), 86299 VL
04/06:  374 (22.0%), 87657 VL
05/06:  Began HAART 05/15/06, Combivir/Kaletra
07/06:  361 (27.8%), 1299 VL
10/06:  454 (32.4%), 55 VL
01/07:  499 (38.4%), UD
02/07:  Switched to Atripla 2/8/07
04/07:  566 (37.7%), UD
08/07:  761 (42.3%), UD
06/08:  659 (47.1%), UD
01/09:  613 (43.8%), UD
07/09:  616 (47.4%), UD
01/10:  530 (44.2%), UD
07/10:  636 (48.9%), UD
01/11:  627 (48.2%), UD
07/11:  840 (52.5%), UD
01/12:  920 (51.1%), UD
07/12:  857 (50.4%), 40
10/12:  UD
01/13:  710 (47.3%), UD
07/13:  886 (49.2%), UD
01/14:  985 (46.9%), UD

Offline Jody

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  • Posts: 1,781
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #61 on: November 26, 2011, 02:21:54 PM »
Gary makes a great point Ody in that you are here talking it out with great people who have so much love to give, as you do too!

I hope the nausea goes away, that sucks, but this too shall pass.

Take care of yourself my friend and think good thoughts and good times.

Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline drewm

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  • Posts: 999
  • Mmmmmm Hmmmmmm!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #62 on: November 26, 2011, 03:42:49 PM »
Haven't been on for awhile but read through this thread and sending (((HUGS))) and positive, healing energy your way! God bless!  :)
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline odyssey

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  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #63 on: November 26, 2011, 07:31:16 PM »
Thanks for the support. I really appreciate everyone reaching out to me.

Update: As if things couldn't get any worse I am now unable to pee, possibly due to medication side effects. And the nurse said they aren't going to do anything about it because ".... bladder won't burst, it will come out eventually". I guess she doesn't know how painful it will get before then!

Ugh  >:(

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Grasshopper

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  • Posts: 441
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #64 on: November 27, 2011, 04:11:05 AM »
Thanks for the support. I really appreciate everyone reaching out to me.

Update: As if things couldn't get any worse I am now unable to pee, possibly due to medication side effects. And the nurse said they aren't going to do anything about it because ".... bladder won't burst, it will come out eventually". I guess she doesn't know how painful it will get before then!

Ugh  >:(

odyssey

I hope you can pee soon on your own again. Perhaps your bladder won't burst, but it may damage your kidneys. Have you tried sitting on the toilet with the tab running ? The alternative is that the nurses will aid you..... (my personal experience: the nurses inserted a tube through my penis all the way into my bladder.) never understood why some people enjoy doing the "sounding" thing  ::) 

goodluck & speedy recovery
« Last Edit: November 27, 2011, 04:15:13 AM by Grasshopper »

Offline odyssey

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  • Posts: 763
  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #65 on: November 27, 2011, 08:37:38 AM »
Well, the bathroom situation has improved. Things are going again. However, my depression is really bad. I'm having strong urges to lie and tell the doctor I'm okay so I can just go home and end it. It takes remembering my friends here and my family to keep going. I hope they can help me, I am giving up hope of feeling better. I hope everyone here has a better morning than mine is.

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline leatherman

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #66 on: November 27, 2011, 09:30:51 AM »
strong urges to lie and tell the doctor I'm okay so I can just go home and end it.
lying to the docs to get out of the hospital is one thing (I once got out of a hospital AMA; but I was so sick with AIDS/PCP/Thrush I was expecting to die so I wanted to go home); but going home to "end it" is a whole other ball of wax.

I know it doesn't help you right now; but plenty of people here have been through a lot in the hospital too. We understand how much it sucks, how much it sucks being sick, and just how bad depression can get while in the hospital. But you have to hang in there! It's in the hospital with doctors, nurses, and medications that you will be able to get better. Unfortunately, in your case it's just taking some time.

All those other people who have been in the hospital didn't think they had the strength and fortitude to make it through; but they did. I've met you and know you too have the kind of personality that does have the strength inside to get through this challenge. Just take things 1 hour at a time if you have to to keep trudging through the days while the docs and meds do their thing and get you healthier.

There are a lot of people here, and I'm sure a lot of other people in your life, that are rooting for you, loving you, and hoping your outcome improves soon.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #67 on: November 27, 2011, 11:59:59 AM »
Odyssey, don't think of the current set-back as having lost the war - it was only one battle. Bide your time until you see the hiv doc again face-to-face when you can discuss treatment alternatives and remind him that he did the abacavir sensitivity test precisely for the reason of switching.

Look at it this way - if you had waited until you saw the specialist again, you'd still be waiting these few days. Did forcing the issue earlier really change things if you look at it that way? Not really. Your hiv specialist would have had to sign off on a treatment change either way, and you just had the bad luck of being in hospital over a holiday weekend when your doctor was unavailable.

Hang in there until you see the specialist - demand to see him at the earliest opportunity - and calmly talk to him and remind him that he cannot treat you without your permission. Being calm while talking to him is key. You're an intelligent young man and I know you can put your side of the argument across in a calm, reasoned and intelligent manner.

In the meantime, stay put! Don't leave until you've seen the specialist. We all love you and want NEED you to stick around. Your loved ones at home need you too.

Hugs,
Ann
xxx
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #68 on: November 27, 2011, 12:32:11 PM »
Thank you so much for your replies. It really helps me feel stronger in the face of my current challenges knowing there are people, even those I haven't met in person, who truly care about me and support me. I will remain strong.

I have asked for a second opinion from an ID specialist here at the teaching hospital I am at, because my ID doc is at my regular hospital about 1.5 hours away. My mom and I discussed it and thought it might be a good idea to get a fresh set of eyes on my situation. Maybe the docs here are more familiar with HIV and mental health issues? Who knows...

Anyway, I will keep posting, maybe because it gives me something to do, but also because I like hearing from my friends too. Here's hoping to see all of you in DC next year!

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #69 on: November 27, 2011, 12:45:07 PM »
Getting a second opinion is an excellent idea.

Just make sure you're talking to a specialist experienced with hiv, not a novice, seeing as how you're at a teaching hospital. A less experienced doctor who is still learning may be reluctant to second-guess what's gone before.

Hang in there and remember, we're all thinking about you and we all care, very much. Keep the updates coming!

((((((Odyssey))))))
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline leatherman

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #70 on: November 27, 2011, 01:14:31 PM »
Here's hoping to see all of you in DC next year!
now that's the attitude to have!

Think of all the stories you'll have to tell us about this situation. LOL
(ok, so it's not much of a silver lining; but at least, it's something. ;) )

speaking of stories to share, how's the food? some hospitals have the crappiest food and some have great stuff that is managed like hotel room service. hopefully you've been having decent food. Anything special for the holiday??
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Oh my friends, my friends forgive me
That I live and you are gone.
There's a grief that can't be spoken.
There's a pain goes on and on.
Empty chairs at empty tables
Where my friends will meet no more.

"Empty Chairs at Empty Tables" from Les Miserables

Offline odyssey

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  • One Crazy Mofo!
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #71 on: November 27, 2011, 02:19:32 PM »
There are several experienced doctors here. My doc actually trained under one of them I believe. I'll make sure I get one of the top docs and not just a resident.

The food is pretty good actually. I'd give it only two and a half stars (out of five) for variety, but an impressive four stars for taste. The desserts are particularly appealing, with double servings of four-layer chocolate cake, Boston cream pie, apple pie, and heavenly chocolate chip cookies being standard. Can you tell I'm a bit of a sugar junkie?

The chicken pot pie with biscuit a few nights ago was absolutely delicious too. I get the impression that many things are real as opposed to artificial (i.e. mashed potatoes). Overall keeping my appetite up when I would normally have lost it in the face of harsh depression.

For Thanksgiving we got a full spread of turkey and gravy, stuffing, whipped squash, mashed potatoes, roll, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. And that was just lunch. For dinner we had an entire ham supper (with requisite apple pie for dessert)! Oy vey! I could barely walk to bed that night!

Now that I've made you all jealous of my eatings... I will keep my head up and keep going.

Oh... and I think I might have figured out what's wrong!! My meds, including the ARVs, most all seem to interact to INCREASE serotonin. There are like 19 interactions when I checked them all saying increase in serotonin. I'm wondering if my serotonin is actually too high and that is why I'm feeling awful?! Any thoughts from my comrades?

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #72 on: November 27, 2011, 04:12:22 PM »

Oh... and I think I might have figured out what's wrong!! My meds, including the ARVs, most all seem to interact to INCREASE serotonin. There are like 19 interactions when I checked them all saying increase in serotonin. I'm wondering if my serotonin is actually too high and that is why I'm feeling awful?! Any thoughts from my comrades?


You might be on to something there. Serotonin reuptake inhibitors are involved in some classes of antidepressants. It would be worth looking into further, but stay on reputable sites when googling it. The Wiki article I linked you to could be a place to start. I'd look into it further for you myself, but I have to be somewhere in a half hour.

PS - when looking for drug interactions where ARVs are concerned, a good website to check out is hiv-druginteractions.org published by the gang at the University of Liverpool - including my own hiv pharmacologist doctor! (Saye Khoo - check him out in the About Us section)
« Last Edit: November 27, 2011, 04:18:21 PM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline denb45

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #73 on: November 27, 2011, 04:53:54 PM »
@ Oddy  I hope this cheers you up some , get well soon  :-*

"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #74 on: November 27, 2011, 05:35:48 PM »
Thank you so much for your replies. It really helps me feel stronger in the face of my current challenges knowing there are people, even those I haven't met in person, who truly care about me and support me. I will remain strong.

I think there is also a special kitty out there that cares for you too!  Of course you will remain strong.  Human spirit and body is amazing when faced with obstacles. 

Get to the bottom of all this, especially any drug interaction issues.  Best!!


Offline denb45

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #75 on: November 27, 2011, 06:25:56 PM »
I think there is also a special kitty out there that cares for you too!  Of course you will remain strong.  Human spirit and body is amazing when faced with obstacles. 

Get to the bottom of all this, especially any drug interaction issues.  Best!!



[/IMG]
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #76 on: November 28, 2011, 08:17:52 AM »
Hi Odyssey . I'm happy to hear you are getting stronger and determined to get well again . I enjoyed meeting you in Seattle and hope to meet you again .

I never had complications like you describe with my HIV meds but I did have a prolonged bout of moderate to severe depression when I began taking Atripla . At the time I didn't have any other good options so I stuck it out and managed to get better in time with the help from my doctor and the right antidepressant . Its great to hear you are in a safe place where you and your docs can work this out wether its a med change or additional meds to control the symptoms you are having . We are all a work in progress I suppose .     

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #77 on: November 28, 2011, 09:31:33 AM »
UPDATE:

This afternoon I will be going home. I'm determined to make every new moment a positive (haha) chance to live my life to the fullest. I will be getting out into nature and the community more and not isolating myself in my apartment and my head like I was previously. My recovery is in my own hands. I can't expect others to do for me what I am not willing to do for myself.

I'm scheduled to meet with my ID doc on Tuesday afternoon to discuss med options. I'll keep everyone updated on what happens then. I'll see my therapist on Wednesday as well.

I really want to thank everyone who replied to this thread with support and kindness as well as sent PMs. I really feel like your support helped me make it through this tough spot.

odyssey
(the soon to be free man!)
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #78 on: November 28, 2011, 09:37:45 AM »
Great news that you are getting out of the hospital today Odyssey!

And thank you for keeping us updated on what was going on.

I think that you have the right attitude - most defnitely.

I am looking forward to getting to meet you in Washington!

Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #79 on: November 28, 2011, 09:44:20 AM »
Thanks for the update ... Please promise us you will reach out to us or go to the emergency room if things get too much to handle for you . I have to remember sometimes that Rome wasn't built in a day .

Offline wolfter

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #80 on: November 28, 2011, 10:00:19 AM »
Awesome news and an even better attitude.  Hope you're finally on track with the meds.  Continue to work on it and take care.

Wolfie
Judging someone does not define them, it defines you. 

True peace is not merely the absence of war, it is the presence of justice.

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #81 on: November 28, 2011, 05:42:36 PM »
Just checking in and wanted to say that I hope things went well for you today -- sometimes it seems to take forever to actually get out even after it is scheduled.

(And there is no reason you and your mom couldn't make another pie -- no need to wait for a holiday)

Best
A
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #82 on: November 28, 2011, 06:07:26 PM »
Thanks for checking in. I'm actually really struggling tonight. The thoughts of wanting to not be alive have come back strongly and I'm fighting them off. I'm at the public library trying to be around people and out of the dark (which I hate!). So far so good. I had to get my labs drawn for my ID doc visit in a couple weeks so that certainly didn't boost my mood any. Ugh. Does anyone else every wonder "why me"? Its moments like these that it briefly flies into my mind.

Please keep talking to me, it is really giving me something to hold on to.

odyssey
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #83 on: November 28, 2011, 06:27:31 PM »
I'm sorry you are struggling.  Do you live close to your Mom?  Tonight might be a good time to have a late Thanksgiving.

5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #84 on: November 28, 2011, 06:29:26 PM »
She doesn't want to deal with me. The other night she yelled at me for even feeling suicidal. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm fighting but its not working.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline denb45

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #85 on: November 28, 2011, 06:31:12 PM »

Please keep talking to me, it is really giving me something to hold on to.

odyssey

Oddy are there any support groups that you can go to, a hot-line you can call? something to look into, do some research around your local metro area, you might be surprised what kinda support is really out there, you may even meet people who feel the same as you, REAL people not just on-line, start meeting people in real-time face to face the old fashion way, I did this, and it really helps. met some very interesting people too
right in my local metro area, some even wanted to be my friend  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline buginme2

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #86 on: November 28, 2011, 06:33:41 PM »
In seattle you can call 211 to be connected to the crisis line.  Your community may have something similar.  Its worth a try.  If not, if you feel like you can get passed it dont be afraid to call 911 if u need to please.
"All I need are some tasty waves, a cool buzz, and I'm fine."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6e0gcEC1TWE

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #87 on: November 28, 2011, 06:37:42 PM »
My local metro area consists of a town of about 20,000 people. Call 911 what? So they can drag me back to the hospital only to send me home 6 hours later? Yeah, its happened to me a bunch of times before. I left a message for my therapist asking if he could see me as an emergency tonight, but who knows. I'm just so tired of fighting against my own mind that is trying to bring  me down.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #88 on: November 28, 2011, 06:42:55 PM »
She doesn't want to deal with me. The other night she yelled at me for even feeling suicidal. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I'm fighting but its not working.

Well, parents do get frightened and sometimes angry when they are scared for their children -- that needn't mean she doesn't want to deal with you, but rather that she loves you.  She might be touched by the idea of a late Thanksgiving

But if that idea is unattractive, is there anything going on tonight, do you have a local LGBT center or similar youth center?  Being around people sounds like a good idea.
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #89 on: November 28, 2011, 06:48:15 PM »
I wish. I think things have reached a point beyond my ability to cope. I'm going to bring myself back to the hospital. I don't care if they laugh at me I'm not going to be responsible for my mom having a dead son.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline Jeff G

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #90 on: November 28, 2011, 06:55:54 PM »
I wish. I think things have reached a point beyond my ability to cope. I'm going to bring myself back to the hospital. I don't care if they laugh at me I'm not going to be responsible for my mom having a dead son.

I think going back to the hospital is the right and courageous thing to do Odyssey . Not only do you need to do this for yourself , there are many people who are counting on you to be around for a long time to come .

Please go to the hospital and let us know how you are ASAP . 

Offline Assurbanipal

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #91 on: November 28, 2011, 06:56:22 PM »
We all support you in taking care of yourself.  If you need another day in the hospital, that is a better choice.

Best
A
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline denb45

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #92 on: November 28, 2011, 09:03:50 PM »
Hang-in-there Oddy, I've been where you are before, I suffer from Mental illness/ Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD),I sent you a PM ,if you wanna chat I'm here for you, but take your time, and only when your ready to, were all here for you Oddy  :-*
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline mikeyb39

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #93 on: November 28, 2011, 10:14:23 PM »
hope you feel better soon oddy,  hang in there.  Don't feel bad about needing help, I think we all go thru that from time to time. 
11/02/2010  cd4-251, vl-591000
12/09/2010  started Atripla
02/18/2011  cd4-425, vl-800
06/10/2011  cd4-447, vl-70
10/10/2011  cd4-666, vl-80
01/05/2012  swiched med (prezista,norvir ,isentress, )
02/10/2012  cd4-733, vl-UD  Viread removed
06/10/2012  cd4-614, vl-UD
12/14/2012  cd4-764, vl-UD
09/01/2013  cd4-785, vl-UD
03/06/2014. cd4- 1078, VL-UD

Offline Basquo

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #94 on: November 28, 2011, 10:41:54 PM »
You're a wise man for deciding you need to go back to hospital. So many people can't make that realisation. We're here for you. You took care of some of us when we were not making the best decisions (ok well to tell the truth I was plastered and you took good care in getting us home.) So continue to take care of yourself however you need to do it!
Abrazos muchos,
Creighton

Offline odyssey

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #95 on: November 28, 2011, 11:08:39 PM »
I'm being admitted to my local hospital where my ID doc practices. I most likely won't have Internet access while I'm here, stricter rule. Wish me the best.
01/09/09- diagnosed HIV+
01/16/09   CD4-425    22%     VL- 32415
11/09- started Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
03/10- stopped Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
10/18/11   CD4- 328   20%     VL- 84,000
10/25/11   CD4- 386   22%
10/28/11- start Truvada/Reyetaz/Norvir
3/8/12      CD4- 503   31%     VL 57

Offline drewm

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #96 on: November 28, 2011, 11:09:05 PM »
Good decision to get the help you need! Hang in there!
MAY 2010
VL>500,000 CD4>8

JUNE 2010 STARTED ATRIPLA

DEC 2010
VL>30 CD4>323

Atripla. Valtrex, Trilipix, Fluoxotine

Offline anniebc

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #97 on: November 29, 2011, 01:17:51 AM »
You took care of some of us when we were not making the best decisions (ok well to tell the truth I was plastered and you took good care in getting us home.)

Count me in on that, you got me back safe to the hotel that night, hailing a cab while trying to hold me up was no easy task, but you did it... ;D

In case I ever make it to another AMG I'm going to need you there...just in case.. ;).

Thinking of you and looking forward to seeing you back on line with us.

Big hugs
Aroha
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Theyer

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #98 on: November 29, 2011, 03:46:19 PM »
Sending you the best O , hang in there , hope you can get internet connection and the peace that will help, take care.
m
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline denb45

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Re: I'm in the hospital.... again.
« Reply #99 on: November 30, 2011, 11:03:49 AM »
Oddy, hope things are ok with you, please give us an update  ;)
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

 


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