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Author Topic: Learning to Love my Sunken Gardens  (Read 3791 times)

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Offline sylvester212

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
  • Sylvester Nov. 2011
Learning to Love my Sunken Gardens
« on: November 13, 2011, 06:10:00 PM »
I have a beard - ever since I could have one. I have an account on poxpersonals, I mean pozpersonals, and since I ruined this one, it is called gayforlife2020. It was linked to a youtube channel, but I killled all the videos. Anyway, if someone wants to see how bad 48 can look: be my guest.

I come from a good-looking family. My mother, at 74, still does not have fully grey hair, and she has never dyed it. My pop does, and has dyed it long ago (but he still has hair, so I think I may be lucky in one way). My father is a health-food nut: so he eats like a bird and wants to live to be 150. He weighs about that much, and he's almost as tall as me (6'1"). So, naturally, he is thin-skinned, sunken-cheeked and proud of it.

So my face, having gone from acne-coated and bushy has moved to scarred and bushy, with valleys and crags/crannies. Life! It happened early, yes. But it would have happened anyway. Maybe we age according to how many "partners" we've had. Ut-oh.

If I had the money (and I could ask a friend, who would give it to me) would I fill my face up? Hmm. I know it is preventing me from getting hookups. I was once too popular, ahem. And I was not that attractive.

So it does have something to do with surface texture. I look old, or aging, and HIV+ men generally cannot stand to see their futures in one another: this has been my experience. Those who are already in love are exempt from that observation.

Sunken cheeks, temples and flamingo legs, spindly arms are signs of a somewhat consumptive artist. Since I am a classical musician, I think I will just do with that, and skip needles in my face. The underlying problem is not corrected: and in 20 years (if I live 1/2 of that, I will be surprised) all those injections. We all know which celebrities have gone too far. Bloated and incapable of a genuine smile is not my objective.

I've dyed my hair, less my beard. I begin to see the folly in that, too. It can make me feel better, which is important: until I catch myself in a certain light. Then, I just feel false.  peace from sylvester, NYC

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: Learning to Love my Sunken Gardens
« Reply #1 on: November 13, 2011, 07:26:09 PM »
Sylvester,
No one should ever be ashamed of their battle scars. You've been fighting a vicious war with HIV for how many years? Remember you are a warrior and a survivor and every line, every saggy bit of skin and each grey hair is testament to that fact...They are your medals and you should wear them with pride.

Anyway, if someone wants to see how bad 48 can look: be my guest.
I've seen the pic and WOOF mate, I'd bed you.....and I wouldn't make you wear a paper bag! ;D

Welcome back to the board

GROWLER
« Last Edit: November 14, 2011, 06:11:25 AM by Growler »
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

Offline leatherman

  • Member
  • Posts: 6,305
  • Google and HIV meds are Your Friends
Re: Learning to Love my Sunken Gardens
« Reply #2 on: November 13, 2011, 10:06:27 PM »
I just sent you a PM telling you how to fix your profile pix so it'll show

and to say that if pix is anywhere near recent, then you look a lot like the guy I've been dating so don't disparge your looks too much. ;)

oh and some of us dye out hair too, so there's nothing wrong with that either.  ;)
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Growler

  • Member
  • Posts: 567
Re: Learning to Love my Sunken Gardens
« Reply #3 on: November 13, 2011, 11:02:22 PM »
Oops! Part of my original reply went missing......so I've rewritten history. Sorry but the power went to my head!


GROWLER
« Last Edit: November 14, 2011, 06:14:23 AM by Growler »
“If loving someone is putting them in a straitjacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”

 


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