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Author Topic: Scared to death, pls help.  (Read 1094 times)

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Offline spiderman

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  • Posts: 5
Scared to death, pls help.
« on: November 10, 2011, 07:55:19 AM »
Hi there, i am new to this.

I had sex 5 times with a lady i met online, but we used condoms .she went oral on me and i did too. I also hav a partner who i've been with for 2 years. I know i did a Big mistake and it was wrong.Me and my partner always use condoms, but before the main sex, she sometimes rub her private with my pennis and i guess this action might mean semen exchange..
 
 about a month ago b4 we had sex, she was doing the same thing and i pnetrated her 3 times, i can remember it was 3 thrust b4 i got a condom. 2 weks after that, she had slight fever, flu and cough, her daughter had the cough too, I was so worried that i alled the lady i met online to ask her if she had hiv, she said no . But i heard rumours she had it from the sam chat room i met her from. About 2 weks ago, while having my bath, i noticed a tiny (size of a rice grain) lump on my neck, i have been monitoring my partner closely for any other symptoms..
 Apart from her flu and cough , no other symptoms, i have no flu or cough asides the lump on my neck..
 Pls can someone tell me if we are at risk?....

thanks

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #1 on: November 10, 2011, 08:28:40 AM »
Spider,

You did not have a risk where the chat-line woman is concerned.

Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection.

Getting a blowjob is not a risk for hiv infection. Going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

As for the activities with your regular partner, the rubbing you describe is called frottage and frottage is not a risk for hiv infection.

The only risk you have had was the brief unprotected intercourse. This was a risk for both of you unless you have both previously tested negative for hiv and other STIs TOGETHER.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST AS A RESULT OF YOUR ACTIVITIES WITH THE CHAT-ROOM WOMAN, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline spiderman

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #2 on: November 10, 2011, 08:36:08 AM »
Ann,

 Thank you very much for this response, i wish u knew how much weight u lifted off my chest. u are an amazing person.

 so, what about the lump on my neck?...Is that something to worry about?..its slighty under the skin and its hard and painless..Pls let me know what u think about it,
 
 Once again, Thank u very much, u r a star.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #3 on: November 10, 2011, 09:07:38 AM »
Spider,

Unless your regular partner already had hiv before your encounter with Chat Room Woman, then you have not been at risk for hiv.

We cannot diagnose lumps on any part of your body. If you're worried about it, then you should see a doctor. All we can tell you is that it is highly unlikely to have a single thing to do with hiv.

You need to understand that STIs often have no obvious symptoms. That includes hiv. Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms will never tell you a single thing about your hiv status or the status of your sexual health in general. ONLY testing will.

This is why any sexually active adult should get checked out at least once a year, regardless of condom use. Some of the STIs (but NOT hiv) can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact where condoms do not cover. Be smart, test regularly.

If you and your regular partner are monogamous (aside from your recent whoopsie) then you should consider getting tested for everything together. Then it wouldn't matter if you occasionally didn't use condoms. Until you do test together and get negative results across the board, then you should be using condoms every time, no exceptions.

And obviously you should be using condoms with any chat-room people you may hook up with in future.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann


edited for clarity
« Last Edit: November 10, 2011, 09:10:39 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline spiderman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Pls help, i am driving my self mad
« Reply #4 on: January 04, 2012, 07:59:48 AM »
Hello,
 About 5 months ago, i had sexual encounter with a woman i met online, we used condoms always but we did oral without condoms.
 
  I began to be scared when i heard a rumour that she was hiv possitive, i asked her and she said she wasnt.
 
  When i heard she was HIV possitive, i started looking out for symptoms on myself. Nothing came up. Its now 5 months and now i have a sore throat, light fever and i have bumps on my neck and armpit.
   
  Now the worrying part, the lumps under my chin close to my neck dont feel like swollen lymph nodes( i am guessing), there are about 5 or 6 of them, very tiny like a rice grain, they come up like a rash and then become hard right under my skin. They move with the skin( i heard swollen lymph nodes dont move with the skin).

 Theres one under my armpit too, just like the ones under my chin. No other symptoms..
 
 The question is, can HIV symptoms show up after 5 months?.
Pls help me out.
Thanks

Offline Andy Velez

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  • Posts: 23,837
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #5 on: January 04, 2012, 08:47:40 AM »
Spider,

Unless your regular partner already had hiv before your encounter with Chat Room Woman, then you have not been at risk for hiv.

We cannot diagnose lumps on any part of your body. If you're worried about it, then you should see a doctor. All we can tell you is that it is highly unlikely to have a single thing to do with hiv.

You need to understand that STIs often have no obvious symptoms. That includes hiv. Symptoms or even the lack of symptoms will never tell you a single thing about your hiv status or the status of your sexual health in general. ONLY testing will.

This is why any sexually active adult should get checked out at least once a year, regardless of condom use. Some of the STIs (but NOT hiv) can be transmitted through skin-to-skin contact where condoms do not cover. Be smart, test regularly.

If you and your regular partner are monogamous (aside from your recent whoopsie) then you should consider getting tested for everything together. Then it wouldn't matter if you occasionally didn't use condoms. Until you do test together and get negative results across the board, then you should be using condoms every time, no exceptions.

And obviously you should be using condoms with any chat-room people you may hook up with in future.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann


edited for clarity

You've started a new thread which you are not supposed to do. Our rule is for members to write only in the same thread. I've merged your entries here. Please follow our rule in the future.

And you've written about your concern as if you had never had any previous response to the same concern. I've quoted Ann's response to you which still stands.

Cut out the drama. There's no science-based reason to believe that you have a valid basis for concern about HIV.
Andy Velez

Offline spiderman

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  • Posts: 5
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #6 on: January 04, 2012, 11:08:19 AM »
Thank u

Offline spiderman

  • Member
  • Posts: 5
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #7 on: January 04, 2012, 11:09:30 AM »
Sorry Andy , i never knew i was not allowed to start a new thread. Thanks for ur advice.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 23,837
Re: Scared to death, pls help.
« Reply #8 on: January 04, 2012, 12:21:46 PM »
OK. You're welcome.

Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

 


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