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Author Topic: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...  (Read 5527 times)

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Offline Fan2

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Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« on: August 19, 2011, 07:17:20 AM »
Hi everyone, I'm sorry if my English is not good just because I'm a Vietnamese, I'm a 21 years old male student, I just have a few questions, I hope I don't mind you...
Six weeks ago, I had sex with a call-girl and I think I did 3 stupid things.
First, I touched her baby by my left hand and about 3-5 minutes later, I rubbed my eyes by this terrible hand...
Secondly, after we had done sex (absolutely with condom), I used my right hand to do hand-job myself, what I'm worrying is there was some fluid (or blood) from her baby on my condom because when I came home I found out I got 3 little wounds on my right one... These wounds had appeared for about 8 hours before I had sex.

45h later, because of my stress, I used PEP (Lamzidivir); I had used it for 12 days and then I met someone who told me that I don't need to use it because what I did is NO RISK! So I stopped using it.
But recently, I've felt so bad, I always feel like I'm sick in afternoon. I usually google to find what symtoms of HIV is in internet and I realize I got it all! Is this real or am I imagining? I don't know!

4 and 6 weeks later, I had a blood-test and my results were Negative.

So they're "low risk" or "no risk"? and plz tell me why, ohhh, I was so drunk to control myself, I was stressed everyday...

Offline Ann

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #1 on: August 19, 2011, 11:03:55 AM »
Fan,

You didn't do anything wrong - in fact you did what you needed to do to protect yourself against hiv infection. You used a condom for intercourse. Nothing else you did was a risk.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #2 on: August 19, 2011, 11:04:41 AM »
It's no surprise here that you tested negative because absolutely nothing you are reporting put you at risk for HIV transmission.

Listen carefully please. The only confirmed risks for the sexual transmission of HIV are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. That's it. As long as you consistently use condoms for those activities you will be well protected.

Whatever is causing your symptoms have nothing to do with HIV. If they continue you should discuss them with your doctor.

So you can stop worrying and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #3 on: August 19, 2011, 01:28:55 PM »
Thank you so much for your advice, I though I would never come back to my normal life.
But what if when I used my right hand to do hand-job for myself (with condom), then friction makes my wounds bleed? Am I infected?

I'm sorry if what I wrote is not formal? But my English is quite bad...

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #4 on: August 19, 2011, 02:10:07 PM »
Under NO circumstances is fingering a risk for HIV infection.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #5 on: August 19, 2011, 11:04:23 PM »
thanks a lot jkinatl2,
but to satisfy myself, I want to have a blood-test.
So when would I have this one after I've used PEP just for 12 days? (6 weeks or 3 months?)
And what kind of blood-test should I have? because in Vietnam I don't know about it clearly... fast test? Elisa or PCR?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #6 on: August 19, 2011, 11:12:15 PM »
You didn't have a risk, you didn't need testing and you sure the hell didn't need nPEP.

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #7 on: August 20, 2011, 02:06:16 AM »
Dear RapidRod,

In Vietnam, some of pharmacists are greed, they just want to earn money and they sold PEP to me without any recommend...
And I, with a heavily stress and careless knowledge, bought it immediately.

I lived in dark days, I feel like just a negative result can make me feel better although you said so...

Sorry for my bothering...

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #8 on: August 20, 2011, 12:24:42 PM »
If you want to get tested so that you can receive the inevitable negative result for your peace of mind, that is up to you.

But you didn't have a risk.

There's really nothing more we can say about your incident except get on with your life. HIV is not a problem for you at this time except in your head.
Andy Velez

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #9 on: August 20, 2011, 12:48:51 PM »
I can't say thank more to you, Andy, you're far too kind, it seems like you, Ann and JK have just pull me back from hell...
Just one last question, I used my last PEP in 25 July, so when will be the earliest time for me to have a blood-test (just to see my inevitable negative)?

Offline Ann

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #10 on: August 20, 2011, 01:07:27 PM »
Fan,

PEP will not interfere with your test result and it does not matter when you test. You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #11 on: August 21, 2011, 05:46:18 AM »
so six weeks from my stupid things is suitable for my inevitable negative, isn't it?   :)

Offline Ann

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #12 on: August 21, 2011, 09:12:01 AM »
Fan,

You can test whenever you want over this NO RISK situation.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #13 on: August 22, 2011, 03:04:28 PM »
sorry Ann,
I know my excessive anxiety will adversely affect everyone in the forum.
But I was afraid my English is not enough to convey what I mean.
For example, "her baby", I mean her vagina and I was afraid that it is not polite to use this word.

Does it change anything?

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #14 on: August 22, 2011, 03:24:29 PM »
Nope. Fingering is not a risk for HIV.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #15 on: August 22, 2011, 03:32:12 PM »
There is nothing wrong with using the word vagina. It's a perfectly legitimate term. HIV is a very fragile virus and it is not transmitted by fingering.

Your concern is very clear and as JK has told you, it is absolutely not a risk. You are worrying needlessly. And you need to understand that if you continue to return again over this non-risk situation you are going to find yourself very quickly getting a Time Out from site. You do not have an HIV problem.

Cut out the drama and get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #16 on: August 25, 2011, 02:38:04 AM »
it's so grateful for me to have been answered, Ann & Andy

I'm getting out further & further of my anxiety and seems like all my symptoms I've ever had in the past is just from my stress.

I shared my story with my friend last night and with a serious face, he told me if I checked my condom after I'd just had sex. He worried about my condom maybe broke when I was making love.
Personally, when I made love, I wasn't feeling something strange and when I pulled out, with my eyes in the dim room, I didn't see something wrong with my condom because as some people in here say, broken condom looks like a hula skirt (is this real?)

Now I'm worrying about a tiny hole (that I can't see) or something like that. My friend told me maybe the sex worker with HIV+ would hate life and she want everyone would be the same. So she'd use a needle to create a tiny hole in the condom before we had sex.


Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #17 on: August 25, 2011, 08:33:06 AM »
That's right. When a condom breaks/fails, it is very apparent to the naked eye because it looks like a hoop on the penis with latex fringe.

A failed condom is not about teeny weeny holes. That's a myth and it just doesn't happen that way.

It's time for  you to move on with your life. If you return again about this incident you are going to get that Time Out you have been warned about.
Andy Velez

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #18 on: November 10, 2011, 09:01:47 AM »
Hi Andy,

I come back here just to ask you a question to improve my knowledge about HIV.
If I had a real risk (such as no protected sex) and I used PEP, so what time would I try a HIV test?
Someone told me that 12 week is right, but someones think 6 months.

Is this the story about opinion?

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #19 on: November 10, 2011, 09:31:18 AM »
Fan,

When PEP is used following an actual risk (instead of an imagined one like yours), the recommendation is to test at three months following the last dose of PEP. That means four months following the risky activity, as PEP normally is taken for 28 days (four weeks).

The only people who MIGHT take a little longer than three months to seroconvert and test positive are those who are on chemotherapy for cancer, are on anti-rejection drugs following organ transplant, or those who have been injecting street drugs, every day, for years.

The six month window period for testing hasn't been in use for years now, despite the fact that some websites and doctors say otherwise. We only use up-to-date information on this website.

You did not have a risk for hiv infection and you do not need to test following fingering or mutual masturbation. You did NOT have a risk.

Your time out warning still stands.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Fan2

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #20 on: November 16, 2011, 08:51:07 AM »
dear Ann,

I can't explain my satisfy to your sharing.
Today I've just come to hospital to check my throat-problem and I took a test about Syphilis, HIV and Chlamydia.
My HIV and Syphilis results is NEGATIVE but what a shamed for me when Chlamydia result is POSITIVE.
My doctor told me that Chlamydia can only infect through Unprotected-Sex. But I swear that I used condom in the first time sex of my life and I haven't got a second sex until now.
I'm worrying about if I should wait for 6th month to take a HIV test again?

Can you give me some advice...?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #21 on: November 16, 2011, 08:55:38 AM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Handjob or Fingering? Risk Or Not? plz help me...
« Reply #22 on: November 16, 2011, 10:08:26 AM »
Fan,

Chlamydia is MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv. It can be transmitted through getting a blowjob, UNLIKE hiv. It can also sometimes be transmitted by getting vaginal fluids on the head of your penis, again, UNLIKE hiv. You can even get chlamydia in your eye through getting vaginal fluid in your eye, UNLIKE hiv. Hiv is not transmitted in any of these ways, but chlamydia can be.

You did NOT have a risk for hiv infection. Chlamydia is another matter.

We concentrate on hiv here. You have not had a risk for hiv infection and you're just going to have to accept this. Test all you like, but you're going to continue to get hiv negative results. You do not need further testing over the incident you're worried about. You do not have hiv.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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