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Author Topic: My partner is hiv+  (Read 4544 times)

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Offline profac124

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My partner is hiv+
« on: October 17, 2011, 07:10:43 AM »
Hi
I am writing to enquire about contracting HIV from my partner of almost 2 1/2 years, seeing that I only recently found out that he was hiv +.  He did inform me before ever having sex that he has HPV and Herpes so knowing that I always did use a condom for penetrative sex  with him as I am a top. 
After finding out that he was hiv+ for over 6 years and understanding after several weeks of contemplating if I should continue being with him I have decided to return to the relationship that we shared over the last 2.5 years, as I do really love him.

However, my concerns are as follows:
1) I have always  used condoms for penetrating him during sex
2) Seeing that he has 2 other STD's what are my chances of HIV leaking through either 1 of the 2 above.
Can I get HIV from herpes of HPV if i should ever get infected from those STD's?
3) Recently he has requested for me to bottom I have decided on a couple occassions so far to try it.
I am really worried about that position as its the most risky position for contracting HIV. 
Can you provide any feedback as to whether I can still please him in this sexual way and still be safe from HIV.
4) He has been on meds since he met me 2.5 years ago and has been undetectable ever since to date.
5) I do like rimming him and receiving oral from him as well as lots of deep kissing as these really truly negligible risks??
6) I recently tested for HIV after learning of his situation and it was negative, but the nurses said that i have to wait for another 3 months to confirm the reliability and accuracy of the information how is that found to be accurate?

Any information or feedback would be greatly appreciated

Thank you for your help.

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #1 on: October 17, 2011, 08:39:12 AM »
Profac,

1) I have always  used condoms for penetrating him during sex

Good. That's what you're supposed to do. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

2) Seeing that he has 2 other STD's what are my chances of HIV leaking through either 1 of the 2 above. Can I get HIV from herpes of HPV if i should ever get infected from those STD's?

I'm not clear what you're asking here. Hiv leaking through one or two of the above? The above what? Condoms? If you're using two condoms at a time, you need to stop doing that as it increases the chance that one or both will break. All you need is one condom at a time.

You cannot get hiv from herpes or hpv - you get hiv from hiv. If you have a herpes outbreak and have unprotected intercourse, that will increase your risk. Herpes or hpv, provided you are using a condom, neither will increase your risk. The important thing here is CONDOM USE.

3) Recently he has requested for me to bottom I have decided on a couple occassions so far to try it.
I am really worried about that position as its the most risky position for contracting HIV. Can you provide any feedback as to whether I can still please him in this sexual way and still be safe from HIV.


Again, condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection and that is just as true for the bottom as for the top. His undetectable viral load is also a means of protection.

4) He has been on meds since he met me 2.5 years ago and has been undetectable ever since to date.

This vastly decreases the chance of him transmitting the virus. There has been a study referred to as the "Swiss Statement" that looked at hiv transmission between heterosexual couples - they were mainly looking at being able to conceive children naturally in poz/neg couples. There were no instances of transmission when there were no other active STIs present (we're talking more things like syphilis or gonorrhea than herpes or hpv) and the viral load in the poz partner was UD for at least six months.

We're hesitant to extrapolate this to gay couples, simply because it looked at vaginal intercourse, rather than anal. However I believe there is a study underway that looks at anal. It is widely expected to yield similar results. And just an FYI - many hetero, serodiscordant couples are having children these days the "old fashion way" without the neg partner becoming infected, provided they meet the criteria laid out above.

5) I do like rimming him and receiving oral from him as well as lots of deep kissing as these really truly negligible risks??

None of those activities are risks for hiv infection. They're not negligible risks, they're NO RISK for hiv. Not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect.

6) I recently tested for HIV after learning of his situation and it was negative, but the nurses said that i have to wait for another 3 months to confirm the reliability and accuracy of the information how is that found to be accurate?

Your test was accurate provided it was three months or more since your last incident of UNPROTECTED intercourse - with ANYONE.

When I was in a serodiscordant relationship, my (neg) partner tested regularly at first, but with each passing negative result, we became more and more assured that we were not doing anything to put him in danger of becoming infected. The ONLY precaution we used was to make sure he was wearing a condom for anal or vaginal intercourse. In the end, by the time we split after eight years of being together, he was only testing once a year, if that. I think it had been over two years since his last test. He went for a test after we split, and he remained hiv negative.

A few further comments....

If you partner is not already on acyclovir prophylaxis for his herpes, he may want to consider going on it as it vastly decreases the chance of him passing it on to you. Remember, herpes, UNLIKE hiv, only takes skin-to-skin contact to be transmitted. You can read more about herpes and its treatments here.

You should have a full panel of STI testing. If you are a sexually active adult and this man is not your first sexual partner, you could very well have hpv already yourself. It is VERY common in the population - as is herpes, for that matter. If you've always been consistent with condom use, you stand an excellent chance of passing the tests with flying colours, but the only way to accurately know the state of your sexual health is to have the tests done. Herpes is an exception here - it's just too easily transmitted.

Good luck, let us know how it goes. If you remain in this relationship, you will be qualified to post in the Some I Care About forum.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #2 on: October 17, 2011, 09:13:39 AM »
Thank so much Ann For the information you provided.
Its just so new to me all this HIV stuff and its like in the last 3 weeks after finding out has almost been like a nightmare to me to be honest.
And i do not want to be ignorant to anyone with HIV its just like the most feared disease ever that I know of from my family and friends
I have lost a couple of friends as well for continuing with the relationship last 2 weeks after serious consideration and contemplation of continuing regardless of the situation at hand, AND I dont blame them to be honest because they really love me and do not want to see me become infected eventually from this horrible disease.

But I believe its my choice and decision and I do believe now that after your response I am doing all that is necessary to protect myself from transmission.

There is just one more thing I would like to inform of because we live in separate cities, I have agreed to have an open sexual relationship.  Now this was not apparent in the last 2  years as I was not in agreeance.
However after serious consideration and thought being apart for 5 days a week its only normal that I think he would feel for sexual relations so I have agreed to let him be open.

How does this new dynamic in our relationship from a physical health standpoint affect me with HIV and its transmission??
I do know that he has sex with other HIV + guys at times and he hates wearing condoms for topping and at times may do it without protection, can you advise me here of any risks associated with transmission  from him??
Any advice regarding this would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you again

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #3 on: October 17, 2011, 09:38:05 AM »
Profac,

Provided you are using condoms with him, what he does outside your relationship will have no bearing on your hiv transmission risk. You - or he - can have as much sex as you want with as many people as you want, as long as YOU are using condoms and making sure he is using them as well when you bottom.

You need to be aware that if he ends up getting oral gonorrhea, chlamydia or syphilis from his encounters outside your relationship, you can become infected with it as well if he blows you. The rates of oral syphilis and gonorrhea have been rising in the gay population for a few years now and the symptoms often go unnoticed.

You need to also realise that if he is BBing with other poz men, he is at risk for all the other STIs, all of which are MUCH more easily transmitted than hiv and therefore, that is putting you at higher risk of other STIs as well, particularly something like syphilis that only requires skin-to-skin contact in order to be transmitted.

Although we don't normally do relationship advice in this particular forum, I would have to question just how much he cares about you. For one, he neglected to tell you about his hiv status for over two years. For another, he wants an open relationship despite your reluctance and I'm willing to bet he has been doing it all along anyway. After all, he didn't tell you about his hiv, did he. Doesn't sound like the most honest person out there. Is this really what you want in a relationship? Personally, I think you deserve better.

Whatever you decide, you need to be using condoms with ANYONE, not just him, until you're in a securely MONOGAMOUS relationship where you have tested negative for ALL the STIs - not just hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #4 on: October 17, 2011, 03:44:05 PM »
I would like to ask the HIV experts here does anyone think that I am playing Russian Roulette with my life for
being with someone who is HIV+?
I know you say that once the use of condoms for penetrative sex is 100% consistently and correctly done I should not become infected.
But its just this thought of going for the routine tests that scares me with possibly knowing that one time i just may be positive.

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2011, 10:37:16 AM »
Profac,

You'd only be playing roulette if you weren't using condoms. There are hundreds of thousands of serodiscordant couples who remain serodiscordant through the simple use of condoms.

I'm quite sure that while the first few tests might be daunting, once you had a few negative results under your belt, they would just become routine. They certainly did for my partner.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2011, 01:16:42 PM »
I just thought of an HIV issue that possibly someone can share some light on
It is regarding viral load in an HIV infected individual.
Let's say for example, someone's viral load is extremely high which based on my understanding
(Please correct me if I am wrong) this makes that individual highly infectious.
Can this type of situation create a more likely chance of being infected lets say for the receptive partner who is hiv negative during sexual intercourse (penetrative), as a result of that high viral load, even with condoms being used???

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2011, 01:46:30 PM »
Condoms, when properly used, negate the possibility of HIV infection, viral load notwithstanding.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #8 on: October 19, 2011, 08:11:56 AM »
Hi Ann
Thank you again for all your information about HIV and my relationship
I have another question if you dont mind educating me on.
This is regarding oral sex if I am performing it on my hiv + partner!
I do notice that he leaks lots of precum what sort of risk does this pose to me performing on him
and if i should have a cold sore or soemthing which i get regularly from a child.
Also too, there is the odd occassion that I would bite my lip or inner gum (lower) while chewing how is this with respect to oral sex??
Any information regarding this matter would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you again.

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2011, 07:07:22 AM »
Pro,

You do know, don't you, that "cold sore" is another way of saying oral herpes? You should absolutely NOT be giving any blowjobs to anyone when you have a "cold sore". Keep your herpes to yourself - even if that person already has herpes. It can be spread to new places. If you're getting a lot of outbreaks, talk to your doctor about acyclovir. I gave you a link to information on this in my first response.

Provided you have average to good oral health, giving blowjobs isn't a problem. If you have meth mouth, then think of other ways to pleasure your partner. No meth mouth? Blow away. Besides, he's undetectable on meds, so don't worry about blowjobs where he's concerned. There's no way it's gonna happen.

And just an FYI, not only is saliva not infectious, but it also contains over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv and render it unable to infect. This is why unless your mouth is a mess (as in meth mouth), blowjobs aren't risky.

Use condoms for anal intercourse, correctly and consistently, top or bottom, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!! Make sure you read through the condom and lube link in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence. The first link is particularly informative and is available in several languages. Get reading!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2011, 07:10:36 AM »
Pro,

By the way, regarding your earlier question about viral load... yes, a high viral load makes a person more infectious - but this is only a concern when you do NOT use condoms. Condoms, condoms, CONDOMS! Use them!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #11 on: October 24, 2011, 09:07:17 AM »
Hi Ann
I just need to ask a question regarding my personal feelings towards my partner diagnosis.
Everytime we have sex and i know the fact of condoms usage for penetrative sex
I am so paranoid about always checking the condom for breakage or if i hear a squeaky sound while having intercourse I am so fearful that the condom has malfunctioned.
And it annoys him a little so to speak becuase he is like are you ever going to be unihibited and free a bit while we are being intimiate.
I am always checking my body temperature as well to see if i am expericing a fever or diahorrea or some symptom related to HIV initial seroconversion.

I always use a condom for when we are penetrating each other but I am still so very fearful.
Can you help me a bit to understand if this is normal?
I love this person so much and I dont want to lose him.

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #12 on: October 24, 2011, 11:18:58 AM »
Profac,

As you only found out about your partner's status recently, I'd say that yes, it's normal to be a bit anxious at first. Hopefully as time goes by and you get a few negative results under your belt, you will lighten up.

Look at it this way - you've already been with him for over two years and you're still hiv negative. That should tell you something - like the fact that condoms absolutely DO prevent hiv infection. His undetectable viral load is also very much in your favour, even if you experience a condom break.

You need to stop checking your temperature and micro-examining your body all the time. Are you aware that many, many people never experience a single symptom of seroconversion? You're wasting your time and increasing your anxiety. That alone can make you sick, so knock it off.

Keep using the condoms and you'll remain hiv negative. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
« Last Edit: October 24, 2011, 11:20:36 AM by Ann »
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #13 on: October 24, 2011, 11:49:37 AM »
Hi Ann
Sorry about the immaturity on my side with respect to my situation.
I did in fact receive a negative results a few weeks ago after finding out but remember as well
the type of sex between us was mostly me doing the penetrating
However the table have turned and I am now on the receiving end and I know that the risk is much more greater for me now, hence why I am so paranoid.
Probably I should not have agreed to switch a bit, and if I do seroconvert I have only myself to blame.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #14 on: October 24, 2011, 01:06:12 PM »
If you and your partner use condoms consistently and correctly then you absolutely will not seroconvert.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #15 on: October 24, 2011, 01:52:49 PM »
I really appreciate everyone's support and good advice, but my question would be if it was really that simple to prevent HIV why is this such a wide spread epidemic that is in the world today??
Is it really because people are not using condoms for penetrative sex NOT considering drug users, etc strictly from a sexual standpoint???
Is this the real reason for some many HIV cases today from having unprotected penetrative sex??

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #16 on: October 24, 2011, 01:59:41 PM »
Profac,

YES. People end up with hiv because they don't use condoms. That's how I got it and that's how the vast majority of people who post in the other parts of this website got it too.

One more time, Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and CONSISTENTLY, and you will avoid hiv infection. IT REALLY IS THAT SIMPLE!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #17 on: October 24, 2011, 02:11:43 PM »
Thanks so much Ann
You're the best!
Have a good day!

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #18 on: October 25, 2011, 07:13:21 AM »
Profac,

Just to elaborate a bit - people don't use condoms for all sorts of reasons. The main one is probably that they don't think it's something that is ever going to touch their lives, particularly people who only or mainly have "straight" sex (msw). Other people trust what their sexual partner says about their hiv status. Surely you've been on sex sites where many profiles say DDF, UB2. Most of these people don't accurately know their status and some lie. Other people avoid the subject all together, as you found out. People think they can know a person's hiv status by looking at him or her. "He's fit, he's healthy, he can't be poz."

Learn from our mistakes. You need to insist on condoms until such time as you're in a securely monogamous relationship where you have BOTH tested for All STIs TOGETHER. It's the only sensible thing to do. Protect yourself, regardless of what the other person says - or doesn't say.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #19 on: October 25, 2011, 08:05:34 AM »
Hi Ann
Everything you have informed me of makes total sense and greatly appreciated.
You have been a key player for me in my decision to continue with my relationship.
Its just so unbelievable to me that is, that if preventing HIV is so easy and simple in my mind,
by using a rubber (to put it simply) for penetrative sex all this damn stress, pain, and emotional torture can be easily avoided in the world today.
That is  just my take on this whole HIV epidemic.
I mean lets face it simply wear a condom and prevent all this unnecessary added stress to our daily lives.
It really is that simple according to yourself and the other moderators here!!

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #20 on: October 31, 2011, 07:25:11 AM »
Hi HIV experts
I have a question regarding the use of poppers and HIV linkage.
I have been made aware by a friend that the use of poppers can induce or make an easier transmission for the HIV virus if you are having sex with someone who is HIV +.
Therefore it is suggested or advised not to indulge in poppers if the person is HIV+ while having sexual intercourse either (oral and or penetrative sex )
Can anyone provide any information on the above.
Thanks again

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #21 on: October 31, 2011, 07:56:09 AM »
Profac,

There is no link between poppers and hiv (or KS for that matter). It's a myth.

You can use poppers to your heart's desire, provided you are also USING CONDOMS.

CONDOMS. Use them! Next time you buy a supply of poppers, make sure you also buy a supply of condoms. CONDOMS!!! USE THEM!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #22 on: November 07, 2011, 05:19:51 AM »
Hi Ann
I have a question regarding sexual activity with my HIV pos b.f!
I am noticing that although we are using condoms for penetrative sex always!!!!
He likes to rub his leaking penis on my anus before actual penetration without a condom
i am very concerned and weary of this.
Do you think this is 100% safe for HIV?

Or should he be using a condom first then he can rub against me before penetrating my anus?
He does release precum

Thanks

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #23 on: November 07, 2011, 06:14:55 AM »
Profac,

As long as he does not penetrate you without a condom, this activity is called frottage (rubbing genitals together or rubbing genitals against another part of a person's body) and frottage is NOT a risk for hiv infection.

Just keep using condoms for intercourse and you'll be ok.


Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #24 on: November 07, 2011, 09:22:35 AM »
Hi Ann
Thanks so much for your reply below.
One last question I have
If after penetrating me he wants to release by masturbation his semen on my body parts lets say my back,stomach, or butt area for example, is this considered safe as well???

Also too, reaching climax(cumming) in the condom by him in my anus would you advise this to be safe as well???

I just want to be certain that I am not performing any high risk activities
Thank you again

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #25 on: November 07, 2011, 10:02:34 AM »
Yes, he can ejaculate in you as long as he is always wearing a condom. Same goes for you if you are inside him and ejaculate. That's what condoms are about, providing protection against transmission.

He can ejaculate anywhere on your body without any risk to you as long as you don't have a freshly gaping, bleeding wound. But then that is hardly the circumstance under which you'd be having sex, right?

Sexual risk is only via being penetrated or penetrating without using a condom.
Andy Velez

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #26 on: November 08, 2011, 09:53:15 AM »
Hi
I was reading through the forum on the many questions and answers
I have a question if someone doesnt mind responding.

I read in the forum that once the HIV virus is exposed to the air it quickly become non infectable.
(Please correct me if I am misinterpreting this)

So therefore If someone is HIV + and you are giving a blow job for example
The person giving the blow job to the HIV+ is healthy oral wise meaning no cuts or any infected gums ,etc.

And lets say that the HIV+ person was to cum or ejaculate in their partner's mouth and its swallowed

What are the chances there of sero converting for the HIV - person as a result of swallowing the fluids???

Offline Ann

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #27 on: November 08, 2011, 10:34:02 AM »
Profac,

Would you mind re-reading your entire thread? We've already answered these questions for you.

There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

Please read jkinatl2's recent post detailing all the studies we go by when assessing oral risks (or more to the point, oral NON-risks).

Because of your partner's undetectable viral load, you are in very little danger of becoming infected by him no matter what you do. Just make sure you use condoms (how many times do we have to tell you this?) for anal intercourse and you'll be just fine where hiv is concerned.

It may be time for you to seek counselling if you want to continue with this relationship. I know if I were with a man who continued to be as paranoid as you are this far into things and despite the constant reassurances of this site, I think I'd get out of the relationship. It's a horrible feeling to have someone physically afraid of you when there's no good reason for that fear. You are repeatedly asking the same basic questions (worded differently) again and again and again and it's starting to get a bit tedious, if not downright insulting.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline profac124

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #28 on: November 25, 2011, 10:07:18 AM »
To all the HIV experts
Thank you all so much for your advice and information that you assisted me with in the last months.
I tested negative again yesterday after following the advice you gave to me about my situation with my HIV + Partner.

I will continue to follow your advice going forward.  It truly works, I am living proof.
Thanks so much again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: My partner is hiv+
« Reply #29 on: November 25, 2011, 11:07:44 AM »
Glad to hear you got that happy reassurance of a negative test result. Keep practicing safer sex as you've been told and you should be able to stay negative. On with your life now...
Andy Velez

 


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