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Author Topic: Dating and HIV  (Read 1524 times)

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Offline TheRoof

  • Member
  • Posts: 188
Dating and HIV
« on: October 03, 2011, 01:09:49 AM »
I think one of the hardest things for me personally, is not the HIV. BUT dating while Hiv Positive. I have adapted shortly after I tested positive that it would be best for me to date another HIV Positive person. (These are personal reasons, and I feel that for me it would be best to do so that way)

I understand that it greatly limits my dating pool of potential candidates. Especially since(decent to good looking) gay-men (I am 21) are usually not very interested in the dating scene.

I am not against dating older men either, but that person has to have a lot of energy because I love to do a lot of physical activities… (Like the gym, hiking, swimming, sports... )

For anyone who is HIV Positive, where have you met your “significant” other that is also Hiv Positive? I understand sites like “adam4adam” and “manhunt” could potentially have candidates for dating. But it is mostly a sex-site. To have mid to high expectations there would just be fooling yourself. Lol
« Last Edit: October 03, 2011, 01:11:25 AM by TheRoof »

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #1 on: October 03, 2011, 07:27:15 AM »
I think one of the hardest things for me personally, is not the HIV. BUT dating while Hiv Positive. I have adapted shortly after I tested positive that it would be best for me to date another HIV Positive person. (These are personal reasons, and I feel that for me it would be best to do so that way)

Hey Roof,

  This is something I adapted for myself as well after being diagnosed 6 years ago.  The fear of being rejected, judged, and in my mind, subsequently admonished for my status played a big part in making this decision.  But, you are right, we do limit our choices in the dating pool by doing this.

  How to get beyond those feelings has escaped up to this point.  Some say being open about your status from the very beginning to every "potential candidate" is the way to go, personally I never bought into this for myself though-- there's more substance there than just my HIV status and no, if I was in the dating game, it's not just about sleeping with you.  Get to know me.

  Your post strikes me this morning hard, I had some issues this weekend with some very close family-like friends.  Acceptance is funny, you know?

  Anyways, for me, I found my mate on the POZ dating site.  Before meeting her, I dated several others from there as well.  You can also meet some great people here on the forums.  I know this probably offers little help; probably an indicator of the difficulties we face more than anything else.

  Sorry.....

  Skeebo
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline next2u

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,762
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #2 on: October 03, 2011, 12:13:16 PM »
Hey Roof,

  This is something I adapted for myself as well after being diagnosed 6 years ago.  The fear of being rejected, judged, and in my mind, subsequently admonished for my status played a big part in making this decision.  But, you are right, we do limit our choices in the dating pool by doing this.

  How to get beyond those feelings has escaped up to this point.  Some say being open about your status from the very beginning to every "potential candidate" is the way to go, personally I never bought into this for myself though-- there's more substance there than just my HIV status and no, if I was in the dating game, it's not just about sleeping with you.  Get to know me.

  Your post strikes me this morning hard, I had some issues this weekend with some very close family-like friends.  Acceptance is funny, you know?

  Anyways, for me, I found my mate on the POZ dating site.  Before meeting her, I dated several others from there as well.  You can also meet some great people here on the forums.  I know this probably offers little help; probably an indicator of the difficulties we face more than anything else.

  Sorry.....

  Skeebo

Skeebo has some good points. I've also had some good run ins and made good friends from the Poz dating site. i choose to serosort (date based on hiv status) but am open to dating a negative person. My preference is poz and happiness.

best,
d
midapr07 - seroconversion
sept07 - tested poz
oct07 cd4 1013; vl 13,900; cd4% 41
feb08 cd4  694;  vl 16,160; cd4% 50.1
may08 cd4 546; vl 91,480; cd4% 32
aug08 cd4 576; vl 48,190; cd4% 40.7
dec08 cd4 559; vl 63,020; cd4% 29.4
feb09 cd4 464; vl 11,000; cd4% 26
may09 cd4 544; vl 29,710; cd4% 27.2
oct09 cd4 ...; vl 23,350; cd4% 31.6
mar10 cd4 408; vl 59,050; cd4% 31.4
aug10 cd4 328; vl 80,000; cd4% 19.3 STARTED ATRIPLA
oct10 cd4 423; vl 410 ;); cd4% 30.2
jun11 cd4 439; vl <20 ;); cd4% 33.8 <-Undetectable!
mar12 cd4 695; vl ud; cd4% 38.6
jan13 cd4 738; vl ud; cd4% 36.8
aug13 cd4 930; vl ud; cd4% 44.3
jan14 cd4 813; vl ud; cd4% 42.8
may14 cd4 783; vl *; cd4%43.5

Offline james3000

  • Member
  • Posts: 140
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #3 on: October 03, 2011, 12:34:50 PM »
Please remember you are not alone rejection is a universal thing and HIV makes it even more complicated.
Think of all the millions of people with HIV I and them feel the same as you.
What I feel I would do is perhaps be upfront about HIV Status on dating sites without giving a photo and being cautious to protect yourself.
Maybe your local ASO has a youth group or forum where you can discuss these issues that affect us all.

I am sure you will meet the right person for you and be happy.

Offline benten88

  • Member
  • Posts: 4
Re: Dating and HIV
« Reply #4 on: October 04, 2011, 12:54:46 AM »
Dating is going to be more difficult being positive but I don't think you should limit yourself to only dating someone that is positive. I'm 23 and have been positive for 8 months now; my dating life has not changed much since then. I think you should not be quick to give away your status; let the person get to know you a bit first.

 


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