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Author Topic: Please help, need some adivce  (Read 2135 times)

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Offline snowdog1975

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Please help, need some adivce
« on: September 27, 2011, 08:08:18 PM »
Hello all,

I have been racking my brain over this. I have an axiety disorder so I tend to dwell on things even though I shouldn't.

I recently had a test done and it was non-reactive. So as of 12 weeks from the 15th of this month I didnt have HIV.

Now in the 12 week window I had a couple of encounters that I am questioning. Am I at risk from any of these situations?

1, oral sex with a condom on. Never noticed if there was any blood in the girls mouth, but nothing stood out.
2, a few hand jobs from a massage parlor, unprotected.
3, girl rubbed on my penis, she was naked my penis was out and unprotected, she sat on me her back facing me, rubbed up and down while her hand was on the penis. so the vagina wasn't really in contact and there was no penetration.

I talked to the nurse at the clinic she advised that these are not a risk and there is no need for a further test as long as I don't have unprotected sex.

You guys as experts, can you please give me advise on these situations? do I need to get re tested? do I need to worry about this?

Any intercourse was before the test window and was with protection.

Thank you so much in advance.

What you do here is very helpful to so many people. I hope you realize just how appreciated you are!!

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #1 on: September 27, 2011, 08:16:46 PM »
The nurse was correct you never had an exposure.

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #2 on: September 27, 2011, 08:18:30 PM »
RapidRod I thank you for responding to my post.

So is it safe to say that I can stop this worrying and move on with my life and not have to go and get another test?

I am hoping Andy will comment as well.

You guys are all so great for helping people the way you do.

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #3 on: September 28, 2011, 05:17:17 AM »
Snow,

Yes, please do stop worrying about those NO RISK incidents. You have not been at risk for hiv infection.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!! Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #4 on: September 28, 2011, 07:48:34 AM »
Thank you so much Ann,

I am beginning to stop the worrying now.

Offline snowdog1975

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  • Posts: 13
Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #5 on: September 28, 2011, 08:31:34 PM »
how acurate are the tests? I had the test where you get the results in minutes. Is true they can give a false positive but not a false negative?

Any sex (protected) that would of taken place before the 12 week window (which gave a non reactive) would be safe to put behind me?

Sorry for bothering you again.

Thanks in adavnce for any response.

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #6 on: September 29, 2011, 08:31:01 AM »
Sorry for posting again, can't escape these fears. I believe they are from feeling guilty for straying.

This has sure set me straight against straying.

If I could your reassurance one last time I would appreciate it.

1 Sex with a condom is no/little risk?
2 Oral with a condom is no risk?
3 The point of care rapid tests are accurate at 12 weeks? and possibly fairly accurate at 6 weeks?

Sorry for posting again, with your reassurance I am sure I can put this behind me and move on.

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #7 on: September 29, 2011, 09:00:11 AM »
Snow,

1. Condoms have been proven to prevent hiv infection. There have been three long-term studies of couples where one is positive and one is negative. In the couples who used condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, but no barrier for oral activities, not one of the negative partners became infected with hiv. Not one.

2. Oral sex is not a risk, with or without a condom. See #1 above.

3. Rapid tests are accurate at twelve weeks. The vast majority of people who have actually been infected will seroconvert and test positive by six weeks, with the average time to seroconversion being only 22 days. A six week negative must be confirmed at the three month point, but is highly unlikely to change.

You have NOT had a risk for hiv infection.

Here's what you need to know in order to avoid hiv infection:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED FURTHER TESTING AT THIS TIME, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

You are conclusively hiv negative. You do NOT have hiv! Protect your negative status by using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #8 on: September 29, 2011, 09:31:37 AM »
Thank you so much Ann for putting my mind at ease.

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #9 on: October 03, 2011, 09:12:22 PM »
Sorry just another question,

If I received a negative result at 3 months, is there any reason to test again at 6 months if there was no risks during those 3 months?

The no risks are the situations I mentioned above.

I took a 2nd test 2 weeks after the first one and received another negative so that is 2 negative rapid tests.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #10 on: October 03, 2011, 09:18:25 PM »
You never had a risk and don't need testing.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #11 on: October 03, 2011, 09:28:37 PM »
Snow,

Yes, please do stop worrying about those NO RISK incidents. You have not been at risk for hiv infection.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!! Read through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use them correctly and with confidence.

Ann

You need to stop holding on to this situation. HIV is not your problem. Period. End of story. Get on with your life.
Andy Velez

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #12 on: October 03, 2011, 11:00:05 PM »
I am sorry for posting again, I was all good and moving on when someone told me you need to test at 6months cause it can take longer than 3 months to develop the antibodies.

So what you guys are saying is that I am good to go and dont need to test and it is safe to touch my wife?

reason being is that before the window of 12 weeks (approx 15 weeks) i had protected sex with a sexworker. And also did this a few times before that too.  If the 12 week test is conclusive then I am clear but if there is a risk and need to test at 6 months then I am back at square one.

thank you for all the advice thus far, you have no idea how much you have helped me already.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #13 on: October 03, 2011, 11:14:13 PM »
■Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.

Offline Ann

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #14 on: October 04, 2011, 06:09:34 AM »
Snow,

Have you read a single thing we've written to you? It would seem you haven't as you keep asking the same questions over and over and over again.

You did not have a risk.

You did not need to test.

Even if you DID have a risk, you have tested conclusively hiv negative. A three month test is conclusive and whoever told you six months doesn't know what they're talking about.

You do not have hiv.

You do not have hiv.

YOU DO NOT HAVE HIV!!!

Keep coming back with further questions over this situation and you WILL be given that time out you've been warned about.

Please consider yourself warned for the last time!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline snowdog1975

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  • Posts: 13
Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #15 on: October 25, 2011, 08:06:03 AM »
Hello all,

Can you please tell me if this was a risk and if a test is needed?

This is seperate from my first post, but seen that you should always post in your own posts.

I had a dance where the woman was naked and my penis was out unprotected. she grinded on my rubbing her backside against my penis, but the head was visible the whole time. there was no insertion.

I cannot remember if there were anyfluids involved, this is where my worry comes in.

I think this should be a no risk correct?  Would you be able to explain that if fluids were involved or the penis rubbed on her vagina why there would or would not be a risk?

I wanted to confirm with you guys before I went in to get a test. Hoping a test isnt even needed.

Thanks so much for helping me before and this time.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #16 on: October 25, 2011, 08:36:57 AM »
No, rubbing is not a risk. It is not intercourse which unprotected is definitely a risk. As you continue on with your life you need to be thinking and applying what has been said to you about what is risky and what isn't instead of running here anxiously as if you have never had any conversations about sexual activity.

So your latest is a non-risk situation. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #17 on: October 25, 2011, 08:46:59 AM »
Great thank you Andy for the fast reply.

So for HIV, you are only going to get it from unprotected anal and vaginal intercourse. Is that correct?

so for future encounters if I question the risk, I can ask myself was it unprotected intercourse, and if it wasnt then I am good to go. Although I wouldnt have unprotected intercourse with someone who's status I did not know for sure.

Thanks again.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #18 on: October 25, 2011, 08:56:28 AM »
That's right, sexually the only confirmed risks for HIV transmission are unprotected vaginal and anal intercourse. Just keep it simple. It's really not a complicated matter.

And until if and when you may find yourself in a securely monogamous relationship in which both partners reliably test negative together, until then you should ALWAYS be using condoms and not just when you THINK the other person is negative.

 
Andy Velez

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #19 on: October 25, 2011, 09:15:27 PM »
Hi Andy, Ann, RapidRod

This is more of a request for information.

Why is it not a risk to rub your penis on a vagina with no penitration? I thought vaginal fluid would all be the same. I know the virus dies when exposed to air or outside conditions of the body. Is that why if the head of your penis rubbed on the outside of a vagina and got vaginal fluid on it, it would still be no risk because there was no penitration?

Thanks.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #20 on: October 25, 2011, 09:46:34 PM »
Vaginal fluid is NOT all the same. the fluids that are released for lubrication come from the Bartholen Glands, located just inside the vagina. Those fluids are more closely related to sweat or tears, and do not contain infectious fluids.

Infectious fluids are found deep within the vagina, in the thick mucousal fluids of the cervix. Those fluids are not encountered in any activity except for penetrative sex.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #21 on: October 25, 2011, 10:13:20 PM »
so this type of activity can be listed as safe, like a handjob?

Thank you for the information, most people seem to say that if the head of the penis comes in contact with vaginal fluid then you are risk. I am glad you guys/girls are around to help get out accurate information.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #22 on: October 25, 2011, 10:31:53 PM »
:) You are welcome. We do rock, if I might say so myself.

HIV risks are:

penetrative anal and vaginal sex.

HIV risks aren't

Anything else sexually.

You need to know that OTHER STDs are way stronger and more virulent than HIV, including HPV and Hepatitis - which can be pretty dreadful.

"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #23 on: October 26, 2011, 08:04:16 AM »
And you also need to know that if you continue to return over a non-risk situation you are going to find yourself getting a Time Out from this site as you have been warned previosuly.

HIV is not your problem at this point and it won't be in the future as far as sexual risk is concerned as long as you consistently use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse. 
Andy Velez

Offline snowdog1975

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #24 on: October 26, 2011, 10:28:28 AM »
Thanks guys,

My issue is anxiety it seems. I know that I am not infected, the tests show that and the activities are no risk activities.

As soon as I feel like I am safe to move, I question and fear that it is not safe to move on. And look for reassurance.

I admit that I really did not understand that you can only get it from unprotected vaginal and anal penetrative sex. But thanks to you guys I am well informed now.

I have made an appointment with my doctor to explore anxiety medications to get rid of the fear and obsession with making sure I am safe to move on from this.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Please help, need some adivce
« Reply #25 on: October 26, 2011, 11:58:04 AM »
OK. Good luck to you.
Andy Velez

 


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