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Author Topic: very freaked out need advice  (Read 1458 times)

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Offline veryafraid

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  • Posts: 4
very freaked out need advice
« on: September 09, 2011, 12:28:33 PM »
Hello,

I am posting here because I am very worried about infection and need advice. I am a gay male, I did a stupid thing and cheated on my boyfriend a couple of times, the worst being top anal about 5-6 months ago(he insists that he is tested regularly) and unprotected oral about 8 weeks ago, after which the guilt of cheating finally caught up with me and I decided not to do it again. My problem lies here, in a routine check up with a new PCP my boyfriend got an indeterminate hiv test(I know for a fact he has never cheated), as a result I went immediately to the clinic for a rapid finger prick test which came back negative, we are currently awaiting the results of his re-test and are both incredibly freaked out.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2011, 12:59:58 PM »
very,

Unless the intercourse outside your relationship was unprotected, then you weren't at risk for hiv infection. Oral sex is not a risk for hiv infection and neither is protected intercourse.

As you have had a negative result 5-6 six months after your indiscretion, you are conclusively hiv negative for that, regardless of what your risk factor was.

Indeterminate and/or false positive results can happen for all sorts of reasons. There is no reason to think your bf had anything other than a false result. A re-test will sort it out. If by chance he gets another indeterminate or a positive result, a Western Blot test will determine if these are false results or true results.

Given you are conclusively hiv negative from your indiscretions 5-6 month ago, if he does turn out to be poz, he didn't get it from you.

Ann
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Offline veryafraid

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #2 on: September 13, 2011, 06:28:52 PM »
Hello,

I wanted to update my situation. My BFs test results came back 4 weeks after the original with a once again indeterminate western blot, his doctor said they will do different testing for the virus itself, and seemed fairly optimistic; however, I am still very much freaked out and thinking of a million scenarios in my head, any additional input will be vastly appreciated.

thank you.

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #3 on: September 13, 2011, 06:37:56 PM »

I feel compelled to quote Ann here:


Given you are conclusively hiv negative from your indiscretions 5-6 month ago, if he does turn out to be poz, he didn't get it from you.

Ann
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline veryafraid

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #4 on: September 13, 2011, 06:42:00 PM »
That is not a very comforting quote, nor is it even helpful, I know he doesn't cheat and I would be hard pressed to believe that he wouldn't spill the beans in this situation. I would appreciate some real feed back and information that is actually useful...thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #5 on: September 13, 2011, 06:45:24 PM »
If you don't want the facts or for some reason you can't accept the facts, then you are on the wrong forum. Because that is all you are going to be given here.

Offline jkinatl2

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #6 on: September 13, 2011, 06:52:25 PM »
Here is your real feed back

YOU are HIV negative.

Period.

I cannot speak for your BF because I do not know his sexual history. I DO know that HE cannot get a virus from YOU that YOU do not, yourself, have.

I am not here to comfort. I am here to present information and facts. Which I did.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline veryafraid

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #7 on: September 13, 2011, 07:02:32 PM »
Facts and insight based upon them are precisely what I am looking for, re-quoting something that provides no understanding on no questions raised upon information provided is not providing facts and my dissatisfaction with such is certainly not indicative of an inability to handle any situation. Regardless, I did not come here to argue or be catty as such is not my nature, my questions include, again the fated blowjob question, I said I had oral sex 7-8 weeks prior to testing, giving and receiving, nobody came in anybody elses mouth but precum is an unknown, there was no brushing of teeth as has been suggested by some experts to increase risk, so is this a risk? Another question revolves around the tests he received and the multiple indeterminacies, very confused by all this and would be very appreciative of answers or insight and not merely being looked down upon for worrying about a potentially life changing situation

thank you.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #8 on: September 13, 2011, 07:06:39 PM »
No incident HIV infections among MSM who practice exclusively oral sex.
Int Conf AIDS 2004 Jul 11-16; 15:(abstract no. WePpC2072)??Balls JE, Evans JL, Dilley J, Osmond D, Shiboski S, Shiboski C, Klausner J, McFarland W, Greenspan D, Page-Shafer K?University of California, San Francisco, San Francisco, United States

Oral transmission of HIV, reality or fiction? An update
J Campo1, MA Perea1, J del Romero2, J Cano1, V Hernando2, A Bascones1
Oral Diseases (2006) 12, 219–228

AIDS: Volume 16(17) 22 November 2002 pp 2350-2352
Risk of HIV infection attributable to oral sex among men who have sex with men and in the population of men who have sex with men

Page-Shafer, Kimberlya,b; Shiboski, Caroline Hb; Osmond, Dennis Hc; Dilley, Jamesd; McFarland, Willie; Shiboski, Steve Cc; Klausner, Jeffrey De; Balls, Joycea; Greenspan, Deborahb; Greenspan
Page-Shafer K, Veugelers PJ, Moss AR, Strathdee S, Kaldor JM, van Griensven GJ. Sexual risk behavior and risk factors for HIV-1 seroconversion in homosexual men participating in the Tricontinental Seroconverter Study, 1982-1994 [published erratum appears in Am J Epidemiol 1997 15 Dec; 146(12):1076]. Am J Epidemiol 1997, 146:531-542.

Studies which show the fallacy of relying on anecdotal evidence as opposed to carefully controlled study insofar as HIV transmission risk is concerned:

Jenicek M. "Clinical Case Reporting" in Evidence-Based Medicine. Oxford: Butterworth–Heinemann; 1999:117
Saltzman SP, Stoddard AM, McCusker J, Moon MW, Mayer KH. Reliability of self-reported sexual behavior risk factors for HIV infection in homosexual men. Public Health Rep. 1987 102(6):692–697.Nov–Dec;

Catania JA, Gibson DR, Chitwood DD, Coates TJ. Methodological problems in AIDS behavioral research: influences on measurement error and participation bias in studies of sexual behavior. Psychol Bull. 1990 Nov;108(3):339–362.


You never had a risk of contracting HIV from oral sex.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: very freaked out need advice
« Reply #9 on: September 13, 2011, 07:06:44 PM »
I don't think it's a good idea to get into discussing your bf and his results. Hopefully he will come out of this HIV negative.

What we do know from what you have reported is that you are HIV negative. Period. That is not in question at this time. So there really isn't anything more to say about the bf beyond waiting to see final test results for him.

I don't see there is anything more for us to say or to do in relation to your concerns.  
Andy Velez

 


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