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Author Topic: advice required  (Read 1823 times)

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Offline helpsicker

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  • Posts: 7
advice required
« on: September 08, 2011, 10:05:51 AM »
Hi guys . First of all thank you for your great services. I have read some of the post relevant to me and gathered some idea. I have also asked this question in other forums and got their answers. Need your advice as well.

Two day before , I did the first mistake of my life ( I never had sex outside my marriage). I hired a CSW in Dubai . She put a condom on my penis and proceed to vaginal sex. However, I was not erect and could feel the penetration only at the first time she put it inside her ( she was on top). After that I did not feel any penetration . After about 15 seconds I felt that I have completely lost the erection and told her to stop. Upon observation  the condom was found to be intact ( although I did not test with water but very litte white residue  was found inside the tip of the condom and my penis tip was filled with transparent liquid , most probably precum) . The condom was very loose to the shaft as the penis was totally flacid.

After that she removed the condom with tissue . And gave me a hand job after which I ejaculated. During this episode , I fingered her.

My questions are :

1. Is it possible that some of the vaginal fluid sipped from bottom and accumulated inside the condom , leading to a direct body fluid contact?

2. Can the condom be cut or torn slightly which I could not see?

3. What is my overall risk of contracting HIV ? Should I get tested ?

I  am feeling huge guilt  which I have to deal alone , but your  suggestions would provide great assurance to me

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: advice required
« Reply #1 on: September 08, 2011, 10:18:39 AM »
help,

1. No. This simply does not happen.

2. No. When a condom breaks, it's VERY noticeable.

3. You have not had a risk for hiv infection and you do not need to test over this specific incident.

This is all about your guilt over having sex outside your marriage. However, nothing you did or had done to you was a risk for hiv infection.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline helpsicker

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  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #2 on: September 08, 2011, 10:27:07 AM »
Thank you very much  for your advice  Ann.

Offline helpsicker

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2011, 03:14:08 AM »
May be it is for my guilt , but now I am thinking whether it was a protected sex. I was a bit drunk but could could recall following incidents :

1. I could remember her putting the condom in my penis . But she did it very fast and immediately after that she  put the penis in vagina

2. I could not recall of having any sensation of my penis directly rubbing with the vagina . ( although I felt worm sensation in my penis in the first moment when she put the penis inside the vagina).

3. When I pulled the penis out ( after 15-20 second ) I could faintly remember some white residue inside the tip of the condom and the penis shaft been covered by condom loosely.

4. I could faintly remember the girl removing the condom by tissue.

5. Next day morning I found one torn  piece of condom packet and one intact condom packet.

I know that now I am becoming vague and in the first place I was the dumbest man to get drunk before sex. Could you guys anyway advise me something else from the one you have already advised ?

Offline helpsicker

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2011, 03:15:29 AM »
May be it is for my guilt , but now I am thinking whether it was a protected sex. I was a bit drunk but could could recall following incidents :

1. I could remember her putting the condom in my penis . But she did it very fast and immediately after that she  put the penis in vagina

2. I could not recall of having any sensation of my penis directly rubbing with the vagina . ( although I felt worm sensation in my penis in the first moment when she put the penis inside the vagina).

3. When I pulled the penis out ( after 15-20 second ) I could faintly remember some white residue inside the tip of the condom and the penis shaft been covered by condom loosely.

4. I could faintly remember the girl removing the condom by tissue.

5. Next day morning I found one torn  piece of condom packet and one intact condom packet.

I know that now I am becoming vague and in the first place I was the dumbest man to get drunk before sex. Could you guys anyway advise me something else from the one you have already advised ?

Offline RapidRod

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Re: advice required
« Reply #5 on: September 25, 2011, 07:28:01 AM »
How is it you can remember having sex but now you have problems remembering about your condom use. That doesn't make any bit of sense.

Offline helpsicker

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  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #6 on: September 25, 2011, 08:08:56 AM »
The first post is what I could recall and describe regarding the incident . However,  as I am thinking about the incident more and more many probabilities are coming to my mind . The episode of "sex" i.e my penis insider the girl's vagina lasted only 15-20 seconds only . I was down and the lady was on top . The encounter was very brief. Also , as i myself did not remove the condom I am getting doubt.

I also forget to inform that when i told the lady to stop and pulled out . The lady asked me whether i am finished. When I said "no", she pointed out to the white residue inside condom and asked me " then what is this " - This statement from the lady I can recall firmly.

I should also add that I met the CSW next week and asked regarding her HIV status. She said  she was negative. Also when I asked him whether we used condom during the intercourse she said  she only gave me a hand job ( her English understanding was poor and probably could not understand my question).

I should also add that I am an uncircumcised male.

I know I am becoming erratic. Teak please help me.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: advice required
« Reply #7 on: September 25, 2011, 08:59:34 AM »
The first post is what I could recall and describe regarding the incident . However,  as I am thinking about the incident more and more many probabilities are coming to my mind . The episode of "sex" i.e my penis insider the girl's vagina lasted only 15-20 seconds only . I was down and the lady was on top . The encounter was very brief. Also , as i myself did not remove the condom I am getting doubt.

I also forget to inform that when i told the lady to stop and pulled out . The lady asked me whether i am finished. When I said "no", she pointed out to the white residue inside condom and asked me " then what is this " - This statement from the lady I can recall firmly.

I should also add that I met the CSW next week and asked regarding her HIV status. She said  she was negative. Also when I asked him whether we used condom during the intercourse she said  she only gave me a hand job ( her English understanding was poor and probably could not understand my question).

I should also add that I am an uncircumcised male.

I know I am becoming erratic. Teak please help me.

Not only are you having trouble remembering your condom use, you don't even remember if your partner was a man or a woman.

I should also add that I met the CSW next week and asked regarding her HIV status. She said  she was negative. Also when I asked him whether we used condom during the intercourse she said  she only gave me a hand job ( her English understanding was poor and probably could not understand my question).

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advice required
« Reply #8 on: September 25, 2011, 09:38:26 AM »
In re-reading your entries it seems to me that your guilt over having strayed is causing you to make this situation more complicated than it actually is.

You had intercourse wearing a condom. That's good. They provide very effective protection.

If you are going to continue to stress about the situation there is a simple solution. Get tested and collect the inevitable negative result. You can test initially at 6 weeks. A negative at that point will always be a strong indication that you will  continue to test negative.

I don't see that we can do anything more for you in this setting.
Andy Velez

Offline helpsicker

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  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #9 on: September 25, 2011, 09:45:38 AM »
The CSW was a female indeed.

Anyway, I understand that I am making things difficult for you and myself as well. As suggested by Andy , I will undergo a test.

Thanks for your understanding and sorry to bother you with the thoughts of my anxious mind.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: advice required
« Reply #10 on: September 25, 2011, 09:53:53 AM »
It's not making anything difficult for us because we are not going to continue a back and forth about what is essentially a non-risk for HIV situation.

Your getting tested is essentially just for your peace of mind and not because there was a real risk. And yes, that means we expect you to test negative.

Meantime you need to get on with your life and make a real effort to turn your attention to other matters. Don't bother saying you're too worried to do that because I can tell you that kind of response won't fly here. Just do it.
Andy Velez

Offline helpsicker

  • Member
  • Posts: 7
Re: advice required
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2011, 01:38:17 AM »
 6 weeks antibody test negetive. Can  I move on ?

Offline jkinatl2

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  • Posts: 6,007
  • Doo. Dah. Dipp-ity.
Re: advice required
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2011, 02:05:54 AM »
6 weeks antibody test negetive. Can  I move on ?

Seriously? You could have "moved on" a month ago.
"Many people, especially in the gay community, turn to oral sex as a safer alternative in the age of AIDS. And with HIV rates rising, people need to remember that oral sex is safer sex. It's a reasonable alternative."

-Kimberly Page-Shafer, PhD, MPH

Welcome Thread

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: advice required
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2011, 07:56:52 AM »
Help,

You did not have a risk for hiv infection so yes, PLEASE do move on. You do NOT have hiv.

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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