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Author Topic: please help me understand fingering risk  (Read 1286 times)

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Offline very scared

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
please help me understand fingering risk
« on: July 04, 2011, 06:48:06 AM »
To Ann, Andy and others

I am trying to consolidate information gathered on the web regarding the risk of fingering with respect to HIV infection. I see there are two camps, one very much as defining it NO risk, in other words safe, while others are a little more cautious by proclaiming it is safe as long as there is intact skin. It also seems the definition of intact is hard to pin down.

About five years ago I was in a then very long monogamous relationship, hetero. I wandered a bit and on several occasions spanning maybe 14 months, I engaged in some activities that included no penetration of any sort but did include fingering. These were with workers of the commercial sex trade.
My errand ways stopped after this and I have continued in the same relationship I was in prior.

My belief then was that all guilt aside, my actions were safe and did not warrant testing. For better or worst reasons, I recently started reading again on transmission and am beginning to have disturbing thoughts about whether the risk was really not a risk. Credible sites like the CDC, Columbia University, The Body and others are extremely cautious about the level of risk and stop short of calling it safe sex. If indeed there are no documented cases globally after 30 years, why not say it is safe?

So now I find myself totally confused. Fear is setting in that I may have acquired an infection and have also infected my spouse. I never tested. I never developed any symptoms, nor my spouse.
I have read your web space and realize I am probably looking for a re assurance that I could have gotten simply by reading the posts.

I am feeling quite scared right now and not sure what to think any more. Is there any data out there that really supports that fingering is a no risk, or is it mainly anecdotal? I would feel more assured if you could provide some support  and re assurance if this is possible.

thank you

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,190
Re: please help me understand fingering risk
« Reply #1 on: July 04, 2011, 06:56:49 AM »
Fingering is NOT a risk of HIV transmission.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please help me understand fingering risk
« Reply #2 on: July 04, 2011, 09:45:27 AM »
very,

I do have links to studies concerning the NO RISK status of fingering, but unfortunately Fire Fox's latest upgrade has yet to reinstate the Google toolbar, which is where all my links of that nature live. However, if you're willing to do some work for yourself, use this forum's search engine. Make sure you only search in the Am I Infected forum - just to make it easier to find the relevant threads. Search for "fingering" and you'll get plenty of hits.

If you cannot bring yourself to believe us when we say that fingering is not a risk for hiv infection and not one person has ever been infected this way, the go test, collect your negative result and move on with your life. It's that simple.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline very scared

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: please help me understand fingering risk
« Reply #3 on: July 04, 2011, 10:01:58 AM »
Thank you Ann. You words and re assurance do provide some comfort. I have no doubt that the guilt is driving these thoughts, and that discussion is outside the scope of this forum.

I do however want to take this moment to tell you that I, like many others no doubt, are ever so grateful for the amount of time you invest to educate people who have fears. This applies as well to the others in this forum who take the time to explain answers.

Take care

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 27,947
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: please help me understand fingering risk
« Reply #4 on: July 04, 2011, 11:50:31 AM »
Very,

You're welcome.

I meant what I said - if testing is the only way to put your mind at rest, by all means, go test and collect your negative result.

Forget the guilt. Hiv is not a punishment for sexual activities outside your committed relationship. It's just a virus that is transmitted in only a very few, very specific ways and fingering is not one of them.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline very scared

  • Member
  • Posts: 3
Re: please help me understand fingering risk
« Reply #5 on: July 04, 2011, 05:56:56 PM »
Dear Ann
I heeded your advice and got tested today and you predicted the outcome. It was negative.
So on this note, and since I don't expect further out of relationship adventures, I may only check in here to get the pulse of what's going on in this world of HIV

Again, you are an angel Ann who comes across with concise, clear and authoratative information. If we could overcome our fears and listen to you, it would be so much simpler.

I read in your blog/webspace that 2010 was a bad year for you but that 2011 is looking better. I hope it brings you a tremendous amount of health and well wishes

signed,
me, not so "very scared" anymore

 


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