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Author Topic: My LTS counselor has cancer and I'm scared for him and for me"  (Read 888 times)

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Offline jm1953

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Hi members: 

I'm very sad because the best counselor I have gay, and understanding and whose specialty is working with LTS clients, told me he has cancer and after bone marrow surgery may be out for three months or an undetermined period time.  Not only did my heart break for him for what he is now going through with weekly chemo, but that bone marrow transplant surgery can be very risky. You would never know going into a session he had any chemo treatments let alone five.  He seemed as compassionate and totally focused on my issues and helping me work through them.

After learning his condition the only question coming to me was why someone as wonderful and caring as he, not HIV+, having lost a long term loving partner to AIDS, could be so comfortable in not showing his pain but committed to his mission to helping his LTS clients. 

God this broke my heart.  In more ways than you know.  He is a fantastic person, has been counseling the LGBT population for so long.  And he is now fighting for his life. 

His surgery is scheduled in June and I pray it will go well for him.  That is really the main priority here.  But at the same time, I feel a bit selfish because I am losing a Gay counselor who saw everything we saw in the 80's and 90's , lost a partner to AIDS, and has devoted to helping LTS clients.

He works in the cities major Gay Counseling Service, and they have many counselors, therapists, and two  Psychiatrists.  He said he will refer me to the best match he can find.   And for that I am grateful

But he has helped me with my issues in only five months  compared to years with other therapists.  So this is to me another loss.  I will pray for him every day and send every good wish.  But selfishly I feel like I am going to have to start all over, of course not assigning any blame. 

It just seems to be the pattern of my life of finding something positive, hanging on to it, trusting it, and then it's gone.  I guess that is why I have such abandonment issues.

That is why I appreciate always having this forum to fall back on.  And for that I am so very grateful.. I am scared for my counselor, my friend, and scared for myself that I will fall off the track we both have tried to keep me on, staying positive, staying of the drugs and alcohol for comfort.   

That is what I wanted to say, obviously sounding like I am pouring my heart out.

I usually keep this all inside me, and try to put it out there in my writing and poetry, but this I don't know how to deal with.

Thanks always for listening and thanks for your support!

Best to everyone,

Positive 29 years. Diagnosed 10/1987.  Current CD 4: 720: Viral load: almost 100.  Current drug regimen, Tivicay, Emtriva, Endurant, Wellbutrin, Clonazepam, Uloric, Losartan Potassium,Allegra, Ambien, Testosterone, Nandrolone, Vicodin, Benedryl, Aspirin, lots of vitamin supplements.

Online LongTimeSurvivor

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Re: My LTS counselor has cancer and I'm scared for him and for me"
« Reply #1 on: April 25, 2016, 05:59:57 PM »
Sorry to hear about your therapist's health issue. Also understand your "selfish (not)" feelings.

For what it's worth, my boss's wife has had to undergo two full bone marrow transplants over a period of three years and she has managed to survive both. Let your therapist know and maybe it will give him another thing to hold on to as he deals with what he'll be going through in the coming months.

Best to you and your therapist.
Of course it's important. It's an email...

Offline BT65

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Re: My LTS counselor has cancer and I'm scared for him and for me"
« Reply #2 on: April 26, 2016, 06:25:54 AM »
Hi JM,
Sorry to read about this.  I don't think you are "bad" for being a bit upset over not being able to continue counseling with him right now. It is difficult to have to think about starting over with someone else, but hopefully with your records being there, whoever he refers you to will be able to see where you are at now so you won't have to vomit everything out again.

I don't personally know anyone who has gone through bone marrow surgery, though longterm survivor mentioned his boss' wife has gone through it twice and survived both times. So that's good news.  Hopefully everything will go well. Of course there's always a chance things could not turn out well but I wouldn't focus on that too much.

Good luck with your new therapist. And I wish the best for your current one.

I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

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Offline harleymc

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Re: My LTS counselor has cancer and I'm scared for him and for me"
« Reply #3 on: April 26, 2016, 08:34:46 AM »
Sorry to hear of your counselor's health issues.

I'm glad he's helped you a lot, go out grab life by the scruff and make him proud.

Offline Wade

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Re: My LTS counselor has cancer and I'm scared for him and for me"
« Reply #4 on: April 26, 2016, 09:01:30 AM »
Hi JM,
I'm sorry also hear about your friend/counselor
people do survive bone marrow transplants and recover .

I'm with Harley, Grab some gusto and let him
see how much he has helped you !

Best, Wade

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