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Author Topic: Finding a partner after POZ?  (Read 2583 times)

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Offline ocguy79

  • Member
  • Posts: 31
    • Grindr Sucks
Finding a partner after POZ?
« on: June 15, 2011, 04:21:24 PM »
I was diagnosed back in 2009 I believe and ever since I have had issues with finding another mate to share my life with. (or even the occasional date) I guess my question is, How do you go by letting the other person know about your status prior to starting anything with that person....
3/21/09 - Tested Poz   Tcells/374   VL/109,000
9/02/09 - Tcells/290  VL/189,000
9/11/09 - Approved for ADAP
9/15/09 - Started Truvada, Isentress and Kaletra
6/15/11 - Undetectable - (On same meds as above)
7/20/11 - Started Atripla
12/10/13 - Tcells/620 - VL/0

Offline ocguy79

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    • Grindr Sucks
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #1 on: June 15, 2011, 04:22:27 PM »
Also, I am a member of the POZ personals and have not had much luck.
3/21/09 - Tested Poz   Tcells/374   VL/109,000
9/02/09 - Tcells/290  VL/189,000
9/11/09 - Approved for ADAP
9/15/09 - Started Truvada, Isentress and Kaletra
6/15/11 - Undetectable - (On same meds as above)
7/20/11 - Started Atripla
12/10/13 - Tcells/620 - VL/0

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #2 on: June 15, 2011, 04:56:48 PM »
Also, I am a member of the POZ personals and have not had much luck.

POZ personals sucks.  Especially so now that practically any useful function is designated as a "premium feature".

Online sites are good for one thing:  scoring some dick.  In that sense, it's usually easier, faster and cheaper than getting pizza delivered to your door.  If you're looking for love, not so much.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline mecch

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  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #3 on: June 15, 2011, 05:08:10 PM »
How do you go by letting the other person know about your status prior to starting anything with that person....

Did I understand correctly?  You want people to know you are HIV+ before you start anything?  Seems to be only two options:   

If the don't know, then tell them when you meet them, before you start anything.

Or, put it in your online profile for when you look online, then people will know right away. 


“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Online Basquo

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Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #4 on: June 16, 2011, 10:01:43 AM »
Tell them before the first kiss. If they're fine with it, take 'em home and nail 'em (or arrage the next date.)  If they're not fine with it, you might be disappointed but not nearly as hurt as you would be if you had let it go further without disclosure and they had bolted when you told them. That first kiss changes everything.

Offline redbull

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  • Posts: 73
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #5 on: June 18, 2011, 05:39:37 AM »
Tell them before the first kiss. If they're fine with it, take 'em home and nail 'em (or arrage the next date.)  If they're not fine with it, you might be disappointed but not nearly as hurt as you would be if you had let it go further without disclosure and they had bolted when you told them. That first kiss changes everything.


This is what I do.  Its always scarey putting yourself on the line like that but let it be their choice to continue anything or not that way neither of you gets hurt later on.  I always make sure to tell guys I'll answer any questions they have.  You'll be surprised how many guys know nothing about this disease or the risks.  This way it opens communication & you might be able to put their mind at ease by talking about it.

I have met some great guys that are very understanding about it & some kinda shy away. 
If you wish to see the best in others, show the best of yourself.

5/20/09  tested poz
6/2/09  CD4-94    VL-380,000
8/09   Allergic reaction to bactrim
9/09/09  started Atripla
5/10    cd4 315  vl undetectable
3/11    cd4 400  undetectable
6/11.   Cd4 520. Undetectable
12/11. Cd4 450. Undetectable
6/12.   Cd4 600. UD
2/13.   Cd4 425. UD

Offline Ann

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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #6 on: June 18, 2011, 09:19:32 AM »
I always tell right up-front too. It's a great way of separating the wheat from the chaff. Sometimes it's a good way of rebuffing unwanted advances although it doesn't always work, in my experience.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline John2038

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  • Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
    • HIV Research News (Twitter)
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #7 on: June 19, 2011, 03:48:02 AM »
being poz haven't change anything for me when it come to dating, poz or neg.
now you have to try also of course, are you ?

since trying again since just 2 weeks, got plenty potential dates willing, no problems.
I haven't try poz only, but women I felt attract to, going out or online.

I have even disclose early. No problems.
Just be you, focus on people you appreciate and feel attracted to, no matter their potential status, and it should/will work. You just have to be ready for that (dating), and willing to seduce.
No matter your face, look, age or so, the world is wide enough to find your soulmate.

Well, just my two cents or experience..
« Last Edit: June 19, 2011, 03:55:51 AM by John2038 »

Offline twofires

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    • Artists Farm
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #8 on: June 19, 2011, 05:13:33 PM »
can always get a snazzy tattoo

Who was it wrote; Give any one species too much rope and they'll fuck it up?
-Roger Waters

Offline mecch

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  • Posts: 12,169
  • red pill? or blue pill?
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #9 on: June 19, 2011, 06:16:01 PM »

Just be you, focus on people you appreciate and feel attracted to, no matter their potential status, and it should/will work. You just have to be ready for that (dating), and willing to seduce.
No matter your face, look, age or so, the world is wide enough to find your soulmate.


I'm sure this is true.
“From each, according to his ability; to each, according to his need” 1875 K Marx

Offline Desertguy

  • Member
  • Posts: 183
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #10 on: June 19, 2011, 10:04:46 PM »
Being HIV + really sucks!  I tired the POZ sites for awhile, met a lady that was POZ but turned out like all the other dating sites I was trying before finding out I was POZ.
I met a nice Lady by chance, (who is NEG) wasn't looking had basicly given up looking when I found her.  After going out for a few dinners etc I told her I was HIV + I was totally shocked to find out that she like me enough to try & work thru this.  We have been together going on 21 months now & have plans on getting married and being together for the rest of our lives.
There are people out there for all us POZ people just might take awhile to find them.  My thought on the dating sites is they are basicly hook up sites whether your are Gay or Hetrosexual.
Hang in there it will happen, maybe you are just looking in the wrong places.
Take care
Dennis

Offline TakingAChance

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  • Posts: 42
Re: Finding a partner after POZ?
« Reply #11 on: June 19, 2011, 11:27:41 PM »
I was diagnosed back in 2009 I believe and ever since I have had issues with finding another mate to share my life with. (or even the occasional date) I guess my question is, How do you go by letting the other person know about your status prior to starting anything with that person....
Be up front. I know it is harder in OC for some reason. I use to live there. believe me there are plenty of positive people to date there as well. Join a Positive group of some type. Maybe someone can introduce you to one of their single friends. worth a try. Good Luck.
Fasten Your Seat Belts...It's going to be a Bumpy Ride!

 


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