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Author Topic: Have I need to bother to worry?  (Read 5459 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Have I need to bother to worry?
« on: September 09, 2006, 05:29:11 PM »
Hey.
I have a few things to clarify, so I can stop worrying hopefully and get on with my studies.
On holiday, I tripped in a toilet cubicle and my penis tip touched against the wall partition. And the day after I tripped again and it touched against the sink, below the rim. These aren't risks are they???

Also, when with my partner about 3 weeks ago, I performed cunnilingus on her. On the day I did it, she was due to start her period. Part way through the 3 minuteish act, she told me she might be menstruating and we immediately stopped and checked, and indeed, there was a little blood on the towel that she checked with. I'm not over worrying about this, as posts in THIS forum have helped me put it behind me. I just would like telling :)

Also in the same day, we performed frottage??? (genital to genital rubbbing?) whilst there was SOME wetness, but not overly wet, because we probably needed SOME wetness for it to be nice feeling. :)
I'm not THAT worried over this either, but would like clarification also.

The thing i am a bit worried over is the fact that, because that encounter was the first of our lifes, ( althogh we HAVE HAD NO SEX BEFORE OF ANY KIND, HAVE HAD NO PARTNER BEFORE, WE HAVE NEVER DONE DRUGS other than alocohol, neither has SHE had any peircings etc etc, {I had an ear piercing but this was done EXTREMELY PROFESSIONALLY at a well known place}), we decided to see if my penis would fit inside her, so for future reference we knew what we were up against. We couldnt manage it, because of our novice'ness' at it, it kept slipping out, we couldnt get the right place most of the time, and even when we thouht we did, it could have only gone in a MINISCULE amount anyway. We stopped because she did complain that it hurt a lot. So we gave up.
If we were to assume my partner was hiv+, would these activites described be of any risk at all, considering that we did not penetrate like you would in normal sex, like i said, it probably went not very far at all IF that?

Thankyou so much. Dave.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #1 on: September 09, 2006, 05:30:21 PM »
By the way, all acts that day were not protected.

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #2 on: September 09, 2006, 05:34:20 PM »
Read the "Welcome" thread before you post again. Make sure you follow and read all the links.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #3 on: September 09, 2006, 06:05:34 PM »
I have indeed read the welcome thread it was the first thing I did before posting.

I just don't feel it answered my post enough for me to stop the worries :S

If someone just put me on my merry way I will happily thank them and leave... :)

Dave

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #4 on: September 09, 2006, 06:59:32 PM »
The only thing which presented any risk for HIV in what you have written is the brief (and apparently unsuccessful) effort at intercourse. Technically if you inserted yourself at any point without a condom on you were putting yourself (and your partner) at risk.

Of course you say both of you are/were virgins so you are assuming HIV would not be an issue.

If you are reporting accurately on all counts then there was no risk. But if there is any doubt about her HIV status, and only you can decide about that, then you should get tested at 13 weeks past the most recent unprotected incident.

You can explore and experiment as much as you like. Just make sure that if you are having intercourse, no matter whom it is with, that you always wear a latex condom. No exceptions. Period. Only those partners who have decided to have a securely monogamous relationship and when both partners test negative for HIV together, can safely decide to dispense with using condoms.

None of your other concerns about various in anyway put you at risk for HIV transmission.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #5 on: September 10, 2006, 05:45:38 AM »
Okay thankyou. Of course I will think more about it next time.
Just how much of a risk is the 'attempted' intercourse though? I'm assuming its low, you can hardly call it intercourse really...

Offline RapidRod

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  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #6 on: September 10, 2006, 09:15:17 AM »
Zero, if you are both virgins.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #7 on: September 10, 2006, 05:13:16 PM »
Thanks for all your help guys.

But if say my partner was HIV+, how low would the risk be if we did such an activity?

Like I say, it was a failed attempt at intercourse, it kept slipping out and we couldnt even get it in the right place most of the time, and when we did get the right place (hardly ever), each time I tried to get it in it slipped again or wouldnt go past the edges of the vagina...I think its too big to go in to be honest...:S

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #8 on: September 10, 2006, 05:37:41 PM »
Lets not play guessing games. If you are that worried, go get tested 13 weeks post possible exposure.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #9 on: September 10, 2006, 05:45:34 PM »
I think my worries are finally going to be honest, she is definetly a virgin and she had never had any boyfriends prior to me, nor has she had any type of drugs etc etc.

All I want to know is the facts about my 'exposure' thats all guys.

I may consider testing just to put my mind at full rest even.

Offline RapidRod

  • Member
  • Posts: 15,288
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #10 on: September 10, 2006, 05:55:24 PM »
You were given the facts and the fact that you are both virgins and were not hemophiliacs receiving Factor 8 in the early 80's and neither parent has hiv during your birth then you and her were not at risk.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #11 on: September 10, 2006, 06:50:58 PM »
Okay. Thanks very much.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #12 on: October 27, 2006, 06:49:30 AM »
Heya sorry to bother you again.

I've pretty much got over everything that I originally posted a while back, just one thing bothers me still.

When I tripped and fell over in the public toilet that day when my penis tip touched against the sink, what are the risks for this? For example, if someone maybe had came onto the bit where my penis touched and it touched against this part? It could have only been for a second IF THAT. I don't think there was anything on there...but I'm just askin if there was something...

I know my risk is way smaller than anyone elses on the forum, and there is no reason for anyone to do such a sick act on a public sink...but yeh, just need some comforting words...:S If you could send me on my merry way again...

This has just recently come back to my mind (after completely forgettin about it after your earlier posts to me). Because I forgot about it because in your words 'ZERO' risk was pretty confrimable..., I gave blood because I've always wanted to do it. To my reckoning the time between giving blood and the 'exposure' was about 11 weeks. If I get the confirmation through the post that my donation was successful does this also mean that I am ok considering that they screen the blood for things like this?

Thanks so much for takin the time to comfort me. I know I'm being daft but I havent come across a forum like this before.

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
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  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #13 on: October 27, 2006, 08:01:03 AM »
02,

As you've been told before, touching your penis to public surfaces is not a risk for hiv infection.

If you cannot let go of these scientifically unfounded worries, then it's high time you got yourself into counseling. You don't have to let your anxieties run your life like this. Take charge of your life.

For future reference, if you ever actually have a real risk such as unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse, do NOT use giving blood as a means of hiv testing.

Now go get some counseling!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #14 on: October 27, 2006, 08:25:02 AM »
Thanks, I just dont know what I think you know...

I just think of something (however stupid) and then I think "oh god", and then I worry about THAT thing...

I'm probably more afraid of the abbreviation 'HIV' than I am of something like SAW...and I shouldn't be...I just worried a lot if for example I came into contact with some semen on that 'exposure'.

And I didn't intend to use the donor session as a HIV test, I started worrying again AFTER IT...

Do you know of any places I can go (I live in the UK.)???

Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #15 on: October 27, 2006, 09:02:39 AM »
02,

If by "Do you know of any places I can go" you mean for counseling, you can get a referral through your GP. Alternatively, you could ring the Samaritans and/or your local Citizen's Advice Bureau and ask if they have local listings for counselors. You could also look in your local phone book under Counselor or Therapists.

If you are asking where you can test despite the fact that you don't need to, then you need to go to the GUM clinic of your local hospital. (GUM = Genito-Urinary Medicine)

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #16 on: October 27, 2006, 09:06:20 AM »
Thankyou very much Ann and all the rest at this forum. You've been very good to me.

I'll most definetly go get some counsiling because you are right, it is putting a damper on things in my life.

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2006, 12:47:44 PM »
I've just told some close friends what they think. Most of them said go for it and quit your fears.

But...

One of them told me that I might get HIV if I did put my penis tip on a public surface that may be infected with a body fluid of some sort for only a second, maybe less...

Are they trying to scare me, because this kinda contridicts what you have said to me...

I'm really sorry about this but I was gettin close to forgetting about it and then someone springs this on me...:S


Offline Ann

  • Administrator
  • Member
  • Posts: 28,140
  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2006, 02:12:09 PM »
02,

Who are you going to believe, your mate who probably knows as much about hiv as you do, or someone who has been reading and studying and learning about hiv for the past five years?

As a someone who is hiv positive, I have a vested interest in knowing the science behind hiv transmission in order to make sure my virus stops with me.

You didn't have a risk. Not by ANY stretch of the imagination.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2006, 02:23:30 PM »
You of course I just got a doubt in my mind again.

I will try and put this behind me and get on with...failing my A-Levels... >:(

Cheers.

Offline Andy Velez

  • Global Moderator
  • Member
  • Posts: 25,422
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #20 on: October 27, 2006, 02:37:55 PM »
Just because your mind may continue to come up with worrisome what ifs will not change the HV-science-based reality that you were not in any way at risk for HIV in the various incidents you have asked about.

You do need to become better informed about transmission and testing and a very good place to do that is in taking the time to read the lessons on this site, a link to which you can find in the Welcome thread in this section.

Now quit all this frabber jabber about these non-risky events and get on with your life. No kidding.

Cheers,
Andy Velez

02MOUNTAIND

  • Guest
Re: Have I need to bother to worry?
« Reply #21 on: October 27, 2006, 03:12:43 PM »
Like I said, I didnt mean to cause all you lot any 'stress' or 'boredom' even by reading my messages it's just I worry quite a lot about things that could be wrong.

I'm definetly considering counsilling to stopping this or getting somewhere close.

Thanks ever so much.

 


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