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Author Topic: Could I be that "theoretical" case?  (Read 2163 times)

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Offline Jeffrey7

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Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« on: June 08, 2011, 12:47:35 PM »
Ok, here is the story, I'll try to keep it short....

About 8 weeks ago I met a girl, and she gave me oral sex. She told me the next night that she had a fever and body aches, and that on her way home the night before, that her lips were numb, minutes after performing the act on me. All of this went away (as far as she knows), and about 2 weeks later we hung out again, and she again gave me oral sex. 2 days later she called me freaking out, saying the same symptoms came back again (numb lips, fever, ect). She started seeing canker sores in her mouth, and we assumed it was herpes, although there were no cold sores anywhere, and I've certainly never had any on me anywhere. We then thought it might be an alergic reaction to my soap, seeing as how I use a particular kind she says she is allergic to, and her work-provided healthcare nurse line confirmed that as a possibility, and recommended we try it again after I switched soaps for a few days. We never did, but we 90% ruled that out for other reasons I'll explain in a minute. She (the nurse at Humana) also told her that no STD would cause a reaction that quickly. So, we ruled out an STD as being the cause, and I thought the case was closed.

However, shortly after the second encounter we had (about 6 weeks ago), she apparently started seeing small white spots in her mouth, but never told me about it. She went to an urgent care place 2 days ago, and the nurse or whatever confirmed the spots were in her mouth, and throat. She no longer has a fever, or any aches, or any numbness, just the spots. We are ruling out the alergic reaction thing now, seeing as how this has gone on for over a month.

The people at urgent care gave her an STD test, and we are waiting maybe another week to get the results back. When she asked about HIV, they told her that giving oral sex to a guy who has HIV+ would result in the other person getting it 50% of the time, and they generally didn't seem to have any decent answers for her when she asked them if her symptoms could be related to HIV infection. Needless to say, after googling, we are both terrified and convinced that it's HIV, and it's ruining our lives.

As for me, I have never had any symptoms of any STD, and two other girls have given me oral sex since her (one was about 6 weeks ago, the other 2 and 1 week ago), have not had any sort of reaction to the best of my knowledge. One girl is now my exclusive girlfriend, the other I haven't really heard from since. Me and the girl in question have ONLY had oral sex, and I was on the recieving end both times. I have read some of the posts here whilst searching the web, and I get the common response, but what else could possiblly cause the thrush-like/flu-like symptoms and white spots, other than an HIV transmission?  The more I read, the more I can't explain it any other way.

Thanks for your time.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #1 on: June 08, 2011, 04:27:53 PM »
HIV is not transmitted by oral sex.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #2 on: June 08, 2011, 05:45:19 PM »
No, you are not going to make history by becoming the first man to ever have become infected in the epidemic through a blowjob. It just ain't gonna happen.

You are worrying needlessly and there is no need for testing.

Discuss any symptons you are concerned about with your doctor. They have nothing to do with HIV.

Just always use condoms for vaginal and anal intercourse and you will be well protected against the sexual transmission of HIV. It really is that simple.
Andy Velez

Offline Jeffrey7

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #3 on: June 08, 2011, 05:50:37 PM »
Andy,

I'm not necessarily concerned about being infected by getting a blowjob. I'm not the one having the symptoms here, the girl who gave me the blowjob is, and that is what is alarming to me.

I have had unprotected sex a few times in my life (I'm 30), so I could have picked up HIV at any time, by any means, theoretically.

Does anything I said about the details/time-frame make sense to you as it relates to ARS? Did you read anything in that initial post and think "Yea, that's consistent with an HIV transmission."?

Thanks.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #4 on: June 08, 2011, 06:08:09 PM »
1. Have you ever had unprotected penetrative anal or vaginal sex?
2. Have you ever taken an HIV test?

Offline Jeffrey7

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #5 on: June 08, 2011, 06:15:38 PM »
I've never had anal sex. I've had unprotected vaginal sex with a few different women.

I've never been tested.

Online RapidRod

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #6 on: June 08, 2011, 06:20:07 PM »
You go get tested so that you know your status for the unprotected vaginal sex you've had and if she has had unprotected penetrative vaginal sex or anal sex she needs to test to know her status.

Offline Jeffrey7

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #7 on: June 08, 2011, 06:22:46 PM »
Well, she's going to know her status in a matter of days.

To be completely honest with you, if her tests come back with nothing, I probably won't get tested. I think I may just never have any type of sex with anyone other than myself, indefinitely.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #8 on: June 09, 2011, 07:24:50 AM »
The only HIV negative test result that matters is your own.

You need to stop having unprotected vaginal/anal intercourse. That's the only confirmed risk for the sexual transmission of HIV. Frankly your attitude seems a bit cavalier about that. Although the risk is lower for the man than the woman in a heterosexual situation, lower risk is not the same thing as no risk.

You should be using a condom everytime until you may find yourself in a securely monogamous situation in which both partners have tested negative together at 13 weeks after the last unprotected incident. Otherwise you are gambling with your life and HIV is nothing to guess about.
Andy Velez

Offline Jeffrey7

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #9 on: June 09, 2011, 11:54:54 AM »
Trust me, my attitude about sex has never been cavalier. I've refused intercourse (protected or otherwise) more often than just about any man alive. Women who have been in my life intimately have been baffled by my level of self-control when it comes to having intercourse, and I even lost one I really liked because she thought my lack of willingness to do so with her was odd.

There have been two situations in my life where I had unprotected vaginal intercourse with girls whose status I did not know for sure, and neither of them were one-night stands, or women who I feel were engaged in high-risk behavior. Both had young children, so both had been given mandatory blood tests in the fairly recent past due to the child births, and neither are the type to keep something like HIV a secret from a sexual partner. I can at least say that much for both of them.

I have let my guard down maybe twice, other than that, I have always been extremely careful. If this situation turns out to be the worst case scenario, I've already accepted it as a punishment. It doesn't matter that most men my age have had 5 times as many partners as I've had, and 99.9% of them are fine... for me to contract the illness after one or two mistakes over a brief 6 year sexual history, would just be par for the course in my life. If there is a God, I'm certainly not one of his favorites, so it wouldn't surprise me in the least. All I know for sure is that I have far too much to worry about as is, and one hell of a mountain to scale if I am ever to be happy someday, and if this is thrown into the mix, well...I've already begun writing my farewell letter.

Thanks for all the help/advice/info.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #10 on: June 09, 2011, 04:42:10 PM »
Getting infected is not about some kind of judgement from God. It's about doing something which is risky and getting infected.

Never mind you were careful about whom you chose to not use condoms with because you made some kind of evaluation. You should be using them everytime. No exceptions.

End of story.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #11 on: June 10, 2011, 05:21:39 AM »
Jeffrey,

You, sir, are an idiot. It's because of attitudes like yours that people living with hiv face so much stigma.

Getting a blowjob is absolutely not a risk for hiv infection. You got your dick sucked, now get over it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jeffrey7

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #12 on: June 10, 2011, 02:40:00 PM »
Ann,

I'm not sure what your beef is, but I am not saying that anybody who is poz was condemned or judged by God, only that in my case, another impossible hardship thrown in my face, would tend to fit the theme of my life. I honestly didn't mean to sound like I was speaking for anybody else but me. Those comments had nothing to do with HIV/AIDS in and of itself. I'm the antithesis of any sort of stereotype to the contrary that exists.

The one thing that I will say, is that you can't expect the general public to understand, and always say the right things when it comes to HIV/AIDS. Given the fact that you guys answer the same questions 50 times a day, I'm sure it gets old, but you have to forgive people for their limited ability to comprehend the gravity of every hardship or experience that a person can have. Just because I don't have the same inherent sensitivity to it that you do, doesn't make me an idiot.

As far the the point of this thread, she got her test results back and everything was negative. I'd hang around and try to figure out how I can best contribute to the cause, but I guess I'm not allowed to be here unless I'm in this section only, and there is no reason for me to be at this time. I wish you all the best, and I think you are all incredibly heroic.

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #13 on: June 10, 2011, 06:17:43 PM »
I still say that if you have had unprotected intercourse and never been tested since then, then you ought to do your own test.

However, if that is not the case then get on with your life and use condoms everytime for vaginal and anal intercourse.

Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Could I be that "theoretical" case?
« Reply #14 on: June 11, 2011, 08:34:27 AM »
Jeff,

If you really want to "contribute to the cause", then the best place to start is in your own backyard. Use the POZ Health Services Directory to find your local Aids Service Organisation (ASO) and find out if they need volunteers or donations.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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