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Author Topic: Top Ten Steven Wright Quotes  (Read 840 times)

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Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,959
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Top Ten Steven Wright Quotes
« on: July 20, 2010, 06:33:35 PM »
10. Imagine if birds were tickled by feathers.

9. Itís a small world, but I wouldnít want to have to paint it.

8. When I turned two I was really anxious, because Iíd doubled my age in a year. I thought, if this keeps up, by the time Iím six Iíll be ninety.

7. If itís a penny for your thoughts and you put in your two cents worth, then someone, somewhere is making a penny.

6. If youíre not part of the solution, then youíre part of the precipitate.

5. Right now Iím having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I have forgotten this before.

4. Everywhere is within walking distance if you have the time.

3. I intend to live forever. So far, so good.

2. Thereís a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

1. Whenever I think of the past, it brings back so many memories.

Bonus: I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldnít park anywhere near the place.


September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Just John

  • Member
  • Posts: 267
Re: Top Ten Steven Wright Quotes
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2010, 06:46:17 PM »
 ;D I can relate to No.5. ;D

Thanks for a much needed smile.

-John
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Offline phildinftlaudy

  • Member
  • Posts: 2,959
  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: Top Ten Steven Wright Quotes
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2011, 09:20:36 PM »
More Steven Wright jokes:

1. My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.

2. I have a decaffeinated coffee table. You'd never know it to look at it.

3. One time a cop pulled me over for running a stop sign. He said, "Didn't you see the stop sign?" I said, "Yeah, but I don't believe everything I read."

4. I bought some powdered water, but I don't know what to add to it.

5. Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

6. If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?

7. If you were going to shoot a mime, would you use a silencer?

8. After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?

9. I hate it when my foot falls asleep during the day because that means it's going to be up all night.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Jody

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,818
Re: Top Ten Steven Wright Quotes
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2011, 09:57:25 PM »
Thanks Phil, I'm a fan of Steven Wright as well, and when you see him perform with his very droll sense of humor, that quiet deep voiced monotone and no reaction from him, I can just see him now.  He was hysterical and his comedy has a little philosophy to it as well.

Thanks for posting them, I will send them on to my friend.

Jody ;D
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

 


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