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Author Topic: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?  (Read 1973 times)

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Offline jimmy_mart

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  • Posts: 3
made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« on: May 27, 2011, 08:38:30 AM »
Hi all - yesterday, I made a really stupid mistake and had sex with a woman who is an escort. The condom wound up breaking midway and we wound up having unprotected sex for about 5 minutes or so.

Not sure if this is relevant, but while, yes, she is an escort, it is not her full time job and is something she does on the side. She's selective with her clients, doesn't generally see clients who go to a lot of providers and only sees about 1 or 2 clients a week on average. She gets tested every few weeks and has had nothing come out positive thus far. As for me, I'm a circumcised male, age 26 and not very sexually active (had about 5 or 6 partners throughout my life). I'm freaking out right now because of this mistake which happened in the heat of the moment...

I know that I've put myself at risk and will need to get tested in a few months regardless, but what are the general chances that I've contracted something? I'm not very familiar with the risk of female-to-male infection based on these factors.
« Last Edit: May 27, 2011, 08:45:54 AM by jimmy_mart »

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2011, 09:15:13 AM »
Hi Jimmy,

OK. Let's look at the situation. Yes, the condom broke so you had unprotected intercourse for a brief period. And yes, that is a risk.

However, HIV is not an easy virus to transmit. It is also significantly more difficult to transmit from female to male than the other way around. It was also a single and relatively brief incident.

You do need to get tested. You can do that initially at 6 weeks. Assuming you test negative, which I think is likely, then it will be very likely that you will test negative again at 3 months for a final and conclusive result.

Should it ever happen again that a condom breaks, stop and put on another one rather than continuing without. I know in the heat of the moment it's easy for good sense to go out the window, but keep it in mind. And make sure you are using condoms that are fresh and that fit you properly.

All of that stuff about how many clients the woman has and any other info are totally irrelevant. I understand you are looking for hopeful signs but ultimately the only thing that matters is getting tested and getting a negative result.

The odds are in your favor that you will come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline jimmy_mart

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  • Posts: 3
Re: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2011, 11:11:04 AM »
Thanks for your response, Andy.

You're right about me looking for hopeful signs, and you've made me feel better about this. At 6 weeks, I'll go and get tested regardless (would the rapid HIV test be sufficient then - I'll most likely go to a clinic here and that's what they have).

As far as the amount of time for the unprotected vaginal intercourse, is the 5 minutes considered to be relatively brief? I mean, I didn't time it out, but it definitely wasn't an extended period of time - definitely somewhere between 5-10 minutes.

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
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Re: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2011, 11:21:36 AM »
Jimmy,

A rapid test is fine. If your result is negative - which I totally expect it will be - you'll have to confirm at the three month point, but it's highly unlikely to change.

Yes, 5-10 minutes is relatively brief. Hiv is a difficult virus to transmit from a woman to a man. I was with a negative man for eighteen months before I got my diagnosis. He remained negative despite the fact that pre-diagnosis, we never used condoms. We always used condoms after diagnosis.

That's not to say that you cannot be infected from just one time - but the odds are against it.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline jimmy_mart

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  • Posts: 3
Re: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« Reply #4 on: June 11, 2011, 07:12:41 PM »
Hi,

Thanks for your quick responses to my questions. I just have one more that has me a little bit worried.

I'm feeling a small bump below the skin in my left pelvic area, about the size of an M&M (maybe even a little smaller). It's hard to the touch, though it's not visible to the naked eye and doesn't hurt or feel tender at all (even when I touch it). And it's the only place on my body where this is happening (nothing in my neck, armpits or anywhere else that I can feel in my pelvic area--it's one small bump). I know that lymph nodes can be a symptom of HIV, but I'm not really sure what a swollen lymph node feels like or if it would be happening in more than this one spot (or even if this is a lymph node or just some other part of my body like a tendon or something). I also feel completely fine otherwise, with no fever, headache, cough, soreness or anything else going on. Am I just being paranoid out of nervousness? Of should I be worried?

Thanks guys.
« Last Edit: June 12, 2011, 03:09:32 AM by jimmy_mart »

Offline Ann

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  • It just is, OK?
    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: made a stupid mistake - what is my risk?
« Reply #5 on: June 12, 2011, 07:36:23 AM »
Jimmy,

Nothing you describe is indicative of hiv infection. If you're worried about this bump, show it to a doctor and in the meantime, keep your hands off it. If it is a lymph node, touching and prodding it all the time can actually make it swell.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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