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Author Topic: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......  (Read 962 times)

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Offline bocker3

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OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« on: March 14, 2014, 07:07:14 PM »
Yes, that is grandchild number 6 -- all from my one and only daughter.

OK -- some of you may remember that my daughter had a close call with #5 (Gabriel) a couple years ago.  He was very premature and it was touch and go.  She had a hard time and was in different hospital from the baby for a few days (no NICU where she delivered, so he was moved, but she couldn't be). 
Her doctor was clear that her body should not go through another pregnancy -- all of her children have been born via C-section and her insides are loaded with scar tissue.
So -- I am greeting this news with very mixed emotions.  I love all my grandkids, but I fear for what could happen here.  I don't want these kids to lose their mother and I certainly don't want to lose my only child.  So, I'm excited, scared and, frankly, pissed off -- all at the same time here.
Oh -- and she didn't even tell me -- I found out from a Facebook post!!! No doubt she is hoping that I will get over my initial "WTF moment" before we speak.  I suppose that is actually pretty smart of her -- though I'm sure that I would not have gone off on her.  I've always met each pregnancy with enthusiasm (even when I was worried over some of them).
Of course, what's done is done -- she is due in mid-Aug, which means she will probably deliver in July, she has had all of them early (hopefully no earlier).

Anyway -- needed to get this out before I speak with her.  My fear for her (and the baby's) safety is almost overwhelming me right now -- I simply can't shake this bad feeling.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline mitch777

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2014, 07:16:50 PM »
Well, congratulations in advance. I hope for everyone's sake that your bad feeling is just that.

hugs,
m.
31 years hiv+ (oct. 2013) with a curtsy.

Offline BT65

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2014, 06:27:44 AM »
Mike, I remember your daughter's last delivery and the trauma involved with that.  And I can also relate, having only one child, a daughter, myself. 

What I will say is, when my daughter makes a big decision, such as having another child, or whatever, I try to be as supportive as possible.  Luckily I have friends I can vent my frustration, concern, etc., to.  If I do it to her, I risk isolating.  Not that I'm perfect with this.  But it seems to work.

I understand your concern.  Vent here.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2014, 07:48:02 AM »
Yes, that is grandchild number 6 -- all from my one and only daughter.

I found out from a Facebook post!!! No doubt she is hoping that I will get over my initial "WTF moment" before we speak. 

Anyway -- needed to get this out before I speak with her.  My fear for her (and the baby's) safety is almost overwhelming me right now -- I simply can't shake this bad feeling.

Mike

First off, a sincere congratulations.  Your concern for the safety of the baby and your daughter is certainly valid based on some of the issues that occurred when Gabriel was born. 

All we can do is hope for the best and I have a hunch your daughter will do her part to make this a better 'birthing' experience.  She remembers the trauma and I would feel certain its nothing she would want to repeat. 

In a few years, get them to take a (Brady Bunch) style photo with YOU and Sid sharing the center block! 


Offline Ann

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2014, 09:30:03 AM »
((((((Mike)))))) I totally understand your trepidation and mixed emotions.

I'm wondering if total bed-rest in the final month(s) and a scheduled C-section might be in order. I hope everything goes well! I'm sure you'll keep us posted and you'll all be in my thoughts. Hang in there mate.
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline Jeff G

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2014, 10:00:57 AM »
You and your family are in my thoughts . I know the mixed emotions and how conflicted it can make you feel as I had a WTF moment with a pregnant family member recently but its not the same since its not my child ... but I did have a hard time being as enthusiastic as the others that were hearing the news for the first time on facebook including her mom .

 

Offline bocker3

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2014, 10:26:00 AM »
Thanks all -- the venting out was really needed.  While I know my daughter is capable of handling another child, she is a fantastic mother and nothing is more important to her than being a mother, I just get a sense that she is ignoring the risks that a pregnancy creates for HER BODY right now. 

Betty -- thanks -- I know that this decision is hers and I do risk isolating myself from her and her family if I am anything but enthusiastic here.  Though at some point AFTER the baby arrives, I may try and talk about how it might be more important that her 6 kids have a mother around vs. her having a 7th.  Though she has always said that 6 was a "good number of kids" to her. 

She will now have 3 of each (this one is a girl), so a Brady Bunch shot is likely to be a reality at some point.

Ann - a planned C-section will happen - except for number 1 (Jarrett), they have all been planned - though she's always gone earlier than even that.  Bed rest would be a good idea, but she has 5 children!  Her husband works 12 hour shifts AND she home-schools the kids, so even if a doctor ordered it, I know her stubborn nature and she would not listen.  (not sure WHERE she got that stubborn streak......)  She has no real close friends down there, as her life revolves around her family.  Her in-laws are the only family nearby -- and they lost her father-in-law to lung cancer ~6weeks ago.  Perhaps her mother-in-law can provide a little more assistance this time, though I'm not sure how she is doing since losing her husband.

At any rate -- thanks again to all, I will just be the loving dad and grandpa and hope for the best.  Nothing productive comes out projecting outcomes -- especially when I'm powerless over what happens.

Hugs,
Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline Theyer

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2014, 04:56:36 PM »
Understand all your feelings , I am just reading your post and I took an intake off breath and felt a twinge off anxiety , so however you look at it as you say there is nowt to be done by spending the time running worries . Good luck with it all and best wishes to your daughter.
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline WillyWump

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2014, 08:04:17 PM »
Congratulations Meemaw!

I know you are concerned and I certainly understand. We can only hope for the best, and send up prayers (if you do that)  ;)

Hugs
-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline BT65

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2014, 01:11:00 PM »
Betty -- thanks -- I know that this decision is hers and I do risk isolating myself from her and her family if I am anything but enthusiastic here.  Though at some point AFTER the baby arrives, I may try and talk about how it might be more important that her 6 kids have a mother around vs. her having a 7th.  Though she has always said that 6 was a "good number of kids" to her. 

Oh, totally wouldn't blame you for speaking with her after this baby.  I can't believe she's going to have 3 of each-WOW!  She must have a lot of patience.

We can only hope for the best, and send up prayers, (if you do that).

Hugs
-Will

It doesn't matter if he does it, if you do it, then do it! (no disrespect Mike).   Of course we're all hoping for the best outcome, which is not only a happy, healthy baby, but a healthy, happy mama.
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2014, 04:32:29 PM »


   I hope everything goes smoothly this time Mike.   How many more grandchildren does she plan on giving you?  She's got a basketball team going and only needs a few more for the bench.
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Online Andy Velez

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2014, 06:02:27 PM »
Mike, fingers crossed everyone gets through this waiting period happily and that your fertile daughter decides to call it quits after #6. I concur with Ann's suggestions.

Wonderful having all those little scamps in your life, but jeez louize.  Praying for everyone including you to be well,, buddy.
Andy Velez

Offline weasel

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #12 on: March 29, 2014, 05:31:15 PM »


      How  exciting Mike  :)

  I hope all goes well ,   SIX grand kids   !     Now that is cool !

                                            I'm sure all will be fine ,

                                                                                  Carl
" Live and let Live "

Offline bocker3

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Number 6 has arrived!!
« Reply #13 on: Yesterday at 10:28:06 PM »
She has arrived. 

Meet Hannah, born today.   5lbs 14 oz (big for my daughter).

(She doesn't look thrilled to be "outside")


I now have 3 grandsons and 3 granddaughters.

C'mon Wumpy, I'm pulling waaayyyy ahead of you.  Tell your boys to get cracking!!

M
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline tednlou2

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #14 on: Today at 01:21:26 AM »
Glad the delivery went well.  I'm sure the womb was much more cozy.  May Hannah have a great, happy, and fulfilled life. 

Offline zach

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #15 on: Today at 01:26:49 AM »
its a baby! such a beautiful little girl, welcome to the world hannah. congratulations mike

Offline anniebc

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #16 on: Today at 03:19:54 AM »
Happy birthday Hannah, such a beautiful wee girl.

Another 8 and you will have caught up with me Mike. It's good to be a grandparent.  ;D

Aroha to you all
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline BT65

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #17 on: Today at 04:36:35 AM »
Congrats Mike, what a precious beauty!  Jan's right, it is great to be a grandparent, which I know you're aware of.

Congrats again!

Betty
I've never killed anyone, but I frequently get satisfaction reading the obituary notices.-Clarence Darrow

Offline Jeff G

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #18 on: Today at 07:48:45 AM »
Congratulations Grandpa . I hope you catch up to Jan soon so you can start your own village .

Offline ImisstheOldTimes

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Re: OMG - number 6 is on the way.......
« Reply #19 on: Today at 08:32:20 AM »
Congrats! She looks to be a strong little girl from your pic, I trust mom is doing well also. How old is the oldest grandchild?

And Hannah is a beautiful name! :)
Life is a BANQUET, and most poor suckers are starving to death!

                             ~Auntie Mame

 


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