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Author Topic: Taking Time Away  (Read 11044 times)

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Online Joe K

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #50 on: May 30, 2011, 02:07:31 PM »
I think (or would hope) that Ted will stay around - while he may not have liked reading some of the responses to his post (and he acknowledged, I believe, that had it been put in off topic it may not have gotten the same response), I think the majority of those responding were trying to be helpful - even if it was in a tough love type of way.  Not all messages can be sugar coated (so is the nature of life).  I also think that ted has contributed in a positive way to many other threads in the forums and is, for the most part, open to feedback - even when it is uncomfortable to hear.  

The responses given were not (from what I could see) meant to harm him - but rather to assist him in moving to the next level.  Personally, I think that if no one gave a shit about him as a person, his thread would have been met with the sound of crickets.  

There is an old saying that a statement tends to hurt in proportion to its level of truth.  

at any rate, ted is entitled to procede as he wishes - whether he stay around, take a break, or move on completely.  

Edited to correct a dyslexic moment

Very well said!

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #51 on: May 30, 2011, 02:14:48 PM »
I do tend to side with those who speak their positions directly rather than passive aggressive shit stirrers, yes.


And for the record, I thoroughly support Phild's assessment.



You mean like say the passive aggressive swipe you just took at me?  Look I like Ted and I do feel like you guys took it too far in the other thread.  I didn't say a thing about it because I didn't want to get involved with it.  That matty would come into his "I don't particularly feel welcome here anymore" thread and essentially go completely off topic with his commentary irked me.  Especially considering the picture he linked which I'm sure was done to great comedic effect.  I just called him on it, and of course you backed him up on it because there's no way I could be, dare we say it, correct to call him on it.

Offline buginme2

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #52 on: May 30, 2011, 02:20:52 PM »
Gee I wonder what the OP was talking about? Being attacked? Naaaa. Not here.

And ps Im not being passive aggressive i am being sarcastic DB.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #53 on: May 30, 2011, 02:21:05 PM »
as Matty's statement was in reference to a portion  of the OP rather than the entire thing.
do you have any insights on which portion it was a reference to though? ;)

Well I tried to read the wall of text that is the OP. With only a modest degree of success, alas.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Online Joe K

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #54 on: May 30, 2011, 02:24:39 PM »
You mean like say the passive aggressive swipe you just took at me?  Look I like Ted and I do feel like you guys took it too far in the other thread.  I didn't say a thing about it because I didn't want to get involved with it.  That matty would come into his "I don't particularly feel welcome here anymore" thread and essentially go completely off topic with his commentary irked me.  Especially considering the picture he linked which I'm sure was done to great comedic effect.  I just called him on it, and of course you backed him up on it because there's no way I could be, dare we say it, correct to call him on it.

If you were not interested enough to initially get involved in this issue, why are you now?  If you feel that some of us went too far in the other thread, why don't you tell us why you feel that way?  Was it the content of what was said or the delivery?  I am trying to understand how you can portend to be the victim here, when the initial subject matter was of no interest to you.  Exactly what do you believe you are adding to this thread?

Online Joe K

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #55 on: May 30, 2011, 02:26:40 PM »
Gee I wonder what the OP was talking about? Being attacked? Naaaa. Not here.

And ps Im not being passive aggressive i am being sarcastic DB.

I would also ask you the same.  Exactly what are you contributing to this thread by these comments?

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #56 on: May 30, 2011, 02:26:54 PM »
You mean like say the passive aggressive swipe you just took at me?  Look I like Ted and I do feel like you guys took it too far in the other thread.  I didn't say a thing about it because I didn't want to get involved with it.  That matty would come into his "I don't particularly feel welcome here anymore" thread and essentially go completely off topic with his commentary irked me.  Especially considering the picture he linked which I'm sure was done to great comedic effect.  I just called him on it, and of course you backed him up on it because there's no way I could be, dare we say it, correct to call him on it.

The only way you could take that statement as a swipe against you is if you actually see yourself in it.  

"Taking it too far", in my opinion, is completely closing yourself off to hearing what was actually being said to you in one thread and instead turning it into a platform to pit one group of posters against another.  And if that's someone's response, I too "don't give a fuck" about listening to it.

Yes, the fact that you "didn't say a thing about it because you didn't want to get involved with it" speaks volumes - and brings into focus what most irks me here.  And that is that, once again, you are hiding behind a supposedly noble position when your real intention was to sieze an opportunity to slap at Matty.  You didn't have anything to say when you could have actually...ya know...helped Teddy.  Instead, you saw an opportunity to get a jab in and took it.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #57 on: May 30, 2011, 02:28:25 PM »
do you have any insights on which portion it was a reference to though? ;)


Rather OBVIOUSLY the portion he mentioned...the portion alluding to him and his coining of the phrase "coffin dodger".

-thunter34

Oh, yeah...I almost forgot:    ;)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #58 on: May 30, 2011, 02:32:20 PM »
If you were not interested enough to initially get involved in this issue, why are you now?  If you feel that some of us went too far in the other thread, why don't you tell us why you feel that way?  Was it the content of what was said or the delivery?  I am trying to understand how you can portend to be the victim here, when the initial subject matter was of no interest to you.  Exactly what do you believe you are adding to this thread?
I have to say, as someone who did post in the original thread by the OP, that Joe and thunter's responses are both spot on.  It's like someone not voting in an election and then wanting to criticize the candidate that gets elected.  If there really was a concern about the OP, it would have been voiced during his original thread.   Covers are pulled all the way back on this one.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline buginme2

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #59 on: May 30, 2011, 02:37:14 PM »
I would also ask you the same.  Exactly what are you contributing to this thread by these comments?

I was responding to the comment referencing my education history and reading comprehension test scores.  What are you contributing?

I posted on this thread because I agree with his original post.   I didnt know we had to ask your permission to post.  I wasnt aware of that rule.  I guess I should try to hone my reading comprehension skills (now that was passive aggressive) DB'S

Online bocker3

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #60 on: May 30, 2011, 03:18:45 PM »
The only way you could take that statement as a swipe against you is if you actually see yourself in it.  

"Taking it too far", in my opinion, is completely closing yourself off to hearing what was actually being said to you in one thread and instead turning it into a platform to pit one group of posters against another.  And if that's someone's response, I too "don't give a fuck" about listening to it.

Yes, the fact that you "didn't say a thing about it because you didn't want to get involved with it" speaks volumes - and brings into focus what most irks me here.  And that is that, once again, you are hiding behind a supposedly noble position when your real intention was to sieze an opportunity to slap at Matty.  You didn't have anything to say when you could have actually...ya know...helped Teddy.  Instead, you saw an opportunity to get a jab in and took it.

Tim,

don't waste you time here.  She is going to do what she does best.  Sit back and wait for an opportunity to stir the pot -- spout her passive-aggressive crap and then scream victim.  Soon we will here the poor thing saying how I don't like her -- It is done ad nauseum.  Arguing with her just gives her what she wants.

As for the OP --

Ted -- I do hope you stay around.  I am a relative newbie too and I can tell you that you see to be having a hard time adjusting -- at least that is the way it looks from here.  I really do think everyone in the other thread was coming at you from a positive place.  Focus on the message and not the delivery -- writing on the internet can easily lead to misinterpreted motives because you lack any body language or instant feedback.

Hugs,

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline leatherman

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #61 on: May 30, 2011, 03:20:49 PM »
Well I tried to read the wall of text that is the OP. With only a modest degree of success, alas.
....
Indeed I didn't just use the term, I believe I coined it.
....
With regard to the rest of the OP, allow me to say:

Rather OBVIOUSLY the portion he mentioned...the portion alluding to him and his coining of the phrase "coffin dodger".
no it's really not that obvious. Matty refers, not to his "coffin dodger" comment, but to the entire rest of the OP (which at the beginning, he implies that he did not completely read) with the "don't give a fuck" graphic.  So which part did he read, which part did he not read, which part does he not give a fuck about - and how can anyone agree with such an ambiguous statement?

If there really was a concern about the OP, it would have been voiced during his original thread.
not always. as has been stated in this thread, many people are often leery of jumping into the fray around here knowing the venom that gets spewed. So often times it takes a while for someone to gather their courage, fortitude and wit before jumping in. For example, I stayed out of this until thunter said he agreed with Matty's graphic, yet Matty states he didn't read all the post, and never explains exactly what part he was being so dismissive of (which of course, leads to the question of why even post if you don't give a fuck, but that's another matter). Since I really don't see how anyone can jump onto the bandwagon when we really don't know what parts Matty read in the OP, I thought it was an appropriate time to post rather than earlier on.


Personally, I already responded to this thread by writing Ted a PM when he first posted this (basically telling him what others have told me - just ignore your detractors. Gosh I wish that ignore function would come back soon LOL). While I too have felt that Ted has needlessly worried at times, his other thread was just an-after-the-fact story and he was no longer worried. I remember the many years I was a germ-ophobe and how just a cough in a grocery store could send me back home for days. Why to this day seeing a white spot on my tongue sends waves of anxiety through me until I can determine that it is not thrush. (Thrush is basically what killed my first partner, and I have severe esophageal damage from the bouts of thrush I've suffered through, so thrush is still pretty scary for me).

Since this is a "support site", I don't think it's my place, not actually knowing anyone here in person or their full situation, to criticize what they should and should not be afraid of concerning HIV. Or even how long they should be scared.

For myself I've spent the first 15 yrs knowing about this virus below the AIDS defining 200 cd4 count worried that at any time "something" might get me. I've only spent 5 yrs barely above that demarcation, and sometimes think I shouldn't be so cavalier about going in public where all those germs are. (My 12% cd4 ratio is not really the sign of a good immune system, even if I have been lucky to have stayed out of the hospital for 14 yrs)

Instead all I, or any of us really can do, is to tell someone the med side effects are not that terrible, that someone's tcells are probably too high for thrush, give them some reference links, suggest counseling etc etc. I think that people who don't want to be supportive, who don't give a fuck about the issue, or who don't want to give full answers and explanations, probably should just not get involved in a thread and find some other topic that they are more concerned with or some other problem a member has that they would be better suited to helping out with.

it's really just following the old adage, if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say anything.
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #62 on: May 30, 2011, 04:22:29 PM »
If you were not interested enough to initially get involved in this issue, why are you now?  If you feel that some of us went too far in the other thread, why don't you tell us why you feel that way?  Was it the content of what was said or the delivery?  I am trying to understand how you can portend to be the victim here, when the initial subject matter was of no interest to you.  Exactly what do you believe you are adding to this thread?

I didn't jump in initially because at the time you hadn't succeeded in yet again making someone uninterested in posting in these forums with your knee jerk reaction to their posts.  By you, I mean the lot of you who have apparently taken lessons in being socially obtuse.

You went too far.  Pointing out exactly how you went too far seems a bit overly critical don't you think?  You dogged a poster for posting, because his post wasn't deemed important enough to you.

The content of what was said had an element of truth to it, Ted tends to be a bit of a hypochondriac, but yes if you must know it was the way in which you said it.  Your delivery was rationalized away as necessary because it was the truth.  Meanwhile it was completely unnecessary to be so incredibly offensive to someone who frankly has never even so much as spoken up to you.

I'm not the victim here and I never claimed to be, you boys are the ones who have decided that I play the martyr on every issue when in reality I try not to become involved in the every day petty squabbles.  When I do a knock down drag out flame war seems to be the result.  This does not interest me and this is not why I come here.  Ted is a friend who I have corresponded with in my now year and a half of posting here and I don't like the way he's being treated by any of you.  Without your own extensive post histories I feel the moderators would have strongly rebuked the lot of you.

What I added to this thread was that Matty's comment wasn't needed since it was in no way relevant to the poster or original discussion.  It was merely an excuse to get a last dig in.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #63 on: May 30, 2011, 04:56:36 PM »
I've reread every post I made, and I still stand behind them.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline Miss Philicia

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #64 on: May 30, 2011, 04:59:55 PM »
That's hot.
"Iíve slept with enough men to know that Iím not gay"

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #65 on: May 30, 2011, 05:01:15 PM »
I have to say, as someone who did post in the original thread by the OP, that Joe and thunter's responses are both spot on.  It's like someone not voting in an election and then wanting to criticize the candidate that gets elected.  If there really was a concern about the OP, it would have been voiced during his original thread.   Covers are pulled all the way back on this one.

I respectfully disagree with you Phil.  This thread was also started by Teddy.  It's a continuation of sorts really, and most, if not all, the same players are still participating.  Teddy has obviously taken some of what was said in the other thread personally, he says so here.  Joe specifically called out the portion of his post, and even apologized for it.  To be honest I think it was the comments following Joe's that Ted took personally, most likely because he himself became jaded to all advice at that point.  Then in post #17 in that thread you say the following: It was a fucking peppermint on his tongue - since when is that a question related to health?  Unless of course he chokes on the peppermint or has an allergic fucking reaction to it.  I think his motivation should be very clear to everyone why he felt it necessary to make this thread, not just the same select.  

I've been here for 6 years now, and I take swipes at no one.  But I do know when I see someone wronged.  

In my opinion it went a bit too far.

  
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #66 on: May 30, 2011, 05:12:13 PM »
I respectfully disagree with you Phil.  This thread was also started by Teddy.  It's a continuation of sorts really, and most, if not all, the same players are still participating.  Teddy has obviously taken some of what was said in the other thread personally, he says so here.  Joe specifically called out the portion of his post, and even apologized for it.  To be honest I think it was the comments following Joe's that Ted took personally, most likely because he himself became jaded to all advice at that point.  Then in post #17 in that thread you say the following: It was a fucking peppermint on his tongue - since when is that a question related to health?  Unless of course he chokes on the peppermint or has an allergic fucking reaction to it.  I think his motivation should be very clear to everyone why he felt it necessary to make this thread, not just the same select.  

I've been here for 6 years now, and I take swipes at no one.  But I do know when I see someone wronged.  

In my opinion it went a bit too far.

  
In regards to my comment, which was in reference to other comments being made - I stand by it --- i.e. it was a fucking peppermint on his tongue - since when is that a question related to health --- how is it????  unless of course the person chokes on it or is allergic to it --- once again, I stand by that....and, as I said previously, and ted acknowledged, if the thread was in off topic - discussing the humor he and his partner found  in him getting anxious about thrush when in fact it was a peppermint - he probably would have been joined in that humor  --- but he posted it in Living With and accompanied it with pics ---- my comment, which BTW is in response to one of the previous posts and was not a direct response to ted's initial post still stands.

My other comments regarding people overall commenting not as a way to harm Ted, but to provide some straightforward feedback and advice, as well as my comments that ted has many posts where he contributes to these forums in a positive manner also stand ----- let's not forget about those posts - lest, I become selective about posts others make that have been off color, insensitive, off point, irrelevant, straightforward, etc. etc.   -

Oh, almost forgot my smiley face  :)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #67 on: May 30, 2011, 05:27:18 PM »



C'mon buddy, you know I respect you and your take.   I just don't agree with it.


Can you and I can both agree though that delivery is everything?

Also, if a good guy like Teddy says he felt slighted and has hardly ever said so before, thus feeling the need to make a thread like this, I suspect it could be valid.

Just my opinion.

 :) :) (two smileys)
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #68 on: May 30, 2011, 05:28:31 PM »


C'mon buddy, you know I respect you and your take.   I just don't agree with it.


Can you and I can both agree though that delivery is everything?

Also, if a good guy like Teddy says he felt slighted and has hardly ever said so before, thus feeling the need to make a thread like this, I suspect it could be valid.

Just my opinion.

 :) :) (two smileys)
I see your two smileys  :) :)
and raise you two smileys :) :)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #69 on: May 30, 2011, 05:29:30 PM »
I don't think anyone has asserted that Ted's health concerns were real.  No one.

It's the manner in which members treat each other that is at issue.  There is, all too often,  a coarseness to the discourse here that offends a lot of people.  And that is an issue that has been raised here time and again.

Some people have a very thick skin and it doesn't affect them,  others are more sensitive to it.  Are we to just dismiss the concerns of the the latter group?

And I don't buy the whole "tough love" canard.  It's just an excuse to rationalize bad behaviour.
« Last Edit: May 30, 2011, 05:34:13 PM by bmancanfly »
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #70 on: May 30, 2011, 05:32:11 PM »


Personally, I already responded to this thread by writing Ted a PM when he first posted this (basically telling him what others have told me - just ignore your detractors.

You stir up more shit behind the scene with your poisonous PM's than anyone ever has saying something publicly. It's common knowledge.  

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #71 on: May 30, 2011, 05:35:46 PM »
And I don't buy the whole "tough love" canard.  It's just an excuse to rationalize bad behaviour.


Well, that's odd.  It's practically the whole foundation upon which substance abuse treatment is based.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #72 on: May 30, 2011, 05:35:51 PM »
I see your two smileys  :) :)
and raise you two smileys :) :)


I win


I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #73 on: May 30, 2011, 05:37:20 PM »
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #74 on: May 30, 2011, 05:41:21 PM »

Well, that's odd.  It's practically the whole foundation upon which substance abuse treatment is based.



Tough love in this situation would have looked like this;

"Ted I think your concerns are frivolous.  And I'm not going to respond to your posts anymore until you address this issue in therapy."

Not like this;

"get a fucking grip"

See the difference.  Still tough and loving but not disrespectful or disparaging.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #75 on: May 30, 2011, 05:45:54 PM »
Tough love in this situation would have looked like this;

"Ted I think your concerns are frivolous.  And I'm not going to respond to your posts anymore until you address this issue in therapy."

Not like this;

"get a fucking grip"

See the difference.  Still tough and loving but not disrespectful or disparaging.


Ah, but it doesn't matter what you think it should "look like", does it?  Your statement was more generally applied.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline leatherman

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #76 on: May 30, 2011, 05:50:54 PM »
You stir up more shit behind the scene with your poisonous PM's than anyone ever has saying something publicly. It's common knowledge.  
your paranoia is showing ROFLMAO
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #77 on: May 30, 2011, 05:53:39 PM »
I think I have it now!  Tough love looks like this:

Maybe you should get a life.   ;D ;D ;D

You're pathetic.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #78 on: May 30, 2011, 05:54:38 PM »
Ah, but it doesn't matter what you think it should "look like", does it?  Your statement was more generally applied.



Interesting,  that's at least the second time in this thread alone that you have tried to diminish someones opinion who disagreed with you,  rather the just disagree with it.

Kind of goes to the heart of what I'm talking about.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline Dachshund

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #79 on: May 30, 2011, 05:56:49 PM »
your paranoia is showing ROFLMAO

Nope, your PM's keep getting forwarded. ;) :D ;D

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #80 on: May 30, 2011, 06:03:12 PM »
Interesting,  that's at least the second time in this thread alone that you have tried to diminish someones opinion who disagreed with you,  rather the just disagree with it.

Kind of goes to the heart of what I'm talking about.

No, buttercup.  I said that it didn't matter what you thought it should look like because you statement was more generally applied.

Interesting.   (Not really)

You read into my post what you wanted to read.

Kinda goes to the heart of what I have been talking about.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #81 on: May 30, 2011, 06:11:57 PM »
No, buttercup.  I said that it didn't matter what you thought it should look like because you statement was more generally applied.

Interesting.   (Not really)

You read into my post what you wanted to read.

Kinda goes to the heart of what I have been talking about.


Your continued condescension toward anyone who disagrees with you says more than anything I could say.
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline buginme2

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #82 on: May 30, 2011, 06:24:02 PM »
Your continued condescension toward anyone who disagrees with you says more than anything I could say.

Agreed!

Besides what does substance abuse treatment have to do with the cost of tea in China? Is Teddy abusing mints?

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #83 on: May 30, 2011, 06:31:20 PM »
Your continued condescension toward anyone who disagrees with you says more than anything I could say.

Very good.  Then we shouldn't be hearing anything further from you.

AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #84 on: May 30, 2011, 06:40:17 PM »
I'm not going any further with this nonsense with you folks.  This is leading nowhere productively, and my sense is that all you folks are interesting in is a pile on to provoke a fight.

I don't see how that is in anyone's interest.

I've said my peace to Ted, and here.  I'm through being provoked.

Fight amongst yourselves.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline buginme2

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #85 on: May 30, 2011, 06:41:55 PM »
Its entertaining watching bullies defend themselves when people begin to stand up for themselves.  And really, thats just what many on here are. Bully's. No different than insecure children on the playground.

Offline anniebc

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #86 on: May 30, 2011, 06:53:40 PM »
You stir up more shit behind the scene with your poisonous PM's than anyone ever has saying something publicly. It's common knowledge.  

Quoted because it was worth quoting.

Aroha
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Online Joe K

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #87 on: May 30, 2011, 07:01:53 PM »
Tough love in this situation would have looked like this;

"Ted I think your concerns are frivolous.  And I'm not going to respond to your posts anymore until you address this issue in therapy."

Not like this;

"get a fucking grip"

See the difference.  Still tough and loving but not disrespectful or disparaging.


Since I apologized for that uncalled for comment, exactly what is the point you are trying to make.  That I said something inappropriate? Admitted, check. That I recognized that it was insensitive and therefore apologized.  Admitted, done and check.  So what exactly is your problem?  I am trying to understand what purpose you wish to accomplish and how that will help Ted.

Offline denb45

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #88 on: May 30, 2011, 07:09:17 PM »
 ::) can we all just get along  ;D what's the point of all of this  :D
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline anniebc

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #89 on: May 30, 2011, 07:09:50 PM »
Since I apologized for that uncalled for comment, exactly what is the point you are trying to make.  That I said something inappropriate? Admitted, check. That I recognized that it was insensitive and therefore apologized.  Admitted, done and check.  So what exactly is your problem?  I am trying to understand what purpose you wish to accomplish and how that will help Ted.

Joe just put him to one side, you did the right thing, let him argue with someone else, all he is interested in is bringing up stuff he obviously hasn't read properly...or he's getting PM's that are keeping him going.

Aroha
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-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline bmancanfly

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #90 on: May 30, 2011, 07:11:09 PM »
Yes Joe you have apologized for it (that's why I didn't use the quote function) it wasn't directed at you.

However, there are other people here still trying to defend it as an appropriate message even though you have basically retracted it.  To your credit.

It was in no way meant to be disparaging toward you.

If you go back and re-read my message I was just trying to demonstrate a comparison between "tough love" approaches.  Nothing more
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."

 Bertrand Russell

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #91 on: May 30, 2011, 07:13:40 PM »
There are three people in this thread who are so full of garbage, and soooooo not sincere, that it is actually endearing.  Sure, you feel for Teddypoo, whatever.  I'm sure that you've provided him with support whenever he's had one of his moments.  Passive aggressive pot stirring and flaming is all that I see written by these three heads.

The response given to this thread by some people makes one wish that the forums had stayed down a few more hours.  

Oh, and for fuck's sakes, please!  Quit this crap about bullying.  You are not children.  Grow up.

Joe, you shouldn't have to explain yourself.  These people are only trying to provoke a flame-war.  A war that is instigated behind the scenes by the PMs sent by a couple of members.  Yes, we have seen them.  Talk about lack of sincerity, maturity, and honesty.  These are the very people who are taking this place down.

Teddyboo, I apologize for breaking into your mini-swan song.  Let the dance continue.

"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Online bocker3

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #92 on: May 30, 2011, 07:17:46 PM »
Oh, and for fuck's sakes, please!  Quit this crap about bullying.  You are not children.  Grow up.

Quoted because it can't be said enough -- folks on here throw out the "bully" card way too much here.  It is used incorrectly and, in the ends, demeans all the kids who have been and continue to ACTUALLY be bullied.

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline buginme2

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #93 on: May 30, 2011, 07:35:08 PM »
-- folks on here throw out the "bully" card way too much here.  It is used incorrectly and, in the ends, demeans all the kids who have been and continue to ACTUALLY be bullied.

Mike

People use the term "passive aggressive" on here incorrectly ALL THE TIME.  I figured I could throw in a bullying comment. 

Offline AlanBama

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #94 on: May 30, 2011, 07:37:28 PM »
Ted honey, I feel like you are just "over-thinking" everything too much.   Chill for awhile, take a break, and come back when you are ready.  We'll be here.

I would just ask you to listen with an open mind and and open heart when you read the replies to your posts.  We (or most of us in the forums) just have each others best interest in mind, that's all.

You're gonna be fine.

Hugs, Alan
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline thunter34

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #95 on: May 30, 2011, 07:44:22 PM »
Ted honey, I feel like you are just "over-thinking" everything too much.   Chill for awhile, take a break, and come back when you are ready.  We'll be here.

I would just ask you to listen with an open mind and and open heart when you read the replies to your posts.  We (or most of us in the forums) just have each others best interest in mind, that's all.

You're gonna be fine.

Hugs, Alan

If I had the authority, I would close this thread right here.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline komnaes

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #96 on: May 30, 2011, 07:57:14 PM »
People use the term "passive aggressive" on here incorrectly ALL THE TIME.  I figured I could throw in a bullying comment. 

Oh yeah, false victimhood could work too..
Aug 07 Diagnosed
Oct 07 CD4=446(19%) Feb 08 CD4=421(19%)
Jun 08 CD4=325(22%) Jul 08 CD4=301(18%)
Sep 08 CD4=257/VL=75,000 Oct 08 CD4=347(16%)
Dec 08 CD4=270(16%)
Jan 09 CD4=246(13%)/VL=10,000
Feb 09 CD4=233(15%)/VL=13,000
Started meds Sustiva/Epzicom
May 09 CD4=333(24%)/VL=650
Aug 09 CD4=346(24%)/VL=UD
Nov 09 CD4=437(26%)/VL=UD
Feb 10 CD4=471(31%)/VL=UD
June 10 CD4=517 (28%)/VL=UD
Sept 10 CD4=687 (31%)/VL=UD
Jan 11 CD4=557 (30%)/VL=UD
April 11 CD4=569 (32%)/VL=UD
Switched to Epizcom, Reyataz and Norvir
(Interrupted for 2 months with only Epizcom & Reyataz)
July 11 CD=520 (28%)/VL=UD
Oct 11 CD=771 (31%)/VL=UD(<30)
April 12 CD=609 (28%)/VL=UD(<20)
Aug 12 CD=657 (29%)/VL=UD(<20)
Dec 12 CD=532 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
May 13 CD=567 (31%)/VL=UD(<20)
Jan 14 CD=521 (21%)/VL=UD(<50)

Online Jeff G

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #97 on: May 30, 2011, 07:59:59 PM »
I have noticed that people only feel bullied after they realize they are losing an argument they willingly entered into . 

Offline phildinftlaudy

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #98 on: May 30, 2011, 08:23:29 PM »
I cant wait to see what vitriole this thread unleashes.  Let it begin.
And you actually have the nerve to call anyone a bully?  who tried to turn this thread into a flamewar to begin with?  All one has to do is reference the comment YOU made above --- it speaks for itself (talk about the pot calling the kettle black) ---- get a better frame of reference before YOU start referring to others as bullies.  Maybe you don't meet the definition of a bully - but an instigator --- me thinks so.
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline David Evans

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Re: Taking Time Away
« Reply #99 on: May 30, 2011, 08:33:10 PM »
The swipes are getting personal and old resentments flare anew. This thread doesn't seem to be doing anywhere positive so I'm locking it down.

-David
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