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Author Topic: Had protected anal but still scared...  (Read 8661 times)

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Offline platinum502

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Had protected anal but still scared...
« on: May 26, 2011, 05:34:28 PM »
I had protected anal sex with a guy I met at a bar ( I recieved) and it was great, but now im scared im still at risk for infection. I know this will sound stupid but he was black and I read that 46% of black guys have HIV so this makes me even more worried even though the ethnicity makes no difference.. ( Im not racist by any means, I love all men!!) Any thought?? Should I be nervous like this?? Im in a committed relationship with someone I love very much, I messed up this one time and hope I dont pay for it forever... He used a condom and as far as I could tell it didnt break.. am I just feeling guilty??? What should I do??

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #1 on: May 26, 2011, 05:40:16 PM »
That number is total bullshit. The HIV prevalence rate amongst black men in the US is far less than 46%

You had protected sex and thus you were not at risk of HIV infection. It doesn't matter what colour your partner is.

HIV is not interested in who you are, it cares only about what you do. And you didn't do anything risky, HIV wise.

You do not need to be tested as a result of this encounter. And let us have no more of this talk about race, ok?

MtD

Offline platinum502

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #2 on: May 26, 2011, 06:16:56 PM »
I understand your racial concern and didnt mean it negativley at all. I read that figure on wikipedia, im sorry. It seemed way high I know... I felt bad for even asking this with other people on here who have real problems. I just wanted to see what everyone thought..

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #3 on: May 26, 2011, 06:24:24 PM »
You never had a risk.

Offline platinum502

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #4 on: May 26, 2011, 07:02:40 PM »
probably true but its hard being a bottom when you dont know the person.. you have no control like making sure they keep the condom on or breakage..

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #5 on: May 26, 2011, 08:55:04 PM »
Nothing you did put you at risk.

This is really about your guilt over having strayed. We can't help you with that. If you can't deal with that satisfactorily then get some professional help where you can talk things out.

We can't do that in this setting. All we can tell you is that based on what you have reported you were not at risk for HIV. Period.
Andy Velez

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #6 on: May 26, 2011, 09:08:43 PM »
I understand your racial concern and didnt mean it negativley at all. I read that figure on wikipedia, im sorry. It seemed way high I know... I felt bad for even asking this with other people on here who have real problems. I just wanted to see what everyone thought..

Fuck wikipedia. It's the encyclopedia that anyone can edit. It is notoriously unreliable.

MtD

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #7 on: May 26, 2011, 09:11:53 PM »
And it is not WHO you had sex with that matters. It's what you did. And you had protected intercourse so you are worrying needlessly.
Andy Velez

Offline Ann

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2011, 09:20:27 AM »
Plat,

I'd just like to emphasise what Matty and Andy told you. It's not WHO you do, it's HOW you do it. Make sure you get those three letters in the correct order when you're considering your risk level. Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

I'd also like to mention something else. I hope you and your partner have either continued to use condoms in your relationship, OR have both tested together for hiv and all the other, more easily transmitted infections before you stopped using condoms. I can't tell you how many times we see people discovering they're positive after being in a committed relationship where they never tested before dispensing with the condoms. Many people never have a single symptom of hiv infection until they end up in hospital very ill. It the two of you have never tested together, perhaps it's time you did. It's what responsible adults do.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

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"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline platinum502

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Should I worry or not??
« Reply #9 on: June 06, 2011, 11:47:10 AM »
Im very new to sex and it seems always nervous after I have it... He goes..

I had protected anal sex with a guy I met at a bar ( I recieved) and it was great, but now im scared im still at risk for infection because after he came he took off his condom in the bathroom and came back to the bed where he began fingering me while I played with myself to finish. Am I worrying when I shouldnt? I guess I was just worried because I noticed after that I was bleeding a little and some semen could have been on his fingers from taking off the condom. Any thought?? Should I be nervous like this?? As I said he used a condom and as far as I could tell it didnt break..  What should I do?? Relax??

I did take a full STD test 2 weeks after and all came back Neg.. I know for HIV I need 3 months, but my doctor said we could do this as a baseline...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I worry or not??
« Reply #10 on: June 06, 2011, 01:14:03 PM »
   Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not. It helps us to help you when you keep all your thoughts or questions in one thread and it helps other readers to follow the discussion. Additional threads will be merged.

   If you cannot find your thread, click on the "Show own posts" link in the left-hand column of any forum page, under your name.

Offline platinum502

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Re: Should I worry or not??
« Reply #11 on: June 06, 2011, 01:17:26 PM »
this is a seperate event with the same person.. sorry for the confusion.

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Should I worry or not??
« Reply #12 on: June 06, 2011, 01:32:16 PM »
Please do not start a new thread every time you have another question or thought - regardless if you think your questions are related to each other or not.

Offline platinum502

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #13 on: June 06, 2011, 01:48:45 PM »
Im very new to sex and it seems always nervous after I have it... He goes..

I had protected anal sex with a guy, but now im scared im still at risk for infection because after he came he took off his condom in the bathroom and came back to the bed where he began fingering me while I played with myself to finish. Am I worrying when I shouldnt? I guess I was just worried because I noticed after that I was bleeding a little and some semen could have been on his fingers from taking off the condom. Any thought?? Should I be nervous like this?? As I said he used a condom and as far as I could tell it didnt break..  What should I do?? Relax??

I did take a full STD test 2 weeks after and all came back Neg.. I know for HIV I need 3 months, but my doctor said we could do this as a baseline...

Offline RapidRod

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #14 on: June 06, 2011, 01:52:48 PM »
Again you have never had an exposure.
HIV is transmitted by;
Unprotected penetrative vaginal or anal sex
Sharing works with other IV drug abusers
Mother to child

Offline platinum502

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #15 on: June 06, 2011, 01:57:55 PM »
So there is no need for further HIV testing unless I have unprotected sex?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #16 on: June 06, 2011, 04:07:14 PM »
THat's right. Unprotected vaginal or anal intercourse specifically.

I've merged your threads here. In the future please follow our rule and keep all entries in this same thread. Thanks for your cooperation.
« Last Edit: June 06, 2011, 04:10:41 PM by Andy Velez »
Andy Velez

Offline platinum502

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #17 on: June 18, 2011, 01:26:25 PM »
I want to thank everyone for their input, but I guess im still concerned..  Not to go into too much detail but he had me lay on the bed on my stomach.. so what im getting at is i dont know if he left the condom on or not the whole time, but i suppose I would have felt it if he did take it off.. im such a worry wart and ive always been like this... has anyone hear or having doggystyle or sex from behind and the person taking the condom off during sex and putting it back on?? am I being rediculus?? thanks everyone for your answers!

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #18 on: June 18, 2011, 03:25:11 PM »
Once you start getting into "what ifs" you can worry endlessly and all to no good purpose.

Nothing  you reported originally suggests that you had any risk. If you decide to get tested it will be strictly for your peace of mind and not because you actually had a risk. Testing for you and getting a negative result is a slam dunk as far as I can see. Strictly up to you if you feel you need that negative result to let this go.

More to the point are your anxiety feelings about having sex. As someone who seems to be new to active sexuality, it can be both an exciting and scarey time. Just make sure condoms are used everytime for vaginal/anal intercourse and you will be well protected.
Andy Velez

Offline platinum502

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  • Posts: 9
Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #19 on: June 21, 2011, 02:40:29 PM »
I woke up today with a sore throat but now its mostly gone.. Could this be a symptom? It has been a little over a month since this encounter.. Maybe I should stop reading things online, they might just make me worry for no need...

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: Had protected anal but still scared...
« Reply #20 on: June 21, 2011, 03:09:02 PM »
plat,

Yes, you should stop reading hiv stuff on the internet. Why would your sore throat have anything to do with hiv when you did not have a risk for hiv?

If you read the Welcome Thread before posting like you're supposed to, you will have read the following posting guideline:

Quote

Anyone who continues to post excessively, questioning a conclusive negative result or no-risk situation, will be subject to a four week Time Out (a temporary ban from the Forums). If you continue to post excessively after one Time Out, you may be given a second Time Out which will last eight weeks. There is no third Time Out - it is a permanent ban. The purpose of a Time Out is to encourage you to seek the face-to-face help we cannot provide on this forum.


Please consider yourself warned!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

 


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