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Author Topic: FUCKING SHIT!!  (Read 13194 times)

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Offline woodshere

  • Member
  • Posts: 1,477
  • ain't no shame in my game
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #50 on: May 26, 2011, 11:59:04 AM »
Oh I am so very sorry to hear this!  Thinking of you as always.
"Let us give pubicity to HV/AIDS and not hide it..." "One of the things destroying people with AIDS is the stigma we attach to it."   Nelson Mandela

Online Miss Philicia

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  • celebrity poster, faker & poser
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #51 on: May 26, 2011, 12:12:12 PM »
ugh Carlita, I didn't want to hear that (for your sake). "thinking of you" is an understatement at this moment. How about "pissed off"?
"I’ve slept with enough men to know that I’m not gay"

Offline Dachshund

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #52 on: May 26, 2011, 12:59:01 PM »
Carl, I'm overwhelmed by your courage. Thinking of you.

Offline GSOgymrat

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #53 on: May 26, 2011, 02:37:29 PM »
What terrible news. I hate you have to deal with this.

Offline Joe K

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #54 on: May 26, 2011, 02:40:22 PM »
Carl, what horrible news and my thoughts are with you and Norm.

Offline Buckmark

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    • Henry's Home Page
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #55 on: May 26, 2011, 03:19:44 PM »
Carl,

I am angry to hear this news, and so sorry that you have to go through all of this.  We're all thinking of you.

Henry

"Life in Lubbock, Texas, taught me two things:
     One is that God loves you and you're going to burn in hell.
     The other is that sex is the most awful, filthy thing on earth and you should save it for someone you love."
- Butch Hancock, Musician, The Flatlanders

Offline MarcoPoz

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #56 on: May 26, 2011, 03:51:30 PM »
Capt. Carl,

Thank you for keeping us informed.  Hang in there and focus on your options.  You've been through tough shit before and still showed support here for others.  You're a good man, Carl.  Hang tough.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #57 on: May 26, 2011, 03:54:21 PM »
Carl -
I am continuing to send positive energy your way -
And thanking you for taking the time to talk with me the other day -
You truly are the epitome of what it means to be a great human being.

I will be keeping you and Norm in my thoughts -

-Phil
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline hope_for_a_cure

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #58 on: May 26, 2011, 04:02:58 PM »
Carl,

I am just getting in from being away most of the day and reading the update here is heart wrenching.  Extremely sorry to hear that you are dealing with this. 

Offline Matty the Damned

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #59 on: May 26, 2011, 04:09:33 PM »
Carl,

Well isn't this just shit on toast?  >:(

I love  you babe. :-*

MtD

Offline Ann

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    • Num is sum qui mentiar tibi?
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #60 on: May 26, 2011, 04:16:43 PM »
(((((Carl)))))

Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline skeebo1969

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #61 on: May 26, 2011, 04:25:12 PM »
(((((Carl)))))

Ditto to that.

Cap,  I have the utmost respect for you.  While I pray for solutions, I do know the dire situation you are in.  I do hope, once again, you get to go home soon to Norm, the dogs, and the things you cherish most.

With saddness in my heart,

Thomas
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

Offline sharkdiver

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #62 on: May 26, 2011, 04:58:07 PM »
Sending my love to you, Norm and the dogs.

You are wonderful and courageous man.

love you,
Sharkie

Offline PeteNYNJ

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    • Dance for Me, Puppets
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #63 on: May 26, 2011, 05:01:33 PM »
Sending my love to you, Norm and the dogs.

You are wonderful and courageous man.


I just want to echo what Sharkie wrote - your courage in the face of this is amazing.  Please continue to  post, vent, etc.  Big Hug!

Offline WillyWump

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #64 on: May 26, 2011, 06:01:12 PM »
My thoughts are with you Carl.

-Will
POZ since '08

Last Labs-
6/3/14 CD4- 736, UD 34%
6/25/13 CD4- 1036, UD,
2/4/13, CD4 - 489, UD, 28%

Current Meds: Prezista/Epzicom/ Norvir
.

Offline bocker3

  • Member
  • Posts: 3,386
  • You gotta enjoy life......
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #65 on: May 26, 2011, 06:10:39 PM »
Carl,

So sorry to hear this news.  Sending positive thoughts to you.

You and Norm are in my thoughts.

Big Hugs.......

Mike
Atripla - Started 12/05
Reyataz/Norvir - Added 6/06
Labs - Pre-Meds
Sep05 T=350/25% VL98,559
Nov05 288/18%  47,564
Current Labs
May2013 691/31% <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #66 on: May 26, 2011, 06:47:33 PM »
FUCK,FUCK,FUCK..why do bad things happen to good guys while the arseholes of this world , and believe me I can think of a couple right now, get to walk around as if they were God and owned the Fucking world.

Love you and thinking of you, but can't trust myself to call right now, hugs to you and Norm.

Aroha always
Jan :'(

-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline AlanBama

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #67 on: May 26, 2011, 07:22:05 PM »
Sending you much love and positive energy....

keeping you in my prayers.

Hugs, Alan  :'(
"Remember my sentimental friend that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others." - The Wizard of Oz

Offline Rev. Moon

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #68 on: May 26, 2011, 09:13:30 PM »
 :'(

This is awful, Carl.

Sending you many hugs and much love.
"I have tried hard--but life is difficult, and I am a very useless person. I can hardly be said to have an independent existence. I was just a screw or a cog in the great machine I called life, and when I dropped out of it I found I was of no use anywhere else."

Offline CaptCarl

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #69 on: May 26, 2011, 09:26:30 PM »
Thanks for your outpouring of support everyone. It definitely does help to sustain me at this time. When the bad shit happens we frquently don't know what to say, and sometimes don't say anything fearing that our words will be ineffective in consoling out loved ones. Let me assure you, even when someone says "I am at a loss for words" That is enough. The feelings behind them come through. Never be afraid that your words are inadequate, they are not.

THe oncologists came by today and offered a partial ray of hope in the form of chemoembolization. They inject radioactive pellet things into the main artery that feeds the tumor, thus killing the tumor. It won't cure the cancer, but it will kill the tumor, thus buying some extra time. How much time is anbodies guess. They will also be biopsying the largest nodule in my lungs to get a better handle on that. They feel that there is a chance it could be a fungal infection

1st one who makes a "Fungus AmonGus" comment gets capped ;)

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline thunter34

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  • His name is Carl.
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #70 on: May 26, 2011, 09:28:35 PM »
1st one who makes a "Fungus AmonGus" comment gets capped ;)

CaptCarl


Phooey.
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #71 on: May 26, 2011, 10:32:56 PM »
I've been trying all night to come up with a sentimental fungus poem but so far no luck   :)

Carl - from South Florida to New Mexico - know that you are in my thoughts

I will try to give you a call tomorrow - I think my last call to you actually benefitted me more than it did you  --- that's just the type of person you are!

Now, back to the fungus poem writing.....

Oh - and love ya!!
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline anniebc

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #72 on: May 26, 2011, 11:18:56 PM »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

Aroha always
Jan :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline Jeff G

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  • How am I doing Beren ?
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #73 on: May 26, 2011, 11:33:31 PM »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

Aroha always
Jan :-*

Looks like a mummy with a hard-on .

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #74 on: May 27, 2011, 12:02:38 AM »
No too good with the poetry..but I did find this.



It's a Micharrzae fungus...google it if you don't believe me.. ;)

I think I had that type of fungus in me before --- ::)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline anniebc

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  • AM member since 2003
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #75 on: May 27, 2011, 12:08:42 AM »
I think I had that type of fungus in me before --- ::)

I'm not touching this one.. (post that is)... :D

Aroha
 :-*
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
Never knock on deaths door..ring the bell and run..he really hates that.

Offline phildinftlaudy

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  • sweet Ann what you think babe...
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #76 on: May 27, 2011, 12:13:11 AM »
I'm not touching this one.. (post that is)... :D

That's okay --- that means more for me!!!  ;)
September 13, 2008 - diagnosed +
Labs:
Date    CD4    %   VL     Date  CD4  %   VL
10/08  636    35  510   9/09 473  38 2900  12/4/09 Atripla
12/09  540    30    60   
12/10  740    41  <48   
8/11    667    36  <20  
03/12  1,041  42  <20
05/12  1,241  47  <20
08/12   780    37  <20
11/12   549    35  <20
02/12  1,102  42  <20
11/12   549    35  <20

Offline Theyer

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #77 on: May 27, 2011, 06:53:49 AM »
Take good care Carl,,who would off thought that we,maybe I should say I,is wishing a fungal infection on you,mad ain,t it ? Hope you get a break to go with Norm to see the dogs in the mountains soon.
love
mhtv
"If we can find the money to kill people, we can find the money to help people ."  Tony Benn

Offline +/-

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #78 on: May 27, 2011, 07:34:12 AM »
Hope all turns for the better with you very soon. Take care of yourself.

Offline brenner

  • Member
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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #79 on: May 27, 2011, 07:57:13 AM »
mushroom head....mmmmm...mushrooms.   

sorry, shouldnt be stoned and online....carl...thinking of you.  big big squeeze.
Feb 23. 2011  poz diagnosed
Feb 28.  cd4 257, vl 262400, %21
Mar 14.  start Atripla
May 18.  cd4 639, vl 690, %33
Aug 19.  cd4 583, vl 60, %38
Nov 18.  cd4 450, vl UD, %38
2012
Feb.19   cd4 649, vl UD, %35
Jun 08.  cd4 524, vl UD, %34
Sep 16.  cd4 567, vl UD, %35
Dec 02.  cd4 592, vl UD, %35
2013
Mar 10.  cd4 688, vl UD, %35

Offline Jody

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #80 on: May 27, 2011, 09:18:23 AM »
Dear Carl, sorry for all the trials and tribulations you and Norm have endured.  Keep your spirits up (easier said than done I know) and we will all hope for the very best for you.

Hugs from NY, Jody
"Wake up to find out that you are the eyes of the world".
 "Try to discover that you are the song that the morning brings."

Grateful Dead

Offline Assurbanipal

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  • Taking a forums break, still see PM's
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #81 on: May 27, 2011, 03:50:44 PM »
Wishing you strength.... and time -- time with those you love and those who love you --time with Norm, time with the dogs, time at home...
5/06 VL 1M+, CD4 22, 5% , pneumonia, thrush -- O2 support 2 months, 6/06 +Kaletra/Truvada
9/06 VL 3959 CD4 297 13.5% 12/06 VL <400 CD4 350 15.2% +Pravachol
2007 VL<400, 70, 50 CD4 408-729 16.0% -19.7%
2008 VL UD CD4 468 - 538 16.7% - 24.6% Osteoporosis 11/08 doubled Pravachol, +Calcium/D
02/09 VL 100 CD4 616 23.7% 03/09 VL 130 5/09 VL 100 CD4 540 28.4% +Actonel (osteoporosis) 7/09 VL 130
8/09  new regimen Isentress/Epzicom 9/09 VL UD CD4 621 32.7% 11/09 VL UD CD4 607 26.4% swap Isentress for Prezista/Norvir 12/09 (liver and muscle issues) VL 50
2010 VL UD CD4 573-680 26.1% - 30.9% 12/10 VL 20
2011 VL UD-20 CD4 568-673 24.7%-30.6%
2012 VL UD swap Prezista/Norvir for Reyataz drop statin CD4 768-828 26.7%-30.7%

Offline camille07

  • Member
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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #82 on: May 27, 2011, 06:12:57 PM »
Carl- 

I'm so sorry to read this.  Just awful~

You're in my prayers. 

Hugs, 

Camms

Offline Hellraiser

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #83 on: May 28, 2011, 02:05:26 AM »
Did you show ol' Enid the pictar of my enormous horsey-cock I sent you for Christmans last year?

On a more serious note. The docs left a few minutes ago. They had the results of the biopsy. It is the liver cancer after all. It's too big to remove by surgery. Oncologist to be arriving later today to discuss "options" whatever they might be.

Carl

Sorry to hear this carl, you had a liver transplant, right?  Is this common?  I'm really unfamiliar with your history.

Offline spacebarsux

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  • Survival of the Fittest
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #84 on: May 28, 2011, 03:05:41 AM »
Best wishes to you during this difficult time.
Infected-  2005 or early 2006; Diagnosed- Jan 28th, 2011; Feb '11- CD4 754 @34%, VL- 39K; July '11- CD4 907@26%,  VL-81K; Feb '12- CD4 713 @31%, VL- 41K, Nov '12- CD4- 827@31%

Offline 47DegreesNorth

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #85 on: May 28, 2011, 03:32:20 AM »
I'm sending positive thoughts your way from Seattle, I'm so sorry to hear about these troubles Carl :(

Offline Snowangel

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #86 on: May 28, 2011, 08:19:59 AM »
Capt-
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through.  My thoughts are with you and Norm. 
With love and peace,
Snow
Of all the things you wear, your expression is the most important

The heaviest thing you can carry is a grudge..

One thing you can give and still keep...is your word.

One thing you can't recycle is wasted time.

Offline Cliff

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #87 on: May 28, 2011, 11:38:31 AM »
Carl, this is terrible.   :'(  I hate you're going through this. 

Offline OneTampa

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #88 on: May 28, 2011, 01:20:39 PM »
My thoughts are with you.
"He is my oldest child. The shy and retiring one over there with the Haitian headdress serving pescaíto frito."

Offline red_Dragon888

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #89 on: May 28, 2011, 01:57:00 PM »
Mine's are too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=I3ba3lnFHik

“Neither look forward where there is doubt nor backward where there is regret. Look inward and ask not if there is anything o

Offline thunter34

  • Member
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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #90 on: May 28, 2011, 09:06:22 PM »
You weren't available for chatting earlier, so I drew you a picture!






(Not much of an artist, I know.)
AIDS isn't for sissies.

Offline denb45

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  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #91 on: May 28, 2011, 11:34:28 PM »
Carl  ??? SHIT  :'(  I hope that bob & my visit @  the Hosp. helped bring you some comfort the other day, I'm @ a loss for words, as I read this thread , stay strong my man, tell norm to call us, and you don't EVER give up ok, do that for me please, Bob & I love you very much....I'm @ a loss for words right now....I can hardley type any of thissss.../
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Online leatherman

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Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #92 on: May 28, 2011, 11:45:58 PM »
thinking of you, Carl. :-*
best wishes to you, and Norm, through this terrible time. :-*
leatherman (aka mIkIE)


chart from 1992-2013; updated 2/09/13  Reyataz/Norvir/Truvada

Offline CaptCarl

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  • Located in the Palinsville subdivision, JesusLand
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #93 on: May 29, 2011, 12:02:40 AM »
Hello Everyone. Sorry I couldn't update any earlier, but things went to hell pretty quickly today. I felt pretty decent when I got up actually, but around noon or so, it was all over but the crying. Chest pains, and a fever that went up to 104.0F conspired to really fuck my shit up. It was successful too. Let me start at the beginning, so I don't jump around too much.

Yesterday, I was supposed to have had a procedure to kill the tumor in my liver. They unhooked the blood thinner at 6:00 am  in prep for this. There was also a no food or water fast for 12 hours before my my appt. time at noon. I had puked up lunch, and didn't even try dinner, so that I went considerably longer without food than water. They also had to infuse me with three bags of frozen plasma so that my blood would be thick enough to do the procedure safely.

I wound up waiting until 5:00 pm for my procedure... No fucking food for 32 hours, no water for close to 20 hours. When Norm questioned the stu pid fucking cow masquerading as a nurse, she told him that my INR was 7.5, and left the room. So Norm tried to get it out of her what the fuck thta was supposed to mean, but she ignored him. So went to the head of nursing and complained quite vocally. I woke uo about this time and saw that it was 4:15 in the afternoon. I melted down. It's a good thing that I cant breathe deeply or they would have have heard me clear up to Santa Fe. I called my ID doc on her personal phone and explained the situation in no uncertain terms what was going on. I told her that I would rip out my IVs and leave if I wasn't being worked on by 5:30. And I meant it. Norm kinda freaked and got the head nurse and brought her to my room. And I told her the same thing. Plus I gave her the backstory about my previous dealings with IR, which I will explain.

The first time I got diagnosed with cancer, the kind folks at IR would make appointments for my treatment, and then not treat me. I would be there for several hours past my sheduled appointment time, with IV tubes hooked up, and they would come in remove everything, and send me home. Never an explanation, never an apology. Ever once. This resulted in my going NINE FUCKING MONTHS WITHOUT TREATMENT!!! And whe they finally did, they did alcohol ablation, wherein they injected ethanol alcohol into my tumor. The pain was stunning, and Norm could hear me in the waiting room. The doc stopped after only 5 mg ( I was supposed to get 30 mg) and basically called me a wimp for not tolerating the pain. He had Norm come in and help me get dressed and sent us home. Before walking out of the room , he looked down at me then at Norm and told him that I wasn't going to make it, and to get ready for it. Then walked out.

So when I realized t how long i was waiting yesterday, I freaked because of seeing this as a continuation of an earlier pattern. The head nurse was quite angry about all of it, and dressed my nurse down pretty good, plus wanting to know why I hadn't been put on an IV drip of hydrating fluids. The cow bleated and mooed in protest, but it fell on deaf ears. Head Nurse then went to the phone and started making calls. The chief oncologist came, I told him the story. He got me down there within 10 minutes, telling me to share the entire story with the IR staff, which I did. They were very good to me there, and took the time to explain that the INR level had to be at least a 2.0 to perform the procedure safely. I was back in my room by 6:45.

The oncologist who has been in charge of my treatment came to see me this morning. She asked me when the plasma transfusion was started and finished. I told her that it was started at about 10:45 am and finished around 1:15. She got a look of pure rage, because she had left orders for it to be started at 7:00 am, so that the levels were high enough when my appointment time came round. I also told her that the bags would run out, and not be changed for up to 40 minutes apart. Everything I went through yesterday, HAPPENED BECAUSE THAT STUPID FUCKING TWAT OF A NURSE COULDN'T BE BOTHERED TO FOLLOW DOCTORS ORDERS

I believe that she has been terminated over the incident.

That's how my day went yesterday, todays 104 fevers were a walk through the tulips by comparison.

CaptCarl
The only thing I can do straight is shoot..

Offline denb45

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  • Posts: 5,051
  • "1987 Classic Old School POZ+"
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #94 on: May 29, 2011, 12:27:31 AM »
I fucking HATE UNMH, they were like this w/ bob during his heart-attack & triple by-pass-surgery back in 2002 and again in 2005, I see that fucking place hasn't changed much at all, Carl, I still have no words, forgive me, it's hard for me right now, I do understand your hospital delmila tho, bob & I send you out the very best, call me, if you need too, you know where to reach us if you need ANYTHING.......ok  :-*
"it's so nice to be insane, cause no-one ask you to explain" Helen Reddy cc 1974

Offline Hellraiser

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  • Posts: 4,136
  • Semi-misanthropic
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #95 on: May 29, 2011, 04:08:50 AM »
This is absolutely awful.  There's nothing quite as frustrating as not having all the information about your own healthcare and being unable to interject when necessary to speed things along.  I'm so sorry all this is happening to you on top of everything else.

Offline Cliff

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  • Posts: 2,645
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #96 on: May 29, 2011, 04:28:04 AM »
That's terrible.  I'm glad you continued to speak up for yourself and that there was some resolution (termination).  Hang in there, mister.

Offline skeebo1969

  • Member
  • Posts: 5,705
Re: FUCKING SHIT!!
« Reply #97 on: May 29, 2011, 09:31:37 AM »


   Cap,  It really irks me that on top of everything  you're being subjected to this kind of treatment.   I think that nurse found out quickly she messed up with the wrong dude, to bad...NOT.

   Hang in there tough guy.

     
I despise the song Love is in the Air, you should too.

 


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