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Author Topic: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!  (Read 3427 times)

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Offline strggling

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acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« on: May 13, 2011, 11:33:37 PM »
I just want to thank everyone for making this space available to people like me going through the hardest period in their life to date.

I was exposed to STI on 3/4/11. During a 2 week break from monogamous partner had drinks out and went to a sex worker. I gave unprotected oral to her on top, then protected intercourse with her on top. I didn't look at the time but everything felt normal, no notice of breakage of condom.

A couple days after my partner An I work things out and had unprotected sex that day. couple days later I notice small pimple like bumps on shaft of penis. Also I notice a wisdom tooth is breaking through gum. so its a week after exposure I go to sex clinic, diagnosed Molluscum Contagism an told nothing to worry about, superficial really. I also feel exhausted at this point, just stress I thought. I get a full STI screening done.

Unprotected sex occurred again with my partner this week as assured must be cold, but symptoms start this week: red sore throat, dry coughing, white tongue, swollen glands, headache, fatigue and most striking the nausea and noises from stomach that are constant and keep me up at night.

A week has passed and I get test results back neg, I explain symptoms but as risk assessed ensured not to worry. Needless to say I start using condoms with partner now as worried. Symptoms persist and continue for weeks on end. My partner also gets symptoms after a couple weeks as I described above, the nausea is particularly bad for my partner. Both our throats clear up first and dry cough, mine lasted three weeks. But nausea persists in both and fatigue and muscle aches in my legs so bad I've taken time off work.

I had GP blood work done and guess what, I'm a healthy specimen and no other virus detected? I will return to ask again about "Epstein-Barr virus", I tested + to G'Fever as I had that in teenage years. I'm now 31 years still making mistakes.

My partner suffers depression and I have not told her my fears yet to save her the mental torture that is waiting for the 6week ELISA test result. I have lost 5kg in this time and not holding up mentally but will reveal all to her once something tangible is on the table to help ease the unknowing of the result.

What connection does MC have to HIV and can my risk of transmission be increased both orally and penetration because of it's presence and the wisdom tooth thing?

Also is me still feeling ill a good or bad sign for ELISA accuracy at 6 week testing? My partner is currently still unwell  :(

It will be 46 days post exposure when I test. Still have to wait a couple weeks for a result and petrified!

I have been completely and utterly honest with this post.

Offline Ann

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2011, 08:31:47 AM »
strg,

MC, unlike hiv, is transmitted through simple skin-to-skin contact. As you were told, it's really nothing to worry about and is easily treated. MC has no direct connection with hiv. None.

Nothing you did was a risk for hiv infection. It's unclear whether the oral sex included you getting a blowjob or you going down on the woman, but either way, you didn't have a risk. Getting a blowjob is not a risk and neither is going down on a woman, regardless of whether or not you had a wisdom tooth coming through.

Whatever illness you and your partner may have, it certainly isn't hiv from the experience with the sex worker. You did not have a risk for hiv infection with the sex worker.

I have to wonder though, did you and your partner ever test for hiv or any of the more easily transmitted STIs before doing without the condoms - like you're supposed to? It's not just sex workers who get hiv you know. I'm poz and I've never engaged in the sex trade in my life. I'm just like the "girl next door". ANYONE can end up hiv poz if they have unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse with people of unknown hiv status.

Here's what you need to know in order to remain hiv negative:

You need to be using condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, every time, no exceptions until such time as you are in a securely monogamous relationship where you have both tested for ALL sexually transmitted infections together.

To agree to have unprotected intercourse is to consent to the possibility of being infected with an STI. Sex without a condom lasts only a matter of minutes, but hiv is forever.

Have a look through the condom and lube links in my signature line so you can use condoms with confidence.

ALTHOUGH YOU DO NOT NEED TO TEST OVER THE SEX-WORKER INCIDENT, anyone who is sexually active should be having a full sexual health care check-up, including but not limited to hiv testing, at least once a year and more often if unprotected intercourse occurs.

If you aren't already having regular, routine check-ups, now is the time to start. As long as you make sure condoms are being used for intercourse, you can fully expect your routine hiv tests to return with negative results.

Don't forget to always get checked for all the other sexually transmitted infections as well, because they are MUCH easier to transmit than hiv.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline strggling

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #2 on: May 15, 2011, 01:09:48 AM »
Thanks Ann for re confirming my risk factors, it really helps to ease some of the fears/panic I have about the incident.

To clarify it was me going down on the girl, she used a condom on me with intercourse, but like I mentioned I never looked at the condom at withdrawal, straight afterward or during the event whatsoever.

I have read that it is much lower risk of infection for the person penetrating, does high viral loads in a person alter this?

I dont mean to draw out or undermine my risk assessment from you, just wanting to educate myself and those around me about risk factor behaviours. I don't want to have someone making easily avoidable mistakes, that can throw your life/mental health into turmoil.

I've already told my close friends to not have unprotected sex with anyone until the status of your partner and yourself is known, and to be careful to check the condom properly before going ahead.

As I still can not let go of my stress over this I will be going ahead with the test at 6 week mark, for my own mental wellbeing.

Thanks for the support..... peace.

strggling

Offline Ann

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #3 on: May 15, 2011, 08:17:41 AM »
strg,

To clarify back at you, you didn't have a risk for hiv infection. A high viral load or whatever other details you can think of do not change that fact.

You can test at the six week point if you like, but don't be surprised by your negative result.

Use condoms for anal or vaginal intercourse, correctly and consistently, and you will avoid hiv infection. It really is that simple!!!

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline strggling

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #4 on: May 15, 2011, 09:17:40 AM »
I'm very much looking forward to that negative teat result to put my crazy brain at rest.

It was due to my partners symptoms following mine that I started net searching and it just all fed my worst fears. So much info about oral infection with sores/cuts for entry points and it all starts sounding like a big risk your taking with oral when your body feeling so severely sick and symptoms ticking ARS boxes..

So again thanks for bringing those crazy thoughts of mine a lil more into perspective, i can back off on the diazapam now : ) I am going to see a psychologist to try iron out the trauma I been going through.

A scare like this is life changing for me.

Respect an thanks x

strggling



Offline Ann

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #5 on: May 15, 2011, 09:39:19 AM »
strg,

If it helps, here is a detailed explanation of why going down on a woman is not a risk for hiv infection.

Hiv transmission doesn't stand a chance of happening via female genitals to mouth - there are just too many obstacles on the oral route.

The first obstacle is the mouth itself. The mouth is a veritable fortress, standing against all sorts of pathogens we come into contact with every minute of our lives. It's a very hostile environment and saliva has been shown to contain over a dozen different proteins and enzymes that damage hiv.

Hiv is a very fragile virus - literally. Its outer surface doesn't take kindly to changes in its preferred environment; slight changes in temperature, moisture content and pH levels all damage the outer surface. Importantly, it needs this outer surface to be intact before it can latch onto a few, very specific cell types and infect. 

Which leads to the second obstacle. Hiv can only latch onto certain types of cells, cells which are not found in abundance in the mouth.

The third obstacle to transmission this way is having hiv present in the first place. The female secretion where hiv has been shown to be present is the cervicovaginal fluid. This fluid is actually a thick mucus that covers and protects the cervix.

The fluid a woman produces when sexually excited comes from the Bartholin's glands, located on either side of the vaginal opening. I have yet to discover one shred of evidence (and believe me, I've looked) that shows this lubricating fluid to have any more hiv present than other bodily secretions such as saliva, sweat or tears. Saliva, sweat and tears are NOT infectious fluids.

So there you have it. Once the results of the serodiscordant studies started rolling in, what we know about hiv transmission on the cellular level was validated. The only people who were getting infected were those who had unprotected anal or vaginal intercourse. Period. One of the three studies went on for ten years and involved hundreds of couples. That's a lot of nookie.

Just because you got a head cold or mild flu or whatever and passed it on to your partner soon after your NO RISK situation doesn't automatically make it hiv.

You have not had a risk. End of story.

Ann
Condoms are a girl's best friend

Condom and Lube Info  



"...health will finally be seen not as a blessing to be wished for, but as a human right to be fought for." Kofi Annan

Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. Mignon McLaughlin

HIV is certainly character-building. It's made me see all of the shallow things we cling to, like ego and vanity. Of course, I'd rather have a few more T-cells and a little less character. Randy Shilts

Offline strggling

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  • Posts: 7
Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #6 on: May 18, 2011, 10:25:03 PM »
Thanks Ann,

Your detailed response really puts the oral transmission reality into perspective... doesn't happen.

So I cant help now think it's possible something must have went wrong with the condom during intercourse. This hasn't been just some old flu, It's been very much severe but odd symptoms and drawn out. I still have thick saliva like whitish phlegm, white tongue and chronic fatigue/weakness, especially legs big time. My partner has the stomach issues backing off but fatigued and fed up with the persistence of this illness.

I now have had molluscum contagiosum recur, I have only been with my long term partner and using protection since my possible exposure. The MS was treated and healed without any trace, but now have appeared again. I'm worried it's happened due to my immune system compromised by HIV infection?

So today I go to get the antibody ELISA test. Here in Aus melb the practice at this clinic is if I get a negative result at >6 weeks post exposure than it's definitive negative. Only Intermediate results go on to need 12 and 18 week further testing.

Was getting a grip and now just loosing my SH!$ again. One more week to wait for result  >:(

Offline strggling

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #7 on: May 22, 2011, 09:53:12 PM »
I am currently waiting on my ELISA test result and scared out of my mind!

My partner has been experiencing an all over her body itching/sensitive skin that's been going on for a week, no sign of rash though. Would this be a possible symptom of end stage seroconversion? 

I am still experiencing muscle ache/fatigue and my mental state is a train wreck. I try to remember the possible exp incident and as alcohol was involved am so scared something may have gone wrong with the condom without my noticing it.

Can you please answer if I had known that a condom breakage had happened after intercourse was over would my 46 day post exposure test result if negetive still be a definitive result, or would the final 13 week test be the advised for a conclusive result?

Offline Andy Velez

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #8 on: May 23, 2011, 09:06:14 AM »
With a negative result in your instance at 6 weeks, another negative result at 13 weeks would be an extremely likely result.


Your gf shoudl be talking with her doctor. Whatever is going on with her symptomatically is not about HIV. And you are so loaded with guilt that it is coloring everything that happens to either of you.

Ultimately I expect you to come out of this ok.
Andy Velez

Offline strggling

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #9 on: May 23, 2011, 11:40:53 PM »
Hello Andy,

Yes you are right. I'm definitely seeing through HIV coloured glasses right now and there is a lot of outside pressures going on with my life compounding all the stress and depression and sickness I'm going through.

I have traveled back into some older 'A.I.I.' posts and yes found some cases with partners who had both displayed a lot of ARS symptoms but came out of this ok. One was a case with the 'swinging heterosexual couple that had a condom failure' and the 'mesh702' case was another symptom case that has helped to calm me and stop me going into complete breakdown mode again.

I will post the awaiting result.........  only a couple of days away now?

Thanks so much for your experience and sound advice, I'd be utterly lost without it.



Offline strggling

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Re: acute ARS symptoms both me and partner...Help!
« Reply #10 on: May 26, 2011, 02:32:40 AM »
So first thing to say is my day 46 ELISA result came back negative  ;D

I am so happy and can't believe how much time and energy I have spent feeling like all my worst fears would come true. Feels like it's been months waiting for today to come round actually.

So in my case my partner who had no reason to drive paranoia fed symptoms was still ticking ARS symptom boxes lasted for weeks, but it shows symptom really are not a indicator of HIV infection.

Will I test again at 3mth mark, not sure? I will look elsewhere for answers with my health issues.

Big thanks to Ann and Andy, you guys are awesome! I've learned alot here and will spread the play it safe message.

Strggling

 


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